**BEFORE YOU READ**

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW THIS IS ABOUT SELF HARM AND RAPE. IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ANYTHING ALONG THOSE LINES YOU SHOULDN'T READ. {there will be no graphic details. Sorry to disappoint ;-) }

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Alanna's POV:

His forehead rest against mine with only centimeters between us. The palms of my hands rest on his chest on top of the two inked swallows. He soon closed the space between us. His perfect lips molded with almost instantly. Both of his hands caressed my face, but slowly one dropped down to my knee. I smiled into the kiss.

Harry may look like a tough bad ass on the out side, but that's just what the cameras show of him. Once you get to know him he is one of the most gentle and sweetest person ever.

He brought my face closer to his to deepen the kiss. It wasn't one of those hungry lustful kind of kisses. The kiss was full of love and that burning passion that we each had for each other.

I felt his hand slowly creep up my leg. I got one of those feelings in my stomach. Not a good one.

He gently squeezed my upper thigh.

Suddenly every memory flooded back to me. I immediately broke the kiss, pushing back on his chest and practically jumping to the other end of the couch.

My breathing was heavy as I tried to calm my mind and get his face out of my head. I didn't even know that Harry was talking to me, trying to get my attention, until he reached out to me and I flinched away.

"Alanna? Baby what's wrong?" He asked concern very evident in his voice.

I must of looked like I just saw someone being murdered, but those memories of him honestly did almost kill me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I jumped off the couch and run up stairs and down the hall and dashed into the my room slamming the door and climbing on to my bed.

I was shaking. Tears slowly making their way down my cheeks. Everything came flooding back. Everything from the first time to the last. His face, his voice. How he touched me. It's not like Harry hasn't touched me like that before. But this time it was different. I don't know why, but it was. I shouldn't have ran out on him like that. He probably thinks it was his fault, but no body knows about my past.

I heard faint foot steps coming up the stairs. I knew I was going to have to tell him, but i was it just wasn't like this.

I looked up at my door when I heard a knock. Harry looked like he didn't know what to do. Whether to come in or wait for me to come to him.

I sniffed, "You can come in." I whispered but he heard. He slowly walked my way and sat beside me. but made sure not to touch me. I heard his swallow before he spoke up.

"What happened down there?"

I took a breath and looked at his face. I opened my mouth to say something, but decided against it.

He sighed. "Can you tell me?" He sounded desperate.

I rolled my eyes. "You really want to know?" I said. It sounded a little harsher than what it should have been. He simply nodded. I quickly averted my gaze from his face to the duvet beneath me.

"I-I was raped."

I waited a few minuets for that to sink in too him before I looked up at him. His eyes were fixed on the floor. I could tell he had a lot of questions going through his head.

"I know you have questions," I stated, "If you want me to i'll tell you the whole story and then you can ask questions."

"Sure." He nodded his head and looked up at me.

I took a deep breath.

"Everything started on my 15th birthday. It was just my mom, dad, and I celebrating at our house. We never did a lot on anybodies birthday except just have family time. While we were watching a movie my dad decided to go to bed early. After the movie was over around 11pm my mom and I went to bed.After about five minutes, I heard my door creak open. I turned to see who it was and it was my dad. He came over to me and told me he couldn't sleep so he thought he would check up on me. He said he hopes I had a good birthday and that he still had one present for me. He came over to me and kissed my forehead. He had his hands holding my arms down. He started to kiss down my face and to my ear. He whispered, 'If you tell anyone about this, this wont be the last time.' He grabbed something out of his pocket and stuffed it in my mouth so we wouldn't wake my mom up. He then moved my arms above my head and held them together in one of his. His other hand went down to my legs and practically ripped off my shorts. He slipped my panties off painfully slow. I didn't watch him. I didn't want to see what he would do to me, because it was pretty evident. I heard him unzip his pants. He told me to look at him, but I just couldn't. When I didn't do the second time he asked me he slapped me and forced me to look at him. He said, 'I want to see those pretty eyes of yours." He kissed my mouth but I didn't back. So got just got him more pissed off. He slapped my face again and said, 'For that, no prep.' Then h-he... umm... I'm pretty sure you can guess. He was finished with me around 1:30am. I never told anybody like he said, because I didn't want it to happen again. Not like it would have mattered if I did. He raped me at least once a month, maybe a few times if there was a holiday. Halloween, Easter, 4th of July, Mother's Day. My birthdays, Father's Day, and Christmas were the worst. Always at night too unless someone was home. One time he tied my hands to the head board of my bed. He kissed me everywhere. His hands would be running up and down my legs, squeezing my upper thigh. When I would sit by him at dinner or something he would do that. That's why I reacted that way downstairs. All the memories came back. It lasted for three years. Through out those three years my mom and dads marriage was going down hill so much that a week before I left they filed for a divorce, but he had to keep living with us. The night that I moved out, my dad and mom got in a fight. He ended up storming out and went for a drive. He wet to a bar and got smashed. He tried to drive home, but ended up in a head on collision with a semi-truck. Mom called me and said he didn't make it, and then I told her what went on for the past three years."

I sighed and looked over to Harry. He was still looking at me with his lips parted, he was clearly in shock.

He looked down to the bed. I could tell he had all these things running through his mind. I faintly saw a tear trickle down his face and drop to the bed.

I took his hand in mine and pulled his face towards mine, so we were looking eye to eye. "None of what happened down there was you fault. It was just the memory of that bastard that stole my childhood," I sighed, "I am glade I finally told you." I rubbed his hand between both of mine.

He nodded his head understanding and brought my hands up to his mouth and placed a kiss on them. He quickly wiped away the stray tears that were on his cheeks.

"Anything else you want to tell me?" He asked.

I sighed and nodded, "Because of that, I did cut for a while." I didn't even want to look at him. I know he would be disappointed.

He stayed silent.

I peeked at him from the corner of my eye to see him looking straight at me with fresh tears brimming his eye.

"Where?" his voice broke at the end.

I stood up and pulled my shorts down off my left hip. There in plain sight were three small scars.

"These three arnt deep, there just bigger." I looked down at my hip the back to Harry.

There were so many emotions clouding his eyes. "Anywhere else?"

I showed his my wrist where two small 'bite' looking scars were, but he looked confused.

"You told me you got bit by a snake there." He replied, he sounded a little hurt. His hand took hold of my wrist and examined it.

"And I did. Because the bite was so bad I had to get stitches, and people knew about it. So I thought maybe if i just cut there, people wouldn't suspect anything. There would have been scares anyway." I said shrugging my shoulders.

" I just wanted to numb the pain, bu it wasn't worth it." my voice cracked.

Harry shook his head. I knew it. He was disappointed.

I was looking at the ground when I saw Harry's hands reach out and pull me by my hips closer to him.

I looked down at him, since he was still sitting on the edge of the bed, in confusion.

He brought his face down to my hip and gently pressed his lips to the scars and planting kissed along each of them.

I smiled to my self sighed. He then looked up at me and took hold of my wrist again and kissed my scares. His lips started to kiss up my arm and he started to stand up as well. Once his lips got the the base of my neck he stopped and looked me in the eye.

"Don't ever do this your self again. You tell me when something is bothering you. Ok? You can tell me anything. I'm glad you finally told me though.I hate knowing you did this to yourself. I hate thinking that anyone would hurt you or take advantage of you. I want you to know that I will never hurt you, and I will never let anyone else hurt you." He kissed my forehead.

"And I love you so, so, so much. Too much for words." I saw tears escape his eyes again.

"I love you too. I am so sorry you had to find out like this."

"It's ok. Like I said. I'm just glad you finally told me." He smiled and pecked my lips.

I pulled away and smiled.

"Me too."

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A/N Sorry if this was bad! I still hoped you injoyed it. This story reminded me of Warrior by Demi Lovato, so I put the video on the side. If you haven't heard it, you should.

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