Jury's in, I am unable to put my legs all the way behind my head. But I'm pretty close, and we both had a lot of fun trying to make it happen.

Now here I sit in the window sill of Harry's Paris apartment at 2:54am; balancing a mug of tea on the ball of my knee as I stare down at the streets below. It still feels so wide awake, even with the majority of the lights out across the city. My body is too excited about this new adventure, I can't quite will it to go back to sleep so I figured a bit of tea might help.

I turn my head and look back into the room at the large bed directly in front of me. Harry lays across his side of the bed, his arm still outstretched over to my side, as it was gently nudging me into his side before I woke up. This day has been an absolute dream, and it's all been because of him. I crane my neck upwards to get a small glance of his face; completely at peace, mouth slightly open with his hair flopped onto the pillow. I don't think I've ever seen him so calm and peaceful before; I can beat that there are probably a million things he has to be constantly thinking about so sleep is his only reprieve.

I should be more appreciative of what he does for me and the way he treats me. I should be making his life easier, not harder. I know I don't deserve to be with him; he's so kind and generous and smart and beautiful and I'm, well, I'm me. I'm certainly no prize, and yet here he is, trying his best to make me happy. He says he's not used to all of this relationship stuff, and he's been doing a pretty good job of it in my opinion. Yes, the contract still exists, but I don't truly feel like either of us are enforcing it at this point. Though I can't lie, it's existence still nags at my brain, trying to trick me into thinking that my feelings aren't real, and neither are his.

Why do I have to be so fucking miserable about this sort of stuff? I can't ever allow myself to be truly happy about a situation because I'm afraid it will just end. As if refusing to acknowledge my happiness for more than a day will result in my world falling apart. If I were a therapist I'd say that it all traces back to my childhood, when if things were good they were never good for long. It's a subject I may have to talk about with Harry one day, and I'm not looking forward to when that day comes. How does one go about explaining all of my experiences and traumas without sounding like a steaming hot mess with a freighter full of baggage?

I sip my tea, it's gone cold now, that's what I get for letting myself run away with my thoughts. What if Harry and I actually made it work long term? Could I handle him being away a lot of the time and the constant working? It would be easy to just focus on the glamorous stuff; the money, the clothes, the trips, the fancy dinners; but if I'm being honest him having money is one of the things I like the least about him. Yes, money makes things easier, but easier isn't always better.

"Bubs..." I hear Harry's soft gruff voice from the pile of sheets. I turn my head to see Harry propped up on his elbows, looking around the room before his eyes land on me. He holds my gaze for a moment before he opens his mouth again. "You alright?"

I nod my head with a wide smile, he looks so scruffy and cute, and he's calling out for me. "Yeah, just couldn't get back to sleep" I shrug my shoulders.

Harry slides one of his hands out from the sheets and rubs his eyes with a soft lazy smile. "It will all still be there in the morning, come on"  I nod my head with a smile and swing my legs down to the ground, placing the cup of tea on the bedside table and climbing up into the bed. It will all still be there in the morning, and so will he, for now at least.

"Something on your mind that's keeping you up?" Harry asks in the middle of a soft yawn. His arm still lays on my side of the bed, so when I lie down I'm immediately pulled into his side. I go willingly, laying my head on his shoulder and wrapping my arm across his stomach. He sleeps with no shirt on, I can barely make out the swirls of ink across his body in this low light.

"No" I lie, 3 am is not the time to be talking about all the thoughts I have in my head. He doesn't seem convinced though, as he slightly furrows his brows. I tilt my chin upwards slightly and press my lips against his lightly, his other hand finds its way to my waist as he pulls me in closer. I would go further, but Harry's barely awake at this point, and my eyelids are starting to get heavier.

"What was your favourite part of the day?" Harry mumbles against my lips after a moment or two. I wish I could remain in this bubble forever; Harry and I wrapped up together talking in whispered tones about anything and everything. Like there were no contracts, no hotels and no baggage.

"Everything was incredible" I grin and press a soft kiss to his lips. "But my favourite part...probably when you picked me up from the train station" I reply.

"Really?" Harry asks in a surprised voice.

"Yeah. You're always so busy, it just felt nice that you were there to pick me up. I don't know, the whole day was amazing but you being there just made it so much better" I can feel the heat on my cheeks rise as I answer his question. He could have sent a driver or one of his assistance to hold a sign with my name on it to get me, but he went out of his way to come and get me, that meant something to me.

"Yeah well, I didn't want you to feel anxious when you first got here. Plus, I wanted to see you" Now it's his turn to blush, I can't see the red tinge in his skin but I know it's there. I lean my head up again and softly kiss his cheek, it feels warm to the touch and slightly scratchy. I'd love to see what he looks like if he let his facial hair grow in a little bit, but I don't know how likely that is to happen.

"You're sweet, now lets sleep" I whisper gently and curl my body up into the side of his, my head lying on Harry's shoulder. I can feel him place a soft kiss to the top of my head before we settle into the sheets and drift off. I see him in my dreams that night; along with a young boy with blonde curly hair and eyes just like mine, asking me when daddy's getting home.

"Seriously, another call?" I whisper to Harry as he removes his phone from the inside of his jacket pocket. We've been at the Palace of Versailles for less than an hour and he's already received around a dozen calls.

"Have to take this one" he replies quietly once again as he steps back out of the room, finding his way back to the little courtyard we just passed. I thought he told me he got the day off to spend time with me, but he's spent the majority of his time answering emails and quietly yelling down the phone in French.

I'm trying not to be miserable, after all I'm in a fucking palace dripping in history, but it's tough. Yesterday feels like a dream, I miss having his undivided attention, he seems so removed now. The whole car ride here he was writing emails; 'just one more babe', 'damn it, last one I promise'. If he has shit to do I'd rather he just tell me than say he has his day free, because we aren't even spending any time together.

My attention is refocused as the tour guide begins to lead us into the next room, the large crowd around me following her. I should stay behind so that Harry doesn't get lost, but then I'd miss all of the interesting little facts about the rooms and who knows how long I'd even be waiting. I decide to follow the group, we haven't gone too far. Harry can catch up when he stops working. And boy am I glad I followed them.

"Now we have the most famous room in the Palace, the Hall of Mirrors" My breath is ripped out of my body as I enter the room, I don't think I was quite ready for the beauty. The warm sun bathed into the room and bounces off the hundreds of reflective surfaces around the room. There isn't a whole lot making up the room, besides the crystal chandeliers and gold statues. But when I look up, I see the ceiling is beautifully painted the whole way across. I'm too wrapped up in the wonder of it all, I'm barely listening to what the woman is saying to us.

People have begun to split off from the group, examining the pillars and peering out the windows to the gardens outside. I try to avoid looking at the walls, a room full of mirrors would normally be my worst nightmare, and it would be if the room weren't just so beautiful.

"There you are" I turn my head to see Harry walking back to join my side as I stand opposite the doors leading to the garden.

"Tours finished" I shrug my shoulders as he arrives by my side.

"Oh well, ready to go?" He doesn't care, that's pretty obvious.

"Why the rush? Somewhere you need to be?" I reply, walking slowly down towards the other side of the room. I realise I'm being a little petty, but I just want to spend time with him and not have him rushing off every ten minutes to take a call. I know what I said this morning, about how I was going to try and make it easier for him, but this is a little ridiculous.

"No, no rush, something more you want to see bubs?" He tilts his head to the side and shows me a hint of his precious little dimples. Little bastard; thinking he'll just charm his way back into my good books with those dimples and that name he knows I'm a sucker for.

"Not if you're going to have to run off for another phone call. If you have things you need to go and do I don't want to keep you" I stand my ground as best I can, it's not much of a statement but at least it's something. I can't let him start thinking that I'll just wait around patiently for him to decide he's done working and he's ready to spend time with me.

I hear him let out a gentle sigh from behind me as a golden statue of a baby playing a harp in the corner has my attention.

"Hey, come on" his hand reaches out to capture my elbow, gently nudging my body towards him. I try not too look pouty and pathetic as I lift my head up to meet his gaze. His eyes look like shining emeralds in this light, I could get blissfully lost in them for hours. He's dressed down today, a pair of dark jeans and a grey sweater. Not in his regular suit attire, he's not supposed to be working, and yet.

"I'm sorry, some stuff just can't be avoided. That should be the last one for the day. I don't want you to be upset, you should be enjoying yourself. I'm sorry if I've ruined the day for you" His voice drops to a much quieter tone as he sounds out his apology. Man I'm a bitch, I should cut him a bit more slack, it's not easy for him to not be working, he's the king of 'if you want a job done right, do it yourself'

"You didn't ruin the day, I just wanted to spend time with you, no more phone calls?" I reply with a tinge of hope as I place my hands on his forearms softly. He nods his head, the hint of a smile dancing across his lips. I shake my head, a smile appearing on mine before I tilt my head to the side. "I want to walk through the gardens, one last time" I promise him before he takes my hand in his and leads me down the stairs.

Three hours later we are back in the middle of Paris, having just left the Eiffel Tower we've found a little market. I'm a sucker for a good market, so I drag Harry through the stalls looking for nothing in particular. I find a stand that I like very much, a young father and son are selling their water colour paintings of the many views of Paris. It's attracted a couple of other people's attention as well, so I quietly flick my way through the small paintings while Harry stands outside the stall waiting for me.

The young man appears next to me after I've selected a few pieces and begins to speak to me in French. I can't lie, he's quiet gorgeous. He's tall with jet black hair and a smile almost too big for his face. I'm immediately embarrassed, he thinks I'm French, and he's waiting for my answer.

"I um, I don't speak French. Sorry" I mumble quietly before he nods his head, the smile not slipping from his face.

"Sorry madame, did you need any help?" He says in a thick French accent, leaning against the table of art I had been flicking through. I'm about to tell him that I'm okay when I feel Harry's presence next to me, an arm is slung over my shoulder and a kiss is pressed against my cheek. Harry takes the art out of my hands and hands it to the young man before speaking quietly in French and taking out his wallet. The young man nods and takes the money from Harry's hand and placing the art into a brown carrier bag. He hands it to me without a look or a word before Harry quickly ushers me out of the stall.

"Seems I can't leave you alone for five minutes without someone hitting on you" Harry mumbles as he guides me through the rows of stalls. My hand finds his and I lace my fingers in between his and tug on them, slowing his speed down so I can walk next to him.

"He wasn't hitting on me" I tell him quietly, a soft smile across my lips. Harry nods.

"He said to you 'how can I assist the most beautiful woman in Paris' I don't know what you'd call that, but I'd say it's a little flirty" My playful Harry is gone at this point, this one is jealous and steaming mad. We find the exit and I pull him to a stop and reach my free hand upwards to run it through his hair, hoping it will calm him down.

"Well he seemed to figure out I was with you towards the end" I tell him with a grin, a ghost of a smile crosses his lips as my hand brushes gently through his curls. His smile becomes a smirk as he shrugs his shoulders.

"Probably because I called him to stop flirting with my fucking girlfriend and give her her paintings" Harry smugly tells me, a boyish grin plastered across his face. I shut my eyes and try not to grin but I'm unsuccessful. Sometimes he's like a child, he needs to know that that's not a good way to tell someone to keep their distance. But that grin, he's so pleased with himself, and I can't deny that I like it when he calls me his girlfriend so freely.

"You could have just let it go" I tilt my head to side and reply, allowing a small smile to reach my cheeks. The boyish grin remains.

"But what's the fun in that?" He asks sarcastically before tugging on my arm down to navigate me down the street.

"Noooo I don't wanna" I whine gently as Harry tugs on my hand, towards the wide open doors of what looks to be a very fancy jewellery store.

"Well that's just too damn bad, it's a tradition now, come on" Harry grins widely as I relent and allow him to pull me into the store. I don't look the part for someone who should be shopping along this street, everything is so fancy and expensive and I feel like I'm the opposite. I'm wearing a pair of tight fitting jeans and a loose white sweater, Harry did seem to love the jeans when I put them on this morning so at least that's something.

The shop assistant at the counter immediately perks up as she sees Harry enter the store. I instantly hate her, the way she undressed him with her eyes makes me feel about 2 inches tall. When she opens her mouth, the words I don't understand sound very provocative and sexy, but that's just French I guess.

Maybe Harry can sense my uncomfortable state, as he effortlessly slings one of his arms over my shoulder and pulls me into his side. He speaks back to her and she gives me a tight lipped smile before gesturing is to the other side of the store. She no longer seems as excited as she was when we first entered the store. I stare at her and give her a large smile as I curl myself into Harry's side before he leads me over to the left hand side of the store.

"Pick one" Harry says as we stand in front of a glass cabinet, littered with tiny charms. I sneak a peek at the prices and my eyes nearly fall out of my head. I'm not completely aware of the conversion rate from euros to pounds but either way it's far too much for such a tiny piece of jewellery.

"Harry..." I start to interject.

"Pick one" He says again, more firmly this time, but immediately softens the mood by placing a kiss to the top of my head. It appears I'm not getting out of this store without choosing one, and if I don't Harry will buy me one anyway and it will probably be one of the more expensive ones. I sigh and lean my head forward, examining the lower priced charms. I smile up at him and point to the one I like; small gold charm of a frame, with a tiny painting of the Mona Lisa inside of it. Harry's smile grows as he sees my selection before gesturing over to one of the other sales assistants.

"Merci" I say quietly as the waiter places down the small pastry in front of me. Across the table from me, Harry stifles a small chuckle as he takes a sip of his coffee. "What, did I say it wrong?" I ask him quietly after the waiter leaves. I thought I had it right, I'm slowly becoming completely mortified. Harry's grin grows at my reaction as he shakes his head.

"No you got it right. You're just adorable" He leans his elbows on the table and tilts his body forward slightly as he speaks.

"I'm adorable?" I raise my eyebrow and ask him questioningly. He nods his head firmly, his eyes sparkling as the grin remains on his lips. I can feel my blush growing, maybe focusing on my pastry will help.

This trip has been an absolute dream, but now it's coming to an end. Our flight leaves in less than an hour to take us back to London. Harry's informed me that we will arrive back in London around 10pm, I'll stay at his and then in the morning we will all drive to Manchester for his uncles birthday.

"You okay? You're very quiet" Harry asks me. I nod my head, I've got to stop letting my thoughts carry me out of conversations, sometimes when people talk to me it's like they're talking to a corpse. I don't take on any information because I'm too busy lost in my own head.

"I'm fine, just nervous about the flight" I reply. It's not exactly a lie, I am nervous about flying for the first time. But I think the nerves are also preemptive, about meeting many of Harry's family members. I haven't decided what I'm going to tell them about myself; if I'm going to lie and try to impress or just be myself and deal with the consequences.

"You'll be alright. It's a quick flight, just over an hour. We've got good weather for it too, it's not so bad" He says matter of factly, taking a bite out of his croissant. I nod my head, he's flown hundreds of times so he knows what he's talking about. Plus, having him there with me will probably help me feel a lot better.

"How're you feeling, about your uncles birthday?" I ask him as I take a bite of my danish, of course it's incredible, I'm sure it's the first class lounge standard. Harry shrugs his shoulders, seemingly disinterested.

"It will be fine, we only have to be there for a couple of hours. They know I'm busy" He replies. His family dynamic is something I'm very interested in learning about. I might try and do a little subtle digging while I'm there. A loud voice over an intercom stops our conversation, telling us that our flight is now available for boarding. Harry and I quickly collect up our things and he leads the way towards our gate. A large line of people have already gathered to one side, I'm about to join the end of it when Harry takes my elbow and leads me towards the other side of the queue to a land labelled 'priority entrance' of course he's a priority.

It's when we begin the walk down the metal hallway towards the plane doors that I really begin to feel nervous. The flight attendance greet us warmly as we board and head to our seats. They are leather and extremely comfortable, I feel like the seat engulfs me as I sit down in it. Harry gives me the seat by the window, he insists that I'll be able to see the city as we take off even though the light outside is quickly fading.

I dig through my bag to find my headphones and my book before I stow away my bag underneath the seat in front of me. Harry sure beside me, furiously typing away on his phone. He managed to stay off it for most of the day, though I did at time see him possibly taking sneaky pictures of me as we explored the city. Guess I can't be mad about that, at least it wasn't work. And I'll give him a pass for this time, he hasn't been working for the last eight hours, he must have dozens of emails to sort through.

The seat pocket in front of me contains an information card about what to do during an emergency landing. Seems like information I should probably know, just in case. I lean forward and slip the card out of the pocket, scanning through the photos displaying the brace positions and the location of the doors on the plane. Harry cranes his head over and lets out a light chuckle as he sees what I'm reading.

"Love you're going to be fine" he says to me as he resumes his typing.

"I know I know, but better safe than sorry" I reply in a light tone, I feel better knowing that I'm only four rows away from my nearest exit and my life jacket is in my arm rest beside me. The steady stream of people passing down the aisle has begun to slow down, I check my watch and see that we are supposed to take off in ten minutes. Soon they'll close the doors, and I'll be stuck in here for the next hour whilst we hustle through the sky in the nighttime. How the hell do planes even see at night? Do they have headlights like cars do? What happens if they both decide to blow during the flight? And now I'm panicking.

"Hey, you okay?" Harry phone is placed back in his pocket and his attention is placed directly on me. "You've gone pretty pale" he observes. I nods my head, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"I don't think I'm going to enjoy flying" I meekly reply, I'm not going to let him in on my inner ramblings, he'll either think I'm dumb or crazy. His gaze softens as he nods his head slightly, reaching his hand over to hold onto mine.

"Everyone gets nervous the first time they fly it's totally normal. It's really not as bad as you think, and I'll be right here with you the whole time" his thumb begins to gently brush over the back of my hand, the rhythm is soothing and it gives me something to focus on. That's what I need, distraction.

"You're gonna have to distract me, when it gets all bumpy and everything" I tell him quietly. His lips turn upwards into a soft smile.

"I can handle that" he says. We're interrupted as the flight attendants begin to go through their preflight procedure. I pay close attention and memorise their instructions whilst most of the other passengers seem too busy to care. I know it's a speech that Harry's listened to hundreds of times but he pays attention, the whole time still brushing his thumb against the back of my hand. The plane begins to move without warning, I grip the arm rest tightly as a reflex.

"Planes just backing up babe, we're still on the ground" Harry tells me; but not in a condescending way, more as a reassurance. I nod and lean my head back against the seat as we begin to slowly make our way towards the runway.

"Okay now we're going to start speeding up, and then we will lift off the ground and get into the air" Harry leans his head over to tell me. My heart starts to pound as his instructions come to life, I grip onto the seat and try not to squeeze Harry's hand too tightly as we hurtle down the runway. Just as the pressure builds and the plane starts to shake, I feel the front of the plane lift off the ground followed by the back half. Oh I hate this, I fucking hate this. The plane dips and sways as it begins to go higher and higher off the ground.

"Y'okay?" It's only when I don't see Harry's face do I realise that I've closed my eyes and squeezed them tightly shut. I open them and turn to him, shaking my head. Despite my seatbelt, I feel like at any minute the bottom of the plane will fall off and I'll be free falling towards the ground.

"The take off is always a little rough, we will even out soon enough. Want a distraction?" He asks. I nod my head quickly and he leans his head back and presses his lips together. A few seconds later he lifts his head back up and his face is lit up with a soft smile. "How about I tell you about my first pet?" He asks. I nod my head again, leaning my head against the seat facing him, trying to focus on his voice and not our jumpy mode of transport.

"It was this little ginger cat named Olly, my sister and I found him in our garden one day during the summer holidays. He must have jumped over the fence from one of the neighbouring houses" he begins.

"How old were you?" I ask, I need to create the mental picture in my mind.

"Must have been five or six, my hair wasn't as curly but I was still a cheeky little bastard" he grins softly, I let out a small laugh before he continues.

"We found a can of tuna or something in the cupboard and we fed it to him. He ate it and then he came inside the house and just hung out. When my mum came home from work we told her what happened. And she said because he didn't have a collar on that we would take him to the vet the next day and if he wasn't registered to anyone then we could keep him. So the next day we went to the vet and he wasn't registered to anyone, so we got to bring him home. Well...a week later, my sister comes home from school with a flyer for a missing cat..."

"Oh god. You stole someone's cat?!" I whisper scream at him. His grin grows wider.

"We didn't mean to! They hadn't registered the bloody thing! The flyer said that they had just adopted him and he ran away and they really wanted him back. She didn't tell my mum and from that day on anytime she saw one of the missing posters she would take it down and throw them away" he bites his lip with a wide grin. I shake my head in utter disbelief.

"You never told your mum?!"

He shakes his head. "And we had him for 18 years, he would alternate between sleeping at the end of my bed and in my sisters room. No regrets" his dimples are on display.

"Wow, I can't believe you were an accessory to theft" I let out a quiet laugh. Harry joins me and nods his head.

"My sister is basically a hardened criminal"

"Does she steal professionally now?" I ask with a soft smirk. Harry takes a sip out of his water bottle and shakes his head.

"Nah; she works in insurance and has a kid, so her life's a little bit lame I guess" I widen my eyes a little, Harry never mentioned that he was an uncle.

"She has a kid?" I ask. He nods his head.

"Yeah, my little niece. She must be a year and a bit now. Her names Charlie. Cute kid, you'll meet her tomorrow" he shrugs his shoulders, but his smile still remains.

"That's so sweet" I reply, letting out a gentle sigh. The plane is less jolty and terrifying now, Harry was right.

"You see?" Harry squeezes my hand slightly. "Take off sucks, but once that's over it's not so bad" I nod and lean my head against his shoulder.

"Thank you" I mumble quietly, a small kiss is pressed into the top of my head telling me that my thanks was received. I suppose I had better get used to this flying life, if I was going to be with Harry I'd have to do quite a lot of travelling both with him and without him. It would be a bit of a struggle, but if all the trips we went on ended up being as great as this one then I think I could deal with it.