don't get excited or anything. i just don't want to lose this if i break the flashdrive again.

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"My God I missed you," I whisper into his neck.

When we finally pull apart, he holds me at arms length with a proud smile. "I brought someone with me. I hope that's okay, baby?" Justin looks so unsure of himself and a I reassure him with a nod.

From behind him, a green haired boy emerges. He's small, but confident; curious, but not unaware. He's got a beautiful smile.

"He wanted to come say hello," Justin tells me, intertwining his fingers with mine. "Even heaven can get a little boring sometimes."

"Is this why you were gone for so long?"

He bites his lower lip. "Later, baby. Okay? Not in front of the kid."

"Excuse you," Zachary says his first words and his voice is warm and deep, not what I expected from someone with such brilliantly coloured hair. "But I'm the older one. So don't even."

I watch Justin shrink behind my shoulder in play.

"Hello Damian." He offers his hand to me and I take it. Surprisingly, mine does not pass through his. Both the boys are solid and warm.

"Is that normal? For me to be able to touch you?" I look to Justin for an answer but he just motions to Zachary.

"Depends on how strong we are. The whole being dead thing has a lot of rules. It's actually more complicated than being alive."

"I don't need to know."

"We'll save it for a later time."

We take our seats beneath an old oak tree, Zachary perched on a protruding root and I on Justin's lap. At any moment I expect myself to fall through to the ground, but right now I'm enjoying his solidity.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" I ask, once settled into a comfortable position.

"Justin's told me all about you. He made you sound absolutely perfect, if I dare say so, and I just had to see for myself."

Justin nudges Zachary's foot with his ratty Converse.

"And." The green haired boy's eyes meet my own. "I wanted to thank you for taking care of my Timmy as best you could." He looks almost defeated and I know I've taken his job from him.

"You don't hold a grudge, do you? For what happened? I swear I didn't mean to let it happen."

"Of course not. There's no point in it. I side with Rachel-- you didn't force drugs down his throat."

"If he dies, won't you get to have him again?" I let out without realizing. The tensing in Justin's body and the look on Zachary's face make me regret it instantly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm just uncomfortable."

"As much as I would give almost anything up to have him with me, Timmy's life is something I wouldn't take from him. Nor anyone's life for that matter. We were not given the opportunity to visit the living to bring them back with us. We're here because we know how hard it is to say goodbye."

"You're very mature to have put up with someone so childlike," I state bluntly.

"Nice going. They're both going to hate you in no time at all."

"What's with you, Damian?" Justin cuts in. "You're so different now. Did something happen?"

I stare out into the rain before answering. I can't bear to look either of them in the eye. "Yeah. You left. And his boyfriend had to go and leave me too."

"Timmy's not gone yet, Damian. He's got a lot of fight still left inside him. You do too."

"I'm not really in the mood for a motivational speech right now." I take out another cigarette and offer the pack to my company. Both boys shake their heads and I light up alone.

"You know, I wouldn't have given him up to just anyone. We do have the capability to make your life miserable if you're doing something that displeases us." Zachary laughs. His laugh is comforting and unforced. It's very similar to Justin's, and I instantly crave the familiar feeling of the vibrations from his chest to my back. Sitting here with him is more painful than desired.

He continues. "I've grown rather fond of you, Damian. From everything I've heard from Justin and from watching the way you struggle even when you don't know what's worth struggling for. That's admirable. Suffering is not."

"I'm doing quite a bit of both, if you haven't already noticed."

"Don't interrupt. I'm dead; I know what I'm talking about. Shut up and listen."

I almost start a sassy remark, but the green haired boy has a playful crinkle by his eyes and a tongue exposed to the Ashland air.

"I'm only playing with you. But as I was saying, if I didn't want you in Timmy's life, there's ways for me to go about that. And I haven't."

"I appreciate it."

"Baby." Justin taps my shoulder and I turn.

"Yes?"

"We can't stay for much longer. And we're not going to be able to come back for awhile. Don't waste our time by smoking instead of laughing, okay?"

"I thought you liked the taste of smoke on me," I say, but allow him to stub out the half used cigarette on the tree.

"I do. But I like the taste of Damian better."

"Is this why you haven't visited in so long? You haven't been able to?"

"There's a lot of rules, beautiful."

"I don't want you to go. You either, Zachary. There's so much I want to know."

In an instant, I'm a child. I can't let either of them go. There's so many things I need to know-- things about death and things about us and things about Timmy-- there's just not enough time in the world.

"We'll be back, but you can't come looking for us. That's a waste of life that you're lucky to have."

I turn to Zachary. "What if he doesn't make it? What if his heart gives up?"

"As much as I've missed his smile, I'd be devastated to see him so soon."

"How can you both be so accepting of your fate? Don't you ever just want it back? Don't you get angry?"

Justin laughs, and Zachary follows. "Every fucking day, baby. But what are you going to do? We can't kill ourselves and wake up alive. There's not very much we can do about it."

"But you can watch us?"

"We do. Every day." The green haired boy stands and reaches for something in his back pocket. "These are for you. Just in case you lose sight of the path."

I take the brown paper envelope from his hand. Our fingers accidentally brush and already his are growing cold. Quickly the two boys are becoming less and less human.

"Can other people see you?" I shout out in a panic. "When you're warm and solid, can other people still see you?"

Zachary nods. "What I gave you will stay too. It's material."

"When will you be back?"

"Sooner than you think, baby." Justin spins me around to face him, leaving a gentle kiss on my lips. His cheek is cold as my palms brush over it.

"Don't leave me," I plead. "I've missed you. I don't want you to go."

"I'll be back. But listen to me. Please. Don't waste your life waiting for that day. Go out and experience the world. It'll make it all that much better when I do come again. And stop smoking those godawful cigarettes."

"Never." I grin.

He stands, and the two of them duck out into the rain, leaving me under the shelter of the tree. Already the water passes through their bodies and they shimmer in the way a human cannot.

"Goodbye, Zachary. It was nice to meet you," I say to the fleeting figure.

"And you as well, Damian. Take care of my baby for me."

"I will," I promise him. And to Justin, "I love you."

The wind picks up and sweeps them away, but I swear I could hear it whisper "I love you too."