vague unrequited love jily angst

There's blood on James' knuckles. Lily wants nothing more than to kiss him.

She knows she's supposed to be more worried. Normal people panic when their boyfriends bleed. But they were in the fight together and James is always okay.

Lily is supposed to be a lot of things, anyway.

On account of James being her boyfriend, she takes his hand and wipes at it with her thumb.

"Thanks," James says. There's a smile in his voice. It sounds gentle. She wishes James was soft more often. He's always happy but never soft. You can never tell behind his glasses, anyway. But he's not wearing them right now.

Lily glances up to James looking at her like she fell right out of heaven. She finds she feels absolutely nothing.

James is her boyfriend. She's supposed to have butterflies. She isn't stupid. So why does she have to remind herself?

"Lily," James says. "I love you." It sounds gentle. Lily tries to say it back and finds she can't form the words. She kind of wants to die.

"Your knuckles are bruising," Lily says instead, because she can't think of anything else.

"Well, so's my face," James says, grinning, and Lily squeezes at how quiet his voice is. She thinks James keeps smiling wider to make up for how sad his eyes are. Maybe Lily should smile more, too, to make up for how empty her words are.

There's blood on James' knuckles. Lily thinks she's supposed to want to kiss him.