[ no episode relation. this was originally at the beginning of season 6 but it's like 4k words so just broke it up for funsies.

and here are CONTENT WARNINGS for the funsies. there's some consensual blood drinking. haven't had that in a while. also some spice. not explicit spice, but if you don't care for it, then just don't read this chapter. nothing important happens. literally nothing to move the plot along at all. just spice and setting up for season 6 ]

♡︎

I CANNOT EMPHASIZE HOW LITTLE I WAS THINKING.

[ pre-season 6 ]

"Oh, this is the most fucked up thing this gang has ever done."

"Yeah, this kinda makes me wanna throw up."

"Okay, well, you two ran off with Angel for four months, so you didn't get a say," Xander said, crossing his arms.

Kitty and Teddy shared a doubtful look. "Yeah," Kitty said, uneasily. "But a Buffy sex bot is super skeevy."

"She's not - she doesn't — That's not in her program!"

After four months of mourning alongside Angel, Teddy and Kitty finally came home to Sunnydale. They dropped him off at some kind of monastery with monks. They knew things would be different when they returned, but they hadn't expected to see Buffy standing in the middle of the Magic Box when they arrived.

Teddy froze, and Kitty nearly passed out before Xander, Willow, Anya, and Giles rushed over to explain. It only took one week without the real Buffy for them to realize that chaos would take over the city if the demon world found out the Slayer was dead. They couldn't do all the slaying on their own, so Xander had the genius idea to have that creepy Warren guy make a Buffybot. She looked and sounded like the real Buffy and was just as strong as April had been. After delivering her, Warren apparently booked it out of town, meaning Willow was in charge of Buffybot's maintenance and programming — which did not include the standard sex functions.

Buffybot was in the back training room while they told the Cupids all this. Teddy requested they put her away because he couldn't stand looking at her. Kitty didn't hate Buffybot per se — the robot complimented her on her lavender colored sundress — but it still felt wrong.

"Where do you even keep her? Just in the basement?" Kitty asked.

"She, um, sleeps — charges — at the house," Willow told them. "Tara and I moved in to help take care of Dawn. Buffybot stays there so no one gets suspicious."

"Is that healthy for Dawn?" Teddy asked, frowning. "I mean, to have something that looks and acts like her dead sister roaming around the house?"

"Oh, and running off with Angel was a healthy way of coping?" Xander asked instead of answering the question.

"Dude, those are two whole different things," Kitty said, shaking her head. Then she sighed and looked at Teddy. "Okay, fine. Buffybot is the new member of the gang. Anything else we need to know?"

"Giles is planning on moving back to England!" Anya said accusingly while pointing at Giles.

The Cupids gasped and looked at him in disbelief. Giles quickly scrambled for the right words. "W-w-well, seeing a-as I've finished — well, you two left!"

"You can't just say we left in response to everything," Teddy said, shaking his head.

"Oh, Kitty, you were fired from the bakery," Willow added quietly.

"What?" she asked loudly. "Why?"

Xander scratched behind his head. "Now, don't hit me, but probably because, uh, you left for four months without calling out."

"Shit," Kitty muttered. "Teddy, we gotta get jobs again."

"Oh, Theodore wasn't fired from Willy's," Giles chimed in. "Said he was free to come back whenever."

"Ha, ha. Face!" Teddy exclaimed, rubbing it in as he laughed at Kitty. When he put his hand in front of her face, she shoved it away.

Kitty crossed her arms and pouted. "Not cool. How was I supposed to know there'd be consequences to my actions?"

"You didn't even once consider consequences?" Willow asked.

Kitty shrugged and glanced at Teddy. "T and Angel were hurting a lot. Then Angel looked at me and asked me to come with him because he didn't want to be alone. So, I thought to myself, 'Don't think, Kitty. Act.'"

"So, you weren't thinking when you ran to the other side of the world?" Anya questioned.

"I cannot emphasize how little I was thinking," she claimed.

"Well, not thinking got in the way of your job, and upset all your mourning friends and family," Xander said, still bitter. Then he grimaced. "And whatever Spike is. But please don't explain what kind of relationship that is, because thinking about it makes me sick."

"Oh, god. Was he mad at me?" Kitty asked, feeling horrible. "I didn't even say goodbye."

"Mad and sad, actually," Willow admitted. She lowered her voice. "I caught him crying one time when I went to ask about him babysitting Dawn."

"It's very likely he's in the same category as your job," Anya said bluntly. "Things you don't have anymore."

"No, but I was just - I had to - and Angel," Kitty stuttered out, scared tears pooling in her eyes.

"For all we know, he's back to hooking up with Harmony or some other demon from the bar," Xander said, shrugging.

"Come on, Xander," Teddy said, shaking his head. "I don't think he'd—"

"Uh, hello! Soulless monster," he reminded them. "But Kitty, we won't say 'I told you so' once you see he's moved on."

Kitty was up in an instant and ran out the door, mumbling to herself about finding Spike. As soon as she was out the door, Willow flicked Xander in the back of the head while Giles sighed.

"That wasn't very nice, Xander," Giles told him, crossing his arms.

"Payback for leaving her best friend for four months," he said, pouting.

"Well, she left to be with me and Angel, who are both her brothers," Teddy reminded him. "And what's payback?"

"Oh, Spike definitely hasn't moved on from Kitty," Anya informed him. "He's been all mopey and whiney, waiting every day for her to come back. I don't even think he's eating... well, drinking as much as he should be. It's kind of depressing to watch. Xander's just messing with her to get her worked up."

"But what if it leads to a fight between them?" Teddy asked, frowning.

"Good," he said, chuckling.

"Well, what if it leads to, like, super hot 'I'm so glad you came back to me' sex?" Willow then asked him.

"Ooh, or rough 'I'm gonna rail you up against this wall for leaving without saying goodbye' sex!" Anya added brightly. "Just because he's not drinking enough blood doesn't mean he's not still lean and muscular."

Xander's smirk instantly dropped and he cringed. "Oh, oh gross. I'm picturing it. Someone kill me. Kill me now."

Giles sighed heavily and removed his glasses to clean them. "I'll make it a murder-suicide."

♡︎

Xander's words had Kitty in a frantic downward spiral as she ran toward the cemetery where Spike's crypt was. It was daylight, so that's where he'd be. She was terrified that she'd find him with someone else or he'd tell her to just get lost upon seeing her.

It was true that while she was away, most of her thoughts were occupied with Buffy, Angel, and Teddy. But that didn't mean she didn't miss Spike terribly. She'd lay awake at night and fiddle with his ring — he never asked for it back that day on the Winnebago before Dawn was taken. They were already on a boat before Kitty realized it was still around her thumb, having made it through the incredibly hectic and horrifying week.

Kitty contemplated knocking when she arrived but thought better of it and just burst in — after all, what if he could tell it was her knocking and chose not to answer?

It was dark in the crypt, and not a single candle was lit. There were a few new pieces of furniture on the upper level, but nothing too grand. And Spike didn't appear to be present, which made Kitty frown.

"Spike?" she called, moving deeper inside. When there was no reply, she moved to the hatch that led to the lower level.

As opposed to the upper level, the underground portion of the crypt was much nicer, and it'd improved since Kitty last saw it. There were soft rugs, a fridge, lamps, a little bar cart. The biggest difference was the large bed.

And her vampire was passed out on it, a bottle of alcohol clutched in one hand and the other brushed against a familiar stuffed animal.

Kitty narrowed her eyes at the Love-a-Lot bear that had definitely been in her room last she checked four months ago. "Thief," she whispered more to herself.

For a moment, she just studied Spike, who was out like a light in just a pair of jeans. Even though he wasn't awake, she could tell he wasn't taking care of himself like usual, which made her frown. The roots of his naturally dark blonde hair had grown out at least half an inch, and his curls were messy. There was no paint on his nails. And he looked paler than usual, like maybe he wasn't drinking blood as much as he should've been to stay healthy.

"Spike," Kitty called softly, moving over to him. He stirred a bit at her voice. "Spike."

Slowly, Spike opened his eyes and soon found her standing near the bed, a worried look on her face. His blank expression didn't shift at seeing her, and his blue eyes were pale and vacant, not the familiar and vibrant shade she loved so much.

"You're not really here," he mumbled. "Not really her."

Kitty crouched down so that her chin was resting on the mattress by his head. "Yes, I am, Spike. Teddy and I went away, but we're back now."

He looked at her for a moment longer, but when she reached out to brush a curl off his forehead, he was up in an instant. Kitty nearly stumbled back as they both stood up. "You left," Spike said quietly, pain flashing through his eyes. Well, it was slower than a flash. "You left me."

Kitty looked down guiltily. "I-I didn't leave you. But, but Angel asked—"

"Right," he scoffed. Spike reached for the bottle of alcohol on his bed and took a swig. "Go back to Angel — anything Angel needs."

"Spike, don't be like that," she said, sighing. "He needed me."

"Angel's a big fucking boy. He'd've been alright," he muttered, turning away from her. "You just left, Kitty. Left Giles, all your friends. Me. Just so you could take a bloody selfish vacation."

"It wasn't a vacation! I spent the first two months crying my eyes out every day," she said, shaking her head. "And maybe it was selfish to leave, but I won't apologize. I've only ever been selfish twice in my entire existence — going with Angel and then when I let myself fall in love with you."

Spike whirled around, lifeless eyes boring into her. "Do you love me?" he asked almost accusingly.

Kitty took a step back in disbelief, hurt by the very insinuation. "How could you ask me that?"

"How can I not? How is you leaving me for Angel any different than Dru leaving me for that chaos demon?" he asked, his insecurities shining through.

"I am not Drusilla!" Kitty said, raising her voice. "And I didn't leave you for Angel. But he's my brother just as much as Teddy is, and he needed me. Now, I'm sorry I didn't come say goodbye but I'm not sorry we went with him."

"Well, it was hard to see it any other way but you leaving me," he muttered while turning back around and drinking some more.

"I'm sorry," Kitty said quietly, tears welling in her eyes. "I-I didn't mean to hurt you or make you feel like I didn't - like I don't love you, but I had to be there for my brothers when they were hurting. I understand though — I mean, I've been gone a long time. If you've moved on — if you don't want me anymore — I'll go."

Those few tears slipped down her cheeks as Kitty quickly turned to the steps leading out so that he wouldn't have to see her cry. But before she even reached them, a cold and familiar touch enveloped her wrist and stopped her from leaving. Kitty didn't turn right away and instead waited for him to say something. She felt Spike's needless breath on the back of her neck, and a chill ran down her spine.

"I will always want you," Spike whispered. Slowly, she turned to meet his gaze — his eyes were a little brighter now. "And I will never stop loving you, even if you scamper off for a few months."

Then Spike leaned down to kiss her softly and tenderly, wanting to savor the feel of her lips on his that'd he'd missed so much. Kitty melted against him and slid her hands up his chest and neck until she could wind her fingers into his soft curls. As they parted, Spike leaned his forehead against hers, shutting his eyes and basking in her calming touch.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Kitty whispered.

"It's all fine now that you're here," he said, his hands resting on her hips. "Really here."

"No, it's not," she said, shaking her head guiltily. "You're not taking care of yourself, Spike. I can tell. It's not just the hair and nails and alcohol. How often are you feeding?" As she asked, she brushed a thumb over his cheekbone that was a little too prominent for her liking.

Though he opened his eyes, Spike avoided meeting her questioning gaze while shrugging. "When I have to. Haven't had much of an appetite."

"Sit down," Kitty instructed while pushing him toward the bed. Spike didn't put up much a fight as he sat on the edge and looked up at her. "I'll fix you a cup of blood."

"Don't have any here right now," he admitted. "I'll go later when the sun's down."

"No, I'll go now," she said, beginning to back away. "The butcher's not that—"

"Please, don't go," he whispered, taking her wrist to pull her in between his legs so he could wrap his arms around her waist. "Don't leave again."

He was scared she wouldn't come back.

Kitty carefully brushed that stray curl off his forehead. "You have to eat something. I need my boy healthy."

"I'm fine," he assured her. "You're all I need right now. Don't go."

Spike's eyes fluttered shut as Kitty's thumb trailed from his forehead and along his cheek until she brushed it across his bottom lip. He'd been longing for her touch for months.

"What if you fed off me?"

His eyes flew back open at the question and he saw that Kitty was being sincere. "No," he said, shaking his head. "No, that was just a one-time thing."

"Two-time thing," she corrected, resting her hands on his bare shoulders. "If I didn't mind then, I certainly don't now."

As Spike looked up uncertainly at her, not wanting to hurt or weaken her, Kitty moved to sit on his lap. She leaned down to place gentle kisses along his jaw and neck and chest as she spoke quietly. And her hands delicately explored his torso, tracing the muscles.

"I didn't have my voice the second time. If I had, I think I would've begged you to kiss me," she whispered, remembering the second time he bit her. "Even then — even if I didn't want to admit it — I wanted you, so I settled for letting you bite me. I wanted you to want me too in any way I could get." Kitty continued until she reached his lips, and Spike hummed happily against her, gripping her hips a little tighter. "Please, eat something."

"You won't feel like I'm using you?" he asked, sounding a bit vulnerable. Of course, Spike wanted her blood. Her blood sang to him, called out for him, and he could always recall the impossibly sweet taste. But it wasn't something to take lightly, especially when she was the most important thing to him — so incredibly fragile and important.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "All of me is yours — my heart, my blood, my body." At that, Kitty leaned forward to kiss him again and as she did, she moved her hips against him. "Use me, Spike. For everything."

"Fuck, Kitten," he groaned at her words.

Spike slid a hand up her body to cradle the back of her head as he kissed her fiercely. Then he moved to her neck, and Kitty's pulse picked up in anticipation. With a single finger, he pushed the strap of her dress down. Her eyes fluttered shut as his nose brushed along her neck, taking in her scent.

"I love you," he murmured against her skin, kissing her neck lightly. "God, I love you so much."

When he bit her, a mix between a gasp and a moan escaped Kitty's lips, and it was music to Spike's ears. It had him longing to find out what other pretty little noises he could draw from her mouth.

A rush of heat and pleasure washed over Kitty, who relished the feeling of it. A fog settled in her mind, taking away all thoughts of anything that wasn't Spike and his burning touch and mouth on her neck. She found herself readjusting until one of his thighs was slotted in between her legs like it belonged there, and she moved rhythmically against it, adding to the feeling coursing through her.

By the time he'd finished drinking — not nearly as much as he had the last few times — Kitty was a mess, but he wasn't done with her. She whimpered almost pathetically when he licked from the base of her neck to her ear. All the while, she continued to rock against his jean-clad leg, and he gripped her hips so tightly there'd be bruises as he helped her speed up.

"Are you - do you feel better?" Kitty asked breathlessly. "Did I make - you feel better?"

"So good. You're so fucking good," he muttered, kissing her roughly. "Kitten wanna feel good too?"

Kitty nodded desperately while continuing to kiss him. And it was all teeth and tongue and whines blending into moans.

"Look at you," Spike whispered, a smirk on his lips as he watched her work against him. "Haven't even touched you yet — not properly — but you're ready to come undone on my leg."

"Please," Kitty whimpered, hiding her face in his shoulder, almost embarrassed by the way she kept desperately rocking against his thigh, the tension building.

"Maybe I shouldn't." Then Spike pulled her off his leg, earning a gasp from the loss of contact. Kitty tried to get back to him, but he kept her at arm's length, not caring how her knees buckled as he forced her to stand, holding her thighs in place. "Maybe you don't deserve it after leaving." Kitty frowned, but then let out a choked gasp as he moved his hand under her dress and ran a finger along her underwear delicately. His smirk grew at her reaction. "Maybe you do. You did apologize."

"I'll apologize again. And again." As she spoke, Kitty slowly dropped to her knees, never once daring to look away from him as she slid her hands up his thighs. "And again."

Spike eyed her hungrily, running his tongue across his blunt teeth. He moved quickly then, and Kitty could hardly process it until she was flat on her back on the bed with Spike above her now.

"You'll have time to apologize later. For now, I plan to convince you to never leave again. And again," he said, mimicking her. Spike's hands started at her knees and he pushed the hem of her dress up at a painfully slow pace, exposing more soft skin he planned to devour. He lowered himself in between her legs, kissing her thighs, drawing a soft sigh from her.

"And again."

♡︎

It was a day — a long day of tangled limbs and bruising touches and exploring each other's bodies while making up for four months of lost time — before Kitty left Spike's crypt. In fact, it was probably pushing more than twenty-four hours, though they couldn't think straight enough to keep count. The sun was only just coming up when Kitty quietly let herself into the apartment, thankful that Giles and Teddy were still asleep.

Except not.

"Want to tell me where you've been all day and night?" Giles asked, raising an eyebrow. He'd been sitting in his desk chair, seemingly waiting for her to come home — it was understandable after she'd only just got back to Sunnydale.

"Um," Kitty dragged the toe of her boot against the ground before lying. "With Teddy."

But then her fellow Cupid sat up on the couch he'd been laying on and looked at Kitty with an amused face, who he'd startled. "Wanna try again?"

Kitty did her best to not look at Giles' disapproving look or Teddy's shit-eating grin. They both were taking in her wrinkled and ripped dress, her messy hair, her swollen lips, the bruises in the shape of slender fingers adorned with chunky rings. The Care Bear in her hand was also puzzling to them, but overall, unimportant.

Thankfully, the bite mark was impossibly small and unnoticeable with all the other signs of what they'd done demanding attention.

"I, uh, was attacked," she continued to lie, "and almost died. So, thanks for looking for me, guys."

"Oh, I looked for you," Teddy said, crossing his arms over the back of the couch. "Came by Spike's place — many, many hours ago. Got exactly two steps inside before fleeing from the things I heard."

"Shut up, Theodore," Kitty hissed, her face flushing.

"Seriously, Katherine," he said, using her full name as well. "We aren't religious, but you should really think about praying because Jesus, you two are just so gross."

"See, now that doesn't really narrow down the time frame in which you showed up, so might need some clarification—"

"Oh, this is what every father wants to hear," Giles groaned, resting his head on the desk.

"G, the Ripper was a whore when you were my age, so you actually have no leg to stand on," Kitty informed him, putting her hands on her hips.

"Guess he passed the whore gene down," Teddy muttered, now looking at both of them with that smirk.

"That's not how genes work, T," she said, rolling her eyes.

"How would you know?" he asked. "You barely passed biology."

"You didn't take biology!"

Giles sighed again and reached for the glass of scotch on his desk, not caring how early it was. "What a wonderful little reunion."

♡︎

In Xander's apartment, he, Anya, Willow, and Tara stood in a circle, sharing nervous looks. They weren't anticipating the two Cupids coming back to town so soon.

"Should we — I mean, we're gonna tell them, right?" Tara asked anxiously. "Bring them in on this?"

"Yeah, I can't exactly keep secrets from Kitty," Xander muttered, scratching the back of his neck.

"We can't," Willow said, shaking her head. "We can't run the risk of them disagreeing and running to Giles. He'd put a stop to all this."

"But—"

"We're not telling them," she said, cutting off Anya. "Maybe Kitty could get behind it, but definitely not Teddy. He'd say it's unnatural. Not right. Not what she'd have wanted."

"Maybe it's not," Xander said quietly. They'd debated about it a lot. "Maybe it is."

"It feels wrong not telling them," Tara said, frowning.

"We just have to wait a few more weeks. Then it'll be over, and there'll be no more secrets," Willow said, taking a deep breath. "A few more weeks, and we'll have done it. We'll bring Buffy back to life."