(Things get pretty deep this chapter. A very poorly described panic attack, mentions of thoughts of suicide. Be careful. I love you.)

"Oh shit, oh my god, hide me!" Tyler panics, attempting to make himself as small as possible as he hides behind Josh.

"What? Why?"

"That's Brendon! Oh my god, he can't see me. Shit. Fuck," Tyler curses, peeking at said man from behind Josh's back. He's by himself, holding a six pack of beer and looking at cereals.

"Brendon?" Josh frowns, eyeing the man from head to toe. "Who is he?"

"The alcoholic neighbor guy I told you about!" Tyler whispers. "He's going to freak out if he sees me, especially dressed like this!"

"Hey now," Josh whips around, balled fists placed on his hips as he gives the brunette a stern look. "There's nothing wrong with the way you're dressed."

"Yeah but he's never seen me like this and can't we just go and come back? We don't need cereal that bad..."

"Come on, let's go talk to him," Josh grins, stepping out from in front of Tyler. The latter gasps and quickly tries to hide again, but Josh keeps pushing him forward.

Brendon's head turns toward the commotion. He looks annoyed at first and then gasps upon seeing his old "friend."

"Tyler! Dude!" He grins, more so looking at Josh than the brunette. "Who's this?"

"This is-"

"I'm Josh," he interrupts, giving Brendon his firm business-man handshake. Brendon seems surprised.

"Oh! I'm Brendon, Tyler's friend."

"He's told me about you," Josh grins, wrapping his arm around the boy's waist. Tyler literally wants to slap him. Although Brendon doesn't seem drunk, he's been through countless embarrassing moments with Tyler and the latter does not want Josh finding out. Who wants to find out their boyfriend was on the verge of ending it all because he was so lonely? That's some dark shit.

"Oh, cool! It's lonely without Tyler around," Brendon smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

Tyler frowns, carefully examining the man before them. Dark bags below lifeless eyes, facial hair grown out so much it's beginning to form a beard, baggy shirt covering a torso that is surely thinner than the last time Tyler saw him... God dammit. Brendon isn't just lonely.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Josh speaks, while Tyler feels like he's about to have a panic attack in the middle of the store. He can't really make out anything else Josh says, he feels so guilty.

He knows the look in Brendon's eyes too well, he's been in that spot before.  How could Tyler be so fucking selfish? Brendon lost someone before, years ago, all he had was Tyler and Tyler didn't even care. Tyler didn't appreciate Brendon in the same way he appreciated Tyler. He figured Brendon would be fine without him. He had no idea him leaving would make everything worse!

It's all Tyler's fault. He wants to make it right, he has to, but he doesn't know how. What are Brendon's plans for tonight? Is he going to be okay? What if this is the last time Tyler ever sees him? Oh god.

Tyler doesn't notice he's panicking until Josh's hands are on his shoulders, gripping hard and rocking him back and forth, bringing him somewhat back to reality. Tyler's suddenly aware of how hard he's breathing, his hands pressing against his chest. He has to make things right, he has to fix Brendon, he has to calm down, but he can't fucking do anything right now.

"Tyler, hey, it's okay," Josh says calmly, keeping his firm grip on the boy. "You're okay, everything is okay."

Everything is not okay. Tyler ruined Brendon's life and there's no way for him to make it right again.

"Tyler?" Brendon asks in a small voice, sounding like he's 100 miles away. "I'm okay."

No, he's not okay. Nothing is fucking okay!

Until suddenly... It is. Tyler can breathe again, he can think straight again. He feels how tight Josh is holding onto him, sees Brendon standing only a few feet away. He looks scared, so does Josh. Tyler blinks a couple of times, looking back and forth between the men.

"I- Uh- I'm..."

"It's okay," Josh repeats, his soothing lips pressing a soft kiss against Tyler's forehead. "You're okay."

He looks at Brendon who is very clearly concerned. God, he's such a good person. How did Tyler not notice before? Brendon's a good person, he doesn't deserve this.

"Josh, can I talk to Brendon alone?" He asks softly, hands still trembling against his thighs.

"Yeah, of course. Text me if you can't find me," Josh says, and leaves with a kiss to his cheek.

Brendon smiles, finally letting himself take in Tyler's appearance. "You look good."

"I do?" Tyler frowns.

"Yeah, you look better. Happier," Brendon gives him that smile again, as if he thinks Tyler is completely oblivious.

"How are you holding up?" Tyler asks slowly, noticing the nervous flicker of Brendon's eyes.

"I'm okay."

"I'm sorry," Tyler sighs, not letting the tears burning at his eyes fall. "I'm so sorry."

And he's hugging Brendon in the middle of Target. Who would have thought this would've ever happened? Brendon smells like he hasn't showered in forever. He's so skinny and it scares Tyler. 

"It's not your fault," Brendon replies, relishing in the hug as if he hasn't had one for years. "I'll be okay."

"No, it's totally my fault. I'm sorry. I should've been a better friend. I shouldn't have just left. I'm an asshole and if you want to slap me right now I totally understand."

"I don't want to slap you," Brendon chuckles, taking a step back when the hug breaks. "I'll be fine, really."

"I know how you feel. I do, really. Don't you remember all those times I came to your house in the middle of the night and just broke down crying?"

"Vaguely. I was a little drunk," Brendon grins, trying to make a joke out if it. But this is serious, Tyler isn't smiling.

"You remember how I'd cry to you and tell you I had nobody and nobody would miss me? You remember how I'd suddenly seem like I was fine and then leave as if it never happened? I know what you're thinking right now Brendon, and it's not true."

"What am I thinking?"

"That you're alone. That nobody cares about you and nobody wants you around. That nobody would miss you and the world would go on without you. I know that's what you're thinking. I know because you carry yourself the same way I used to," Tyler rambles on, not really sure where he's getting with this. But he has to help Brendon somehow, he has to make a difference.

Brendon swallows, eyes darting through the aisle nervously. He won't meet Tyler's eyes. "It's true."

"No! It's not fucking true, okay? I care about you and I want you around and I would miss you and I want you to get better! I want you to stop numbing everything with alcohol because all that does is make it worse. I want you to get help," Tyler sighs, finally getting Brendon to look at him.

"I need help?" He looks incredibly devasted, as if he just watched somebody kick a puppy. Brendon glances at the pack of beer in his hand and slowly sets it on the ground. "I need help..."

"I know, and I should've told you before. I should've been a good friend and got you get the help you need but I was a jerk and I didn't. But I'm here now. You're such a good person Brendon, I know you are. You just need a little help to find yourself again," Tyler offers a small smile, which Brendon hesitantly returns.

"I'm a good person?"

Tyler nods. "I know you are."

"I need help."

Tyler nods again.

"Can you help me?"

"I can help you get help," Tyler says. "Do you want that?"

Brendon chews on his lip, eyeing the case of beer next to him. After a moment of silence, he nods. He brings Tyler in for another hug, this time so tightly the brunette can hardly breathe.

"Thanks for caring about me," Brendon whispers. "You're a good person, too."

After exchanging phone numbers and helping Brendon find the nearest alcohol treatment and rehab center, Tyler gives the man one last hug.

"You have to do this yourself, okay? I'm not the one setting up an appointment, I won't be the one making sure you go every day. Your life is in your control," Tyler says slowly, making sure his words sink in.

Brendon nods. "I know."

"Good. Text me sometime, okay? I can come over whenever you want."

"Thanks, Tyler."

"No problem, man."

💎👑💎

"I'm so proud of you," Josh gushes as Tyler helps him load the groceries in the backseat. "I love you so much."

Tyler smiles, handing him the bags from the cart. "I had to help him. I was such a jerk before."

"You're good at heart, hon. Just like you said Brendon is. I just hope he goes and gets the help," Josh says, opening Tyler's car door for him once all the groceries are loaded.

"Me too. I'm going to call him tomorrow," Tyler promises himself, turning the radio on as soon as Josh starts the G-Wagon.

"You must have a sixth sense or something," Josh jokes, one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding Tyler's. "How could you tell something was up with him?"

"I just could," Tyler shrugs, not wanting to tell Josh anything in even the slightest bit. "He was different from the last time I'd seen him and once he said it was lonely without me I just knew it was my fault and freaked out."

"Ahhh," Josh nods, squeezing the boy's hand lightly. "We should invite him over for dinner sometime."

"Yeah! That would be nice," Tyler smiles, letting his mind wander as they fall into a comfortable silence, aside from the radio of course.

He's not sure why he hated Brendon so much before. Was it because he was drunk all the time? Or because he depended on Tyler and Tyler didn't like that because he felt like he had nobody to depend on? Whatever the case, Tyler is glad he made things right.

Brendon deserves to be happy just as much as he does. And Tyler's glad he realizes that now. 

__A/N__

Hi just wanted to say I know I made Tyler's character but I'm proud of him lmfao. We love a glow up 😩