In the seventh round of the Olympics, I had to write a 400-word critique about the last two chapters of a novel I had never read before.

It was strange diving into an unknown world where the characters were already established, and a lot of things I was unaware of had happened in the book. However, the author managed to make it easy for me to connect with the characters and make me want to read their story.

I found consistency in the tone and the writing style. There were a few typos, some wrongly capitalized dialogue tags, a few punctuation issues but nothing too important that can't be fixed with a careful reading.

I liked the first paragraph of the first chapter as it sets the tone of the scene. However, I don't like these sentences: "Rain...cape." I believe that the first sentence doesn't have to be there, or it can be rephrased because the verb "drop" is repeated, and both sentences describe a similar action.

I don't understand how a vampire, no matter how lost into his thoughts, couldn't sense someone who hasn't all the vampires' traits while attacking him. Instead, he saw her running but didn't react, so she managed to hurt him. I think he could be more distracted, maybe from a sound in the darkness. He probably wouldn't expect her to do this, but still, she made it look too easy to attack a vampire.

The first chapter ended in a great cliffhanger, and even though I didn't know anything about these characters, except what I learned in those few pages, I was curious to read more and learn what Bertrand would do afterwards. Here, I want to mention that Bertrand became my favorite character. I liked how he tried to save his brother, doing anything for him. His agony and fear while looking for him and after finding him were evident and realistic.

The first paragraph of the second chapter was full of dark colors in every sentence. It sets the tone of the chapter and maybe hints at a dark ending. But since the chapter ended with a glimpse of hope about the boys' fate, I think it would be nice to show something bright in that paragraph.

There was a sentence during the first flashback of the second chapter that was confusing. I understood what the author meant, but I had to read it many times to see if I was reading correctly: "The same Count...in dust." (p. 11)

I think the transition from the flashback scene with his mother to the scene where he's in the coffin was too abrupt. The way the paragraph started I expected to read the continuance of the flashback, but instead, I was brought back to the original timeline. Maybe there could be a sentence of how the scene blurred in front of his eyes or that he had a strange feeling as his mother was walking to that room. Then you can add the part where he opens his eyes. Also, I didn't like how "He wanted to scream. He wanted to shout...groan." was written. I think the author doesn't have to repeat the scream and shout part. I understand that it adds to Jack's agony but for me, it's an extra sentence that doesn't add to the scene.

The transitions between the reality and the flashback of Jack's mother announcing the pregnancy were much smoother and clearer.

"The vampire moved in unnatural speed." I don't think the word "unnatural" is needed. Since that person is a vampire, it's expected to run unnaturally, unless the vampires in your story don't have that trait, in which case it makes sense.

All in all, I liked the small details, like the indication that Jack's father was about to cry or was at least sad even though he looked like a tough, harsh character. I'm not sure how I feel about Lexi. She was miserable and uncertain, but I believe her character would be clearer for me if I knew the background.

There was a good balance of dialogue and description, and the flashbacks were written excellently. If the last sentence about the boy's nose is the last sentence of the novel, I can't say I was excited. I liked the small climax, but I needed to read more. Maybe make the contrast between the silence and their anticipation and the nose's movement bigger and more meaningful. Describing the doctor's movements with the blood more than his body language would work too.

I enjoyed reading the chapters, and I would loveto read the entire book because the author seems to have a different view onthe vampire genre than most books of that kind.