"Fuck dude, it's 8 o'clock already," I told Stan.

"Don't swear in front of the baby!" said Stan.

"Shit dude! Sorry!"

"Dude, you did it again!"

"Damnit!"

"Kyle! Stop talking!" said Stan, and I started laughing. I looked over at the cradle. Stan had even managed to find a small mattress for it.

"Will he be warm enough in there?" I asked.

"I don't know, but he might suffocate himself if we give him a blanket," replied Stan.

"Good point."

"Did Ike need blankets?"

I thought for a moment. "No, I don't think so."

"Well, then he'll probably be fine. But maybe go ask your Mom."

"Good idea, do you want something to drink?"

"Tea please."

I smiled at him. "Dude, you always want tea."

"It's what I live off," he said sincerely. I left him with David as I went to find Mom and make drinks. I found her in the kitchen.

"Mom, will David be too cold without a blanket?" I asked.

My Mom smiled at me, clearly thinking she'd have to humour me. "The house is quite warm, so he should be okay Kyle. We did have some baby sleeping bags for Ike though."

"No, I think we'll be fine," I said as I made myself some hot cocoa and Stan some tea.

"Do you two want dinner now?" asked my Mom.

"Yes please! Can I take it upstairs though?"

"Alright, just because you're busy being such good parents!" she replied, helping me upstairs with the drinks and food. "You two get to sleep at a suitable time!"

"We will Mom!" I said as she left my room.

"Dude, I'm so tired," said Stan, as he sipped his tea, and ate his carrots.

"Same."

"Can we just sleep now?"

"It is literally only half eight, but yes, once we've finished eating." The two of us kept an eye on David as he played in the baby gym, fascinated by his own reflection in a little mirror. Once we'd finished our meals, I picked up David and placed him gently into his new cradle.

The two of us quickly got changed into our pyjamas, Stan in the spare ones he always had at my house. I got changed into my new Terrance and Phillip free pyjamas; those old ones could go burn in hell. We then clambered exhausted into my bed.

It didn't seem like I'd been asleep for more than half a second before David started crying.

Stan moaned beside me, "Dude, what do we do?"

"I don't know, you're meant to leave them. But he sounds so sad. And he'd so loud," I complained.

Stan looked at his phone which had been on my bedside table. "It's one o'clock in the mother fluffing morning," he said, managing to censor himself.

"Let's just leave him," I decided. However, David refused to shut the fuck up.

"Can you please get him to be quiet?" moaned Stan.

"But if I do that he's won. Plus, what if that starts a precedent?"

"I don't give a flying fudge. I'm going to start crying in a second." Reluctantly, I picked David up, and bounced him up and down for a while, shushing him. Once he was quiet, I placed him gently back into the cradle. I crawled back into bed. Stan surprised me by wrapping his arms around me, and I smiled as I fell back to sleep.

Unfortunately, that only lasted for about three hours, until David started crying again.

"He's lucky he's cute or I would murder him," said Stan.

"Stan! Don't even joke about that! Besides, we should just be glad he's not a newborn. They cry a lot more. David's just getting used to a new environment," I said as I climbed out of bed to soothe him again. David smelled awful again, so with eyes painful from being opened I took him into the bathroom to change him.

"You're truly the best," said Stan sleepily when I climbed back in next to him.

"First thing tomorrow, you're learning to pick him up," I said as I snuggled into him.

The next thing to wake the two of us up was thankfully my alarm clock. David starting screaming because of the sound. I opened the curtains, then hopped out of bed to soothe him, while Stan turned off the alarm clock.

I walked carefully back over to the bed with David and sat down next to Stan.

"Okay dude, listen carefully. You put one hand on his head, one hand under his butt, and then hug his chest into your own."

Stan nodded at me. I placed David gently on the bed so that Stan could pick him up. When Stan didn't move after a while I asked him what was wrong.

"What if I do it wrong and I hurt him?" he said uncertainly.

"You can do it, Stan, just go slow. I'll be right here to catch him," I said encouragingly. Slowly, Stan picked up David, holding him just as I'd said. Soon, he was hugging him into his chest, and David was smiling up at him.

"Dude! I did it!" said Stan, not taking his eyes off David.

I smiled at him. "Well done dude! Do you think you can carry him downstairs?" Stan nodded at me, so once we'd got changed, fed David, and packed the baby supplies we might need for the day into our bags, we headed downstairs.

Ike looked after David as the two of us ate breakfast.

"The two of you are so precious looking after 'David' over there!" said my Mom happily. I looked over at my Dad.

"Dad, will you look at David for a second, like really look at him, and tell me honestly that he isn't a real baby!"

My Dad didn't even look up from his newspaper. "Look who's trying to become a jokester; I didn't know you had it in you Kyle. No one in their right mind would give fourth graders a baby. Where would anyone even get them?" I just glared at my food. Stan patted my shoulder comfortingly. "Still, has realistic screaming built it, he woke me and your mother up a couple times. You know not to pick him up, right Kyle?"

"But he sounded so sad!" defended Stan.

"You've got to leave him to cry Stan, it's called 'self-soothing'" said my Dad. I nodded and made a mental note.

"Oh, Bubby! I found the baby rucksack we had for Ike!" said Shelia.

"That would actually be really helpful Ma!" I said happily.

Once we were finished, Stan and I quickly got ready for school. Stan wore the baby backpack with David on his back, while I had my backpack on my back and Stan's backpack on my front. We then headed off to school.

At the bus stop, Kenny and Butters looked just as exhausted as me and Stan. Cartman, however, looked baby less and fine.

"Cartman! Where's Taco!" I accused, worried he was already dead.

"Will you quit PMSing Kyle? He's with Clyde."

"You guys aren't looking after him together?" asked Butters.

"No, that's gay. Case one, you and Kinny. Case two, Kahl and Stan."

I looked over at Kenny, who had his baby attached to his front with a makeshift sling which looked surprisingly secure. "What's your guys baby called?" asked Butters.

"David," responded Stan happily, I looked over at said baby, and he smiled at me.

"What's your baby's name?" I asked.

"Alotta," replied Butters.

"Oh, that's a nice name. I've never heard it before."

"Y-Yeah, me neither. But it is a nice name! Thanks, Kyle! Kenny came up with it. And her middle name is Fagina, after Kenny's great grandma." I heard Kenny trying to contain laughter next to me. Alotta Fagina...

"Kenny! You can't name a baby that way!" I yelled at him. Kenny collapsed into laughter.

"Now Kyle, that's not very nice. Kenny told me his great grandma died tragically, and that's why we have to honour her by naming the baby that way!" Stan and Cartman were also laughing at this point, and I didn't have the heart to explain the truth to Butters. Luckily, at this moment, the bus arrived. Stan took David out of the rucksack and held him on his lap on the way there. He wanted to look after David today, seeing as I'd done it yesterday, so I happily got some shut-eye on his shoulder on the way to school.

Once we were in class, most of the other parents looked just as exhausted as us. Token and Nichole's baby appeared to have a lot of expensive gadgets, Wendy and Bebe's baby looked very content and Tweek was holding his and Craig's baby with a surprising amount of care, he wasn't even slightly shaking! All of the babies thankfully seemed to be in perfect condition so far.

"Good morning children. I'm glad you seem to have managed with the babies. If you could tell us your baby's name, and a little about them." Butter's hand was up first.

"Our babies name is Alotta, and she enjoys being told stories about rainbows and ponies."

Craig went next, "Our baby's name is Stripe the 5th, and she likes crying and food," stated Craig in typical Craig fashion. Still, it did seem that they knew what they were doing.

Mr Garrison then pointed at Wendy, "Our baby's name is Millie, and she loves Bebe's hair and gurgling." Thankfully someone else names babies normally.

I was picked next. Stan hadn't put his hand up as he was diligently holding David. "Our baby's name is David, and he's very curious and loud," I decided to say.

Nichole and Token's baby was called George, and he liked exploring, and also cartoons. Taco predictably liked food. The rest of the class seemed to understand their babies in a similar fashion.

At break time, Stan, David and I, along with some of the other guys, were approached by Wendy, Bebe and Millie. Bebe happily joined the conversation about the babies, while Wendy dragged me off to one side.

"Kyle, we need to work out where these babies came from. We can't look after them by ourselves forever!"

I nodded gravely at her. "What do you suggest we do?"

"Well, that's the hard thing. We hardly have any time anymore. Millie has consumed my life. But if you can get some time free, research this! We need to work this out fast before one of these children get hurt!"

"Got it, I'll tell you if I work out anything tomorrow. Shouldn't we tell others about this as well? Get more people working on this?"

"No, I don't want Mr Garrison getting any word of this. He's unstable enough as it is," I agreed with that, it seemed as though the man was about to break.

"I can tell Stan though, right?"

"Of course!" she said with a smile. "And thanks Kyle, I knew I could count on you. Also, it looks like Stan and you are really good Dads," she said with a wink, before walking back to Bebe, Stan and the others. I followed with my cheeks slightly red. Dads?

"What was that about?" asked Stan in a low tone.

"I'll tell you later." Stan nodded.

Once we got back to my place, I explained Wendy's plan and asked Stan to look after David for a while, while I did some research.

I scoured the web for hours but to no avail. Googling reports for missing babies. Nothing came up, eventually, I joined Stan and started playing with him and David. We put David in the baby bouncer and let him bounce around for a while, as the two of us slumped exhausted against my bed. He giggled and gurgled as he happily bounced around.

"You know, you'll make a really good Dad someday," said Stan eventually. My cheeks went a little pink.

"Thanks, you too," I said sincerely. As I sat with my back against my bed, I couldn't help but think that I'd love it if Stan and I really did have a kid together someday. He's so great with David, and I've had a bit of a crush on him for a while. Maybe more than just a bit if I'm honest with myself.

It was soon time to sleep. As I drifted off, Stan had an arm around me, and I snuggled into him. He never used to hold onto me, maybe he just needs a little more comfort, now that we have David to deal with. But I couldn't help but hope a little bit that this meant Stan liked me as more than just a friend.

At about 2 am, David started crying. "Remember, we have to leave him alone," said Stan firmly. I nodded along, although his eyes were probably still closed like mine. David just kept crying and crying and crying. This time, it wasn't really annoying, as I didn't feel so tired. It was just painful.

"Stan, he sounds so sad," I said quietly.

"I know Kyle, but we've got to leave him be."

"But Stan-" Stan just wrapped his arms tighter around me and pulled me in closer to him.

"We've got to ignore him." I was too red to disagree, so I stayed where I was. Eventually, after about fifteen minutes of heart-wrenching screams, David was quiet, and I fell back to sleep.

The next day at school, I told Wendy about my non-existent findings. She hadn't learnt anything either, but we were determined to work it out. A week went by, and we still hadn't learnt anything. But one day, I struck gold. I found an orphanage where a baby matching Nichole and Token's baby's description was missing. I reported my findings to Wendy, and we switched tactics. The babies had all been stolen from different orphanages, and a lot had been done to cover up their disappearances.

Wendy and I decided to find out all the locations the babies had disappeared from before we tried to send any back, as we didn't want Mr Garrison to catch on to our plan. It took about a month in total, and we had to drag Craig in for help at one point, but, eventually, we knew where each and every baby had come from.

All the kids in our class were now having a meeting in Cartman's basement. It was quite late in the evening, or at least I'd come to think of it as late, it was 8 o'clock. Wendy had just finished explaining to everyone how we planned to return all the babies.

"But, what if don't want to send them back? What if Alotta doesn't like her orphanage? What if the other children are mean to her?" said Butters, sounding close to tears. Kenny put a comforting arm around him, Alotta was in their makeshift baby sling, as always. The thing was practically indestructible.

"Butters," said Wendy gently. "We can't keep looking after these babies forever."

"Sure we can! We've all managed up till now!" defended Butters.

"Yes, but think about this logically, what about when we're off at college? How will we still look after them then? Or when they grow and our parents finally realise they're not fake? My parents don't want another child," said Wendy, sounding close to tears herself. Bebe gave her a soothing hug. This must be so hard for everyone. "Look, we've all got one more night with them. When you get home, you have to call the number you've been given and tell the orphanage where to pick up your baby in the morning," finished Wendy. Everyone nodded and left the basement. Most people were practically in tears, apart from Cartman, who had basically just let Clyde look after Taco.

I carried David in the baby rucksack home with Stan, and only when we were in my room did I let myself start crying. Stan took David gently out of the rucksack and placed him slowly into his cradle. He then quickly handled the phone call. Finally, he came over to me and gave me a hug.

"Stan, I don't want to give him away," I said, sobbing onto his shoulder.

"I know, Kyle, I know. But we have to." I didn't respond. I just continued crying, as Stan hugged me close. When my waterworks had finally ended, the two of us got ready for bed, and I eventually managed to drift off to sleep. However, I was soon woken up by the soft sound of Stan crying.

"Stan, are you okay?" I asked his back quietly.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Go back to sleep Kyle," he said, trying to cover up his sniffling, refusing to turn around and look at me.

"Stan, it's okay, I'm upset too."

"I know, that's why I didn't want you to find out. You're dealing with enough."

"Stan, stop being ridiculous. We're dealing with the same thing here," I said, pulling at his pyjamas and forcing him to turn around and face me. I then pulled him into a hug.

"It really feels like he's our son, Kyle," he said softly, wiping his eyes with his pyjama's sleeves.

I felt my cheeks heat up. "S-Son?"

"Yeah, son. I wanna have a kid with you someday," stated Stan.

"Like in a friend way, or-"

"Obviously not in a friend way Kyle!" interrupted Stan. "In a romantic way!" he said, his own cheeks now a little green.

"You, like me romantically?"

"Yeah, I do." He paused. "I think raising David with you helped me realise that. You're such a great parent Kyle. You're so kind, caring and responsible. You're inspiring, and I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Thanks, Stan, you're an amazing parent too. You manage to stay level headed while I'm breaking down, and you're so determined to look after David. To keep him safe and happy. I don't know what I would have done without you. And I think I'd like to have a kid with you someday too," Stan smiled at me. "But just to be clear, you do know homosexual couples can't make babies, right?"

"Yes, of course I knew that! I meant adoption!" said Stan, sounding a little irritated.

"Just checking," I said, with a little laugh, and Stan grinned back.

"Let's get some sleep," whispered Stan, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek, and then wrapping his arms around me. I fell asleep into a deep and happy slumber.

We were woken up by the blaring sound of my alarm. It was 6 am, we'd wanted to ask the orphanage over early so that my Mom and Dad wouldn't get involved. There was an air of melancholy as we went around our usual morning procedure. Dressing and feeding David for the last time; I was even sad changing his diaper for the last time. The little guy just looked so happy throughout the morning, and it was breaking my heart. He didn't know what was about to happen. Stan carried David down the stairs, and we patiently waited for the dreaded knock on the door.

It was a strong and fast knock. I went to open the door while Stan held David. The woman who greeted me was bright and cheerful; she had a high blonde ponytail; she was wearing a crisp shirt, skirt and blazer and she had a large smile plastered on her face.

"What's your name little man?" she asked.

I glared at her. "I'm Kyle, and this is Stan," I said as I showed her into the living room.

"Hello! I'm Sarah! Is this where Ben has been for the last month?" asked the lady.

"His name, is David," was all Stan replied with, solemnly, with a slightly threatening tone to his voice.

"Oh! That's what you two boys have called him, how sweet! My, my, look how big he's gotten! Looks like he's been taken very good care of!" Stan just glared at the woman. I wanted to punch her, as illogical as that was. "May I take him now?" she asked.

"Can we say goodbye first?" I asked.

"Of course," said the woman, gently. Maybe she wasn't so bad.

"Goodbye David, you be a good boy now. I'll miss you," said Stan, tears dotting his eyes, giving him a last hug, before he handed him over to me.

I just hugged David tightly against me for a minute before reluctantly handing him over. Sarah gave us a smile and wave, and then she left. David was gone too. We were left alone in the living room.

At school, we were all baby less and depressed. "Children! Where are your babies?" asked Mr Garrison as he walked into class, sounding outraged and a little scared.

"We returned them back to their orphanages," I said.

"No, no! You can't have done that! I don't have a lesson plan anymore! I need a lesson plan!"

"Mr Garrison! You need to get back to work!" said Wendy who sounded tired, angry and depressed.

"No, no, I'm not going back to that God-forsaken job!"

"Yes, you are! I called the FBI; they're coming to get you!"

"They don't want me back either!"

"I know, I threatened them!" she yelled back.

At this point, men black burst through the door and dragged Mr Garrison away from the desk. "No, no, you can't make me go back! No!" he said as he was shoved out the room. Our class was left in silence. Baby less and miserable. Tired and deflated. In need of sleep, comfort and our beloved babies who we'd probably never see again.

~five years later~

"Kyle, are you sure we should do this?" asked Stan uncertainly, as we stood outside the orphanage David had been taken back to all those years ago.

"Yes, I'm sure. Stan, we've both missed him so much. I just want to see him."

"Kyle, he won't know who we are."

"Yes, I know that!" I said irritated; we'd had this argument countless times.

"Kyle, what if this does more harm than good-"

"Stan, I don't give a shit! We're here now!" I interrupted, dragging Stan into the building. We walked towards the front desk.

"Hello, how can I help you?" asked a friendly looking man with spectacles behind the front desk.

"Um, hi, um, we were wondering if we could meet a boy? His name is Ben. I think he should be about 6."

"Ben... I don't know we have a Ben here. Let me check the computer." There was a pause for a minute. "Oh! Do you mean David?"

"Yes! Yes, that's exactly who we mean!" I said excitedly.

"Are one of you a relative of his?" asked the man.

"Well, no, it's a little complicated; we took care of him for a month when he was a baby-"

"You're the two boys Sarah always tells me about! Look, we're not meant to arrange a meeting like this on the fly. Especially not to teenagers of no relation. But I'm sure we can make an exception here. What are your names?"

"I'm Kyle, and this is Stan," I said quickly.

"Nice to meet the two of you. I'm Liam," said the man as he brought us into a room filled with toys and children playing together happily.

"David! Stan and Kyle are here!" A little boy with adorable green eyes and fluffy black hair ran over to us.

"My magic Dads! They're really here?" he asked excitedly.

Liam smiled at us. "Sarah's always told him stories about you guys when he was upset," he told us in a hushed voice. "Yes David, this is Kyle, and this is Stan," he said, motioning to each of us.

"Of course, I know who's who," said David indignantly. "Kyle has red hair; Stan has black hair."

Liam led us to a separate room. "I'll let you guys catch up for a while," he said as he shut the door.

I smiled over at Stan, and then over at David. I felt complete for the first time in a long time.

Xxx

Hey guys~ Man, that was a super long chapter. But for once, I didn't want to spout fake news! This story stayed two parts! So, this is the end! Unless anyone wants to hear about Clyde and Taco's adventures or any of the other babies, I'm totally down for that, just say the word and it shall be done! 

Who was your favourite baby? Mine had to be David, but I loved them all!

Anyways, thanks for reading, leave a vote if you enjoyed this chapter, and have an awesome day guys~