[ this is a spike fic, so whatever happens between teddy and buffy will mainly be on the side and not focused on. but the second episode of this chapter is mostly teddy and literally no spike. and the chapter after has a teddy and spike take down riley team up

also, for my impatient babes... i'll just tell ya, chapter 31 is when big things finally happen. i'm working on 29 rn ]

♡

I DON'T THINK I HAVE TO WARN YOU TO NOT STEP OUT OF LINE.

[ 5.07 — 5.08 ]

Riley was the epitome of stealth and danger as he moved through the graveyard, sticking to the shadows and hiding behind headstones. He paused behind a marble slab and raised his fist, moving it down twice to signal to his compatriots.

The sound of Kitty crunching on a tortilla chip filled the night air, breaking the silence. She, along with Willow, Anya, and Xander were about twenty yards back from the soldier, not taking patrol nearly as seriously as he did. They were only filling in for Buffy for one night, who got injured the night before.

"What's with the hand move?" Xander questioned, not even bothering to whisper. "Does that like mean something?"

"It's code," Willow informed him matter-of-factly. "I think it breaks down to 'choo-choo'."

"Or it's like a truck," Kitty said, thinking of the eighteen-wheelers on the highway. "Like, 'keep on trucking'. So we keep following him."

"That, or wait here for him," Anya added.

They watched Riley's covert movements for a moment longer before Willow poked Xander. "Ask."

"Hey, Riley!" Xander yelled. He quickly mimicked the hand movement. "What's the — all about?"

Riley looked back at them in exasperation. "It means yell real loud so the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance."

"See, now he's all mean and sarcastic," Xander complained to Willow.

"That's because you were doing all the yelling, Mr. Stealthy-Pants," she said accusingly.

"It's their fault," Anya told Riley as Kitty shoved a handful of tortilla chips into her mouth.

"Guys, I'm thinking if we split up, we could cover more ground," Riley suggested, just wanting them to get away. "Tell you what? I'll take the cemeteries, you guys get the Bronze."

"Are we not being covert enough?" Anya asked.

"We're sorry!" Xander said, not wanting to split up.

"Sorry," Willow said, wincing.

"We'll be sneakier. Promise," Xander said just as more chips were crunched on.

"Okay. Just ditch the chips and watch my back," he instructed.

"Done," Willow said, reaching for Kitty's bag to throw it away.

Kitty clutched the bag of chips that she'd been holding since passing the Mexican restaurant on Main Street. Riley moved further into the cemetery, not paying them any more attention.

"If I can't eat on patrol, then I'm not patrolling," Kitty declared. "Buff lets me eat. I'll starve if I put these chips down."

"You ate a whole pizza an hour and a half ago," Willow told her.

Kitty shook her head. "So? I'm headed to check on G at the shop. Have fun with G.I. Joe over there."

As Kitty started to leave, Xander looked back at Riley. "You know what he's like? He's like a cat. You know, a big jungle cat. How come I'm not like that?" he asked them. "It's just so cool."

"I think you're cool!" Kitty called before shoving more loud chips in her mouth. "Have fun!"

♡︎

At the Magic Box, Buffy had Giles and Teddy searching tirelessly for ways that past Slayers died. She was all freaked after nearly getting bested by a single, novice vampire.

"Here's another one. Early 18th Century Slayer," Giles said, coming over with a book.

With a heavy, tired sigh, Buffy closed her current book and put it on a stack of others. "Good. Let's hope she'll be more helpful than this last one."

"Why?" Teddy asked, looking up from his book. "What does it say?"

"Same as all the others," she mumbled. "Slayer called, blah, blah, great protector, blah, blah, scary battles, blah, blah — oops! She's dead. Where are the details?"

"Details? Well, it says this Slayer forged her own weapons," Giles said, hoping it might help.

Buffy looked at the par and nodded. "Gotta love a gal with an anvil. But where are the details of the Slayer's last battle? You know, what made that fight special? Why did she lose?"

"You didn't lose last night, Buff," Teddy told her softly. "You just—"

"Got really close," she interrupted, frustrated with herself. "I slipped up, guys. I've been training harder than ever and still I... And there's nothing in any of these books to help me understand why. I mean, look, I realize that every Slayer comes with an expiration mark on the package. But I want mine to be a long time from now.

"Like a Cheeto," Teddy chimed in, making Buffy nod enthusiastically. She was going to make almost her exact same comparison.

Giles sighed and rubbed his head. Kitty and Teddy really were siblings.

"If there were just a few good descriptions of what took out the other Slayers, maybe it would help me to understand my mistake, to keep it from happening again," Buffy said, looking at Giles.

"Yes, well, the problem is after a final battle, it's difficult to get any, well, the Slayer's not... she's rather—"

"It's okay to use the D-word, Giles," Buffy told him.

"Dead," he said, frowning. "And hence not very forthcoming."

"Why didn't the Watchers keep fuller accounts of it?" Teddy asked him. As far as he could tell, all the past Watchers were experts at documenting things until the very end. "The journals just stop."

"Well, I suppose if they're anything like me, they just find the whole subject too—"

"Unseemly?" Buffy guessed. "Damn. Love ya but you Watchers are such prigs sometimes."

Giles looked at her with sadness in his eyes. "Painful, I was going to say." The Slayer and Watcher shared a meaningful look. For Giles to lose Buffy would be just as bad as losing Kitty. "But you're right. Accounts of the final battles would be very helpful. But there's no one left to tell the tales."

It was then that the bell of the shop door rang, and Kitty sauntered in. She had her bag of tortilla chips tipped upside down so she could catch all the crumbs.

As Buffy looked at her, she got an idea. Though it was a bit concerning that when she looked at Kitty, she thought of Spike as well.

"Kitty," Buffy said, sitting straighter.

"Yeah?" she asked while crumbling up the paper bag and tossing it in the recycling bin.

"Spike killed two Slayers. Did he ever tell you how?" she questioned.

Kitty frowned, not knowing why Buffy wanted to know about that. But she shrugged and nodded. "One in China and one in New York — he stole his coat from that one, BTW. Don't know the details, but he likes to brag if you do need them."

Buffy nodded and grabbed her coat off the counter. "Kitty, you're with me. Giles and Teddy, keep reading, please."

"Yay," Kitty said, smiling brightly. This was way better than sneaking around with Riley. "Adventures of Buffy and Kitty. This'll be fun."

♡︎

Spike probably didn't think it was fun when Buffy barged into his crypt and shoved him up against the wall. Kitty stood to the side with an apologetic and sheepish smile on her face.

"Ow!" Spike hissed on instinct. Then he looked at Buffy over his shoulder with a frown. "Wait. Not ow. You feeling all right, Slayer? This stuff usually hurts."

Instead of mentioning the injury, Buffy spun Spike around to face her. "Don't even start, Spike."

"What do you two want?" he asked, managing to glance at Kitty. But then Buffy pushed on his chest.

"Slayers. You killed two of them."

"I did," he said, eying her warily. He had no idea where this was going.

"You're gonna show me how," Buffy demanded.

Spike studied Buffy, finding it hard to believe she was coming to him for this. But after a promise of money, he agreed. Though that involved them going to the Bronze to discuss it. Spike didn't want Harmony coming in for the night and making things worse.

Buffy watched Spike with narrowed eyes as he quickly downed a beer that she begrudgingly bought him. Kitty wasn't quite as annoyed and just sipped on her Kitty Special.

"You know, they're quite a few American beers that are highly underrated. This unfortunately is not one of them," Spike said flatly.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Update, Spike. We're not here to discuss the fine choice of hops. It's about two Slayers — one in China during the Boxer Rebellion, one in New York." She held up the wad of cash Giles gave them but snatched it back as soon as Spike reached for it. "Both got killed by you. Tell the tale, you get the cash."

"Right. You want to learn all about how I bested the Slayers and you want to learn fast," he said, shrugging. "Right, then. We fought. I won. The end. Pay up."

"Spike," Kitty said, sighing. "You know that's not what she—"

"What does she want, Kitty?" Spike asked, tilting his head. "A quick demo? A blow-for-blow description you can map out and memorize? It's not about the moves, love. And since I agreed to this little proposition, we can do this my way. Wings."

"What?" Buffy asked. She glanced at Kitty, who only shrugged cluelessly.

"Spicy buffalo wings," Spike specified. "Order me up a plate. I'm feelin' peckish."

"Oh, wings sound good," Kitty admitted, nodding.

"How can you eat more?" Buffy asked, shaking her head. Kitty simply shrugged. After rolling her eyes, Buffy turned to signal a waitress. "Excuse me—"

However, the movement aggravated her injury, and she winced in pain. Spike raised an eyebrow while smirking. "As I thought. Some nasty thing got a taste of you."

"Don't get all excited," she muttered. "I'm fine."

"Oh, right," he said, scoffing. "Stuck in a dark corner with a creature you loathe, diggin' up past uglies, 'cause you're fine."

"Just tell me what I want to know," she demanded.

"I told you. No one's narrating on an empty stomach here," he said stubbornly.

Buffy shook her head in exasperation. "Were you born this big a pain in the ass?"

Spike smirked devilishly at the girls. "What can I tell you, babes? I've always been bad."

"No, you haven't," Kitty said, snorting. "This summer in LA, Angel said you were a posh rich boy that liked poetry."

Spike glared at Kitty for revealing that while Buffy snickered, trying to picture it. Kitty put her hands up in defense and slid off her chair. "I'll go get the wings."

When Kitty returned with the food, Spike launched into his story. Except it didn't start with the Slayer in China. He began telling them about when he was human and how he was turned.

Kitty's Cupid heart ached for him when he told them about declaring his love for a woman named Cecily that turned him down and said he was 'beneath her' before embarrassing him in front of everyone. That led to him fleeing the party he was attending, and Drusilla found him crying in an alley, where she turned him.

By the time he finished the beginning of his story, the wings were eaten and they'd moved over to the pool table. Buffy stood to the side, not caring enough to entertain him, but Kitty decided to play a round with him.

"So you traded up on the food chain," Buffy summarized. "Then what?"

Spike shook his head. "No, please. Don't make it sound like something you'd flip past on the Discovery Channel. Becoming a vampire is a profound and powerful experience. I could feel this new strength coursing through me. Getting killed made me feel alive for the very first time. I was through living by society's rules. Decided to make a few of my own. Of course, in order to do that, I had to get myself a gang."

"Drusilla, Angelus, and Darla," Kitty claimed, knowing about them as well. A small part of her recalled that day Spike had been suicidal and the apocalypse was upon them. She had told Spike that Angelus and Darla hated him, and Drusilla didn't actually care about his personality, leaving once she got bored of him. "Bet you had all kinds of fun."

Spike smiled bitterly at the memories. Then he went on about how Angelus turned him into a monstrous, killing machine — so much that they constantly had to move around because Spike attracted too much attention. He didn't understand what they were so scared of until they told him about the Slayer.

"After that, I was obsessed," Spike told them, leaning on the side of the table as Kitty went to take her turn at the pool table. "I mean, to most vampires, the Slayer was the subject of cold sweat and frightened whispers. But I never hid. Hell, I sought her out. I mean, if you're looking for fun, there's death, there's glory, and sod all else, right? I was young."

"So how'd you kill her?" Buffy asked.

Spike eyed Kitty, who was leaning down over the table and trying to line up her shot. "Funny you should ask," he said. Then Spike moved behind Kitty under the guise of helping her line up the shot. Kitty's breath hitched as she felt him pressed up close behind her, his hands sliding down her arms. He helped her knock two striped balls into a corner pocket.

But then the vampire moved her suddenly, flipping her around and grabbing her by the neck. Though Kitty trusted Spike, Buffy reached for the other pool cure and held it as a weapon, ready to save her if he made another move — chip or no chip.

"Lesson the first," Spike said, slowly dragging his eyes away from Kitty's face and to Buffy. "A Slayer must always reach for her weapon." Then his face shifted as the demon in him was released. "I've already got mine, and helpless little Kitten's in my grasp."

After a moment of Buffy glaring at him, Spike shook his head and his face returned to normal. Then he released Kitty, who took in a deep breath even though her breathing hadn't been restrained. He grabbed his pool cue from Buffy and began to take his turn.

"A good thing, too. Become a vampire, you've got nothing to fear. Nothing but one girl," Spike said, looking at Buffy. "That's you, honey. Back then... it was her."

The first Slayer Spike killed was one in China in the middle of the Boxer Rebellion. She had been young — younger than Buffy — it was clear killing her gave him a rush like no other. He couldn't wait to brag to Angelus and seduce Drusilla with the fact that he'd killed a Slayer.

"That was the best night of my life. And I've had some sweet ones," Spike recalled. Then he noticed the disgusted look on Buffy's face. Kitty, sadly, wasn't surprised. "What are you looking at?"

"You got off on it," she said in disbelief.

"Well, yeah. I suppose you're telling me you don't?" he asked, laughing. Kitty knew Buffy had to give him that one. Early on in her relationship with Riley, they had sex pretty much every night after killing something on patrol, the danger making them want it more. "How many of my kind reckon you've done?"

"Not enough," Buffy muttered.

Spike nodded, knowing it'd never be enough for her. "And we just keep coming. But you can kill a hundred, a thousand, a thousand thousand and the enemies of Hell besides and all we need is for one of us — just one — sooner or later to have the thing we're all hoping for."

"And that would be what?" Buffy asked, crossing her arms.

Kitty watched with a frown as Spike leaned in close to Buffy to whisper in her ear. "One... good... day." Buffy angrily shoved him back, causing him to laugh. "Hey! You asked and I'm tellin'. The problem with you, Summers, is you've gotten so good, you're starting to think you're immortal."

"Not really. I just know I can handle myself," she said confidently.

"Oh? Then how do you explain this?" he asked.

Then Spike reached out and hit Buffy in her wound. Both of them cried out in pain, doubling over. Kitty pulled Spike away from Buffy, knowing he could've made his point without hurting her. It wasn't like when he hit Tara.

"So that's it?" Buffy asked, catching her breath. "Lesson over?"

"Not even close. Come on," Spike said.

He picked up a pool cue and headed outside. When they reached the back entrance, Kitty stayed glued to the brick wall as Buffy faced off against Spike. This time, he planned to show off those moves that killed a Slayer.

"Give it to me," Buffy said firmly. Spike lashed out, and she easily dodged his blows before wrapping her hands around his throat and pinning him to the nearby fence. It only made Spike laugh. "What?"

"Lesson the second: ask the right questions. You want to know how I beat 'em?" he asked, and Buffy released him. "The question isn't 'How'd I win?'. The question is 'Why'd they lose?'."

"What's the difference?" Kitty asked, tilting her head. He won because they lost, as far as she saw it.

Spike moved suddenly, lunging at Buffy with the pool cue aimed at her throat. Though he stopped right before hitting her, and she didn't even flinch. "There's a big difference, loves."

Buffy kicked the cue from his hands. "How'd you kill the second one?"

"Hmm? A bit like this."

He threw a series of punches at Buffy, all without causing pain. She easily dodged all of them. Then she frowned. "That didn't hurt?"

"I knew I couldn't touch you. If there's no intent to hurt you, then that chip they shoved up my brain never activates," Spike said, walking around her. His eyes fell on Kitty, focused on the scar on her neck that he could barely make out. She instinctively brought her hand up to touch it. Then he was back on Buffy. "If, on the other hand—"

His face changed once more and he lunged at Buffy but was brought up short by a crippling wave of pain to his head. "See, now that hurt."

"Yeah? This hurt too?" Buffy asked before punching him in the gut and knocking him to the ground. "How'd you kill 'em, Spike?"

Spike jumped up and attacked, but Buffy flipped him over on the ground again. This time, she whipped out a stake and held it too close to his heart for comfort. He caught her wrist before she could kill him.

"Buffy," Kitty said in a cautious tone. "Can't tell you if he's dead."

"You're not ready to know," Spike told Buffy.

"I'm ready."

"Okay, then. Went like this."

Spike flipped Buffy up and off him before breaking down the moves from the fight in New York. Only five Slayers had been called in between her and Buffy. As the chip never caused Spike pain, Kitty knew there was nothing to worry about as she watched the demonstrated fight.

"The first was all business but the second, she had a touch of your style," he told Buffy. "She was cunning, resourceful — oh, did I mention? Hot. I could have danced all night with that one."

Kitty snorted at that, but Buffy rolled her eyes. "You think we're dancing?"

"That's all we've ever done. And the thing about the dance is, you never get to stop," Spike said while spinning the pool cue the same way he wielded a broken subway handrail all those years ago. "Every day you wake up, it's the same bloody question that haunts you — is today the day I die?"

The more Spike talked, the angrier Buffy got as she continued to counter his attacks. "Death is on your heels, baby, and sooner or later it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it... not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it."

Buffy had enough and backhanded Spike in the face, and he fell to the floor. She jumped on his chest and hit him a few times before Spike threw her off. Buffy rolled to her feet but Spike stayed on his knees — the same position he'd been in when he broke the last Slayer's neck.

"Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp. That look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know: What's it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see, that's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw or the kicks you didn't land. Every Slayer... has a death wish. Even you."

As Spike stood, Buffy kept her face blank. "Kitty, go inside."

Kitty frowned at the order. "Are... you going to kill him?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "But go inside. Get another drink or something."

Against her better judgment, Kitty listened to Buffy. The real reason she wanted Kitty to leave was because on some level, Buffy knew Spike was right. And she couldn't have any of her friends knowing she sometimes thought like that. How long before the thought of her family and friends wasn't enough to keep her fighting for her life? She didn't want Kitty around in case Spike spilled any other dark, deep thoughts that she was afraid would come to light.

Kitty didn't stay inside for long — just long enough to get another drink. She hadn't been able to pick up on Buffy's emotions and she was scared of what would happen if she stayed out there with Spike.

But she was inside long enough for the topic to turn to her, even if she didn't know it.

As Kitty stepped out of the Bronze and into the ally again, Buffy was harshly throwing Spike to the ground, a new fury in her eyes — like she'd discovered he was carrying out yet another evil plot.

"It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would never be you," Buffy said in disgust. Then she tossed the wad of crumpled up money at him. "You're beneath her."

As she heard her repeat the same cruel words Cecily had, Kitty spoke up. "Buffy?"

Buffy and Spike both looked at her, and Kitty could see that Spike looked near tears, and that worried her. "Buffy, what'd you say to him?"

"Let's go," Buffy said, grabbing Kitty's arm. She dragged her off much like she did Dawn when upset with her. "We're done with him."

"Buffy, what's — hey!" Kitty said, trying to get her arm free. She looked over her shoulder to see Spike watching her with a crushed look on his face. Then they rounded the corner and stepped onto the sidewalk, disappearing from his sight. "Buffy, what did he do to make you so mad?"

Buffy could easily list the ways, finally having put all the puzzle pieces together. She saw the way he leered at Kitty. She realized he had been watching her after finally making sense of those cigarette butts by the tree near her window. Going to Willy's bar. Asking her to his crypt at all hours of the day. Dancing at Tara's party.

Oh, Buffy knew and she didn't care for it one bit. And Spike didn't deny anything when she asked.

"Buffy—"

"Spike is a monster, Kitty!" she interrupted, practically seething. "Don't be an idiot and forget that."

Kitty blinked at Buffy, not understanding where all this rage came from after only two minutes alone with Spike. "I haven't forgotten, but why are you so upset? We knew he killed those two Slayers and liked it. Knowing the details doesn't change that or somehow make him worse."

"Don't defend him—"

"I'm not!" she insisted. Buffy was still forcing her farther from the Bronze and closer to her apartment. "I'd never defend the things he's done in the past. But he's different now, at least a little."

"Because of the chip," she reminded her. "Kitty, don't kid yourself into thinking he wouldn't kill you the moment it was out. If it ever quits working or gets taken out, he'll forget all about whatever friendship you think you have with him. He'd kill you and me and everyone we care about before running back to Drusilla. You know that's true."

"I - I know," Kitty said quietly, looking at the pavement sadly. Would he kill her? "But there's nothing wrong with treating him with kindness while he's like this."

"Yes, there is," Buffy hissed. "Because he doesn't deserve it, Kitty. So, just stop encouraging him."

"Encouraging him to what?" Kitty asked, completely confused by the statement. "Why are you even mad at me? Is there something I have to do to fix it?"

"Stop hanging out around Spike," she declared, crossing her arms as they stopped near the apartment.

Kitty scoffed at that. "We've had this conversation before. I know you all hate me hanging out with him, but it's not like I'm in danger. He's my friend."

"Well, you have shitty taste in friends."

"Yeah," Kitty said while storming toward the apartment, hoping Buffy wasn't following. "I'm starting to feel that way too."

♡︎

Spike sat in his crypt, ignoring every word that came out of Harmony's mouth about shopping as he sulked. His mind was back in his memories, the time with Buffy and Kitty bringing up conversations he'd never focused too hard on.

It was in South America, just before Spike and Drusilla called it quits a handful of months after Buffy stopped Angelus from ending the world. They were arguing. It seemed all they ever did was argue, and half of Drusilla's points made no sense to him.

"Why can't you forget her?" Drusilla asked Spike angrily.

Spike threw his hands up in exasperation. "You're the one who keeps bringing the bloody bird up! I haven't said a word about the bloody Slayer's gang or that little Cupid you're so obsessed with since we left California. They're all on the other side of the planet, Dru!"

"But you're lying!" she accused. "I can still see her flying all around you, laughing. Why? Why won't you push the wings away?"

"Could you make an ounce of bloody sense for once in your life, pet?" he asked in frustration. "If this is about working with the Slayer, I did it for you. You keep punishing me. Carrying on with creatures like this."

Spike shot a sickened glance at the chaos demon that was still standing around, a beer in hand. Ooze was dripping from his antlers as he looked between the fighting couple. "Okay, you guys obviously have a thing going on here."

"I have to find my pleasures, Spike," Drusilla said, frowning. "You taste like her — cherries and ashes."

"So this—" Spike gestured to the demon, not even questioning the taste part. "—is my fault now?"

"I didn't know she was seeing somebody," the chaos demon said to Spike, awkwardly shuffling. "I should take off."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, why don't you do that?"

The demon dared to blow a kiss to Drusilla before walking off. Drusilla stepped toward Spike and shook her head sadly. "You can't blame the ghoul, Spike. You're all covered with her. I look at you... all I see are wings around your heart. They've been there since the moment you stepped foot in that town."

Back in his crypt, Spike frowned. Drusilla had said that phrase so many times in their months in Sunnydale that Spike thought he'd go as crazy as her, not able to make sense of it.

Wings around his heart.

His mind flashed with images of wings he'd only got the chance to see twice. Looking back now, maybe Drusilla wasn't as insane as everyone thought. Because his heart was covered in Kitty, and Spike didn't ever want it to end.

♡︎

Teddy was not pleased as he stormed over to Buffy's home. Kitty came in for the night, clearly upset about Buffy's commentary on her friendship with Spike. Her feelings for Spike — even if no one else knew about them but Teddy — was a difficult topic for Kitty. She knew she shouldn't have liked him but she couldn't help it. And it didn't help that her friends were so critical of the way she treated him.

Kitty loved her friends and hated fighting with them, so she was obviously upset that Buffy wasn't pleased with her. So, if Kitty could shoot someone for Teddy without even knowing him, then he could make sure Buffy knew that Kitty was allowed to be friends with whoever she wanted.

However, as Teddy came around the back of his house and spotted Buffy, all his annoyance faded to worry. She looked terrified as she came out of her house and sat on the back steps, eyes brimming with tears. Then the oh-so-tough Slayer put her head in her lap and began to sob.

Teddy instantly walked to her with a questioning look on his face, and Buffy looked up when she heard him step on the grass. Her face was wet with tears, and more fell when she saw Teddy. She wasn't ashamed to cry in front of him.

"What's wrong?" Teddy asked softly, coming closer.

Buffy shook her head, not even able to get the words out. Not yet. "I don't want to talk about it," she said, her voice cracking. The reality of what her mother told her was only just now hitting her, overwhelming her.

"Is there something I can do?" he asked.

"Can you just hold me?" she asked, sounding incredibly fragile.

Teddy nodded before joining her on the steps. As he wrapped an arm around her, Buffy fell against him, hiding her face in his chest as she cried. And the two stayed like that for some time, Teddy silently comforting Buffy as she thought about her mother going back to the hospital to search for a tumor. It was a long time before Buffy spoke, and even then, she couldn't bring herself to talk about Joyce yet.

"Teddy," she said, sniffing as she looked up at him, resting her head on his shoulder. He nodded while carefully tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Buffy frowned. "I think Spike has a thing for Kitty."

Teddy managed an amused smile, knowing that wasn't the reason Buffy was so upset. But it'd at least help distract her. "Yeah, I kinda figured."

"I can't tell if I wanna stake him or throw up on him."

"Well, if you do the latter, make sure to invite us all — Xander will probably find a lot of joy in that."

♡︎

The following morning, Kitty managed to shrug off the bad mood Buffy left her in the night before. Teddy wasn't in the room when she woke up, but she didn't question it. She just went into the Magic Box with Giles, planning to hang around there all day.

Tara met them before the store officially opened and was very excited to see the new ad for the shop which made it into the Sunnydale Yellow Pages. It arrived in the mail just that morning, and Giles proudly showed off the one-third-page ad to the girls.

"Your one-stop spot to shop for all your occult needs," Tara read. Then she smiled. "Catchy."

"Think so?" Giles asked, hoping she meant it.

"It's fun in a challenging to read sort of way," Kitty admitted. "But I'm also a pretty slow reader, so that could just be me."

"But it's great," Tara added.

"Oh," Giles said, frowning.

Tara slid him the ad and he studied it closer while soundlessly mouthing the words to himself. Kitty didn't see why he was worrying about it now — it was too late to change it, as every household in Sunnydale would have it.

The front door opened, and Xander, Willow, and Anya entered. As soon as she arrived, Anya began to straighten the merchandise on the shelves that she passed.

"I'm just saying, I think it's rude," Xander muttered, referring to their ongoing conversation.

"I wouldn't call it rude," Willow said.

"Rude-ish. Rude-esque. Whatever you want to call it. When a person makes a 'destroy all vampires' date, it's simple courtesy to wait for your co-destroyers," he claimed. "Am I right, Giles?"

"I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening," he replied, making Kitty snicker. She wasn't really sure what they were talking about either.

"Oh, the - the new phone book's in with Mr. Giles' ad," Tara quickly told them.

Anya excitedly raced around the counter to check it out, shoving past Tara and Kitty. "Yay! Am I mentioned?" she asked eagerly.

"Not as such," Giles said, earning a disappointed, "Oh," from her.

Xander then began to explain what he'd been complaining about. "Okay, we were supposed to hook up with Riley this morning, to take on a nest o'vamps holed up in a tomb? So we get there, and guess what? Tell him, Will."

"Tomb go boom."

Kitty looked at them with wide eyes. "He blowed it up?"

"Captain America blowed it up real good," he said. "All by his lone wolf lonesome."

"Uh, rather reckless of him," Giles noted.

"I'd say very rather," Xander said.

Giles shrugged it off, though. "All that aside, I should think you'd be pleased to avoid the confrontation."

"That's what I've been saying. I mean, I for one didn't want to start my day with a slaughter," Anya spoke up. Then an excited look of realization crossed her face. "Which really just goes to show how much I've grown!"

"And for that, we're proud," Kitty said, grinning as she slid on top of the counter.

"Yes, well, um, in any event, uh, since you're all here, Tara and I could use your help researching Buffy's mysterious woman," Giles told them.

"Oh yeah, this has been fruitful," Xander complained, walking over to the table. "Trying to look up something you never saw and don't know the name of."

"Just do what I do: flip through the pages and look busy," Anya said. "Kitty taught me senior year of high school." Giles looked accusingly at Kitty at that, who quickly avoided eye contact.

"It'd be nice if we knew where she was, where she's hiding out," Willow said.

"No doubt lurking around some sewer or condemned church or rat-infested warehouse. You know, the usual haunts."

"At least Dracula had taste and a bitchin' castle," Kitty said. "Villains are more interesting when they're hot and have castles."

♡︎

It was mid-afternoon before Riley swung by the Summers' house. He was quite surprised to find it empty on a Sunday, knowing the gallery was closed. And Buffy told him she'd be home all day since she was still recovering from her injury. But he couldn't hear anyone on the bottom floor.

"Hello? Buffy?" he called, taking off his jacket. Then, when he thought he heard something upstairs, he went investigating. The ex-soldier was surprised to find Teddy standing in Buffy's room. One jacket was slung over his arm while he held up a sweater of Buffy's. "What are you doing in here, Ted? Why are you in Buffy's bedroom?"

Teddy turned and raised an eyebrow. He didn't know why it sounded like Riley was accusing him of something. "I'm just picking some stuff up for Buffy."

The hospital was colder than they expected, so Buffy asked Teddy to go back to the house and grab something warmer for her and Dawn, not wanting to leave while their mother got a CAT scan.

"Right, and you do everything Buffy asks," Riley said, sounding a bit bitter.

If Riley was honest with himself, he was jealous of how much time Buffy had been spending with Teddy. Since he was doing this Watcher-in-training thing, they spent hours together each day. And if Riley had a nickel for every time Teddy's name came up in conversation, he'd have a lot of fucking nickles. So, yeah, he was a little threatened when he saw Teddy roaming around Buffy's room, seemingly doing favors for her.

"I mean, I'm not not going to get her what she needs," Teddy said, not understanding why Riley was being so weird. Honestly, Riley had been weird since the summer ended, in more ways than one.

"Well, I'm the boyfriend, so I think I can handle what she needs," he said defensively.

"Right," Teddy said, nodding. Then he narrowed his eyes at Riley. "Which is why you're with her at the hospital right now, giving her what she needs?"

Riley opened his mouth to ask what he was talking about, but Teddy kept going, now looking almost wrathful.

"Wait, that's right. You're not there. Because last night, while Buffy was crying in my arms over her mother's health, you were probably at Willy's" he said, chuckling humorlessly.

"Wh - how—"

"I work there, Riley, but you know that because you only go in on my off nights," Teddy said. "Being my friend and the Slayer's girlfriend, the bartender usually calls me. And he's called me a lot this last week. Said you were chatting some vampire chick up last night. Bought her a drink."

"I wasn't chatting anyone up," Riley said, glaring at him. "She sat next to me. We talked. It's none of your business."

"You're right. It's not," he admitted.

Then Teddy stepped forward, not very intimidated by Riley, as they were roughly the same height and Riley didn't have those Initiative drugs to make him stronger anymore. And both men knew Teddy's been training with Buffy every day. He may have looked harmless in his cropped t-shirt and baggy overalls, but Teddy wasn't nearly as helpless as the other Cupid in the gang.

"I don't think I have to warn you to not step out of line," Teddy said, keeping his voice low.

"Why? Because you'll have to teach me a lesson if I do?" he asked, mockingly.

"No. Because she will," he said, referring to Buffy. "She doesn't need anyone's help in that department."

Riley clenched his jaw in anger, not trusting himself to say anything at the moment. After looking him up and down, Teddy shoved Dawn's coat and Buffy's sweater into his chest with such force that Riley nearly had to take a step back to steady himself.

"Go give her what she needs."

♡︎

Teddy was not in a good mood when he came into the Magic Box. Kitty tried to get it out of him, but he kindly asked her for some space before going to the back room to do some training. While Kitty was worried about him — as Teddy was rarely in a bad mood — she still had things to do. While everyone else was researching, she was moving around the shop and doing little things like restocking shelves and pointing customers in the right direction. That way, she could still listen in on what the others were talking about.

"I just wish we knew what we were dealing with," Willow said, finding nothing yet again in the book she was reading. "It feels like we're going around in circles."

"Our circles are going around in circles. We've got dizzy circles here, Giles," Xander complained. But Giles was too busy ringing up someone's purchase.

"Maybe she's not in the books," Tara said.

"Have I been reading for nothing?" Kitty asked, narrowing her eyes at the books on the table as she walked past.

"What do you mean?" Willow asked Tara.

"I mean, what if she's not a demon or sorceress or spirit or whatever these books cover? What if she's something else altogether?"

After telling the customer goodbye, Giles left the counter and joined them. "Something new, you mean?"

"Something old. So old it pre-dates the written word," Tara told them.

As they went on, Kitty moved to the front of the shop, knowing Giles would fill her in if they found anything actually important. As she was rearranging the sale table, a very pretty woman came up to her. She had a few shopping bags from designer stores, seeming to have a whole day of shopping planned.

Of course, Kitty had no idea that she was speaking to the very unnamed evil they were searching for, and she was called Glorificus — Glory for short.

"Hi," Glory said, smiling. "Could you be a doll and show me where I could grab a Sobekian blood stone?"

Though Kitty didn't know what a Sobekian blood stone was, they kept all the stones and rocks and gems and crystals in the same place. "Yeah, just this way," she told her. As they walked to that corner of the store, Kitty glanced at the woman. "I adore your dress, by the way."

That made Glory grin as she looked down at her leather red dress vainly. "Thank you! I just got it — Prada."

"It's just to die for," Kitty said, still looking at it. "I could never pull something so hot off."

"Oh, stop, sweetie. You're a dish," she complimented. As they stopped by the rock section, she immediately spotted the stone and grabbed it. "Now, Khul's amulet? You got that?"

"Gold with a green emerald carved like a bug?" Kitty asked for clarification. Glory nodded. Kitty didn't necessarily know the names of things, but she knew what they looked like. "Yeah, right over here."

"Awesome. That's all I need," Glory said, pleased that it was in stock. "But seriously, why couldn't you pull this off?"

"Oh, I just don't wear a lot of red, tend to prefer pink," Kitty told her. "I just think I'd look silly — like I'm trying too hard to be hotter than I really am."

The only time she wore red was when she'd had Spike's shirt on.

"Tell you what," she said as they stopped by the amulet. After she grabbed it, she reached into one of her shopping bags — this one said Gucci. She pulled out a red satin dress with thin straps. "Dollface, this will fit you like a glove."

"Wait, you wanna give me — oh, no," Kitty said, shaking her head with wide eyes. "No, I can't just, just take that."

"Don't sweat it. Think of it as your tip," she told her, shrugging. "Besides, I have the money to replace it."

Besides, if the amulet and Blood Stone worked as they should, Glory couldn't exactly bring the dress with her when she ripped a hole in the universe and opened up a hell dimension on earth.

"Look, you got a boyfriend?" Glory asked her. Kitty shook her head, surprising the ancient god. "Um, how? Anyway, slap this puppy on and hit a club. You'll get one then. Swear."

Kitty eyed the garment. A small part of her wondered if someone, in particular, might like it. "You really think I could make it work?"

"Like I said," Glory stated, shoving the dress into Kitty's hand. "Total dish."

"Thank you," Kitty said, finally accepting it. "You're seriously so cool."

Glory shrugged with a smile. "You just speak my language — fashion," she said. "Now, I'm gonna check out. You stay cute, cutie."

As Glory walked over to Giles to check out, Kitty looked at the expensive dress in her hands. She could tell it would hug her form and drape nicely. Though Kitty wasn't sure where she'd wear a dress so nice, as it was far too much for a regular night out at the Bronze. But Valentine's Day was always an option, as Kitty liked to look her best on that day.

Kitty looked back up as Glory finished checking out. "Bye," Kitty said, grinning. "And thank you. Hope your spell goes well!"

"Me too," Glory said, excitement coursing through her. Then she was gone.

With a big grin on her face, Kitty walked back to the research table, gently folding the dress over her arm. Giles came over as well, continuing the discussion about the mysterious woman that was so dangerous.

"She could be anywhere," Giles said, frowning. "But if she is as powerful as, uh, Buffy says, I imagine it won't be long before she makes herself known."

♡︎

By lunchtime, Anya was anxious to look through the receipts. Making money excited her so much that she couldn't wait until the end of the day. She had to check the cash register every few hours as well. She was happy to look over all the items that would need restocking, but then she frowned when she saw a worrisome combination sold to one person.

"Hey. Hey!" Anya said loudly, her eyes glued to the paper. Teddy had to cover his ears when she began shouting only a foot away from him. "HEY! HEY!"

Giles rushed over with a large false smile. "Anya, your heys are startling the customers," he muttered, wanting her to be quieter.

"And-and pretty much the state," Xander added as he, Kitty, Willow, and Tara came over as well.

"You sold someone a Khul's amulet and a Sobekian blood stone," Anya said accusingly.

"Yes, I believe I did," he said, examining the receipt.

"I helped her pick them out," Kitty said, smiling proudly at the fact that she helped make a sale. "And she was super nice."

"Are you two stupid or something?" Anya asked, glaring at them both.

Giles raised a challenging eyebrow. "Allow me to answer that question with a firing."

"She's kidding!" Xander quickly said before turning to his girlfriend. "Ahn, we talked about the employee-employer vocabulary no-nos — also employer's daughter. That was number five."

Anya snatched the receipt back from Giles. "You never sell these things together, ever! Bad news! Don't you know about the Sobekites?"

"Oh! I do," Willow said, perking up. "It was an ancient Egyptian cult, heavy into dark magic."

"And the Khul's amulet, wasn't that a transmogrification conduit?" Tara asked.

"Damn straight!" Anya confirmed.

"See, now I understood some of those words," Kitty said. She still didn't get what the big deal was. She wasn't going to think ill of the dress lady without good reason.

"Be that as it may, I still see no reason for concern," Giles said, thinking the same as Kitty. "I mean, the-the Sobekian transmogrification spells were lost thousands of years ago. And besides, the young woman to whom I sold them would have to have had enormous power—" Giles stopped suddenly, making the connection.

"Young woman?" Willow asked carefully.

"Oh, dear lord," Giles said under his breath.

Everyone looked alarmed except Xander and Kitty. "What?" Xander asked cluelessly.

"Yeah, what?" Kitty asked, pouting. "I liked her. She gave me a super cute dress just because I complimented her appearance."

Teddy sighed heavily and rubbed his forehead. "Well, Buffy did say she thought Kitty and the woman would bond over fashion."

"She was the ancient unnamed evil that we're so worried about?" Kitty asked, now the right amount of alarmed. "But she was so nice and fashionable."

"You thought Drac was nice and fashionable," Anya reminded her.

"Shit. Yeah, you're right," Kitty muttered. Then she shared a worried look with Giles. "I'm thinking joint coffin for when Buffy kills us? Or do you want your own? It might get crowded."

♡︎

Giles and Kitty were dreading Buffy's arrival, knowing she'd be furious at them. But none of them — except Teddy — were expecting the news she brought with her. Joyce was sent to the hospital for observation. After the doctors found a shadow on her CAT scan, they decided to take a biopsy and send it off. It was horrible news, and Buffy was desperate to help her mother.

"So I figured there has to be some kind of mystical cure, right? I mean, like, a potion, or a spell or something. We have to look," Buffy told them all.

"We can look," Willow said hesitantly. "I mean, we will, but I haven't seen anything."

"The truth is, uh, the mystical and the medical aren't meant to mix, Buffy. Sorry, um, the human mind is very delicate. Too much can go wrong," Giles explained.

"Yeah, I've heard stories about people trying healing spells. If we did something, it could make things a lot worse, Buffy," Tara told her, shaking her head.

"We've done just about enough making things worse for one day, haven't we?" Anya muttered.

Everyone, especially Giles and Kitty, looked guilty aside from Buffy, who was confused. "Why? What do you mean?"

"Uh, nothing. Anya broke a... bippity boppity boo. A thing," Xander lied badly. "Don't worry about it."

Anya looked at him sharply. "I did not! I didn't break—"

"Anya," Giles interrupted quickly. "Buffy doesn't need to hear about your... clumsiness right now."

Anya sighed in annoyance. "My clumsiness. I mean, that is so—" She finally caught all the warning looks they were all sending her. "—like... me. Slippery, slippery... butterfingers."

Buffy wasn't fooled for even a second. "What happened?"

"Nothing to concern you, uh—"

"Giles!" she interrupted impatiently.

Giles sighed heavily. "The, uh, demon woman was here, the one who attacked you."

"It's no biggie," Willow said as Buffy looked alarmed. "She-she just got an amulet and a blood stone."

"That can create a monster," Anya added.

"Okay, biggie," Willow admitted.

"My god, are you guys okay though?" Buffy asked, searching for injuries. Everyone seemed fine and the shop wasn't torn up. "I mean, did — no one got hurt, right?"

"No, uh, no violence to speak of," Teddy said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Giles and Kitty couldn't even look at Buffy.

"Okay, so, that's good," Buffy said, not understanding the guilty looks. "How did she get away with this bad mojo stuff?"

"She stole them."

"Giles sold it to her."

Kitty and Anya spoke at the exact same time, one clearly lying.

"And Kitty helped her find them," Anya added.

Buffy looked at the two accusingly. Kitty put her head down and covered it with her hands while Giles tried to defend them. "I, I, I... I didn't know it was her! I mean, how could I?"

"She was hot!" Kitty insisted. "You know they're my weakness."

"Same," Xander mumbled.

"If it's any consolation, I may have overcharged her," Giles told Buffy sheepishly.

"Anya figured out what the demon lady's up to," Tara said, looking on the bright side.

"Yeah, a few thousand years ago there was this cult, the temple of Sobek," she said.

"Sobek?" Buffy asked.

"Reptile demon. Sobekites were reptile worshippers," she explained.

"Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers," Xander muttered.

"Great. Thank you very much for those nightmares," Anya said angrily.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Kitty shook her head at her best friend. "And you made fun of my raccoon fear."

"Anyway," Anya said, getting back on track. "Their high priest Khul had great mystic powers. He, um, forged an amulet with a transmogrifying crystal."

"Transmogrifying is changing a living thing into a different kind of thing," Willow told Buffy.

"We've managed to decipher the markings that were on the blood stone that I sold — that she left with," Giles said, fumbling with the words. "Um, cobra. She's going to transmogrify a cobra."

"Okay, so she's making a monster. What for? What does it do?" Buffy asked.

"That's the part we're working on it," he told her.

"Well, you keep working on it. I'll go kill it," she said, getting up to leave.

Both Teddy and Giles rushed after her. "Buffy," Giles called.

"What? I'm going," she insisted.

"Buffy, this chick creamed you last time," Xander said, as if she needed reminding.

"That's because I wasn't ready for her last time. I am now."

"But you—"

Buffy cut Willow off. "But what? Will, I can't just sit here. I have to do something."

"Then I'm coming with you," Teddy said, grabbing his coat. "You're not going alone."

♡︎

As Buffy and Teddy searched pet shops and the zoo for the demon woman, the others remained at the shop, continuing to work or read. Some woman was asking Giles about the kind of CDs they carried.

"Aleister Crowley Sings? Um, sadly, no, I-I don't carry that, but I do have some very nice whale sounds," he told her. Then he saw that Riley entered the shop. "Oh, excuse me for a moment."

"Where's Buffy?" Riley asked, looking around.

"Um, she-she left a while ago," Giles told him.

"What?" he asked, clearly frustrated with his inability to find her. "Where?"

"That creepy demon woman's conjuring some kind of monster," Xander told him, who'd wandered over.

"And you let Buffy go after her? Alone?" Riley asked accusingly.

Giles didn't really appreciate his tone. "Uh, 'let' isn't really a factor when she sets her mind to something, you know that." Then he saw a customer at the counter and hurried off.

"Besides," Kitty spoke up, leaning against a bookshelf. "She's not alone. She took Teddy with her."

Riley clenched his fist in anger, which went unnoticed by the others. "Right. Teddy," he muttered. Then he shook his head. "She'll get herself killed. It's crazy."

"Yeah," Xander agreed. "Crazy. Going off alone, half-cocked, instead of waiting for much-needed backup... charging in with a big old hand grenade — oh, wait!"

Riley at least managed to look guilty. "This is different."

"Yeah, it is. Buffy needs something she can fight, something she can solve," he told him. "I don't know what kind of action you're looking for. Do you?" Xander stared Riley down, who then looked away. "Hey, I'm not trying to get—"

"It's cool," Riley told him.

"You okay?" Kitty asked him, frowning.

Riley nodded. "Just a little crazed."

"I hear ya," Xander said.

"If, uh, she needs me..." Riley trailed off as he moved to the door, not knowing what to say. He knew Buffy wouldn't need him.

♡︎

Everyone was relieved when Buffy and Teddy called from the hospital to let everyone know they were alive. Though they were both pretty banged up from the fight with Glory at the zoo. They also hadn't stopped her from creating her snake monster. As Joyce would be waking up soon from her biopsy, Buffy waited for a little while before returning, wanting to be with her.

But eventually, she and Teddy returned to the Magic Box. Everyone was there still, including Dawn, who was working on homework. When she saw Buffy walk in, she jumped up and hugged her tightly.

"Is she awake yet?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah. She's waiting for us," she said.

"Can we take her home now?" she asked, looking at Buffy hopefully.

Buffy tried to smile — she hadn't told Dawn how serious the hospital visit and results were. "We'll see. Go get your stuff."

As Teddy went to help Dawn pack away all her homework, Buffy sighed and moved to the counter where Giles and Willow were standing. Kitty was tiredly laying on the counter, ready to go home and sleep.

"So, any monster reptile sightings?"

"None," Giles said.

"Tara and I did a mini-patrol earlier, but biggie snake was nowhere to be—"

Willow was cut off by the giant snake creature bursting through the window. Before anyone could react, it smacked a heavy display case and it toppled over onto Buffy, knocking her to the floor. Then the snake moved right toward Dawn, who screamed fearfully. The beast loomed over her with red eyes.

Teddy quickly grabbed Dawn and pulled her behind him, but it was too late, as the snake saw what it came for. It turned and slithered quickly out the way it came in.

"Dawn, you okay?" Teddy asked, looking at her.

"Why was the big snake afraid of Dawn?" Willow asked Tara, not sure why it left.

Giles rushed to help Buffy stand as she freed herself from the case. She frantically looked at him, Teddy, Dawn, and then back at Giles. "It knows!"

Buffy turned and ran after the snake monster. Giles and Teddy shared a worried look before following after her and the beast. Kitty and Xander both moved to Dawn's side, who was still shaking in fear.

And everyone was wondering why the hell Glory's monster took one look at Dawn before fleeing.

♡︎

It was late when the phone in Kitty and Teddy's bedroom rang. Kitty never heard anything when she was asleep, so Teddy had to jump off the top bunk and answer it. He wasn't thrilled about being woken up — it'd taken a lot of effort to kill the snake monster, and he didn't physically bounce back quite as well as Buffy.

"Hello?" Teddy answered sleepily, holding the Garfield phone to his ear that Kitty was very proud to own.

"Hey, Teddy. Sorry to call you on your night off." It was Joey, the bartender from Willy's on nights when Willy wasn't working himself.

"What's up?" he asked, glancing at the alarm clock. It would still be another four hours before the bar emptied out for the night. He was hoping Joey wasn't calling him in for a shift.

"You said you wanted me to keep an eye on that soldier guy," Joey said.

"Yeah, just if he's doing anything worse that day drinking," he told him, waking up a bit more.

"He was talking with that same vamp lady from a few nights ago," he informed him. "This time he left with her."

"What? To stake her?" Teddy asked. He didn't think Riley would resort to luring victims out of Willy's — that could quickly get him banned.

"Oh, he staked her, alright," Joey said, sighing. "Cameron saw when he was taking the trash out. But, uh, before he did that, he didn't seem to have a problem with letting her sink her teeth into him."

"He let her bite him?" Teddy asked in alarm.

"Seemed to be enjoying it, too," he said. "Look, I gotta get back to work, but maybe the Slayer needs to watch her man. Might be a junkie in the making, that one. We see it a lot here."

Teddy's grip on the phone tightened as he grew angry at Riley. "Uh, thanks, Joey. I'll keep an eye on him. If Buff needs to step in, she will."

"God, I can already imagine the ass-kicking G.I. Joe is gonna get if she does."

"You said it."