Context: This a crossover one shot between Hetalia and South Path. Hetalia is an anime where all the countries of earth have immortal human representations. And this fic is just my interpretation of what would happen if the two casts met.

Warning: this fic contains Cartman being offensive, like usual, but especially to Jews here. You have been warned! Also, this story is not really about Style.

Still here? Alright, read on!

Xxx

"Ow dude, fuck. My head," muttered Stan as he slowly sat up. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a couple times, the lights in the room were bright to the point of being painful. He then turned to stare suspiciously at the people who were warily watching him from around a massive mahogany table. There seemed to be around 200 hundred people sitting around the enormous, smooth table, which Stan was currently sat atop. He saw Kyle and some of the other guys still out cold next to him. Stan immediately shook his super best friend awake.

"What, dude, where are we? And who the fuck are these people!" yelled Kyle indignantly. A overly excited looking man crawled up onto the table, and started squeezing the life out of the two boys. "Ow, dude, get the fuck off me!" demanded Kyle.

"Stranger danger!" added Stan. Cartman and Kenny were now also awake, and looked equally as confused.

"Why is a strange blonde man hugging the fag and the Jew?" questioned Cartman.

"Alfred! Leave them alone!" yelled an Englishman, who sat next to the empty chair the blonde man had migrated from.

"Iggy! You did it! You sent my children to me!"

"The French guy's name is Iggy?" asked Stan, still very much confused, and sore from the elongated hug.

"My name is not Iggy; it's Arthur! And did you just associate me with the frog?!"

"Are you insinuating that that unfashionable man is from my country?!" asked a man with glossy, long, blonde hair, who looked like he was about to faint from disgust.

"That British guy has a really weird sense of fashion," commented Kyle, looking straight at the Frenchman.

"I'm not British, I'm French!" The man yelled back.

"Whatever dude," replied Kyle.

The man hugging them was laughing hysterically. "Oh man, you guys are awesome."

"I'm sorry, but who are you? And can you please put us down?"

"Oh yeah! Sure thing dudes," he said, dropping them. "My name is America! Or the great US of A!"

"You guys, I think he's high," whisper yelled Cartman

"Aw, you evil little bean you! You may be evil, but I still love you," said America, placing Stan and Kyle down, and walking over to squish Cartman's cheeks.

"Yeah, he's definitely high," agreed Stan.

Just then, Kyle started yelling out in pain.

"Dude, what's wrong?" asked Stan concerned.

"I, Ow! I don't know! Some kind of ghost is attacking me!"

"Oh yeah, that's just Canada," dismissed America.

"Why can't we see him?"

"Oh, you can. You just have to really focus, and think of maple syrup." Soon, all four boys could visualise a very angry looking man, and hear his screams.

"A million of my people are dead because of you!" yelled Canada as he attacked Kyle.

America dragged Kyle out of his brother's reach. "Dude, he didn't mean to."

"He didn't mean too! His own mother attacked my country! Terrance and Philip almost permanently died! A million of my people are dead! But it's fine, because he didn't mean it!"

"Dude, it's not my fault that Terrance and Philip make up most of your GDP," stated America, Canada just screamed and reached out for Kyle again. America grabbed Kyle, and ran around the table keeping the ginger away from him.

"Haha, dude, did you see his beady eyes and flappy head? Do you think we can get him to say, 'about?'" Stan asked his friends.

"I hate all of you!" yelled Canada at Stan, while still chasing America and Kyle, as Kyle tried to yell apologies at the enraged Canadian.

England was pinching his nose between his fingers, and Stan looked over curiously. "This was the shittiest idea ever," he groaned.

"Come on mon ami, don't be such a downer," cooed France. "Amerique and Canada are having fun!" said France, motioning at the enraged Canadian, who was still murderously chasing his brother across the table.

"No, it was a shit idea. I haven't see anything so shitty since that ridiculous movie about penguins that America made. What was it called? Mr Poppers Penguins?"

Stan's face lit up. "Dude! You thought that movie was shit too!" he asked ecstatically.

"Yes, just like most things America creates," he said bluntly.

"Wait, so you're a cynical asshole as well?" questioned Stan, excited to meet someone else just like him. England looked outraged. France was laughing his head off.

"No! I'm just British!"

"Wait, that place Pip came from?"

"I fucking hated Pip."

"Dude, me too!" Stan yelled as he half ran over the Brit. The two of them started conversing happily. France just looked confused.

England then yelled over at America, "I'm adopting Stan! He's British now!" England then said to Stan, "His horrid optimism won't hurt you anymore."

"What! Dude, No!" America yelled back.

"Suck it America! I am so! Kyle, I'm moving to Britain, or at least going on vacation there. And you're coming too!"

"K!" Kyle yelled back, unfazed.

"England! Stop stealing my children!" yelled America.

It was at this point that Germany's patience bar had run dry. "Alright! Everybody shut up!" America, Canada and Kyle looked over Germany. The two brothers had been hugging Kyle, and arguing over who loved him more. Canada having decided that Kyle was too much of a pure bean to hate, and now blaming Mr Garrison/Trump for the nuclear bombing of his country.

"Ugh, who's this asshole? Fricken Denmark?" asked Cartman sarcastically, clearly still not believing that the people sitting around him were in fact immortal representations of their countries. Denmark looked offended by his comment. Germany more so.

"No, I'm Germany," he said angrily.

"Wait! If you're Germany, then you knew Hitler! Oh my God! I am such a big fan! So, tell me, now that the third reich has been defeated, how are we going to take out the Jews?"

"What?!" said Germany, clearly appalled. Cartman sighed.

"Shut the fuck up Cartman!" yelled Kyle, as the American brothers hugged him protectively.

"I take it back; I still hate him," stated America.

Completely ignoring America and Kyle, Cartman continued, "How are we going to take out the fucking Jew rats?"

"We're not going to do that! The holocaust is a horrible scar of my past!" yelled Germany, clearly about to attack Cartman.

"Not you too!" yelled Cartman. "What's a guy got to do to find a proper Nazi these days," grumbled the fat boy.

"What the hell is wrong with that fat little child?" asked France.

"Aye! Shut up limey!"

"I'm not British!" yelled France, and got up onto the table to start attacking Cartman.

England was staring at the scene in shock. "France is actually winning a fight," he said in disbelief.

"Cartman isn't that hard to take down, at least physically," Stan told him. The boy was sitting in England's lap by this point, and the two of them seemed to be practically best friends.

"He's quite a manipulative little chap, isn't he?" asked England.

"Yeah dude, but you're are too. You guys almost managed to invade us that one time."

England chuckled. "That was fun."

"Fun?! Didn't your Queen commit suicide?"

England laughed harder at that. "She's immortal; she was fine after a couple hours."

"Immortal?" mumbled Kenny from where he was with Japan, avidly discussing hentai.

"Yeah, she made a deal with Cthulhu I think," England responded casually.

"Cthulhu!" said Kenny excitedly.

"Yeah, Norway and Romania helped me summon him."

"Can you do it again?" asked Kenny.

"Yeah, it's not that tricky a spell, but Romania isn't here today. He was too busy fighting some vampires. He'll be here tomorrow, and I can summon you again then." Kenny nodded excitedly in reply, and England smiled.

France was now sitting back beside England, having successfully knocked Cartman out. "Why are you so much nicer to children than adults?" he asked wearily. "Are you a child molester?" England glared at him.

"I think you'll find the child molester is you! And I am not nicer to children than am to adults! I'm nice to everyone!" France gave him a very unconvinced look.

"Hey dude, what's that?" asked Stan, pointing at flying mint bunny.

"You can see him?" asked England, confused.

"Yeah!"

"I didn't think anyone in America could see mythical creatures."

"Well, I've seen a lot of weird shit," replied Stan. Similarly, Kyle was petting America's unicorn.

"Kyle, dude, what are you doing?" asked America.

"Petting your unicorn," answered Kyle, like that was obvious. "It must have the ability to leave Imaginationland."

"Imaginationland?" questioned France wearily, sounding very tired at this point.

"Wait, you mean it actually exists?!" said America in disbelief.

"Yeah dude. Can't you see it?"

"No! I thought England was crazy!" England glared at him from his chair.

"You thought Norway, Romania, Russia and I were all crazy, and saw exactly the same hallucinations?"

"Yep," replied America confidently.

"But you believe Stan and Kyle?"

"I would trust Stan and Kyle with my life."

"But not me!"

"Sorry dude, you're too old. Old people get confused."

"I'll show you old," grumbled England getting up onto the table, and storming over to America, carrying Stan with him.

Cartman and Russia were busy conversing in the corner of the room. Seemingly, evil attracts evil. However, the two of them walked back to the main group, looking very annoyed with one another.

"Kahl! Explain to everyone that I'm more evil than this fucker."

"He once murdered this guy's parents, and then fed them to him in a curry without his knowledge."

"And then he made the guy's favourite band make fun of him," added Stan. All the nations apart from Canada, England, America and Japan looked shocked.

"Hmm, that is pretty evil," said Russia thoughtfully. "But I recently had an old spy of mine and his daughter attacked with a nerve agent, just to annoy England."

"So it was you!" yelled the Brit.

"They didn't die? Lame." Russia looked ticked off at this point.

"They could have died! My president has people he doesn't like killed off all the time!"

"Dude, this is the perfect way to find out Russian secrets. Why didn't we think of this earlier?" whispered America to England and Canada.

Kyle, catching on to his nation's idea, said, "Cartman had Cthulhu kill countless hippies, and Justin Bieber, and he sent me and my friends to Purgatory."

"I wouldn't really say killing Justin Bieber was a bad thing," muttered England.

"Iggy!" America yelled at him.

"I did basically the same thing during the Cold War," dismissed Russia.

"He managed to make his psychologist's wife commit suicide, after around just a minute looking on his phone, just because his psychologist called him fat," stated Stan.

"Have you guys heard of Ivan the Terrible? Or Stalin?" was Russia's reply.

"I think we're at a stale mate," decided England, who was still holding Stan, while sitting on top of the table, next to America.

"That's not a good thing. Cartman doesn't like losing," said Kyle, who was also still being held by America. Canada was sitting next to them on America's other side.

America laughed, "Russia does! Cold War bitches!"

"I control your president," said Russia. That shut America up.

"Why didn't you three and Japan seem phased by that insane child's actions?" questioned France.

England sighed, "They're practically all America talks about sometimes."

"Wait, dude, how do you know so much about us?" asked Stan, sounding suspicious.

"He watches you guys on drones when he's meant to be working," said England.

"Hey! I do it when I'm finished work!"

"I thought we got rid of all the drones," said Kyle, sounding confused.

"Not the invisible government ones!" chimed America.

England pinched his nose again. "We've also had run ins with them before. Remember that time with the alien money, when we were all in touch with Stan's dad?"

"That imbecile was his father?!" asked France.

"Unfortunately," replied Stan.

"Dude, that was not our finest hour," reminisced America.

England shrugged. "I got some nuclear power plants out of it."

"Iggy! We got shunned from the space community!"

"We managed so far without them. They'll come back soon."

"Yeah, when we're all dead because we didn't have access to the alien tech that would stop global warming!"

"I thought I was meant to be the pessimistic one." America turned away from him and started pouting. Kyle and Stan giggled.

"Have they been part of anything else that involved the international community?" asked Italy excitedly, he seemed very invested by the story of the four boys.

"Well, there was the time they stopped the Guinea Pigs killing us all," said America thoughtfully.

"That was you guys too?" asked Spain, sounding impressed. "You guys get around."

"That wasn't really us, that was Craig, and he didn't really mean to stop the Guinea Pigs," explained Stan.

"Oh my God! I love Craig!" squealed America. "England! You have to summon him! And Tweek! You have to summon Creek!"

"No! I was already only meant to summon Kyle, so that you and Canada could start getting along again! I'm not a vending machine!"

"Iggy, plllleeeaasssee? I wanna meet Craig, and you can't summon Craig without Tweek. Craig would cry." Stan and Kyle gave each other a look, like they were questioning that statement in its entirety.

Kenny and Japan were both still giggling in the corner, Kenny was mumbling something that sounded like, 'Style' and Japan was muttering back something about, 'USUK.'

"Come on England, I'd really like to meet Ike," added Canada.

England sighed. "Aren't we meant to be having a world meeting?" None of the nations gave any indication that they wanted to go back to that mess. England glared at them all, and, defeated, waved his wand. Another three children appeared on the table.

Craig was the first to get up, and immediately gave everyone the finger. He then glared over at Stan and Kyle.

"What have you guys done now?" he accused them.

"Dude, we haven't done anything!" said Stan from England's lap. Tweek sat up at that moment.

"Ah! Where are we?! Why am I on a table?! Who are these people?! Why are they all staring at us?! Are they child molesters?! Oh God! This is like way too much pressure!"

"Tweek, babe, calm down." America let out a squeal, he was practically hyperventilating.

"Calm down! We get summoned to some crazy place, and you're telling me to calm down!" Faced by an angry boyfriend, Craig decided that being annoyed with Stan and Kyle was the best course of action.

"This is totally your fault. Otherwise, why would you guys have been here already when we arrived?"

"Okay, we maybe mentioned your name, but England summoned you," said Stan.

"England? That place where Chistophe came from?"

"Chistophe was French!" yelled France from his chair.

"Whatever. Why are you sitting on random people's laps? We got taught stranger danger you retards."

"Dude, we did follow the stranger danger procedure," said Kyle from America's lap. "But then we decided these people were okay."

"These people you've known for how long?"

"Like at least ten minutes! Plus, this is our country Craig; it's America!"

"Yo," said the blonde man, who seemed to be struggling to contain himself.

Craig looked very unimpressed. "They've drugged you, haven't they?" At this point, America lost control, he placed Kyle down gently, and ran over to grab Craig. He started squeezing the poor boy and spinning him around.

"Oh my God! He is so much more cute in really life!"

"What the fuck is wrong with you! Put me down!" said Craig, struggling to get free.

"Hey! Leave Craig alone!" yelled Tweek, and started kicking America's legs.

"Aw, I forgot about you for a sec Tweekers!" America now had both of them firmly in his arms. "Guys look! I have both of my gay children!" Said gay children were both fighting hard to leave. The other nations looked mildly worried.

"I thought you said they weren't actually gay?" questioned Canada, who was happily hugging Ike.

"They are! They just don't know it yet!" said America defensively.

"Like you and Angleterre?" asked France.

"Shut up frog!" yelled England as a response.

"Okay, what is with you people! Are you stalkers or something? And put Tweek and me down!"

"Pretty much, the fat man who's caught you watches us on drones," said Cartman.

"Hey! I am not fat!" yelled America, placing down Tweek and Craig and walking over to Cartman.

Kyle seemed to remember something at this point. "Oh yeah! You guys need to start working on world war three!"

"What?" said Germany, looking confused.

"Oh God yeah!" said Stan, catching onto what Kyle meant. "Otherwise, earth is going to get cancelled!"

England looked at him, concerned. "Stan, what are you on about?"

"Dude, we were on this space ship, and these aliens were about to destroy earth, because they'd had enough of it as a show, but we managed to convince them to keep earth going, but we promised them another world war."

"America?" asked England. "What are they on about?"

"Dude, how should I know? My drones can't follow them to space," he said sadly.

"I would imagine Brexit and Trump are keeping them happily amused for now," said France smugly.

England was now busy hitting France with his stapler, and America was throwing Cartman at the Frenchman.

"Dude, are the countries of the world really as bad as our parents?" questioned Kyle.

"Hey! I am not as bad as Randy!" responded America.

After about a minute of stapler bashing, England looked pretty exhausted. "Dude, are you okay?" asked Stan.

"Yeah, sorry. I think I'm going to have to send you guys back in a minute. I misjudged my magic reserve.

"Aw man," said Stan.

"Dude, it's probably for the best. My Mom probably has the army looking for us by now," said Kyle.

"Dude, your Mom is terrifying," said America shivering.

"Feel free to come visit us anytime," said Stan.

"It would be better than the drone watching," added Kyle. America nodded guiltily.

With another wave of England's wand, the seven boys were gone.

"Alright, who votes that based on those psychotic children America should no longer be allowed to make important decisions?" said Germany. The nations all yelled in agreement. America grumbled at the decision, and the nations all went home.

Xxx

Hey guys~ thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed. If you haven't already, check out Hetalia. It is an awesome anime, but be careful. The fandom is pretty dead, but very hard to escape. Also, I thought I should mention I do not hate Russia. I love the character and the country, and I acknowledge that my own country, Britain, has done way worse than Russia (if you don't believe me check out the YouTube video 10 Most Evil Empires in History) It's just that the way this story ended up going there wasn't really a good point to explain that.

Anyways, leave a vote if you enjoyed this chapter, and I would love to here your thoughts on what would happen if Hetalia met South Park, so comment them! And have an awesome day guys~