ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS FANFICTION -- EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW -- ARE ENTIRELY FROM THE MIND OF A YAOI FANGIRL. ALL CHARATCERS ARE PORTRAYED.....POORLY. THE FOLLOWING ONESHOT CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE AND DUE TO ITS CONTENT IT SHOULD NOT BE READ BY ANYONE.

Hey guys~

Link to the fanart on the cover is here, probably, I tried, this is the best I can do.

https://www.zerochan.net/1278834

So, I got this idea from this awesome fic, url just below and you should definitely check it out if these kind of soulmate AUs are your thing. I just wanted to write a slightly goofier version.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5729431

Yes, colours is spelt with a 'u' fight me.

Second double warning - bad language and things that may offend people! You have been doubly warned!

Alright, without further ado please enjoy~

xxx

"Okay class as part of our study of soulmates we're going to take an online test to show how people who have found their soulmate and people who haven't really do see differently!" Said our teacher smiling at us. I groaned internally soulmates are so fucking stupid. "We're lucky enough to have a pair of soulmates here so you'll be able to clearly see the difference between those who have found their soulmate and those who have not!" Craig flipped her off, but she didn't notice and Tweek just yelled about the pressure, causing Craig to flip her off with both fingers.

I can quite clearly remember the day they met. It was the first day of nursery, Tweek suddenly started screaming about how everything looked different but Craig was as indifferent as ever, but decided to pat his back gently. The town hasn't shut up about it since.

"Okay class, I'll start by showing you a black and white movie and then a coloured film!" She said excitedly. Seriously? That's the first question? That's way too easy. After both clips had played we put up our hands. The class was evenly split, about fifty fifty. Seriously? Some people got it wrong? How stupid is this class sometimes? That was so obvious! The coloured movie has way more different shades!

"Okay next you have to tell me which is the colour orange. There will be four options. Three which are shades and one which is a colour.

I stared incredulously at the class as about seventy-five percent of them got it wrong. For Pete's sake. Orange is the same shade as my coat and Kenny's coat. The teacher continued with this test for a while smiling at us creepily. What's her problem? Does she get a kick out of this?

"Okay we're going to up the difficulty! Now there will be ten options!" Literally only Stan, Craig, Tweek and I were getting them right. I'm surrounded by idiots. The back of my mind, however, was starting to get a little freaked out.

"Are you all a bunch of morons!" I yelled at the class and pointed at the projector. "That shade is clearly green! All the others are grey! How dense are you!?" I'm really freaked out now. They're, they're just stupid, right? The whole class stared at me in shook. For some reason they kept looking between Stan and me, and me and Stan, with shooked looks on their faces. Craig turned to me.

"Kyle, it's not obvious. I wouldn't have been able tell before I met Tweek." I stared at him in horror.

"M-Me, me neither dude!" Tweek yelled from behind me. Now I was confused.

"Kyle," said Wendy tentatively, "when did you first meet Stan?" I looked at her in confusion.

"I dunno, when we were really young. Before we'd learned to talk anyway. Our Mom's were friends." I replied, still confused as to why she was asking.

Then it hit me like a train.

"No, nu uh, no fucking way. I'm not even gay!" I stared at Stan who was looking at me like his brain had just exploded.

Cartman was laughing hysterically at his desk. "This is way too sweet you guys. The fags, the hippie fag and the Jew, are actually fags."

"This is bullshit! I get told my whole life, that one day the world will look so much more awesome but I'm actually stuck with the terrible way it actually is?! What is the big hype! Do you guys just see the world like a black and white movie! Okay I guess that kinda would suck. But what is even the point of this?! How does this even benefit mankind? It must in some way otherwise we wouldn't have evolved like this! I guess it creates stronger couples. Why do I keep answering all my questions! Shit!" I finished and ran out the classroom.

I stood in the bathroom splashing water on my face. God, I made a scene. Still, given the circumstances, it's kind of understandable. I hear the bathroom door moan open as if it didn't want to deal with this either. Then awkward shuffle of feet. I already know it's Stan as I turn to look at him.

"H-Hey dude." He said looking and sounding like a nervous puppy.

"H-Hey, s-sorry for running out class." I said gingerly scratching my neck a little. "It's just... sorry dude. You know how I feel about soulmates right?" Stan smiled and chuckled a little at that have heard me rant about it many times. "It's just, people who haven't found a soulmate yet and go out in search of love, they find out that it's complicated and challenging. They grow and change as people and often that means they have to find new partners! How is it suddenly that with your soulmate everything is just perfect! All the time! I mean none of them ever break up! It's like the fucking universe controls you dude! I feel like I just don't have any control over my life!"

"Hey, hey dude calm down. We don't have to do anything at all. We can just stay as we are if that's what you want." Stan looked dejected now. Like a kicked puppy trying to put on a happy face.

"Stan, Stan what's wrong? Don't lie to me like that dude; you know it's not going to work." I said glaring at him like a hawk.

"It's just... dude do you not even want to try? Am I that unappealing?" God, I feel like a dunce! What kind of super best friend am I? Stan is more sensitive than a boiling pot and I should know that! "I just, my parents aren't soulmates. And they're unhappy. And I really want to get to know mine. And I'm just so happy it's you dude. That sounds so gay, but honestly no one else would really make sense. And I don't really see it as the universe controlling us, just a helpful wave of the hand. We're still in control. We can break it off whenever." I smiled, Stan usually knows just what to say. I cautiously grab his hand and he smiles back. Then slowly, we walk out the bathroom and down the hallway.

"I can't believe we never worked out we can already see in colour!" I complained feeling kind of stupid about it now.

"I guess as a society colours are just a touchy topic, still, this was like fanfic level convenience dude." That gets a little laugh out of me.

"You know, I'm still really frustrated. I thought one day I would met someone and the world would look so much cooler! Not that you're not amazing Stan, I wouldn't trade you for cooler colours. It just kinda sucks dude." Stan just laughed.

"Look on the bright side, you see a shit ton of colour Cartman doesn't." A smile immediately grew on my face, which felt like it would never come off.

Xxx

Thanks for reading, just wanted to do a south park take on soulmate AUs, and in true south park style (style - get it? It's like earlier when I wrote understandable and was so tempted to write underSTANdable) make fun of it. 

Anyways, hope you enjoyed! Please leave a vote if you did! Have a lovely day :)