It has been a few weeks since Elise and I had our first falling out of what I assume will be many more to come. Since that day of meeting her parents and realising that I don't measure up to their standards, I haven't been easy on myself, but I have done my best to overlook the pestering reminder that she and I live different lives. Instead of taking my frustration out on her and having her assure me and console me, I have kept my nose stuck in my books. We are approaching exam week and I don't want to be the one cram studying the week of exams. I don't work like that.

While balancing study sessions, work and my internship; I have been balancing my family. It is always one thing after another, this week, it was my sister who began to spiral. My mother, who has said little words to me lately, called me to tell me how my sister was grappling and falling down the rabbit hole that we have all fallen victim to at least once. I have stumbled along the edges of it a few times but I know I can't slump down it. I have to be the one standing and supporting everyone around me.

I smile to myself as I watch Elise, restoration curls of cinnamon-brown hair garlanding her face, her dreamy eyes flicking at me a few times as she writes her notes. I should be reading over my own notes and studying but I can't take my eyes off of Elise. I don't get a lot of time with her, so I can't help but admire her.

Elise wearily sighs as she shifts her books away from her and glances towards me, "giving up so soon?" I tease her playfully.

"Hand cramp," she holds her hand up that has been forced into writing more notes than anything.

I give her a soft smile before I take her hand with my own and benevolently begin to massage and rub her hand, easing the cramp and relaxing her. "How'd I get so lucky?" Elise breathes out with a musing smile dangled in the corner of her blossom-pink lips.

"It's a hand rub, nothing major," I respond as I feel her fingertips touching the edge of my own.

"It's sweet," Elise grants me her angelic smile, "your phone is ringing," she flicks her head towards my phone that has been on silent while we've been studying.

I glance at the caller ID and I excuse myself politely before I answer the phone call.

I move my fingers through my curly hair and profoundly sigh as I listen to the voice on the other end of the line.

I had anticipated these sorts of phone calls were in my past, but I guess my past will continue to bite me in the fucking ass.

I look towards Elise, "I Uh, I need to cut this night short. I need to go pick up my sister," I inform Elise as I stand to my feet, already reaching for my keys I threw to the table earlier. "I'm sorry, I will make it up to you," I assure her, feeling guilty for having to cut our time short.

"Hey, it's okay. You seem... on edge, are you okay?" Elise challenges and I can't help but mentally shake my head.

No, I'm not really okay; I have barely slept in the last few days, I have exams suffocating me along with my fucking family. I have my mother four hours away who I know is struggling but I can't help, I have a sister who has fallen off the face of the earth with me... well, up until now, and I have Logan or my father who is presumably going to pop up and shift me over the edge. It seems like I am never going to get the break I need.

I clear my throat, "yeah, yeah—"

"You're lying again," Elise cuts me off and I can't help but sigh as she stands to her feet.

I spread my fingers through my hair, debating whether I should tell Elise the problem. I don't want her to worry about things that are on my plate. "My sister is drunk off her ass somewhere and I need to go find her and take her home."

"Okay," Elise nods, "I'll come with you."

"Elise—" I go to argue her but she doesn't give me a chance, she cuts me off.

"I'll drive, my car is out front." Elise is already heading to the door, not giving me time to dispute her offer.

I can't help but smile at her kindness and I know there's no way I'm going to win this battle. "Love—"

"I'm not taking no for an answer." Elise chimes as she opens my apartment door and turns to look at me.

"Darling, your handbag and your jacket," I pick up her jacket and handbag and walk closer to her, "think you'll want these," I grin as she gracefully accepts my offer to slide her jacket up against her arms before she takes her bag.

❦ ❦ ❦

I step out of Elise's car and my eyes flick over to Elise who is getting out of the car. "Elise, stay in the car, it's not safe for you to be in the bar," I instruct, doing my best to keep my voice in a gentle temper. Although I may be frustrated, exhausted and uneasy, I don't want to come off as a total prick to her.

"Knight in shining armour, I'll be fine, let's go." Elise takes my hand, having no intentions of listening to me.

I don't want my girlfriend in a bar around intoxicated men, it makes my skin crawl for her to be here. It makes my skin crawl that my sister is somewhere in one of these godforsaken bars.

I keep my hand firmly with hers as I guide her around the swarm of sweaty bodies and the putrid aroma of alcohol. I scan the area for my sister who I have no fucking clue on what she's wearing or even what hair colour she has this time around.

All I have to work with is the familiar set of vivacious, virility brown eyes that have always been a shine of light in dark times.

I swallow down my frustration, "she's not here," I grumble as I turn to Elise and gaze at her, abruptly feeling the need to discover some comfort. I take a breath and find myself lost in her eyes for a moment, they're tired but they're vibrant and bright and for a split moment, I unearth the comfort I require as I come to terms with the plasticity and cosines her eyes manifest.

Elise doesn't say anything, instead, she drags me out of the bar and steps outside into the chilling air. "What bars does she usually go to? We can search all the popular ones she fancies. We will find her," Elise uses her dulcimer sweet voice while her eyes are a-twinkle with the 'joie de vivre.' I'm not sure how she can be optimistic and certain we will find a woman who clearly doesn't want to be fucking found.

I attempt to give Elise a smile in an endeavour to seem polite, but I can't. I can't fake a smile when I can feel the nerves in my body arising to twitch and tingle. I can feel the heaviness in my chest as I breathe and I can feel the apprehension creeping up on me and lacing me like a vine, almost squeezing me in an unrelenting way.

❦ ❦ ❦

Elise and I have been driving around for over an hour, running in and out of bars, searching for the same set of eyes that have usually been on the straight narrow path. "Love, you don't have to do this," I begin, glancing over at Elise as she stops at a red light, "it's late, you can go home and I'll get a cab and keep looking. This isn't part of girlfriend duties," I inform Elise, feeling like a shitty boyfriend to have her awake and driving at such an ungodly hour. She should be curled up securely in bed and not travelling around town, running in and out of bars looking for my sister who decided to go off the rails.

Elise shakes her head, "I'm not going home without knowing you and your sister are okay. Come on, I need directions on where to go." Elise adamantly responds, gazing over at me and giving me a sense of tranquillity.

I sink into the leather seat of her car and take a breath as Elise's attention turns to the green light, "Harry, it'll be okay. We will find her," Elise assures me pleasantly, her left hand leaving the steering wheel and finding my hand, "have some faith, okay?" She squeezes my hand gently as I allow her to lace her fingers with mine.

It's not easy having faith when you've held onto faith for so long just for it to kick you up the ass and lead you down a narrow path of destruct. Sometimes faith isn't enough to hold me, and sometimes, just sometimes, faith doesn't have the answers I require. Faith has failed me more times than it has pulled through. Faith, to me, is merely a word that is thrown around and has no logical significance.

I stare at Elise, my heart somewhat feeling whole as she still manages to grant me a smile at this horrible hour. When I look at her, I can see her purity, she's a sweet soul. Her soul shouldn't be anywhere near mine, it'll become tainted and broken.

"How are you so—" I trail off, unsure of the word in looking for to describe her.

"Optimistic?" Elise finishes my sentence and I nod, "well, I'm not. I just try to be more optimistic than pessimistic."

"How's that working for you?" I cheekily challenge, more so to humour myself.

"It's going well. I don't know if you're looking for reassurance or if you're generally curious about my optimism, but things will be okay, Harry," Elise reassures me for what feels like the hundredth time. Either way, I can't get enough of her sweet voice and her warmth that seems to radiate her.

❦ ❦ ❦

Elise takes my hand and squeezes it lightly as she parks her car at the third bar, "a third time's a charm," she graces me with a jaunty smile, her optimism once again washing over me.

Damnit, I hope she's right. I'm holding onto that little bit of faith she instilled in me and God help me if it fails.

"I hope so, I can't keep doing this," I respond bitterly, mainly because I'm exhausted but partially because this isn't the first time I've had to scour pubs to locate my sister drunk off her ass.

I let go of Elise's hand and make my way through the crowd while Elise trails right behind me, her hand pressing to my shoulder.

My eyes scan be area and I notice her, I find her discouraged eyes in the crowd of people drowning their sorrows with booze they probably can't afford.

I hurry towards my sister as she has a glass in her hand while leaning on one of her obnoxious and bad influence friends. Don't get me wrong, my sister usually has a good eye for friends and people, but when she goes off the rails, she knows exactly who to call.

My sister rolls her eyes the moment she sees me and she attempts to turn away from me but I benevolently grab her. I can't let her do this to herself.

My sister pulls away from me, "go away." Her voice is bitter and I'm taken back by it. She's usually the sweetheart and I'm usually the hostile asshole.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

"You need to go home." I sigh, too weary to deal with my sister mixed with alcohol. I want to go home where I‍ can get in bed knowing my sister is safe.

She shakes her head at me in the same manner my mother does when she's scolding me. "Fuck off, Harry," she hiccups, a clear indication he has had a few too many drinks.

"No, you need to go home." I attempt to persuade my sister but it doesn't work. She's stubborn, like me. I guess it runs in the family.

"I don't want your damn help." My sister pushes me away, literally and theoretically.

She's really going off the deep end, she doesn't push me away and for her to do so, it must be pretty severe. She only goes off the deep end in certain circumstances and I'm too scared to ask what these circumstances are.

"Piss off," my sister growls before stumbling away from me with her friends who don't seem to give much of a damn about her.

I turn to Elise and run my fingers through my hair. I don't need to say anything for her to know my thoughts on how I'm lost. I don't know what to do and I usually always know what to do. "She uh– she doesn't want to come... I can't just pick her up and carry her out... can I?" I question, thoroughly debating whether to physically carry my sister out of the bar and to the car. I just want her home safe.

"That might cause a scene. You might not have to do that." Elise gestures behind me and I turn to see my sister stumbling towards me.

I grab her and take the drink from her hand that she has mainly spilt and I hand it to Elise to put down somewhere. "You have a girl with you," my sister points out, her eyes locked on Elise as she wanders back towards the bar with my sisters drink.

My sister seems amazed by the fact I have a girl with me.

"I do," I respond dryly. I love my sister, I do, but I'm not sure how she will react to me having another woman in my life, or how she'll react to me having a girlfriend. It has been a while since I bought a girl home to my family.

"She's pretty. Bring her home to Mum."

"Someday soon, I need to get you home."

"I don't want to go home." She curls her lips into a pout in an attempt to get her way.

"Why?" I question.

"I don't want to be alone," my sister trails off as she leans her drunken body weight on me, her sadness breaking my heart to multiple pieces.

I know how she feels, I know what it's like to not want to be alone and surrounded by the four walls of an apartment. I know what it's like to also be in a crowded room and still feel abandoned.

I take a breath and think for a moment, "you can stay with me for the night." I assure my sister, my eyes meeting with Elise's as she's making her way closer to us.

"Is she your girlfriend?" My sister curiously challenges, her inquisitiveness not failing even though she's plastered.

"Yes. But after tonight I'm not sure for how much longer," I chuckle as my sister almost stumbles over her own feet. "Damnit, Gemma," I huff, grabbing my sister and stopping her from falling.

"Are you leaving my brother?" My sister questions as Elise stands in front of us, her brows furrowing out of confusion as she looks towards me.

"No, no I'm not," Elise shakes her head, "I love your shoes, they're a nice colour." Elise smiles at my sister and my sister begins to babble on and on about her shoes while I escort her outside.

It was a good decision on Elise's part to divert my sister's attention to discussing shoes because the moment we stop at Elise's car, my sister flips a switch.

"No. I don't want to go home," she attempts to pull away from me but I don't let her this time. I know what'll happen if I let her pull away, she'll run, literally.

I wrap my arms around her and allow her to hit her hands to my chest as she relieves the built up emotion and rage she has bottled in. "I know, I know," I sigh, taking the soft blows of my sister who is sad and hurting. She has bottled everything in and now, it's my turn to take it away from her and to allow her to take it out on me. Even if it is in a physical way.

My sister lets out a huff before she settles down and begins to weep into my chest. Her words don't make sense as she cries and whimpers, but they don't need to. I know all too well what she's feeling. She's feeling defeated, succumbed, and most of all, she's feeling broken. "I'm taking you to my place, I promise." I assure my sister, "when I make my promises I keep them, you know that." I comfort her, holding her close and enabling her to cry into me and to stain my shirt with tears.

My sister lifts her head from my chest and she nods as she wipes a few tears away from her blushed cheeks, "c'mon, get in the back and we will take you to my apartment." I open the door for my sister, helping her step in before I make sure she has her seatbelt on.

I close the door and glance towards Elise as I notice her rubbing her eyes, "you're tired," I point out, watching as she chuckles and nods.

"Well, it is three in the morning." Elise gives me her charming grin.

"Will you let me drive? It'll make me feel better."

Elise thinks for a moment and bites her lip, unsure of whether to grant me permission. "I promise I'm a good driver, didn't miss a point on my driving test," I inform her and she lets out a sleepy laugh before she hands me her keys, "love how you're a gentleman," Elise smiles before leaning up and kissing my cheek.

❦ ❦ ❦

The drive home is withdrawn, Elise is gradually nodding off but seems to be fighting against it. I reach over and grab her hand. She looks over at me and sleepily grins, "thank you, for coming with me tonight."

"You're welcome," Elise responds as she gives my hand a small squeeze, almost as if she's reassuring me on something I'm not quite aware of at the moment.

She has this grace and touch to her that feels welcoming, reassuring and calming. I don't know what it is about her, whether it's her refinement, her manner, her soothing voice or the way she holds my hand, but whatever it is— it's comforting— it feels like a safety net or a safe haven, you could say.

"You're watching the road, do you not trust me?" I question, curious as to whether I'm a shocking driver or whether it's a habit.

"No, no, I do," Elise responds but I can't help but feel there's more to it.

"I get a feeling that's not true or there's more to it."

Elise grows quiet for a moment before beginning to speak. "I get car sick if I'm in a car too long and it helps to look at the horizon."

"Now I feel bad."

"Don't, it's not your fault and it isn't your driving either," Elise assures me as I keep my eyes on the roads that are genuinely placid.

"Kinda is, you spent the last few hours driving because of me."

"I wanted to, it's okay. It's no big deal. We are nearly at your apartment anyway," Elise responds and I nod.

"So, on a scale of one to ten, how pissed would you be if I hit a pothole?" I joke, mainly to lighten the mood and to keep my mind attentive as I drive.

I hear Elise chuckle quietly, "please don't, those things make motion sickness ten times worse."

"I wouldn't do that to you."

"I don't know, you're too much of a gentleman to not have that one moment of being a jerk."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm an absolute asshole, but I'd never intentionally trigger motion sickness, plus I can't afford to fix any damages to your car."

"Good thing I have insurance on my car and trust you. You haven't been an asshole to me."

I shrug, "eh, just wait on it."

"At least you're honest," Elise snickers.

"Indeed," I nod, "I try to keep the asshole in me concealed, but on other news, we are at my apartment," I inform Elise before parking outside of the building.

I glance into the backseat and view my sister fast asleep before I get out of the car and wait for Elise to walk over to me. I hand her the keys before digging into my pockets and handing her my set of keys, "I'm going to carry her up, will you unlock the door for me?" I question and she nods, taking my keys from my hands.

I carefully get my sister out of the car and push the door closed with my hip as I carry her, "do you remember the code, sweetheart?" I ask Elise as she stops at the glass doors of the building.

"Yes, 1221," Elise responds, her fingers typing in the code before the glass doors open and we enter the building.

The elevator ride to my floor felt long and so does the walk to my door. I can see Elise struggling to keep up with my pace, her tiredness kicking in. I slow down a bit, forgetting that not everyone is as fast as I am.

Elise unlocks the door to my apartment, "go in, love," I gesture for her to walk in as she pushes on the door. She steps in and I step in right behind her before she closes the door.

"Just give me a minute to put her in bed," I whisper towards Elise, "make yourself at home," I add, gesturing towards the living room where I'm sure she'll be glad to sit down and relax before I'm down the hallway and entering the guest bedroom.

❦

Once getting my sister in bed, I walk down the hallway noiselessly before I enter the living room. I smile to myself as I observe Elise asleep on my couch. I take in her features, the way her hair falls messily around her face, the way her eyelids flutter and the way she seems so peaceful as she sleeps. I can't help but stare at her as she rests.

It almost breaks my heart to have to wake her up, but there's no way I could allow her to sleep on my couch, not when I have a bed in my room.

I bend down to her level and carefully caress my hand to her arm, "Elise, sweetheart," I whisper, rubbing her arm to gradually lure her awake. Her eyes moderately open and she blinks owlishly at me for a moment, "hey, you fell asleep."

"What time is it?" She looks at me bewilderedly.

She's so cute when she's sleepy and a little bit confused.

"It's almost four. Would you like to stay the night?" I offer, hoping she says yes.

Not just for my own personal benefit of getting to have my girlfriend spend the night for the first time, but so I know she's safe and not having to go back to campus at this hour.

Elise sleepily nods and I waste no time in scooping her up in my arms, causing a small chuckle to escape her tired lips, "you're sweet," she whispers, resting her head on my shoulder as I begin to carry her down the hallway and to my bedroom.

"I try to be," I respond, doing my best to keep her as steady as possible in my arms.

I enter my bedroom and wander to the side of the bed I don't sleep on. Even though I have a king bed, I have my side that I always sleep on.

I place Elise on my bed, on the side furthest from the door, "would you like a change of clothes?" I offer as I turn the small lamp on so I can adjust the duvet I threw to the end of the bed this morning while in a hurry to get to my first class.

"That would be nice," Elise nods as she glances around my bedroom and takes in the surroundings.

I hand Elise a pair of tracksuit pants and a t-shirt before I lean down and kiss her cheek, "goodnight."

She frowns as she gazes at me, "where are you going?" Elise questions.

"To the living room," I respond. I'm not quite sure where she thinks I'm going.

She cocks her head to the side, "why?"

"So you can change privately and so I can sleep."

She thinks for a moment and shakes her head, "you're not sleeping in your bed?"

I shake my head, "no, love."

"Why?"

"It's not polite to sleep in a bed with a woman who may not want you in the bed."

Elise grows withdrawn for a moment before her lips curve up into a small smile, "You really are a gentleman, aren't you?"

Without being cocky, I nod my head, "would never do anything to make you uncomfortable, Elise."

"Hmm," Elise hums, "will you please stay with me?" Elise challenges, catching me off guard.

"Is that what you'd like?" I ask, needing her approval before I get in bed.

"Yes. I'd like you to sleep in your bed," Elise gestures to the space beside her that I usually sleep on.

"I think I can manage that."

"But there's a condition." Elise chimes and I gesture for her to continue, "you don't hog the blankets."

I roll my eyes at her, "you can have the blankets." I respond before I crawl onto my side of the bed and Elise glances over at me with a grin on her lips. "What's running through that beautiful mind of yours?"

Elise lifts her shoulders into a shrug, "just how you're truly a gentleman."

"Mother raised me well," I respond, giving my mother credit for the fact I know how to treat a woman.

"I'm going to change, I'll be back," Elise informs me before she's off my bed and heading towards my bathroom.

I lie in my bed, staring up at the ceiling with a smirk on my lips. I'm not sure what I did to deserve to have Elise cross paths with me, perhaps it was a freak of nature, an unintended plan that became part of nature's way of life, but whatever it was and is, I'm more than grateful for it.

I thank the heavens every day that she stumbled into my life, even if it was by mistake back in August. She truly is a breath of fresh air after drowning or a light of grace in the darkness of misery.

Maybe that darkened tunnel that I thought never had a light at the end of it does have a light. Maybe she's the light I've been needing to find to help me through this journey of crossed paths.

Elise steps out of my bathroom and wanders to the other side of the bed, "can I turn the light off?" Elise questions and I give her the go-ahead before she's crawling into bed beside me and stealing the covers.

"Don't waste time, do yeh?"

"It's cold, Harry," Elise responds, wiggling under the covers and finding a comfortable position.

"Well, come closer," I open my arm for her and she wiggles herself closer before she's nestled into me perfectly, like a puzzle fitting into its next piece.

I adjust the duvet around her before my arm drapes over her body, "goodnight, sleep well."

"Goodnight, you too," Elise responds drowsily, leaning up and kissing me lightly before she's nestled into me and closing her eyes.

Despite the fact I'm tired, I can't help but savour the moment of her asleep and nestled into me. I feel as though, for the first time in a long time, everything is aligning perfectly.

Maybe, just maybe, fate and faith are working in my favour.

❦ ❦ ❦

My body jolts and I sit up with an enraged heart pounding in my chest as I take a deep breath of air and discover my fingers digging into my sheets. I swallow down my frustration of rage with my nightmare that was once a reality.

Fuck, I am never going to escape.

"Hey, you're okay. It's just me, it's okay," Elise's voice becomes music to my ears and I notice her hand pressed to my back.

I take a few deep breaths, attempting to bring myself back to reality. I don't think I will ever get over these nightmares. They always feel so real, and once upon a time, they were real; now they're nothing but memories I want to suppress and never have to live again.

Elise's hand brushes soothing circles on my back but it doesn't calm me. Nothing really calms me on these types of nights.

I can still feel the dream as though it was real.

I clear my throat, "go back to sleep, I'm going to get some air." I lean over and kiss her cheek before I leave the bedroom and don't bother to look back.

I waste no time with leaving my bedroom and walking down the eclipsed hallway, doing my best to make as little noise as possible. Of all the nights this had to happen, it had to happen the night Elise sleeps beside me. Fuck.

I heavily sigh and draw the glass door open and step outside onto my small balcony.

I take in the pristine air of the morning, the sun just beginning to rise from its sleeping position and the birds just commencing to sing their morning song.

I stare down at the road below me, watching cars drive down the road, their destination most likely being work. It's astounding how various people are doing different things at this hour of the morning, some are going to work, some are going to class and some are just getting home. Then there's me, standing on my balcony watching life below me.

At this hour of the morning, I would prefer to be in bed or doing something productive, not trying to remind myself what it is like to breathe in fresh air without feeling like I am suffocating. There are other things I would rather be doing than welcoming the morning breeze gracing my body and reminding me that despite everything, I can still feel something, even if it is the coldness.

"I Uh—, I made some tea for you," Elise distracts me from the morning breeze and I turn to face her.

"Thank you, you should be asleep. Only been asleep an hour, love."

Elise shrugs, "not going to sleep until you're alright," she hands me my tea, "hope you don't mind that I went through your kitchen."

"Mi Casa, si casa."

Elise giggles and shakes her head, "sweetheart, it's mi casa es su casa."

"Darling, you understood what I meant. Since when did you take Spanish?"

"It's too early for this conversation... are you okay?" Elise questions as she stands beside me and rests her head on my shoulder.

I nod, not having any words for Elise, "let's go back to bed." I say, feeling guilty that she hasn't had much sleep. I know she's being sweet by checking up on me and making me tea, but I don't want her to lose sleep over me. I'm not worth it. I'll be fine. I've been fine. I've done this on my own for a while, I'll survive.

Elise and I step back inside my apartment and I close and lock the door behind me as I sip on my tea. To my surprise, it does seem to be having a calming effect on me. I'm not sure what she did to it, but it makes me feel a little less on edge.

"I'll meet you in my room, just finishing this cuppa," I gesture for Elise to go back down the hallway and to slither into bed where it's warm.

I take a few deep breaths as I pad to the kitchen and finish off my tea, allowing the warmness of the beverage to calm me further. I stare aimlessly around my kitchen, taking the time to allow my thoughts to process.

To be quite honest, I feel like I'm moments away from a breakdown; this is exhausting.

I feel as though I'm the one holding my mother and sister together constantly and in the meantime I allow myself to slowly deconstruct. I put everyone else first and forget that I too need a break.

I make my way to the bedroom and discover Elise still awake but she's curled up under the duvet, her eyes watching me as I enter, "you cold?" I question.

"No," she shakes her head, but I know she's lying.

I crawl into bed and allow the duvet to fall over me before getting comfortable within the bed and within the silence that is lingering.

"Harry, does this happen often?" Elise questions, breaking the silence.

"Does what happen often? Having a lovely lady in my bed? Not very often." I joke, drawing her closer to me and wrapping my arm around her.

I know exactly what she means, but I don't think I want to answer the question, honestly.

"Ha, I'd hope you don't have women in your bed often. Or at all at the moment."

"Promise you're the only woman to get in my bed and the only woman I want asleep in my bed." ... "and as for the nightmare. Kinda. They happen a fair bit." I answer honestly.

They've been happening for a while and to be quite honest, I'm not sure when there was a time they didn't occur.

Elise grows withdrawn and I can't help but feel as though she's judging me or internally laughing at the ridiculousness of me having nightmares.

"You're quiet, did this change your mind about me?" I instantly request, concerned that maybe it's too early to be bluntly honest with her.

"No," Elise is swift to respond, "I was thinking about what to say. My mind hasn't been changed, Harry. Jus' wish I knew what could help."

"I'll be okay."

Even if things aren't okay, I'm not going to tell her that, she doesn't need to worry. I'm sure she has her own problems to worry herself over.

"I know." ... "Harry?"

"Yes?"

"You're very cryptic in a way and I want to ask why. But I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you, just know, when you're ready to talk, I'll listen."

"Maybe one day, but right now. You and I both need sleep." I respond before placing a kiss on her cheek. I appreciate her not urging me to talk and for offering to listen, I do. But right now isn't the right time in our relationship for me to fully confide in her. I observe her jolt slightly beside me and I raise a brow before realising that she's probably cold, "are you cold, Elise?"

"A little bit," she nods before I get out of bed and turn the heating up for her. It's the least I can do, she spent most the night helping me.

I crawl back in bed and she peers at me with her gorgeous eyes, "come here," I grin as I turn on my side and benevolently wrap my arm around her and bring her closer to my body.

"Thank you," she whispers, nestling into me and soaking up my warmth.

"You're welcome," I tiredly respond before kissing the top of her head and falling asleep.

❦ ❦ ❦

I leisurely wake up to my arms feeling empty and my bed feeling colder. I blink at the vacant space beside me and for a moment, my heart sinks.

She must have decided to run while I was asleep. I don't blame her for unobtrusively leaving. I don't blame her if she never sees me again.

I sit up on my forearm and heavy sigh before I hear an unsettling sound. "Elise?" I flick my eyes towards the bathroom before I swiftly remember my sister stayed the night and she's presumably hungover. I groan and push myself off my bed and follow the awful sound of coughing that leads me to the guest bathroom where I discover my girlfriend helping my hungover sister

I rub my eyes before my sister glances up at me, "please go away, this isn't my proudest moment," she grumbles, gesturing with her hand and waving me off.

I don't bother with a response, instead, I wander down my hallway and walk to the kitchen. My eyes catch a glimpse of the time and I can't help but sigh, it's only nine. My body feels heavy and my lack of sleep isn't helping that. Fuck. I need a getaway.

I turn the kettle on and grab three mugs before I wait for the kettle to boil in silence. I watch the time change as a minute goes by and I run my fingers through my hair as I realise my morning class is starting.

I'm distracted from my thoughts as Elise makes her way into the kitchen, she gently caresses her hands to my chest and leans up to peck my lips, "hey," I whisper, giving her a feigned smile.

"Hi," Elise responds, "how are you this morning?"

"Honestly, pretty shit," I inform her with a small chuckle, "how are you?"

Elise shrugs, "better than your sister."

"That's what happens when you drink too much, hope you learn from this," I wink before I kiss the corner of her mouth.

"I don't drink often," Elise responds, "you look exhausted, why don't you let me make her tea and you go back to bed?" Elise proposes. Although her offer sounds pretty fucking amazing, I can't allow her to take the responsibility for my sister.

"It's not your job. You should be sleeping."

"I know, but I can see you're exhausted in more ways than one. Let me help, please?" she softly challenges, giving me her adoring smile and loving eyes.

"I'll say okay on one condition."

"What's that?"

"When you get her back to sleep, you come back to bed with me," I bargain with her, and she nods.

"Was planning on it."

"Okay, I'll make the tea and then I'll go to bed, deal?"

"Deal," Elise agrees before she leaves me to go back to my sister who needs the attention and care more than me.

❦ ❦ ❦

I shuffle to the bathroom and stand in the doorway. My sister glares over at me and I raise a brow, "did drinking solve any of your problems?" I question, placing a cup of tea on the countertop as I bring my own cup to my lips.

"Screw off," my sister sneers, not too pleased with my question.

What kind of brother would I be if I didn't torture her just a little bit? Lord knows when she has found me drunk off my ass she has made it a hell-bent ride.

"Gemma, you know alcohol doesn't solve problems."

"Save the lecture for someone else, Harry. I already know," my sister bitterly responds as Elise looks between the two of us as she stands in the middle.

"The middle drawer has pain relief," I gesture towards the draws closest to Elise and she wastes no time with opening the drawer. "How did you get to London? Mum said you moved back with her just last month." I interrogate my sister, wanting to know what the fuck went through her mind last night to make her waste four hours to get here just to get blackout drunk.

"I don't want to talk."

"Well, you're going to. Mum told me you got drunk the other night, too, in Cheshire. What's going on?"

My sister groans and rolls her eyes, "of course she told you, you're the bloody favourite. Doesn't bloody talk to you until she needs your help because god forbid I ever do anything wrong."

"She's worried," I sigh, not wanting to argue my sister this morning.

"She's worried about you too but you don't see me lecturing you."

"I'm not getting myself fucking drunk," I raise my voice slightly, feeling the need to be the little brother that sets her straight. I may be younger, but damn, she sometimes forgets how to act.

"You're not a fucking saint, Harry! You've been drunk before. Don't act like you are perfect."

"You should know better."

"Bugger off." My sister flicks her wrist and gestures for me to leave, but I don't. This is my apartment, she's stuck with my interrogation.

I take a breath and keep my voice low as I speak, "how did you get down here? And why did you get drunk?"

"Because I fucking wanted to. I took the train and a cab."

"Christ, that's fucking dangerous!" I move my hands through my tumbles of russet-brown hair, baffled that my sister is so irresponsible sometimes.

"Would you have preferred I drove?" My sister questions, her comment irking my nerves. I think she is doing this on purpose, she has to be.

"Why did you do this to yourself?"

"I told you I don't want to talk."

"I don't want a lot of things but I have to fucking deal with it. I'm not doing this right now," I huff, already feeling myself losing my temper and my self-control. I can't do this. I don't have it in me to deal with my sister right now.

"You sound like Dad right now," my sister grumbles and my blood begins to boil. Her comment rouses my anger that has been pretty dormant lately.

For the first time during this dispute, Elise makes her presence known when she steps closer to me and places her hand to my shoulder before she kisses my lips, "let me get her to bed, I've got this," she whispers in my ear, her voice calming my edgy nerves somewhat.

I take a breath and nod, stepping away from the bathroom and lingering in the hallway with my tea, just to make sure my sister is okay.

She doesn't throw insults like that around unless things are grave. I'm not sure what's rattling through her brain but I know things aren't good.

❦

I notice Elise and my sister step out of the bathroom and I take it upon myself to follow them into the guest bedroom. I watch as Elise kindly helps my sister back into bed and makes sure she's comfortable. "You okay?" I ask, walking closer to my sister while Elise adjusts the curtains on the window.

"Mum hasn't been going to work, Harry," my sister informs me with a soft voice, "she's up to her neck in bills and the mortgage isn't getting paid. She's not okay and neither am I... she's... we're going to lose the house if she keeps this up."

"How long has this been happening?" I question, attempting to hide the concern that is beginning to course through my veins. I know where this conversation is leading. I'm going to have to be the one to come to the rescue even though I don't think I have it in me to be the saving grace.

"The last month, she leaves the house but she's not going to work. You need to talk to her."

I shake my head and swallow hard, "You know I'm the last person she wants to talk to."

My mother hasn't spoken much to me since I moved to London, she pulled away and only talks to me when I call her, most of the time it feels like we are talking on a broken line.

My sister glances at me in the same manner as my mother would, it's uncanny how they have the same expressions. "She misses you."

"Gemma," I sigh, "please don't make me feel guilty for leaving."

I don't think my sister and mother understand that leaving was the only way I could save myself. Maybe if they left too, they wouldn't harbour the pain that they do.

"I'm not, but she might listen to you."

Me and her both know my mother is more likely to listen to me, but it's going to take more than just a phone call for her to listen. It's going to take a four-hour drive and a full weekend.

"I'll call her. You need to get some rest," I dismiss the conversation just as Elise walks out to give us privacy. She's probably wondering just what in the hell she got herself into.

"She's a nice girl," my sister comments, referencing Elise, "how long have you two been together?"

"Three months." I softly respond, not too fond of having this conversation with my sister.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want to jinx it. Now get some sleep." I instruct, not giving her time to ask any more questions before I shuffle out of the room and head to the bedroom.

❦ ❦ ❦

For the first time this morning, I genuinely smile to myself when I notice Elise under the covers of my bed, "should I be worried that a beautiful girl keeps getting in my bed?"

Elise chuckles and blushes, "should I be worried that you like to stare at me?"

I lift my shoulders into a shrug, "do you blame me? You're out of my league, gotta savour this moment," I respond as I walk closer to the bed and get between the sheets.

"You're sweet," Elise grins and I open my arm for her, gesturing for her to come closer.

She wiggles closer and gets comfortable beside me, her body once again fitting securely against mine— it's almost as though it was made for this.