There are 25 main rituals to follow during Bengali Wedding,  which I am gonna divide in three sections and explain in a short note or one sentence. So here we go:

1)Pre-wedding Rituals

i)Adan-Pradan- Families of groom and bride meet to discuss the dates for the rest of the marriage, this happens after the groom and bride have liked eachother and agreed for marraige.

ii)Ashirbad- This can happen two to three days before the wedding. In this, the close relatives of the bride and groom bless the individuals by giving them gifts and this is performed at their respective homes.

Shankha-Pola-Apart from sindoor, a Bengali married woman usually wears bangles on both wrists made up of conch shell – shankha – and red coral –pala. A bride usually starts wearing these from the eve of the wedding. The custom is a homely one where her close family is only present.

iii)Ganga Nimantran- In this ritual, some members of the family march towards river Ganga while blowing conch shells. They carry items like a betel leaf, betel nut, bananas, haldi or turmeric and also diya. Those who live far away from the Ganga can do the same at a nearby pond or lake. This process is done for inviting the goddess Ganga to bless the wedding. It varies from family to family on how it is done.

iv)Aai Buro Bhaat- This is the bride and groom's last meal as a bachelor. It is also performed at their respective house. The meal which they eat looks like this-

The number of dishes may vary form family to family.

2)Wedding day rituals

Morning time

i)Dodhi Mangal- This ritual starts before day-break. The bride and the groom are fed soaked flattened rice or nariyal ka chuda mixed with mishit doi or sweet yoghurt. This is the only proper meal that the groom and bride will be consuming till they get married. They are not supposed to consume anything except sweets and water, the entire wedding day.

ii)Nandi Mukhi or Vriddhi- This ritual involves paying homage and respect to the forefathers of the family of the bride as well as the groom. The bride and the groom sit with the eldest male member of their respective families to perform the ritual. It is a Vedic ritual that requires the involvement of a priest. The bride wears a new cotton saree for this ritual.

iii)Gaye Holud- This is the normal tumeric smearing ritual, there are only few differences. Gaye Holud is first performed at the home of the groom at a specific auspicious time. Some of the same pasted turmeric that has been smeared on the groom's skin is brought to the house of the bride by some members of the groom's family. Along with that a new saree, usually a cotton one in yellow and red, is also brought for the bride. She changes into this saree and only then does the ritual of gaye holud start at the bride's house. The fun part is that the members of the family also start smearing haldi on each other!

iv)Twatho or takto- This is sub-ritual that comes under Gaye Holud. When the haldi is being taken from groom's house, several other gifts are also taken along with it. And a fish which is decorated as the bride is also sent. It is customary that friends and family spend days before the wedding packing and decorating these trays. The groom's family sends these gifts to the bride's family along with the haldi. So this is called the 'gaye holud er tatta'. The bride's family sends these gifts on the day of the boubhat.

The amount of gifts can vary. The fun part of this ritual is from kid to eldest in the family get to carry one of the tray to the brides house. And when they reach Brides house, they should be welcomed properly and the gifts should be kept in front of the ancestors picture for their blessings. I remember this very well as I had also done it for my Mama's wedding which I will tell later.

Evening Time

Bashi Biye rituals- This can be different depending upon which sect of Bengali are you from. There are two groups of Bengalis who follow slightly different Bashi Biye traditions. Those who have East Bengal ancestry, (now Bangladesh) are known as "Bangaal" and those who have their roots in West Bengal, called "Ghoti".

v)Dorpon and Bor Jatri- Before the groom is sent off to the , his mother hands him the Dorpon (believed to cast off evil) which is to be carried by the groom throughout the wedding. The mother then blesses him for his new journey and ties red threads and Tulsi Mala on his neck. Then the Bor Jatri or the Baraat proceeds for the wedding except for the mother, who's supposed to wait until the bride comes.

This is Dorpon (I never knew that).

vi)Bor Boron-Boron in Bengali wedding basically means welcoming. The mother of the bride performs the Chhele Boron (or welcoming the groom) with sweets and water while everyone else plays the holy Conch shell and does Ulludhwani. 

vii)Patta Bastra- This ritual take place under the chhadnatola or wedding mandap, which is a decorated square area or stage . Before the rituals start the groom needs to change into specific attire called the patta bastra which includes a dhoti and along piece of cloth which the groom is supposed to wrap around the upper part of the body along with Angti (gold ring), which he needs to wear during the wedding. . An elderly member of the family of the bride hands it over to the groom.

viii)Saat Paak and Shubho Drishti- Saat Paak takes place right after the bride is carried to the wedding mandap while she keeps her face covered with two betel leaves. Usually, the brothers or cousins carry her in a Peerhi or wooden seat (somewhat similar to a ), and that's when they take seven rounds around the groom. Once this Saat Paak is over, the bride and the groom look at each other three times on Shubho Drishti.

ix)Mala Bodol-Next the bride and the groom exchange garlands, thrice. A fun custom is performed at this time when friends lift the bride up so that it gets difficult for the groom to put the garland around her neck.

Around Fire rituals (night time)

x)Sampradan- The groom and the bride sit facing each other and the bride's father gives her hand to the groom and ties the holy knot using both their clothes. This is the also known as Sampradan in Bengali wedding. There are chanting of mantras which represents the groom promising the to take care of his daughter all his life. Once it's done, the couple now sits side by side, the bride on the left.

Bashi Biye rituals- This can be different depending upon which sect of Bengali are you from. There are two groups of Bengalis who follow slightly different Bashi Biye traditions. Those who have East Bengal ancestry, (now Bangladesh) are known as "Bangaal" and those who have their roots in West Bengal, called "Ghoti".

Bashi Biye sanan- This one is usually followed only in the Bangaal weddings. The next morning, the groom and the bride are given baths together while they stand on a Peerhi. After that, the groom changes into clothes that he came to the wedding in and the bride changes into clothes that are gifted by her in-laws.

xi)Yagna- Now, the bride and the groom sit next to each other while the priest helps them perform the yagnain front of the sacred fire. The ritual  is performed to make the God of Fire – Agni – a witness to the sacred union.

xii)Saptapadi-Though this ritual may sound similar to Saat Phere, it is not so! For this ritual, the bride steps on seven betel leaves placed on the ground one after the other. The groom follows while moving a nora with his feet as they move forward. A nora is a cylindrical stone used to ground spices.

Before this ritual the bride's saree pallu is tied to the patta bastraof the groom. This tie-up is called gatchhora.

xiii)Anjali-An offering of puffed rice is made to the sacred fire. The bride's brother hands her the puffed rice and the groom holds the bride's hands from behind her while both of them slowly pour the offering into the yagna fire.

xiv)Sindoor dan-The marriage rituals conclude with the groom smearing vermillion or sindoor on the hair parting of the bride. The groom may use a kunke or rice measuring utensil, a darpan or mirror, a coin or a finger ring for the purpose – it depends on his family customs. Immediately after the sindoor daan, the bride's head and face is covered with a new saree from the groom's family. This saree is called the lajja-bastra.

It goes without saying that dressing on the wedding night would not be an easy task for anyone. A Bengali bride is almost always seen in a red Benarasi brocade saree, gold jewellery and a golden veil. She wears her hair in a bun adorned with flowers.

The groom wears tussardhoti and kurta before changing into the patta bastra. Bengali men, attending the wedding wear kurtas with pajamas or dhotis. A sherwani can seldom be spotted. Bengali women, be it the mother or sister of the bride or a wedding guest, all wear sarees. A lehenga is almost absent.

3)Post-wedding rituals

i)Bashor Jaga- After the Bengali wedding ceremony, the bride and the groom take dinner with the close relatives. Then they enter a room called the bashor ghor. The sisters of the bride guard the door of the bashor ghor and they demand money from their new brother-in-law in exchange of letting him enter the room. Only after he agrees and an amount is decided, he gets the opportunity to enter the bashor ghor.

Then begins an interactive session followed by cultural activities like singing of songs etc. The bride, the groom and his friends sit on one side and the young members of bride's family and her friends sit on the other side. Different kinds of games are also played.

ii)Biday-The time of biday depends on customs specific to families. While some brides leave the paternal home early the next morning after the wedding, some families take the bride home only after sunset. This is a bittersweet moment when the bride bids farewell to her home and family. The bride and groom touch the feet of all elderly members of the bride's family. An important part of the ritual is the bride placing some rice on the pallu of her mother just before she leaves

iii)Bodhu Boron-As the bride steps into her new home she is first supposed to see milk being boiled in the kitchen. The rising milk that flows out of the vessel is symbolical of a household where everything is in surplus.

While the mother-in-law welcomes her with an aarti, she is required to stand with a kalash filled with waterin one hand and a particular kind of fish in the other. Then she steps on a vessel filled with alta and milk and then step on a white cloth and walk on it. The footprints on the white cloth are symbolical of the steps of Goddess Lakshmi.

iv)Kaal ratri- After the bride is welcomed into the family, she and the groom seek blessings from all elders who shower them with gifts. The mother-in-law gives her a special gift – the loha – a special kind of bangle made with iron. She is supposed to wear this on her left wrist always. The loha is a very important symbol of marriage in the Bengali Hindu community. Once this ceremony is over, the bride and groom are required to stay separate. They are not even allowed to see each other. This night is called kaal ratri.

v)Bou-Bhat and bhat kapod-The next day the bride eats rice cooked in her new household. The groom offers the bride a plate full of rice and other food items. He also offers her a new saree and tells her that from now on he will take the responsibility of her food and clothes.This is known as Bhat kapod. The bride then serves payesh,that iskheer, or ghee-rice to all other members of the family. The groom's family arranges a big reception party on the evening of the bou-bhat, where they invite all their friends and family. The bride's family are the guests of honor for the reception. They arrive together and are called the kone jatri. It is at this time that they bring the tatta from their side. Along with everything else, the bride's family is also supposed to bring a tray of floral ornaments for the bride and a bowl of khoi or puffed rice and sweet yoghurt.

vi)Phool-sajja-After the guests leave and the bride and the groom take their dinner with the groom's family, comes the time for the last custom of a Bengali wedding. Phool-sajya translates to a bed of flowers. The bed in the room of the newly married couple is decorated with flowers for the occasion. The bride changes into a cotton saree and wears floral jewellery and the groom changes into a cotton kurta-pajama.

All these clothes and floral jewellery come as part of the tatta brought by the bride's family. Then they eat the khoi or puffed rice with sweet yoghurt, also brought by the bride's family.  Also before the groom and bride spend the night together, the groom's cousins and sisters are allowed to trouble them for sometime. After this, the new couple is allowed to spend the night together. 

These are the bengali wedding rituals. Please refer to them when we are going through the wedding process.