OH, BRAD FROM HIGH SCHOOL SOUNDS TERRIFYING.

[ 5.02 ]

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and — well, I have bacon but you have blood."

Spike couldn't help but smile as Kitty came into his crypt, having woken up early to eat breakfast with him. She had a thermos of blood in one hand and a bag from Mcdonald's in the other. He stayed in his armchair but reached out for the mug once she was close enough.

"Morning, Kitten," he greeted. "Thanks for breakfast."

"Morning. Though, I guess you're gonna go to bed as soon as I leave, so, I guess this is dinner for you," Kitty said, sitting on the floor in front of his coffee table so she could pull out her order of pancakes, eggs, and bacon. "Teddy said he saw you at Willy's last night with Clem. Please, tell me you're not in any serious cat debt."

"No, not in cat debt," Spike said chuckling. Then he took the top off the thermos and drank from it. He found he was in for a surprise as he did. "Did - did you put Weetabix in this?"

"Of course," she said, not thinking anything of it as she put syrup over her food. "I know it's been a few months, but I wouldn't forget how you like it. G is gonna be pissed when he realizes I swiped the last in the box."

Spike stared at Kitty fondly, who was all too unaware of it. Doing things because he liked them just came naturally to her. She didn't give something like that a second thought as she continued talking.

"Can't stay super long. Gonna go school shopping with Dawnster," she told him.

"Ah, how is the little Niblet?" Spike asked, moving past the small moment of affection that washed over him.

Kitty snorted and shook her head. "Don't call her that — we all know you like Dawn too much to eat her."

"It's a term of endearment," he said, rolling his eyes playfully. "She's Niblet just like you're my Kitten."

It was a good thing Kitty was chewing or she wouldn't have been able to hide her smile. His Kitten.

"Well, Niblet is doing fine," Kitty told him. "She's ready for school to start back. We can all tell she's got a fat crush on Teddy. It's cute."

"Not worried about competition?" Spike asked teasingly. Of course, inside he was filled with jealousy each time. He never was around Kitty and Teddy together long enough to determine if they had any romantic feelings for each other.

It was a laughably wrong assumption, though Kitty was too oblivious to even say it was wrong. To think that anyone thought there was something romantic going on between the two Cupids never crossed her mind.

"She does steal a lot of his free time," Kitty said, shrugging. "But any time I demand attention, Teddy gives it to me. Everyone does, actually."

She never had to demand Spike's attention because she always had it.

"Well, you're hard to deny," he said, watching her fondly again.

"I know," she said, grinning. Then she tore her hash brown in half and held it out to Spike, knowing he liked them even if it wouldn't give him any nutritional value. "Not exactly sure what I'll be up to, but I might swing by again tonight. Don't wait around though if you've got plans."

Of course, he'd wait around. Spike would always cancel plans on the off chance that Kitty would come by and ask to hang out. He'd gone a summer without her and wanted to make up for all that lost time.

♡︎

Kitty didn't think that it was very fair for Buffy to snag the front seat of the car while she, Teddy, and Dawn had to squeeze in the back. Giles finally replaced the car that Spike wrecked and decided to buy a red convertible, which he so kindly offered to drive them all shopping in. Half the afternoon would be dedicated to school supplies shopping and the other half to buying Slayer and Watcher supplies for Buffy and Teddy.

While enjoying all the space she had up front, Buffy was complaining about some disagreement with Riley. They weren't spending quite as much time together now that Buffy was determined to take her Slayer stuff seriously. She wanted to find a way to balance out her two lives.

"Well, I sympathize with you, Buffy, I truly do," Giles told her. "But I'm certain that Riley understands better than anyone else the importance of training. You can't allow personal concerns to distract you from—"

Dawn suddenly unbuckled and leaned forward to change the radio station. After all, it wasn't exactly fitting to be riding in a cool sports car with classical music playing. But Giles quickly got annoyed.

"Dawn, will you stop fiddling with the radio and sit down?"

Dawn sat back and sighed in annoyance. Kitty leaned in while eying the radio. "We'll try again in a minute. I need some Backstreet Boys."

"No, way. NSYNC," Dawn told her, shaking her head.

"I will push you out of this car," she threatened.

Teddy rolled his eyes and slung his arm across the backseat. "I won't let Kit throw you out of the car."

Dawn leaned against Teddy while smiling smugly at Kitty. The younger girl stuck out her tongue and Kitty returned the gesture childishly.

"There's a lot of books on this list," Buffy said from the front. "Any of them come on tape? You know, read by George Clooney or someone cute like that?"

"You're entering a new realm here, Buffy. One for which I myself am not entirely prepared," Giles admitted. "Are you ready for this commitment?"

"I'm just kidding! Hey, this Betty's ready. Color me committed," she said, nodding.

Then the car engine sputtered as Giles tried to shift gears — the problem being that he wasn't supposed to shift gears anymore. "Blast!" he exclaimed, putting it back in drive.

"You put it in neutral again, huh?"

"I'm just not used to this automatic transmission. I-I loathe this sitting here, not contributing," Giles complained. Kitty and Dawn, who both loved not contributing or putting in unnecessary effort, looked at Giles, unimpressed with his opinion. "No, i-it's not working out."

"Giles, are you breaking up with your car?" Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, it did seduce me, all red and sporty!" he informed her matter-of-factly.

"Little two-door tramp," Buffy said. Giles shot her a sour look while Kitty and Teddy snickered.

"T and I wanted a minivan painted to look like the Mystery Machine," Kitty chimed in. "Much more appropriate for transporting members of the gang."

"And then we could get a dog," Teddy added, grinning.

Giles ignored them, as he always did when cool cars or potential pets were brought up. "I-I-I don't know, I just - I was so at loose ends, I-I found myself searching for... some way of feeling more—"

"Shallow?" Buffy offered.

"Perhaps, as I am to act as your Watcher again, a modicum of respect might be in order," he muttered.

"Do I hafta?" Buffy whined.

"I'm serious, Buffy, there's going to be far less time for the sort of flighty, frivolous—"

Dawn cut off Giles, pointing down Main Street as she spotted two familiar faces. "Hey, there's Willow and Tara!"

"Ooh, they haven't seen my new car," Giles said, forgetting all about respect and not being flighty. All the others rolled their eyes as he pulled the car over next to the coffee shop.

"Hey Giles, sharp wheels," Willow said, grinning.

"The rest of the car's nice too," Tara added with a smile.

"Handles like a dream," Giles lied as they all piled out.

"Where are you guys heading?" Buffy asked them.

Willow nodded down the street. "Magic shop. I have some charms on backorder."

"Willow, hi," Dawn greeted, grinning brightly.

"Hey, Dawny!" Willow hugged her tightly. "How's my favorite chess partner? Still leading with your knight?"

"Nerds," Kitty whispered under her breath. Teddy was the only one who heard and gently elbowed her. It was an active fight to constantly make sure Xander and Kitty weren't being bad influences on Dawn. Willow and Teddy, thankfully, were the teenager's favorite, so she still liked learning at school and knowing things.

Since they had to get books for Buffy and Teddy, the group joined Tara and Willow, all of them walking toward the Magic Box. While Willow walked alongside Buffy and Giles, Tara fell into step with Kitty, Teddy, and Dawn.

"Hey," Tara said, smiling at Kitty. "So, um, Willow doesn't love girly movies, so I need someone to go with. Have you seen that trailer for Miss Congeniality?"

"The Miss America FBI one?" Kitty asked, already grinning. She nodded excitedly. "It looks so funny."

"Wanna come with tomorrow?" she offered.

"Totally. Then we have to let Xander know if it's good. He'll only walk into girl movies if he knows it's good," she said, both of them laughing. "It's a date."

At that, Willow playfully looked at them over her shoulder, pausing her conversation about college classes with Buffy. Kitty narrowed her eyes jokingly.

"That's right. I'm stealing her," Kitty said, holding Tara's hand.

Willow rolled her eyes and laughed. "For one night."

"For forever," she declared. "Tara is legally my girlfriend now."

Tara nodded sadly at Willow. "I'm sorry. It's been a great ride, and I'll always love you."

"Hmm, well, maybe I'll just turn her into a fish monster and send her to the ocean," Willow shot back.

Kitty gasped dramatically as the others laughed, all familiar with the story — Xander made a big deal about going to visit her "boyfriend" when they went to the beach. "That's a low blow, Will. Lowest of the blows. When are you gonna stop making fun of Gage?"

"When it stops being funny," Buffy said, grinning.

Kitty pretended to be greatly offended as she dragged Tara along, as well as Dawn. When she grabbed Dawn's hand to drag her, she grabbed Teddy. The four of them moved past Willow, Buffy, and Giles, heading to the Magic Box.

"Kitty," Tara said softly, as they tried to look in the windows. It was too dark to see much. "I don't think I can be your girlfriend."

"Yeah, that's fine," Kitty grumbled. "Will's great, I guess. Not like she's a master of love or anything."

"I wouldn't exactly call us masters," Teddy chimed in while cringing. They both wouldn't be single and silently pinning away for someone they weren't meant to if they were masters of love. Then Teddy cupped his hands around his eyes to try and look into the store window. "Are they closed? The lighting's not usually this bad."

Tara looked over her shoulder at Giles. "Shop's kinda dark. Maybe it's closed."

"That's odd," Giles said. He joined them at the storefront but didn't waste time looking in the window.

As they entered, they all saw that the lights were turned off. A lot of the furniture was overturned and broken, a clear sign that someone broke it. There was likely a lot missing from the inventory as well.

"Well, I think 'odd' just got upped to 'bad,' Buffy said.

"Hello?" Giles called. "Anyone here?"

"Mr. Bogarty?" Tara said. Not familiar with the name, they all looked at her questioningly. "The owner. I-I come in here a lot."

Willow walked farther into the store. "Well, maybe this happened really late at night when nobody was—" She was cut off as she tripped and fell to the floor.

"Will?" Buffy said, wanting to make sure she was okay.

Willow sat up a bit. "I'm fine, I - I just tripped over—" Willow froze when she saw the face-up body at her feet. "Mr. Bogarty."

"Wha-what is it? Is he okay?" Dawn asked, trying to shove past Teddy and Buffy to see the body.

"It's nothing you need to see, Dawn. Go wait outside," Buffy ordered while hustling her toward the exit.

"I don't wanna wait outside!" she argued, trying to get her elbow out of Buffy's grip.

"Dawn!"

"Ow, that hurt!" she snapped when Buffy threw her outside. "You're hurting me. I'm telling."

"Look, I don't have time for this," Buffy said. "Just do as I say and wait."

As Buffy went back inside the Magic Box, Dawn sighed in annoyance. She tried to peek through the blinds, but other than seeing them crowd around the body, she couldn't make out much.

"Whatcha doin'?" a man suddenly asked. Dawn turned and gasped when she saw an older, scruffy-looking man standing far too close to her. "What are you doing here? You can't loiter. There's no loitering." The man started toward her, so Dawn quickly backed away, scared. "That's why I'm a cat. Quiet. See, cat's in the cupboard but they find you there anyway, and it hurts." Dawn was shaking by the time her back hit the side of the van. "Please, make it stop. Shut up, shut up, they'll hear you!"

Dawn took in a deep breath before screaming, "Buff—"

The man quickly shoved his finger over her lips, silencing her. Then he glared at her. "I know you. Curds and whey. I know what you are." The man leaned in and Dawn held her breath. "You don't belong here."

"Hey!" Teddy shouted, having come to check on Dawn. He was there in an instant, ripping the man back and away from Dawn. He was furious, having only caught the tail end of what the man was saying while up in her space. "Get the hell back, dude! Leave her alone!"

The man tried to get around Teddy, but he pushed him back against the side of the building. Then Teddy turned and got Dawn, taking her hand and pulling her away from the man until they couldn't see them.

"Are you okay?" Teddy asked, looking over Dawn for injuries. She may have just been Buffy's sister, but they all cared about her. "Did he hurt you? Touch you?"

Dawn shook her head and wiped under her eyes. "No, no. You, uh, you stopped him." Then Dawn surged forward and hugged Teddy tightly. "Thank you, Teddy."

"Good. I'll stay out here with you," he said, not wanting to risk that man finding Dawn again. Hopefully, he'd moved his crazy on to someone else that wasn't a fourteen-year-old girl.

"Is - is that guy dead in there?" Dawn reluctantly asked as she stopped hugging Teddy.

"Yeah," Teddy said, sighing. They both sat down on the sidewalk. "They're gonna be a little while longer, doing the detective thing."

"Aren't you supposed to be doing the detective thing? Well, the Watcher thing?" Dawn asked.

"Eh," he shrugged. "They've got enough in there to handle it."

Back inside the Magic Box, after getting the lights on, they began surveying the damage. It was clear that the shop owner had died of a vampire bite based on his neck wounds. And there was more than just one bite.

"Judging by the bite-fest, I'd say it was more than one vampire," Buffy noted.

After closing the man's eyes, Giles stood up. "I make it four at least."

"Looks like someone's put together a new fang club," she said.

"I don't wanna join that club," Kitty mumbled while sliding on top of the clerk's counter. Willow was behind the counter and looking through the book with all the store's inventory in it.

"Well, I've cross-checked the inventory list, and things are definitely missing," Willow said, putting the book on the counter for them to look at. "Mostly books. Including A Treatise on the Mythology and Methodology of the Vampire Slayer."

Buffy quickly pulled a crumbled-up list out of her pocket, checking the list of books she and Teddy needed for their training. Low and behold, it was on it. "Oh, shoot! Was that the only copy?"

Giles sighed, knowing that wasn't what mattered at the moment. "Come on, Buffy, this could be very serious. Whoever's leading this pack of vampires appears to be interested in learning more about you. Perhaps searching for weaknesses or — good lord."

"What?"

While speaking, Giles had picked up the ledger to look through it and see if he could find anything concerning. He just wasn't expecting what he saw. "Well, I had no idea the profit margins on a shop like this were so high." The girls all shared a look, finding it funny that he was now the one not taking this seriously. "Look at this! Uh, low overhead, out-of-state orders, international — it's no wonder there's never any trouble attracting new owners. A place like this is a virtual—"

"Deathtrap?" Buffy interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" Giles said, finally looking up from the book. "Well, uh, yes, there is that. But, uh, still... location, pedestrian traffic."

"G, an owner dies like once a month here," Kitty said, crossing her arms. She was all for Giles pursuing his passions and whatnot, but not if it lead to his death. Of course, Giles waved off her worries.

"So, what's the next step?" Willow asked, moving on from the shop.

Giles was still looking around at the size of the shop but managed to answer. "Buffy, you should begin looking for their lair straight away."

"I'll get Riley to help me patrol," she said.

"Wait, aren't you forgetting something?" Willow asked her pointedly.

"Impressive square footage," Giles muttered before walking off. Kitty rolled her eyes in amusement.

"You're on Dawn duty," Willow then reminded the Slayer.

Buffy groaned in annoyance. "Oh, duty. I gotta drop my sister back home." Then her eyes widened, realizing that Joyce was definitely going to find out about Dawn seeing a dead body. "My mother's gonna kill me."

"I bet the death rate keeps the rent down," Giles mused, wandering back over. Then he paused at a broken display case. "Oh, hello. Something's been taken from this case, look here."

"What'd they take?" Buffy asked. Willow quickly searched the inventory book.

"I should think an item of, of value, or - or power, possibly even a—"

"A unicorn," Willow interrupted, finding the listing. "Ten-inch ceramic unicorn imported from Thailand."

That puzzled them all. "Was it valuable?" Buffy asked.

"List price, $12.95."

"Which begs the question, what kind of an unholy creature fancies cheap tasteless statuary?" Giles asked to himself.

Kitty leaned over to look at the inventory, spotting a small photograph of the statue. "Oh! That's so cute. Will, is there another in stock? It'd make a perfect gift for Harmony's unicorn collect — Harmony!"

"Harmony," Buffy and Willow muttered in sync.

♡︎

Kitty and Teddy rolled up to Buffy's house — Kitty on her skateboard and Teddy on a bike. They were enlisted in babysitting duty while Buffy went out and tried to find Harmony. Xander and Anya had also pulled up in his car, deciding to try and make it a fun night for Dawn to make up for the whole dead guy thing — of course, Dawn hated Anya, so not lots of fun would be had.

As Teddy fixed the lock on his bike, he eyed Kitty. "Is that... Spike's shirt?"

Kitty swallowed thickly while avoiding eye contact. "I'm gonna return it after we're done with Dawn. You know he lent it to me after getting caught in the rain."

"Right, and returning it requires you to wear it?" Teddy questioned, not even bothering to hide a smirk.

Kitty was wearing a black pleated skirt with a silky red tank top the same color as Spike's shirt tucked into it. The vampire's shirt was her top layer, unbuttoned but the ends tied together at her stomach to make it fit better.

"It's a nice shirt, Theodore. Shut up," Kitty muttered. Teddy only hummed teasingly before walking up the driveway, just behind Xander. Anya was getting an armful of board games out of the backseat.

When Xander rang the doorbell, Dawn was the one to answer it. Kitty noticed immediately that the young girl had changed into a pretty blue dress and cardigan, wanting to look nice for Teddy — and Xander, but that crush faded after meeting the Cupid. It made her smile, thinking it was quite adorable.

"Dawn Patrol!" Xander exclaimed.

"Hey, Dawnster," Teddy said, paying her the attention he knew she so craved. Life was easier when Dawn was happy. "Long time no see."

"Hey," Dawn greeted, smiling softly.

"Check this out, they put cheese on round bread," Xander said, holding up the two large pizzas in hand. "It's gonna be big."

"Oh, did you get pineapple?" Teddy asked as they all entered the house.

Though Xander did get the pizza he knew the Cupid liked, he and Kitty grimaced. "Where did we go wrong with him?" Kitty asked Xander, shaking her head. "A nerd. Pineapple pizza. Thinks Kilmer is a better Batman than Keaton."

"We'll do better with the next one," Xander assured her.

Then Joyce came over, looking quite nice for the event at her art gallery. "Kids, thanks for doing this," she told them.

"Total non-sweat," Xander said, shrugging.

"Again, thanks for coming. Oh, uh, here is my card," she said, handing it to Teddy. "If you have any problems, you just call me on the cell phone."

"Have fun," Kitty told her. "You look super nice."

"Thanks, Kitty," she said, smiling.

"Well, have fun but not too much fun," Xander said, grinning mischievously.

"Dawn, be good," Joyce instructed, kissing Dawn on the head.

"Oh, we will," Xander assured her. "We're just gonna play with matches, run with scissors, take candy from some guy. I don't know his name."

Dawn laughed at Xander's joke as he winked at her. With that, Joyce left the house. Dawn moved to shut the door, only for Anya to finally appear and get in the way.

"Hello there, little girl," Anya greeted in a slightly condescending tone. It immediately caused Dawn's smile to drop.  "We are gonna have fun, fun, fun. Look, I've got Monopoly, Clue, and ooh, the Game of Life! That sounds good!"

"Oh, I kick some ass at Monopoly," Kitty said, making grab hands for the game.

Teddy quickly held her hands down and shook his head. "Which is why we're gonna start with a nice, friendly game of Life."

"You're just still mad about last time," Kitty mumbled.

"Of course, I am! You put two hotels on the Boardwalk!"

"Have you tried simply not being poor?"

"I'm gonna flip a table again."

♡︎

No tables were flipped as the five of them played their board games. It didn't take long for complaining about cards in Life to turn to complaining about actual life. The older ones just let Dawn rant about Buffy, who she always thought got her way. Sure, Dawn didn't mind being around the others — not counting Anya — but it wasn't fair to her that Buffy just got to run off when she was meant to be babysitting.

"Don't be silly," Teddy said after Dawn made a comment about her mother preferring Buffy over her. "Your mom loves you both equally."

"But if he's wrong, I find money usually helps tip the scale," Xander chimed in. "Slip Joyce a ten or a twenty once in a while. Then we'll see who's the favorite."

Dawn smiled dreamily at the boys, completely unaware that she had chocolate ice cream smeared all over her face. Kitty reached over and shoved a paper towel in her face, letting her take it and do it herself instead of wiping Dawn's face like a baby. That'd certainly of embarrassed her.

"Oh, crap," Anya muttered, slamming her card down. "Look at this! Now I'm burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children, more cash than I can reasonably manage."

"That means you're winning," Xander said pointedly.

"Really?" she asked, perking up.

"Yes. As it does in literally every situation, cash equals good," Teddy mumbled. He, on the other hand, wasn't doing so good.

Anya then clapped her hands excitedly. "I'm so pleased!" she said. Then she scooped up the plastic markers that represented the fake children. "Can I trade in the children for more cash?"

"I'm calling Child Protective Services," Kitty joked.

"As long as it gets rid of the—"

Suddenly something crashed through the living room window, showering them with broken glass. All of them ducked behind the coffee table, and Dawn shrieked. Xander was the one to get up and see what was thrown. Teddy, Kitty, and Anya shortly followed as he picked up a brick with a piece of paper wrapped around it. He handed the brick to Anya before reading the note aloud.

"Slayer, come out and die." Kitty had to bite her lip when she saw the 'i' in 'die' was dotted with a smiley face. She instantly knew who it was from, as they had bonded in high school over the fact that Kitty dotted hers with hearts.

"I'm waiting for you, Buffy!" Harmony shouted from the street. Kitty and Xander moved to the broken window to peer outside. They saw Harmony standing with four other vampires behind her, all armed. "I know you're in there!"

"Hey, Harm!" Kitty exclaimed, waving through the window.

"Oh! Kitty!" Harmony said, wiggling her fingers in a cute wave. "It's been too long! Now, send out the Slayer!"

With a sigh, Xander pulled Kitty away from the window and looked at her disapprovingly. "Do you have to be so freaking delighted every time we run into her?"

"What kind of question is that?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips. "Of course, I do."

Kitty and Xander were the ones to go and open the door. Anya and Teddy stayed back but in sight while Dawn clung to Teddy for protection. Harmony walked up to the door while her gang stayed back down the driveway.

"Harm, Buff isn't here," Kitty broke the news to her. "Bad timing."

"What do you mean, she's not in there?" Harmony asked, pouting in annoyance. Xander was unimpressed. "She has to be. I'm calling her out!"

"Then I bet she'll be real sorry she missed your call. 'Fraid you and your buddies are gonna have to come back and be killed by Buffy later," Xander told her.

"They're not my buddies," she said, rolling her eyes. "They're my minions."

"They're... what now?" Xander asked.

"Minions! You know, lackeys? They work for me." At that, Xander couldn't help but laugh. Kitty thought it was funny too, but didn't want to laugh in Harmony's face. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing!" Xander said, continuing to lose it. "What could be funny, just, 'Look out, it's a terrifying Harmony gang!'"

"Stop laughing!" Harmony insisted angrily. She stepped forward to attack, but couldn't get past the doorway.

"I just, I just can't picture anyone pathetic enough to be following—"

"Oh my god!" Kitty interrupted, squinting to peer at the gang. "Brad Konig? Xander! It's Brad!"

"Huh!" Xander said, now even more delighted. Brad only rolled his eyes. "Hey Brad, who'd have thought when you were beating up kids in gym class, you'd end up Harmony's lapdog?"

"Screw you, Harris," Brad spat. "You too, Hart!"

Harmony glared at Xander. "You should know all about being somebody's lapdog. I hear you were a good little puppy for Dracula."

"You heard wrong," Xander said, clearly insulted.

"Don't feel bad," she said, laughing. "I hear that mind-control thing he does works really well on weak fraidy-cat losers. You didn't stand a chance."

"Shut up!" Dawn snapped from behind them. Teddy quickly pulled her back.

"Dawn, I'm handling this," Xander said. Then he whirled back around to look at Harmony. "Shut up, Harmony!"

"Make me."

"As riveting as the last hair-pulling contest was between the two of you, maybe not tonight," Kitty said, trying to avoid any more windows being broken.

"Xander's the hair-puller, you big girl!" Harmony accused.

"Oh yeah?" Dawn asked with attitude. "Come inside and say that! Xander will kick your—"

"Dawn, no!" Anya shouted. Teddy had covered her mouth, but it was too late.

Harmony smirked as her face morphed into the bumpy vampire face. She lunged at Xander, tackling him to the ground. Teddy picked up Dawn and ran her upstairs and away from danger, knowing Buffy would kill them if she got hurt. The minions rushed to the door but couldn't get through to help Harmony — she didn't need much help anyway.

"The invitation was for one," Xander choked out.

"Not such a pushover anymore, am I?" Harmony asked before punching Xander a few times.

"Not cool, Harm!" Kitty shouted. She and Anya searched for any kind of weapon, but none were lying around.

"Slayer's house should have more weapons lying around," Anya muttered. Then she picked up a lamp.

"I've been working out, learning some new tricks," Harmony said, leaning down to bite Xander. "Honing my—" When Anya tried to hit Harmony with the lamp, the vampire straightened and backhanded her, breaking the lamp and sending her flying back. "—Instincts."

Xander took the moment of freedom to kick Harmony in the stomach. The force sent her backward and out the floor, knocking the group of minions back in the process.

Kitty and Anya rushed to slam the door shut as Xander got to his feet. They all leaned against the door and peeked out the little windows on it.

"This isn't over, Xander!" Harmony shouted angrily. "I'll be back!"

"And we'll be ready for you!" he yelled. "Stakes, crosses, the whole enchilada."

Then they all pulled their heads away from the windows, hoping Harmony and the gang really did leave. They all shared very concerned looks.

"Buffy is not going to be happy about this," Xander said, his eyes wide. Anya and Kitty nodded in agreement.

"Yeah," Kitty said, digging the toe of her shoe into the wood floor. "Technically, Teddy was the main babysitter, so I'm just gonna skedaddle. Don't really want to be here when Buffy goes postal."

"Coward!" Teddy yelled, who was listening from the stairs.

"Yes. That is not brand new information."

♡︎

"You're shitting me."

"Am not!"

"Harm has minions?" Spike asked, laughing hysterically.

Kitty giggled and nodded. "They're these, like, biker gang-looking dudes — except Brad from high school."

Spike snorted. "Oh, Brad from high school sounds terrifying."

While avoiding Buffy's wrath, Kitty made her way to Spike's crypt, excited to tell him about Harmony and her gang. He was there, of course, hoping she'd drop by.

And when he saw his shirt wrapped around her shoulders, his mouth felt painfully dry, wishing she'd wear his clothes every day. But then again, he didn't necessarily mind when she took the shirt off and laid it across the back of his small couch, showing off the thin tank top.

But all thoughts of Kitty's clothing were pushed to the back of his mind when she launched into her story about Harmony. They ended up on the couch, and Kitty painted Spike's nails a matte black color as she told the story. He was laying across the couch, his head on one end and feet propped up on the other. Kitty sat on his knees, keeping his hand steady on her thighs. It was her favorite nail-painting position, claiming it made it easier, and Spike would never complain.

His left hand was already painted with a quick-drying top coat on it, so he lit up a cigarette, careful to turn his head and blow the smoke away from Kitty, as he knew she didn't like it in her face.

"Anyway, long story short — Harmony and her Easy Riders are gunning for Buffy. And you'll never see Niblet again because Buffy's gonna kill her for inviting Harm into the house."

Spike winced at that. He could practically hear the earful Buffy's sister was going to get — they all could given how frequently the sisters fought. "Props to Harm, though. Getting invited into the Slayer's house? There's only a few of us."

"Oh, I'm sure that'll have plenty of vamps begging to join her gang of minions," Kitty said, grinning. "She'll have to get more matching leather jackets."

"Matching leather jackets?" Spike asked, laughing once more. His eyes lit up with amusement as he pictured it. "You're serious?"

"No, I'm just shitting you on that one," she said, giggling.

Spike playfully rolled his eyes. Then as Kitty put the cap on the bottle of top coat, Spike examined his nails — his smile instantly dropped. "Damn it, Kitten! What the hell is this?"

Kitty laughed even more as Spike stared at his pinky finger, which was a baby pink color that stood out against the other black nails. "You should really learn to pay attention," she told him. Then she showed him her nails, which were the same shade of pink. "Now we match."

With a scoff, Spike moved quickly. Kitty didn't even register it until she was on her back on the couch with Spike now on top of her, knees on either side of her hips as he trapped her on the couch.

"Spike!" Kitty squealed. He held the bottle of black nail polish in one hand and used the other to pin Kitty's hands to the armrest by her wrist.

Spike used his teeth to twist off the cap on the nail polish before balancing the bottle on Kitty's stomach — her breath hitched as his fingers brushed the bit of skin exposed when her tank top came untucked from her skirt. Then, with a devilish smirk, he took her right hand and covered her pinky nail with black, hiding away all the pink.

"Now we match," Spike declared smugly.

With cheeks that were slowly growing pinker, Kitty looked at her hand — which Spike was still holding. There was a reason she'd painted one of his fingers to match hers. It wasn't exactly marking her territory — except it was — and Kitty wondered if Spike maybe on some level thought the same. Maybe that was why he never changed his nails when Kitty put pink or glitter on them.

Oh, pull yourself together, Kitty!

"Well, just go ahead and put the top coat on, then. I don't want it to chip," Kitty told him, getting control of her thoughts.

Spike stared down at her for a moment before nodding and reaching for the bottle. Kitty rested her hand on her stomach and waited. Then he brushed it over her pinky and when he got some on her skin, he carefully wiped it off with his thumb. A beat of silence passed between them with neither looking the other in the eye. They were both looking down at their hands, watching as Spike's thumb grazed her knuckles while Kitty traced the side of his hand with her pinky.

The first to move was Spike, who cleared his throat and carefully got off Kitty. "Right, then. Spa time over. Let's see what's on the telly."

But as Spike turned away from Kitty, he silently mouthed the words, 'fucking hell,' in frustration at himself. Meanwhile, Kitty was clenching her eyes shut, wishing that Spike was still on top of her.

"Uh, I think The Nanny is on tonight," Kitty said, opening her eyes and sitting up to make room for him on the couch. It was best to not sit on each other's lap for the rest of the night.

"The Nanny?" Spike scoffed. "I can't stand how they portray my kind with those two idiots."

"Vampires?" Kitty asked teasingly, knowing that wasn't the answer.

"Yeah. Max and Niles, the vampires," he said rolling his eyes playfully. He knelt in front of the TV to adjust the antenna. "You know, you don't even hear the jokes half the time — too busy staring at Fran."

"Yeah," Kitty said, sighing dreamily. "God, what a babe. Mr. Sheffield, too."

Spike chuckled and continued to fiddle with the TV set. He could only get a staticky image, but they could make out the hazy silhouette of Fran perching herself on a desk.

"Bollocks," Spike muttered, knowing it wouldn't get much better. It was fairly cloudy out, meaning TV wasn't in the cards. "Gonna have to pinch one of those satellite dishes."

"We could go to Willy's," Kitty suggested. "Teddy's not working, so no one can stop me from playing Britney Spears."

"Kitten, no one in a demon bar wants to hear Britney Spears."

"Don't be silly, Spikey. Everyone in a demon bar wants to hear—"

The door of the crypt suddenly banged open and Buffy stormed in. Spike got up from his crouched position to look at her.

"Well, speaking of dishes, to what do I owe this unpleasant—" Spike was cut off by Buffy punching him right in the nose. "Ow! Bloody hell!"

"Buffy!" Kitty exclaimed, rolling off the couch.

Buffy grabbed Spike's shirt roughly and shoved him up against the wall. "I don't have time for banter, Spike. Where's Harmony's lair?"

"Haven't seen her in months. How should I know—" Buffy punched Spike once more, not believing him. "Ow!"

"Where is she?" Buffy demanded.

"Chill out, Buff," Kitty said, coming over to them. "No need to be so—"

"Harmony kidnapped Dawn, and they took Theo when he tried to rescue her," Buffy quickly informed her.

Fear for Teddy coursed through Kitty. She looked from Buffy to Spike, desperate to find her brother and Buffy's sister. "Hit him again."

"Hey! At least lay off the nose," Spike said, narrowing his eyes at Kitty's betrayal. Then when Buffy pulled her fist back again, he quickly stopped her. "Okay! Okay! Used to have a cave in the north woods. About forty meters past the overpass construction site."

Before turning to leave, Buffy punched him again for good measure.

"Ow! I was telling you the truth!" he shouted, clutching his throbbing nose.

"I know," Buffy told him.

"Sorry," Kitty managed to say before running after Buffy. "Raincheck on Willy's. Teddy comes first."

With the crypt now empty save for him, he wandered over to his couch. Spike picked up the red shirt that still smelled like Kitty and put it on rather pathetically.

"Of course, he does."

♡︎

Things weren't going well for Harmony. Though she had a few wins, such as getting invited into Buffy's house and kidnapping her little sister — as well as the super cute new member of the group who tried to help the little girl — her minions didn't seem to care about those things. And that led to her minions turning on her. The big one named Mort was holding Harmony back, ready to kill her as soon as the others drained Dawn and Teddy.

Oh, Dawn and Teddy? They were chained to the wall of the cave. Dawn, angry at her sister, ran outside of the house. Harmony's minions were waiting for her and pounced. It led to Anya getting hurt and Teddy getting taken with her. Mort would've left him behind, but he caught a whiff of that Cupid blood and knew they'd all want a taste.

And it seemed the vampires would be getting a taste fairly soon. The one named Cyrus stepped toward Dawn, a smirk on his vamped-out face.

"Touch me and my sister's gonna kill you," Dawn said nervously, her voice shaking. She was scared because she knew Teddy was scared — his wings were out, and it was a well-known fact that fear was the only thing that made it hard for a Cupid to hide their wings.

"Yeah," Teddy spoke up, hoping Buffy wasn't too far off. Then he took a page out of Kitty's playbook. "The Slayer's gonna wreck your shit, dude."

Cyrus simply tilted his head at their taunts before reaching out with a finger and poking Dawn's shoulder. The other minions laughed as if he'd done something incredibly funny. But the laughter stopped when the point of a stake shot through Cyrus from behind.

The vampire combusted into a cloud of dust, revealing a very pissed-off Buffy behind him. Kitty was there as well, just relieved to see Teddy and Dawn still alive. Teddy was relieved too, his wings disappearing as he calmed down.

"Can't say they didn't warn him," Buffy claimed.

Harmony glared at Mort snidely, who slowly released her. "And you didn't like the plan."

"Dawn, close your eyes," Buffy instructed, and Dawn did so.

Harmony sauntered up to Buffy, her head held high. "So, Slayer, at last, we meet."

Kitty and Buffy shared a look, both wanting to laugh. "We've met, Harmony, you halfwit," Buffy said flatly.

"I'm the halfwit?" she asked, scoffing. "Um, excuse me, but look who's fallen into my—"

One of the minions got too impatient and attacked Buffy with an ax. Kitty backed up to where Teddy and Dawn were as Buffy ducked and dodged each swing. Then she swiftly staked him. Buffy took the ax just as Brad attacked. He didn't even get a hit in before she cut off his head.

Harmony quickly lost all her confidence. "—Trap," she mumbled, stepping back.

"Harmony, when you tried to be head cheerleader, you were bad. When you tried to chair the homecoming committee, you were really bad," Buffy told her. "But when you try to be bad, you suck."

Kitty would've defended her friend but she was still a little mad about Teddy being kidnapped, even if he was alright.

Dawn, who had opened her eyes and spotted Mort moving around behind Buffy, called out to her. "Buffy, watch out!"

Buffy turned and swung the ax, but Mort knocked it out of her grasp. Harmony watched from the side.

"Ooh, good shot, Mort, I think you got her on the—" Harmony shut up when Mort glared at her. She laughed nervously before turning and running away.

While Buffy kept fighting Mort, Kitty turned to the two chained to the wall. She had to stand on a big rock to actually see the cuffs above their heads.

"Where's the keys?" she asked, looking at Teddy.

"They may be half-wits, but the keys aren't just lying around," Teddy said. The one named Peaches had taken the keys away after locking them up.

Kitty nervously watched as Mort picked Buffy up and threw her across the room. Then she crept over to the ax, hoping the vampire would stay focused on the Slayer. She picked up the weapon and moved back to the others.

"Maybe we should wait for Buffy." Teddy eyed the large weapon warily. "Don't cut my hands off. Don't cut my hands off."

"I'm not gonna cut your hands off," Kitty said, rolling her eyes. Then she got on the rock once more and swung the ax at the chains. It was a mistake as the aftershock hurt her arms and she wasn't strong enough to break the metal. "Owww. Let's wait for Buffy."

Looking back at the fight, Kitty saw Buffy throw Mort back. Then she grabbed a large wooden unicorn statue off the ground. He ran at her, and she stabbed the horn through his chest, dusting him. Buffy scowled at the unicorn, knowing it wasn't her coolest kill ever, and then she tossed it to the side.

Buffy strode over to the others, looking very displeased as she took the ax from Kitty. She began hacking away at the chains above Dawn, making much more progress than Kitty did.

"You are going to be in so much trouble when we get home," Buffy told her sister.

"Yeah, well, I'm telling Mom you slayed in front of me," she shot back, not wanting to be the only one in trouble.

"Fine," Buffy said, smirking as she broke the chains. "I'll just tell her that you ran out of the house in the middle of the night, that you got Anya hurt, invited a vampire in, got kidnapped, got Teddy kidnapped!"

Dawn looked down at her feet. "Okay, maybe I won't tell Mom," she mumbled.

Buffy sighed before freeing Teddy. Once he was cut down, he rubbed his sore wrist. Then before he knew it, Kitty was throwing herself at him and wrapping her arms around him.

"Are you okay? Did they hurt you? Did you at least jump on someone's head before getting kidnapped?" she asked, firing off question after question.

"I'm fine," he assured her, leaning into her hug. "Kind of got a headache from when they hit me. Buffy, I am so sorry I couldn't stop them."

"It's okay, Theo," Buffy said softly. She hugged him as well. "Thank you for protecting her."

"Thanks for wrecking their shit," he said, grinning.

As the four of them headed for the exit of the cave, Kitty stopped and picked up the big unicorn statue. She only shrugged when the others looked at her questioningly. "Decorations for if G actually buys that store."

♡︎

Giles did buy the Magic Box despite everyone in his life telling him not to. Kitty and Teddy, as his children, were forced to help him clean and sort through inventory. Buffy was there with Dawn because she wanted to be. Dawn wasn't helping, of course, just scribbling in her diary.

"Giles, are you sure about this?" Buffy asked, leaning against the counter that Giles was behind.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked.

"Because this is definitely a midlife crisis," Teddy whispered to Kitty. Between this and the sports car, it matched up with what he'd read about midlife crises.

Buffy cut her eyes to him, trying not to laugh before focusing back on Giles. "Well, aside from the fact that most magic shop owners in Sunnydale have the life expectancy of a Spinal Tap drummer, have you ever run a store before?"

"I was a librarian for years," he replied, moving from behind the counter. "This is exactly the same, except people pay for the things they don't return. It'll give me focus. Increase my resources. And it'll prevent you lot from trampling all over my flat at all hours. There may even be some space for you to train in the back."

"Boy, you've really thought this through," Buffy said. She and Teddy followed him toward the back room. "How bored were you last year?"

Giles sighed heavily. "I watched Passions with Spike. Let us never speak of it." Buffy couldn't help but burst out laughing as they left the main room.

"Hey, it's a good show!" Kitty called, taking a seat at the table with Dawn.

A moment later, Buffy poked her head back in and looked pointedly at Dawn. "Don't. Break. Anything." Dawn simply gave her an exasperated look, and then Buffy went out again. Except a second later, she was back. "Just don't touch anything."

Kitty snickered as Buffy disappeared again. Then she looked at Dawn. "Think she'll be bac—"

Buffy popped her head in a third time. "What you're doing right now, not moving? Good. Keep doing that."

"Don't take it personally," Kitty told Dawn, noting her annoyed expression. "Any time I messed up or got kidnapped after I first got here, Giles was extra overbearing. It'll pass."

"I hope," Dawn mumbled, resting her hand on her chin. Then she looked at Kitty. "Why are all your fingers covered in bandaids? They weren't there last night."

Kitty looked at her hands and spread all her fingers out, admiring the Pokémon bandaids. "My morning to make breakfast. You know all those chefs on TV that can cut up vegetables real fast?"

"Yes," Dawn said slowly, having an idea of where this was going.

"Yeah, I can't do that."