this is a request from nicklikesbirds ! 

(TW: anxiety, anxiety attack) 

~~~~~ 

Matt tossed and turned in his bed. He could not sleep, no matter how hard he tried. He'd been feeling anxious for the past week, and Nick and Chris were helpful, but it didn't change anything. There were hundreds of thoughts whizzing through Matt's head. He wished he could just turn his brain off for a second. 

What if someone follows us during a video? What if we're being stalked? What if we have to quit? 

What if? What if? What if... 

And then Matt was up out of bed, pacing around the room as his thoughts consumed him. He needed his brothers, but it was 3:00 in the morning. So he tried the things he learned in therapy. He tried journaling, meditation, and deep breathing, but nothing worked. Matt felt like he couldn't breathe, and he started to cry silently. He knew he needed someone to calm him down. He picked up his phone and texted Chris, who was most likely still awake.

chris u up? 

yea matt wsp? u good? 

i think im having an anxiety attack. come 2 my room pls 

read 3:40 am

Matt's door opened and Chris appeared, with Nick behind him. Matt was sitting gingerly on the edge of his bed, breathing hard, with tears rolling down his cheeks and dripping onto his shirt. Chris sat down beside Matt. "Matt, what's the matter?" Chris pulled Matt into a hug.

Matt sobbed against his brother. "I can't do it, Chris. I'm so anxious all the time and I just-" a gasp cut Matt off. 

"Breathe, Matt. You're okay, you're here, you're safe."  Nick soothed. He rubbed Matt's back. "Take a deep breath, okay? Then you can tell us why you're so anxious." 

Matt took several deep breaths until he was calmed down. "I'm sorry, guys. I know it's late. I have just been super anxious and I'm overthinking a lot about our new fandom. It's honestly insane and fucking weird. The things they post and say, about us, about where we live, it's just so stressful," Matt huffed anxiously, shaking his head. "I just am scared? I guess?" Matt confessed to his brothers. 

"Matt, I know it's stressful right now, but me, Nick, Madi, Laura, Mom, Dad- you get the point.. we are all here for you!" Chris patted Matt's hair.  "You shouldn't be holding all your anxieties in, Matt." 

Matt sighed. "I know, Chris. I just feel like such a burden." Matt's eyes welled up. 

"No, no! Matt! You're not a burden! You deserve to have your feelings be heard." Nick comforted, and Chris agreed.  Matt had finally calmed down, and yawned, rubbing his eyes. Matt said goodnight to his brothers and snuggled under the blankets of his bed, falling asleep. 

Matt would be okay, as long as he had his brothers. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

that was a request from nicklikesbirds !

thank you for almost 100 reads ahhh!!! 

love you all and take care of yourself <3