‼️ TW // MENTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE AND UNDERAGE MARIJUANA USE ‼️

***

A life full of mistreatment and disappointment; that's what Jung Hoseok would answer when people interviewed him and asked him how his young life was.

Jung Hoseok, a man who is known worldwide for his accomplishments, didn't start out with the lavish life he is living now. He wasn't born with a golden spoon in his mouth. Wasn't born to be the new CEO of his father's company. He wasn't even meant to be born. But, unfortunately for his parents, he was born as a healthy baby.

And so, once Hoseok was of the age to work, he was forced to apply to as many jobs as he could. He'd often work up to three different jobs a week, skipping school on most days. He surprised everyone when even though he was absent most of the time, his grades were one of the highest in the whole school. And when he didn't earn enough to pay the bills for that month, he was beaten.

Unfortunately, Hoseok fell into the percentage of teens who found a route of escape from drugs. He'd keep a few grams of weed inside his bedside drawer, taking them out and taking a puff when he felt like it. His parents knew, but didn't care. Hoseok didn't know wether he was the problem, or if his parents weren't even meant to be parents in the first place. Who was in the wrong here?

He didn't dwell on that question too much, and instead was caught off guard by a man's question one cold and dark night.

As his feet dangled over the railing of an old out-of-use skate park, he puffed out a cloud of smoke into the air. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. He had clocked out at work two hours before and it was now midnight. He had to be home.

"It's not like they'll care anyway." he murmured, looking up into the moon. It looked even more beautiful that night.

"Is this how you want to live your life, young man?"

Hoseok turned to the side, hearing the older man's voice close to him. The man appeared to be in his late sixties-early seventies. He had greying hair, a full beard, and was dressed in an old jacket with matching old jeans. Hoseok looked back down at his hand, the joint rolling through his fingers.

"Why are you taking to me, old man?" he asked, uninterested.

The man let out a small chuckle, "Well, you'd talk to someone who looks lonely, right?"

"I'm not lonely." Hoseok replied immediately.

The man looked at him. "You might not want admit it, but from your appearance and your sad face, I can tell you are. Everyday, you have the same emotionless face."

"...What, have you been stalking me?"

"Maybe."

Hoseok looked back with a frown and a weirded out look.

"Not in that way. But, I can say this. I can see the longing gazes you give the children who come here to play with their parents." he stops, looking at Hoseok's expression, "Just from that, I can tell your home isn't a home. You haven't had the chance to experience a happy family. You haven't received the love from your parents. You haven't—"

"Stop." Hoseok interrupted, the burnout and stepped on joint in the ground under his foot. His hands were in fists, his head down. "You don't know me."

"Probably not personally, but I do know that what I said was correct. Just from your reaction."

The two stayed silent for a few minutes, until Hoseok's pose dropped, turning his head to look back at the man. "What is it that you want exactly?"

The man leaned against the tree behind him, "It's been my long life dream and accomplishment to help someone achieve their dreams. I haven't been able to meet the right person. Until now."

He walked up to Hoseok, a few feet away, and extended his hand. "Let me guide you into the light."

***

Thanks to the help of that mysterious man, who Hoseok then came to know was named Mr.Gwan, Hoseok was able to leave the hellhole he was brought into since birth. He received the punches and throws his parents gave him when he was packing some of his things and leaving the house. He got into the man's car, not saying a single word, his head lowered and his jaw clenched.

And for the first time in years, he let himself cry. Gwan reached over and rubbed his head, eyes widening briefly when Hoseok leaned into the touch. He drove with one hand, the other on Hoseok's head the entire way. Hoseok eventually found a father figure in this stranger. A father that filled the empty hole in his heart.

Intelligence came to him naturally, so it wasn't a big surprise when once he earned enough money, his company become one of the biggest in all of Korea. Everyday, he was getting business offers from other top companies. Companies that were once way over his league and that he was now beating. And for once, he was able to say he was semi-proud of himself.

He had built this big empire on his own. Helped from the words of the man who noticed his bad childhood, and who didn't want the potential he saw in Hoseok to go to waste. And Hoseok, was forever grateful to him. But he should've known he wasn't going to be around forever.

As he laid on the hospital bed, ill from a stroke, Hoseok tried his hardest to not breakdown in front of him. He was tempted to just lay his head in his lap, feeling his father's fingers running through his hair as he cried loudly. But instead, he just held his hand, watching how his eyes opened and closed slowly.

"I...Father, I am very grateful for you saving me that night. For helping me become someone in this life. I wouldn't be anywhere at this age. I doubt I would've even been able to live as old as I am now." he stopped, swallowing a sob that threatened to leave his mouth. "Father I...I love you so much. You have given me the push I needed the most. You've helped me as every day passed. You are my biggest encouragement." And I can't believe I will have to live without you from here on out.

"Hoseok-ah, you are the best son I could've ever had. You did big things with the potential I saw in you. But you did this all, on you own." Gwan spoke, voice barely above a whisper. He reached up and pressed his finger on Hoseok's chest. "You did this. You've become the man you are, all on your own. And I couldn't be prouder of you. I love you."

And as Hoseok felt his hand go limp in his, he finally let out the chocked out sobs he had been keeping in.

***

After that day, Hoseok feared ever loving someone. The one person he loved as a father, died. He didn't want to feel the pain of losing a loved one again. Wether that was a lover, a friend, or a child. He didn't want to experience the same heartbreak again.  The women and men he'd slept with in bed were just a distraction from his stressful work life. Not to mention his terrible mental situation.

Even now, Hoseok has nightmares about his child hood. The words he'd get called, the bruises and cuts he'd see covering his body in the mirror every day. They bring chills up his spine daily. And right when he decided to finally try and settle down, he received a straightforward and honest message notification from an app he didn't even remember he had.

He smiled at the message, amused at the other's straightforwardness. He types back a reply, not knowing what it would've brought. And now, without wanting to admit it, he knew he was falling in love with Seokjin.

He'd wake up earlier than the younger, wanting to get a chance to just observe him as he slept. See his angelic face every morning. His smile. His blush. His expressions. His...everything. Hoseok was starting to love everything about him. And that brought both fear and hope into his heart.

____

•••

i listened to pink in the night by mitski as i wrote this, so a few tears were shed, lol 🥲