Arashi POV

"I'm back home." - I opened the door, walk inside the house and take my shoes off.

As usual, I didn't get any response. I didn't expect an answer either. Cause I know my mother would never do that.

After visiting Aliaa, I didn't go back home right away. I take a little walk around the town to clear my mind a bit, or you might say I avoid coming home and choose to run away. On the way, I also buy something for Shadow tomorrow as a present for his birthday, a bracelet and a small cake. However, I have been out for a couple of hours. It's already eleven o'clock.

There was no light inside the house. The only thing that helped me see my surroundings was the street light shining through the door frame. It's almost night, and the traffic on the street is also significantly reduced, making this place even more silent. It makes me feel lonely.

The smell of alcohol and cigarettes was heavy in the air. As I walk closer to the kitchen, I quickly cover my nose just because it's something I detest. I hate alcohol, not just the smell of it. Because It's not good for my mother's health whenever she's drunk. She will start beating me. But, this is enough to understand that my mother was at home and appeared to be asleep.

I walk to the kitchen and looked helplessly at the fainting mother on the other table. Then look at the beautiful mess she left me. There were only bottles of wine around, some of which were still dripping onto the floor, and cigarettes and cigarette packs everywhere.

-"How messy..." - I thought to myself. All my hard work of cleaning the kitchen this morning is worthless. I guess I have to do that again now.

Slowly walking closer and not making any sounds, I start the cleaning all over again. Picking up each bottle of wine and cigarette butts, I put them in a bag and put them in a corner tomorrow to take out. Wipe up the spilled wine on the floor, and wash the dishes that " the person " laid out.

After finishing cleaning, I walk across the living room and take a blanket to cover my mother. For a simple reason, I don't want her to get a cold. Even with all the things she has done to me, I still care about her. Overall this woman is still my mother - the only family I have left.

Even though we are mother and son, we are no different from strangers. I am no different from the grass by the roadside compared to her. Or maybe I'm just a servant to her. I cook, clean, and do every house chorus. My mother will go to work and sometimes buy groceries. Or leave some money at home for me to buy and cook dinner for her. Other than that, all she does is abuse me or get drunk.

She hits me when she's drunk or mad. She scolds me for her bad day and blames me for everything miserable that happens to her. I've been with my mother for 13 years, anyway. I'm used to it.

There was one time she almost killed me. If I remember correctly, It was a day after Taiya's funeral. She bumped my head into the wall so hard that it makes me lose some memories. It makes me forget some memories about my twin sister and why she is not with me anymore. I'm not even surprised by that, to be honest.

My mother always loves Taiya more than me. I once asked her why she hates me so much. She answers me that because I look so much like my father. He's the man that betrayed and abandon her. In my entire lifetime, I have never seen him before. I don't know anything about that man because no one will tell me when I ask them. There is no picture of him in the house either.

Even so, she still cares about me sometimes. She still hugs me and helps me when I'm hurt. Sadly, that was the past and will forever be the past.

However, I don't hold any grudges. It's all on me too. What I did was wrong, and here are the consequences. Now all I can do is accept it. I was the one who ends this family. I killed Taiya and makes my mother has to suffer even more. I make myself grieve even more.

It's painful to say it, but I've lost almost everything. Shadow, Aliaa is the reason I'm still existing and haven't ended my life.

For others, family is the thing they cherish most and always want to keep. Yet, I ruined my family with my own hands. I lost my family, A bright smile, and A warm embrace from that mother. That's why I didn't complain about anything.

-I'm sorry, Mom.

Those words jumped out of my mouth. I know that the other person can't hear it. But this is my only chance to apologize to her. For years I ran away and hide. Escape from sin and suffering. So now I won't do that anymore.

-Sorry for everything. I know you're sleeping and won't be able to hear these words. And I know that even if you are listening to me or not, I know you will never forgive me. I don't expect that forgiveness either. Because I know it's impossible to forgive me. But, please take care of yourself for me. It hurt me to see you like this.

I take out the bracelet I bought and then put it next to my mother.

-Also, Happy birthday, Mom! I hope you have a great day with your friends. I bought a small cake for you. When you wake up, feel free to eat it without me.

I turned away and walked into the living room across from me. Sitting down on the sofa, I suddenly felt tears rolling down my cheeks again.

I cry, cry because I feel like my heart is tearing me apart. That guilt torments me every time I see someone I love has to suffer. Or maybe, I cry because I can't have a loving family and those beautiful memories like those kids my age can have.

Quickly wiping away those tears, I calmed down. Laying down on the sofa in the living room, I aim to lie down to rest. Tonight I won't run upstairs anymore, and I'll stay here. I want to be a bit closer to my mother today, Even though we're in a different room.

Also, when the clock strikes noon. I'll go to the river to apologize to Shadow. Although I'm not sure where he'll go to the river, I can't guarantee that he won't either. Either way, it's comfortable to go out. That fresh air will probably ease my worries.

-"Do you hate our mother, Arashi?"

The voice resounded in my mind. For some reason, I could feel the sadness from that statement.

-"Do you hate me Arashi? Hate me for always making you tired and miserable. I'm the cause of your bad luck anyway."

-"Be quiet for once, Taiya. I don't hate mom cause I know why she is like this. I don't know about you, but I don't hate you that much. Because even after that accident, I still cry in front of your grave."

-"... Hmm good to know."

...

The clock has struck midnight. The moon has risen high, shining its light on all things. Even though this place has sunk into the night, even though everyone is now sound asleep. The clock rang, waking me up from my dream. It has been a long time since the last time I sleep. I opened my eyes and sat up. Nevertheless, my eyes are heavy, making me want to close them again. I felt tired, but I still force myself to get up.

-Ugh, My head hurt. - I hold my head, grumbling. My mind is a mess, my head spins, so I can't stand straight. Maybe I spent too much energy today.

After a few minutes of trying, I finally got up. Gently walk to the door, avoiding making any sound that might wake my mother. I put on the casual jacket that Shadow gave me as a birthday present last year. I was always wondering where did he take the money from to buy this for me. Cause he is the one that always borrows my lunch money.

The coat is charcoal blue, and the arms are pure white. There are white and black stripes on the cuffs and collar, and on the right side, there is also a little white pocket. It is also quite warm and comfortable to wear. It's like the sports jackets of some famous boys or the football team that my school wears. Looking at it, it's nothing too special. But that was until I looked at the back of the jacket. Behind there was a dragon that looked like some thug's tattoos. And that's what makes me a little apprehensive about wearing it. I once wore it out, and then people shunned me because they thought I was a criminal. I asked him why he bought me a shirt in this color. He said it matches my name. Arashi also means Storm. But I think he bought it because it only comes in this color. The reason is that he made it up.

But even so, I like this jacket very much, that's why I always wear it when I leave home to buy groceries (Even when everyone is looking at me) or go out to see him. Because at the time, I was worried that if my mother was at home and she was drunk, the shirt would fall apart.

It's midnight now, and it's getting chilly. I could see the mist through the door pane as well as the leaves rustling in the wind.

I don't want to catch a cold before Shadow's birthday tomorrow. The plan that Aliaa and I prepared was already perfect. It would be a waste if I ruined it.

-"Are you sure you want to go?" - Taiya asks me while I tie my shoelaces. " You should rest more, Arashi."

-"Since when did you start worrying about me?" - I ridicule. "It's okay, Taiya. Going out for a little bit won't hurt."

Just before I could open the door and step out, I heard footsteps behind me.

-Where are you going? -That familiar yet strange voice came from behind me. I froze, wondering how long it had been since I had heard that voice.

-M-mom - As I turn around, I stepped back and immediately became alert. My hand grabbed the doorknob, prepared to turn it and run away if my mom tried to hit me.

In front of me right now is that mother, whom I had avoided for half a year. I widened my eyes in surprise. Her figure was completely different from what I remember.

I don't care if you say I'm careless or heartless for what I did to my mother. But for a 13-year-old like me, it was only natural to avoid her. None of us ever wanted to get hurt.

Now, She looks so different. Anyhow, she looks so pathetic. On her shoulders was the blanket I had covered, and the clothes she was wearing were in disarray.

Her long white silver hair as the beautiful moonlight is gone. She dyed it jet black. The black color has faded now, and It makes her hair looks messy. There were dark circles under her eyes due to white wakes. Her skin is white, and she is also thinner.

The harmful effect of drinking alcohol, using too much tobacco, and refusing to eat enough has changed her.

Seeing her like that made my heart clench a little.

-Answer my question! Where are you going? - She raised her voice against me. I could feel the anger in the word. When she approached me, I stepped back immediately. My heart was beating fast. I can feel and hear my unusual heartbeat.

That fear also made it a little difficult for me to breathe. That obsession made the atmosphere heavy. It makes me think of old memories of when I was just a helpless kid screaming and begging in pain. I begin to gasp. My hands are shaking, then start letting go of the doorknob.

-Arashi! - Seeing her raise her arm reached me, I involuntarily raised my hand to cover my face, closed my eyes, and turn away in fear.

I don't want to get injured anymore. Even if I have to run away forever, I don't want to suffer anymore. At least for today, I don't want to bandage myself and get hurt again. So, please.

-Please, Don't hit me.- Those words came out of my mouth unconsciously. At that time, my mind was too panicked, until I realized what I just said. I was terrified. Fear that the other person will come and hit me.

But even so, I haven't noticed her go any further. There hasn't been a single sound since I uttered those words. I began to calm down and lower my arms. I opened my eyes and looked at her, hoping that no bottle of wine would hit my head. My eyes widened in surprise at the moment I saw her.

Two tears rolled down her white skin. She withdrew her hand, looked at me with a frightened expression, and stepped back. She looked like she was scared and remorseful.

Only then did I realize that the bracelet I had bought for her was on her wrist. Did I misunderstand my mother? I thought she was going to hit me.

-Mom, I-

-No. Don't say anything. I can't stand it. - My throat tightened after hearing that. Right now, I don't know what to do.

-"Calm down, Arashi. You know, this is the perfect opportunity for you to say sorry."

-Mom, please. Listen to me. - I took a deep breath and regained my composure. I approached her and hugged her tightly. Even if she tried to push me away, I held on tight. Feel her warmth, the warmth that I have long since forgotten.

I thought she was going to get irate and push me away. But she didn't do that nor try to move. She just looked down at me in wonder.

-I'm sorry. I'm sorry for scaring you, sorry for everything. I know that you won't forgive me that easily. And It's okay, take your time. - I upped my head and looked at her.

Now she was no longer trembling. I can feel her normal heartbeat. I wipe away the tears on her face and walk backward. It looks like she's fine now. So I will take my leave.

-I still have a lot to say to you. But most of them I've already told you about when we're in the kitchen. And it seems like you did listen to me, didn't you? That's why you're wearing the bracelet I brought for you. But now, I have to go out for a while. It's getting late, so take some sleep. - It looks like she's fine now. So I will take my leave.

As I turn around and walk to the door, I can feel something pulling me back. Turning my head to look, I could see my mother pulling my shirt back. I stopped, looked at her, and waited for an answer to what she was doing. I didn't want to take her hand off my coat because I felt a little guilty doing so.

-Why? - She said, her hand still clutching my shirt.

-Why do you care so much about me?- She looked at me with those bright blue eyes. Her eyes reminded me of the beautiful ocean.

She let go of my shirt. Then she stepped back a little, looking at me with steady eyes. I can see Her hands clenched. It likes she is afraid of me or perhaps afraid of my answer.

For some reason, I was somewhat relieved to hear that question from her. At first, I thought they wouldn't let me out, or maybe worse. But it turns out she asked why I cared about her. I smiled in relief and looked up at her. I could see that she was startled to see me smile. I took her hand, waited until she calmed down a bit, then let go.

-Why? It's because you're my mother. Anyways, Happy Birthday again, Mom. - Then I opened the door and left away.

...

-"Are you cold?" - My inner voice asks me again. I laugh a bit because Taiya never seems to care about my health like this.

-"I'm good, Taiya." - I reassured her.

Walking on the familiar road, I walked alone in the lane. Now there's not a single person outside, and there's no traffic passing by. My neighborhood is usually pretty reserved, so this is pretty normal. Nevertheless, it's late at night now. Everyone is already asleep.

The light and the moonlight cast my obscuration on the grass by the roadside, making the fog a bit more visible. The mist looks like clouds in the mysterious night sky. The breeze blew gently through my hair, bringing in the fresh air and the scent of flowers and plants. Make the rustling sound of tree branches.

Before, If anything that happened during the day made me stressed out or upset, the things always help me erase them. It's the time when I take a walk at night. Each breeze that blows through is like taking away the pressures that I have during the day.

I usually keep my emotions down. That's not very good either. The more I held back, the more uncomfortable I became and gradually speaking made me easy to lose control. But now I don't get angry so easily anymore. Because every day I can always share my feelings with my friends. And because of the short amount of time each night when I go for a walk to the riverside.

Finally, I got there. As I assumed, Shadow wasn't there. Maybe he's still mad at me. I sighed but decided to stay.

Shadow's house is right next to the riverside. I'll stay a little bit until I can be sure that I won't see the boy with the striking blue hair running down.

I sat on the green grass and looked down at the water. The river is so shiny now. It reflects the beautiful light of that moon, as well as the twinkling stars in the sky. The silence that this place brings also adds to the beauty of the scenery here. Is this city only so beautiful when night falls?

Suddenly, I heard a guitar. The sound is soft and not too loud, Soothing and relaxing melody.

-"How lovely. "- I thought to myself. I looked around but didn't see anyone. Then I looked up at the window of that familiar house.

I have seen him. That blue hair is unmistakable. He was playing by the window, and he seemed to be very focused on it. I looked at him for a moment and then smiled involuntarily. I didn't expect him to play the guitar, and he's also very good at it.

-You seem to be okay, don't you? - I smiled and walked home. I'm tired now. Maybe I should go home and rest. Tomorrow will be an important day.

END Chapter 11

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Me: Hello! I'm back with another chapter ^^

It has been more than a month since my last chapter and I'm very sorry for my laziness :D. I'm busy too. I have so many classes while having summer break-

I did try to make this a bit longer than usual (It's more than 3000 words). Also, I will be "editing" back every chapter when I'm free. I'm not sure if that counts as editing since I'm only fixing some mistakes. The plot is still the same :)

Btw, Four days ago, there was something crazy happened to me. I was having a nightmare the other night and in my nightmare, I was getting choked by a girl I didn't even know. When I almost passed out, I woke up. And the thing that surprised me the most is I was the one choking myself according to what I saw. The next morning my neck hurt as hell lol, but I'm okay. 

It's crazy, right? How that happens makes me scared a bit. I didn't even know how that happened to me but I'm all right now :)

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I tried to write while studying lol, Please Forgive me. I'm going to make this a bit longer than my first plan (End it at chapter 10 but now Idk). 

So, stay with me;v;

Also, I want you to see this. My Bff - Aliaa drew the main trio (THANK YOU ALIAA!!) Please, enjoy her piece of art with me :D

1. Arashi (Hoteru) 

2. Aliaa

3. Shadow 

Aliaa's Wattpad:     

Pinterest: @aliaarumy

There are so good! TwT Thank you again, Aliaa!

Have a wonderful day/afternoon/night! ^^

Take Care, everyone, :D