Arashi POV

I open my eyes, waking up, following the nightmare that I just had. The first thing my eyes land on is the ceiling of my room and I don't even wonder why anymore, it's just the same thing every time.

"I guess I fell asleep on the floor again..." - I sighed

I try to pick myself up from the floor and take a look around my room but somehow everything seems blurry. My eyes hurt too, so maybe I was crying earlier.

The room is so dark that I barely see. It takes time but my eyes gradually adjust to the darkness and I regain my ability to see. Not very clear but still...

"Everything is covered by darkness. I wonder what time it is... Midnight maybe?"

Looking up at the clock, I realize it's 2:45 AM right now. No wonder why it is so dark. No wonder why I felt a little bit scared.

Suddenly I felt slight discomfort and pain in my wrist. I gently bring forward my arm, closer to my face to have a better look at it. All I see is a ton of cuts. Some of them are new, they're still bleeding. I'm not even surprised by this anymore. It happens all the time, I'll be waking up just to find out my wrist has some new cuts. And how can I be surprised? I'm the one who does this to myself. I'm the one who hurt myself.

I walk around the room to find some bandages. Just for the sole purpose of it to stop bleeding, nothing can heal this anyway. If I keep cutting then bandaging them then what's the point of healing?

After bandaging those cuts, I tread carefully to the window. I don't want to make any noise, I don't want to get in trouble with my mother. I'm sure I will get beaten up if I wake her up. I mean I can't take care of all the damage on my own.

Sitting down near the window, I look up. Staring at the sky, I try to get comfortable. The sky tonight is really beautiful. Stars glittered in the sky, shining a soft glow behind the clouds. Clouds drifted across the black, mysterious sky, masking the fanciful light of the moon. Everything is so peaceful and I like it very much. The breeze blew gently, carrying the scent of the plants. I looked around and unintentionally smiled.

"What a lovely night"-  I think. It's been a long time since I've seen the pretty night sky and it makes me feel so calm and peaceful. It's been a while since I felt this relaxing, It's been a while since I had a smile on my face. It's so relaxing here besides the window, I think I can finally rest, or at least for now...

Honestly, I have had enough of everything, all of this is too much for me to handle. Right now, My whole body feels numb, I don't think I can move. I am so tired but I don't want to go to sleep. Or more correctly, I can't go to sleep. It scares me... The endless darkness scares me. It terrifies me when I close my eyes and then I can't see anything anymore. I hate that I can't see any light, I hate that everything is covered in black. However, I have nightmares too, so it's acceptable for me to not go to sleep right?

I rarely go to sleep. Most of the time, I go to sleep when I'm too tired, have too many injuries, or have been beaten up till I bled out. I'm pretty sure the reason why I was sleeping on the floor earlier is that I was exhausted and impotent. My mom beat me up, and trying to escape, I ran upstairs to my room and then started to cut. That explains why my eyes hurt when I just woke up and how I ended up sleeping on my bedroom floor.

It is funny, right? How my life is... Every day, my life is a living hell. I know more people suffer even more than me but... I can't take it anymore...

Tears run down my face, I start to cry. Those tears won't stop running down. Doesn't matter how much I tried to wipe them away, It continued. What's wrong with me?

" Why are you crying again?" - said the voice in my head

"..... Shut up..." - I answer

"You did this, you cut your wrist, You made your life a living hell. You're the one to blame here. "

" .... I know. Now shut the f up" - I groaned. This voice is so annoying. It always makes things worse. But who can I blame here? I'm the one who "makes'' her.

I took a deep breath and calmed down, I sighed. Reaching for my headphones nearby, I put them on and start playing the music. This usually helps me too, so maybe I'll feel better.

"I think too much. I really need to stop. Guess I'll stay up tonight..."

__________ _________ __________ ( I'm So Bad at this;-; )

After a few hours of rest, I still have to leave this place and go to school. "Why can't I just stay here forever?" Well, I used to always ask myself that question until I got used to it.

The sun rises from the distance, dispelling the darkness of the night. Its light is enveloping, bringing warmth back to this place. Not gonna lie, this is pretty cool. Even when it's morning, it's still very peaceful. Wish it was always that peaceful. Taking off my earphones, I go to the bathroom so I can change my clothes and do my hygiene and get ready for "hell".

---- A few minutes later ---- 

- Dude hurry up! Do you want me to 'die' because of waiting?

As I'm carefully putting my books in my backpack and check that nothing is missing, I can hear my STUPID FRIEND shouting from outside. I'm surprised they didn't bring him to the police. 

-"Gosh, he is annoying" - I said to myself

- ARASHI!!!! Imma get in if you don't come out now! 

- It's ILLEGAL to come into my house without my permission! Can you just wait for me for a little bit! You freaking dumbass!  - I shout back. 

I put on my backpack and slowly walk downstairs. Don't know how I am friends with this noisy person like seriously I like SILENCE and he is so loud. All I know is he is one of my very best friends, the one I trusted the most...

END Chapter 1

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Ummm... Hi? ;v;? Call me Shadow and don't ask why my name is in the story. 

Thank you for reading my story. This is my first English story so there might be some mistakes here and there. It's hard to write a story in another language, so pls forgive me;v; ( I did use google translate not going to lie;v; )

Also, Thank you very much for editing my story ^^