I couldn't do the type of punishment Sloane wanted me to do to her anymore.

I just couldn't.

What she's looking for me to do is not what I call fun.

Sure, I enjoy teasing about punishing her if she refuses to listen to me or do what I ask her to do. And I should discipline her for freaking me out, but I can't. I want to punish her in a fun, sexual way—not angrily punish her because she upset me.

Everything Sloane's wishing I do makes me feel like I'm abusing her. And that's not how I want to feel.

After learning her husband had his hands on her, I especially don't want to be known as that guy. And I don't want to be the one to bring back old wounds should something go wrong with the type of punishment she wants.

I enjoy spanking her, and I love seeing my handprint temporarily branded on her skin, but it doesn't thrill me to see my marking on her ass over my loathing about her hiding things from me.

"We can't do this anymore," I said, untying and removing the blindfold from Sloane's eyes. "This isn't me. This isn't who I am. This isn't what I enjoy doing."

"What?" she asked, confused, shifting her head to the side. "I don't understand. You're always telling me you'll punish me if I don't listen or do what you want me to do or say."

"Yes. I know. But I'd rather punish you in a fun way. Not this way," I explained, plopping onto my back beside her. Looking at Sloane, I reached for her, pulled her into my arms, and held her tight. "After you said Logan's hands were on you, your daughter as a witness, my conscience tells me I need to approach your situation differently."

"That's different. What Logan did isn't the same as what you're trying to do to help me. He tried to help me end my life. You're trying to help me see that my life is valued, that I belong here, and that you and I belong together. There's a difference," she tried justifying, but I still wasn't having it.

Pulling her to my mouth, I pressed my lips to hers and smiled against them. "Your life is valued; you do belong here, and you and I belong together. If you see that now, there's no reason to beat that message into your mind."

She blinked a few times as she soaked in my words.

Her gaze on me thickened as she thought about responding to my genuine statement. Finally, she whispered, "I don't want to be the person you've known me to be since returning to Chicago. I want to be looked at as the girl you wanted when we were in high school. I want to be back in her shoes, clothes, mind, heart, and soul. I want my old self back, Aaron. Something needs to be done to help snap me back into that person, into that mind frame I'm desperately craving to return to."

I slid my fingers through her hair and pulled her to my mouth, softly and slowly kissing her lips, my tongue on edge, desperate to ravish the girl I was holding dear in my arms, craving to taste every inch of her while showing her, I'll have her back to her old self without my having to punish her.

I want to show her that I can bring her back to who she desires to be, not by disciplining her but by showing her affectionately that she's valued in my heart, eyes, mind, and soul.

I want Sloane to see and feel I want her for who she is—for who she was and who she is now.

I don't want her to feel I'm punishing her for what was said and done twenty years ago, and I don't want to punish her into believing it's what's needed for her to snap out of what she's going through.

Breaking from Sloane's luscious lips, I gazed into her eyes and caressed her bottom lip with my thumb while genuinely telling her, "I promise you. You'll be back to who you want to be in no time. I'll have you back to being the person you desire to be without having to beat it into you to be that person. Let me help you the way I'd like to help you. Don't let Trent's suggestion allow you to believe that's what needs to be done to help you. I want you to listen to me and my sister's suggestions. Let me show you you're worth being here without using my hand, a paddle, a flogger, or even having to dangle you from the air. I promise you, I'll never walk away or threaten discipline should you do or say something to anger me. If you follow my advice, not my friends but mine and my sister's suggestions, you'll be that person you've desired to be for years—without physical punishment."

As they gazed into mine, the look in her eyes showed she was questioning my promise to her.

I was right.

"I'm having a hard time believing what you're telling me. Aaron, I need discipline to stay in the present, not the past. I don't know how you can do this without what I'm begging you to do."

I cupped either side of her face, brought her to my lips, and kissed them.

"Trust me," I demanded as my lips left hers.

"How can I? How will you keep me under control without having to discipline me? How will you keep me in the present when my mind constantly wants to stay in the past?"

My lips stretched wide. "Easy."

"Easy," she repeated, with a huff of a laugh, not believing my answer.

Holding her face and eyes hostage with mine, I asked, "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"Then trust me with helping you overcome this depression without punishment. I can keep you in the present without doing what you want me to do."

"I still don't know how you will."

My lips pecked at hers. "Like I said. Trust me. What I plan to do will be the best way to keep you focused on the present and not the past."

All I have to do is continue showing her my love and attention.

If I can show Sloane how much she means to me, how much I care about her, how much I want her by my side, how valued she is to remain six feet above the ground, and that we'll have a future together. Every day going forward, she'll never think about looking back at the past. She won't have the time to. All she'll see is us having a beautiful future together.

One we both wanted twenty fucking years ago.

"Trust me," I repeated, pulling her tightly to my mouth and kissing her with a possessive demand of determination to show how much I care about her.

Now, it's time to show her the true bedroom style of Aaron Rhodes. How I imagined her being the woman I was pleasing every time I fucked a woman that wasn't my dream girl.

I left her mouth and lowered my hands to her armpits, digging them in; I hoisted her up to my face.

"Aaron? What are you doing?" she asked, fear in her voice when her pussy grazed my nose and mouth.

Smiling against her pussy lips, I said, "I'm going to devour this needy pussy with you sitting on my face. If you have to, use the headboard to help hold yourself."

Her eyes caught mine when she looked down at me. Her eyes appeared to be full of questions, fear, and wonder. "I'll smother you," she expressed, a sound of worry in her voice.

It's exactly what I want her to do. Smother me. I want her scent plastered on my skin to give me something other than her natural body scent to relish while I sleep.

I chuckled. "I want your thighs pressed against my cheeks and your pussy to smother me as you ride my face, Sloane. I want you to lather my face with your arousal as you squirm against it—mark my face with your orgasm."

"I've never—"

"I know," I said, cutting her off, knowing what she was about to say. "You've been asking and begging for me to fuck you in ways you've never been fucked. Well, sweetheart. Buckle up because you're about to have a ride of your life. A ride I can promise will never end if I'm who you want for the rest of our lives."

She gasped, surprised by my hopeful proposal.

"I meant every fucking word. If I'm who you want, let me show you you're who I want—forever. Now smother my face by giving me that beautiful fucking pussy."

Taking in what I had just said to her, her eyes closed for a moment, and then they opened when she quietly said, "What if I crush you, making it so you can't breathe?"

I chuckled, gripped her hips, and as I lowered her to my mouth, I told her, "Trust me. You won't crush me. And you won't make it, so I can't breathe. If anything, I'll make it so you can't breathe."

Firmly gripping her hips, I pulled her to my mouth, and when her pussy hit my lips, my tongue slid desperately through her moistened lips, targeting her swollen clit.

I flicked my tongue against it.

I twirled my tongue around it.

And as I helped encourage her to ride my face, my tongue gracefully danced against her bundle of nerves.

She moaned and groaned. Her body jerked and shuttered. Her growing excitement flowed nicely along my tongue. And her need to orgasm was becoming more evident with the sounds leaving her lips and how her body was reacting.

Although, I didn't want her to orgasm just yet. I wanted her to enjoy the pleasure of my devouring her pussy longer, so I slowed my tongue massaging.

Then, when I heard her breathing hitch, I abruptly stopped altogether.

Sloane's head dropped, and her eyes opened when she asked, "Why did you stop?"

"I want you to control yourself. You're getting excited way too quickly."

"How can I control something that feels way too good for me not to let myself go?"

"You need to learn how to control yourself. If you can control an orgasm you're about to have, you'll be able to control anything—like your mind when you feel a trigger coming—that one that puts your mind in depression mode."

"So you're edging me," she hissed.

"Yes, and no. I'd like to say I'm training your brain to think differently. And if I can train it to control how your mind thinks positively, with my sister's help on top of it, you'll be back to the girl I fell in love with twenty years ago," I confessed, hopefully, while thrusting a couple of digits inside her warmth.

I hope my plan to keep her in the present works because the suggestion Trent gave her was killing me. I understand his logic, and one would think it would work, but it's not for Sloane. She's too fragile, and knowing her husband's hands were on her in a not-so-good way, I can't go Trent's route.

Besides, I was never trained to be a dom that way. That was always Trent's and Callum's doing. I only observed.

I'd hate nothing more than for something to go wrong while punishing her, and she get terribly hurt.

Sloane's body rocked simultaneously with my finger thrusts, silently letting me know she needed them to be inside her deeper. She also told me I needed to find that spot that made her come undone.

With my eyes on her, I teased, "Are you being a needy girl right now? Telling me you need to come?"

"Please, Aaron. My pussy is begging for something exciting to happen. Please let me come."

Humored by Sloane's exhorting, I allow her to come; my lips stretched wide, and I took her clit between my fingers and teased it before pinching and pulling until she howled.

"Aaron, please!"

She's going to be pissed at me for what I'm about to tell her, but if she imagined it was me instead of Logan, she was having sex with, hoping to help make her orgasm, the orgasm I'm about to give her, I want it to be so explosive, she'll never have to imagine anyone else helping her achieve that excitement ever again.

Even though I've given her multiple orgasms since we started having sex. It's that this time, I want Sloane to keep her eyes on me, for her to see I helped give her that over-the-top orgasm she's desperately needed while she rides my cock. And not just by imagining it.

"Not yet."

"Aaron," she whined.

The desperation in her eyes and the discouragement in her voice had me devilishly chuckling. I guess you could say I'm disciplining her to some degree.

But not for long.

I wanted to fuck her like I've wanted to do, but right now, I'd like to give Sloane the spotlight. I'm curious to see how she does being the one in charge.

I lowered her glistening pussy from my face to my cock, and as I lifted her hips and pulled her down my shaft, I ordered, "Ride my dick, Sloane. Fuck it like you own it. I want to watch you fuck me like you've always dreamed of doing. I want to witness the earth-shattering orgasm you'll receive from riding my cock."

A horrified look appeared on her face as we became one. "I can't."

"You can't what? Fuck my cock? Why not?"

"You know why," she whispered. "I've never—"

"You can fuck me, Sloane," I encouraged, cutting her off. "I'll even help guide you until you get the hang of it." With my hands firmly holding her hips, I lifted her, and when her pussy got to the tip of my cock, I pulled her down hard and fast and then repeated until she began doing it on her own. "That's it, gorgeous. Fuck me just like that."

To encourage that wild orgasm I want her to experience, a couple of my fingers targeted her swollen clit. With a bit of pressure, I circled and rubbed it up and down and side to side, increasing the speed of my fingers after hearing the excitement in the sounds leaving her lips.

Then, to inspire Sloane's mind-blowing orgasm, I brought my free hand to my mouth, wet a couple of my digits, and then reached around her and trusted those fingers into her tight ring. A mewl—a loud mix between pleasure, shock, and unsureness if she liked where my fingers were buried inside her, escaped her lips, and she bounced high from the unsuspected intrusion.

"Do you not like where these are?" I asked, wiggling the fingers buried knuckles deep inside Sloane's warm, tight hole, prodding her to carry on with what she was doing when her body froze.

"Nobody's ever touched that area of mine before, so I wasn't expecting you to do that."

Since I shoved two fingers inside her instead of one, I asked, "Does it hurt?"

"At first, it did."

"What about now?"

She slowly shook her head. "The pain's starting to go away."

The corner of my mouth pulled upward. I was happy to hear the pain was subsiding. I was also thrilled she didn't ask me to remove them. Still, to be sure my fingers were okay to be where they were, I asked, "Would you like me to remove them?"

Slowly, her body started moving, and she shook her head, saying, "No. Not yet." Helping to support herself, Sloane's hands rested on my chest, and then her eyes flickered to mine. "I haven't decided if I like it or not."

Bringing the mood back into the room, I pinched her clit, and the fingers buried inside her forbidden hole slowly moved back and forth. I flashed her a convincing grin, saying, "I know you'll like my fingers where they are." My grin widened even more as her hips gained speed. "The next thing you know, you'll be begging for me to fuck it with my cock."

Sloane's eyes widened a little, and her hips slowed, looking unsure how to respond to my comment.

I didn't want her thinking about what I said, so I pulled and rolled her clit between my fingers, and my other fingers pleasuring the forbidden hole, rocked faster.

A loud moan left her lips, her eyes closed, and her head tilted back. "Fuck, Aaron. That feels fantastic," she emphasized.

"You feel fantastic fucking my dick as well," I returned, gushing at how well she was fucking me.

Another loud moan left her lips when I curled my fingers and twisted them around her hotness. Her head lowered, and when her eyes locked with mine, her body shuddered as she said, "I hope you're still not making me hold back because I feel my orgasm is on the rise—like it's about to hit any second."

I already knew she was about to feed my cock with her orgasm—I felt the walls of her pussy enclose tightly around my dick.

"You don't have to hold back anymore. Come all over my dick," I encouraged, my hands flying to her hips, gripping them firmly and helping her bounce on my cock harder and faster.

The coloring of Sloane's face quickly flushed, and the panting and sounds leaving her lips became heavier. Her body shook, filled with goosebumps, and when she froze and let out a scream of happiness, I lifted my hips and filled her with my orgasm when I shoved my cock deeper into her universe.

Sloane's sweaty head dropped to my chest. "That was incredible," she happily gloated, her smile grazing my flesh. "That was one wild orgasm. I think I broke my toes from curling them as tight as I did."

I chuckled at that remark.

I enclosed and tightened my arms around her, proudly grinning as I asked, "So you liked where my fingers were buried inside?"

"I never thought I'd ever have anything shoved inside me like that. I never thought I'd like having something inside me there, either. Now I know what it feels like. And now I know why people rave about having anal sex—it's one of the greatest feelings ever to feel. I think I felt an orgasm in my ass."

That comment made me smile and laugh. I knew she'd like it.

"You most likely did," I said, chortling and proudly telling her, "I told you you'd enjoy it."

"Thanks, Aaron," she whispered, nudging her body upward and burying her head in the crook of my neck.

"Thanks for what?"

"For being the loveable, caring, most intuned guy I remember knowing you as," she said tiredly as if she were falling asleep. "For not punishing me like I wanted you to. And for trying something new with me and letting me experience new ways of having sex. It was exhilarating."

I lowered my mouth as I lifted her chin, kissing her lips and saying, "You're welcome. I feel my way to get you to not live in the past will work beautifully."

Her eyebrows furrowed as she asked, "Do you think so?"

I grinned, and with confidence in my way of wanting to help my girl overcome her years-long depression, I said, "I know so."

***

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to go a different route with helping Sloane. Punishment is what she needed after her confession, but I felt like shit while doing so. It wasn't right of me to punish her, as I, too, withheld a couple of things from her. Since I was in the wrong, I ended it—ultimately.

Best decision I made because since that night, Sloane has changed. Her mindset is different. She's been more bubbly, happy, talkative, smiley, and proud.

She has also been dressing more confidently by wearing more revealing clothes and attire that isn't for fall and winter.

I know it's only been a couple of weeks, and things can always change at any time, but I have a good feeling she won't return to being the depressed girl she's been.

I'm confident on this one.

With Shayla's help and how Eloise has been having Sloane over at hers and Callum's home lately, helping with her confidence as well, I believe my girl will overcome this battle.

I just know she will.

"Where are you taking me tonight?" Sloane asked as she reappeared in the living room.

"I told you. It's a surprise." I grinned and winked when she frowned.

"How am I supposed to know how to dress if you won't give me a hint?"

I want her to wear whatever she feels comfortable wearing, no matter where I bring her.

"Wear whatever your beautiful heart desires."

"Aaron," she whined, her hand forming on her hip. "Can't you at least give me some sort of an idea of where we're going?"

A devilish chuckle left my lips. "Nope. I want you to wear whatever you feel like wearing."

She spun on her heel and groaned, "Fine, be that way. I'll go naked then."

I like the sound of that, but I know she won't.

Teasing her, I said, "Promise?"

She playfully shrugged as she headed down the hallway to her room. "We'll see!" she sang, I laughed.

Twenty minutes later, she emerged from her bedroom, dressed in a robe with her hair pulled up and piled on her head in a messy bun. Leaving me to wonder if she's wearing clothes underneath or nothing at all.

I'd like to think she's wearing nothing underneath the robe, but I know better. She's teasing me, making me believe she's naked.

"Are you going like that?"

"Yep," she answered, walking past me.

Grinning, I swept her from head to toe, imagining what was beneath the robe she was causing me to do. "Which dress are you wearing?"

"I'm not wearing a dress."

I lifted a brow. "Shorts?"

"Nope."

"You're not naked. So what are you wearing?"

"That's for me to know and for you to find out."

I laughed, pushing up from her couch. "Well then. Shall we get going?"

"Yes. Let's go," Sloane demanded, a hint of a smirk playing on her lips.

If Sloane's naked, which I'm sure she isn't, she's going to be pissed at me once she sees where we're going and who we're about to see.

To be sure this was how she wanted to leave her house, and so she wouldn't blow a gasket on me, I asked, "You're sure you want to go out looking like that?"

"Yes. I. Am."

"Okay..." I emphasized questionably, grinning from ear to ear.

Peter and Arlo are going to be in heaven. Not only will they be in the clouds, but their unfiltered mouths will be on fire.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter!!