sorry it's short again!!!

Sometimes, when Remus wakes up, it's like he is still there.

In the seconds after his eyes fly open, his mind is still foggy with sleep and his hand will fly to grip Sirius. He panics, at first. When he can't find him.

Then, a few moments later, he remembers.

His hand stops its search for his love, and he is still. He stares at the blank wall a mere few feet from his bed. He tries not to think about the dream he had that woke him, or the silence that is too loud without Sirius' puffy breaths.

He's cold. Cold, and sore, because he can't afford blankets and he had stopped healing himself after full moons. He couldn't afford bandages and spells only did so much, and feeling pain was better than nothing at all.

Most nights he lays there, awake, painfully aware of the missing heat against his chest where Sirius would curl into him. Painfully aware of how he's still in love with a traitor and a death eater.

And most nights, when he can't handle staying awake anymore, he closes his eyes and Sirius is still there.