[ no, this won't be covering all episodes, especially ones without spike. it will jump through the first half of season 2 quickly, and then all of season 3 except the ep where spike comes back. it's a slowburn but i don't want it to be that slow ]

♡︎

THIS IS THE DUMBEST DISTRACTION TECHNIQUE I'VE EVER WITNESSED

[ episode 2.03 ]

The sun was shining brightly as it always did in Sunnydale. The warm weather had Kitty Hart in a cropped t-shirt that earned a glare from Principal Snyder and a pair of baggy jeans. As the final bell of the day rang, signaling the end of school, she walked alongside her best friends since tenth grade, Willow Rosenburg and Xander Harris.

Kitty met the two — along with the now-dusted Jesse — when she moved to Sunnydale exactly two months before Buffy Summers came to town. But it wasn't until it was revealed that Buffy was the legendary Slayer that Kitty grew close with the two.

Her guardian had always been wary of her making friends, worried that they'd learn what she was. But when the two humans got pulled into Buffy's Slayer life, Giles — who wasn't actually Kitty's uncle despite what Principal Snyder thought — loosened the reigns around Kitty a bit. However, one couldn't blame him for being strict. It wasn't every day a Watcher got informed he had to take in a Cupid who misused her powers and was banished from the realm in which she was meant to reside in.

Besides, when a vampire came out of nowhere and startled Kitty, her fellow members of the Scooby Gang watched as fluffy white wings manifested on her back, a reflexive reaction that she couldn't always help. Giles and Kitty couldn't exactly come up with a great lie on the spot, so Buffy, Willow, and Xander — and Cordelia eventually — learned about her not-exactly-human status.

The fact that she hadn't been on earth, or even in possession of a human body for that long, explained a lot about her. She was clumsy, she didn't know a lot of basic information, she didn't really filter the things she said, and she lacked common sense. It also explained why people had a hard time disliking Kitty despite these flaws that could be annoying at times. The longer one was exposed to her natural loving aura, the more they cared about her. Because of their time together, the gang was quite protective of the naive Cupid who had a knack for stumbling onto dangerous situations because she didn't have the street smarts to avoid them.

Thankfully, Kitty had a Slayer as a best friend, who loved the ego boost that came with rescuing Kitty — and usually Xander.

Said Slayer was leaving the school with a fellow classmate — though she hardly went to class — named Sheila. The two had been pulled into Principal Snyder's office for some kind of lecture. Because of their records, he was making them run the upcoming Parent-Teacher conference night.

As Sheila ran away from Buffy, not listening to any of her attempts at making plans, Willow, Xander, and Kitty approached their friend who looked less than thrilled.

"Snyder's got you guys making party favors, huh?" Xander asked, knowing that prepping for parent night wouldn't be fun.

"His two worst students," Buffy muttered. She watched as Sheila rushed up to a much older, heavily tattooed man who looked like he just came from robbing a gas station. "That's what Mom sees when she looks at me. A Sheila."

They watched as Sheila kissed the older boy, using a little bit too much tongue for a school parking lot. "Well, Sheila's definitely intense. That guy with her? That's the guy she can bring home to mother," Xander commented.

"She was already smoking in fifth grade. Once I was lookout for her," Willow informed them.

"You're bad to the bone," he told her, earning a laugh from Kitty and a smile from Willow.

"I'm a rebel," she declared proudly.

"It's not fair," Buffy whined. "I'm the Slayer. That requires a certain amount of cutting and fighting. What's Sheila's excuse?"

"Homework," Xander stated. "She won't do it. And most teachers respect that now. Oh, you might wanna keep away any sharp implements when you're working with her."

"Do you think any other Slayers ever had to go to high school?" Buffy asked as they moved through the parking lot.

"It's no biggie. You'll have a nice soiree. The parents will love it," Xander said, never one to worry about anything.

"Yeah, as long as nothing really bad happens between now and then, you'll be fine," Kitty added, smiling.

Buffy and Willow stopped walking to look at Kitty with wide eyes. "Are you crazy? What did you say that for? Now something bad is gonna happen!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Whadaya mean?" Kitty asked, frowning. Xander propped his elbow on her shoulder, silently siding with her and not understanding their upset. "Nothing's gonna happen."

Willow scoffed. "Not until some dummy says, 'as long as nothing bad happens.'"

"It's the ultimate jinx!" Buffy added.

"What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all?" Willow asked as she and Buffy gave Kitty exasperated looks. Then they walked off, leaving a pouting Kitty and Xander.

"Well, those guys don't know," Xander said, holding his backpack to his chest. "Maybe this time it'll be different."

"Yeah," Kitty agreed, nodding along. "There's no such thing as a jinx."

Well, if there was such a thing as a jinx, it was manifesting in the form of a 1958 Dodge Desoto FireFlite that would soon come crashing into the town sign.

♡︎

The following morning, Buffy enlisted all her friends for help making banners for the Parent-Teacher night. Kitty preferred this to vampire help — painting banners wasn't nearly as frightening as getting kidnapped or threatened. Xander was holding a plate with glittery pink paint out while Willow painted it on the welcome banner. Willow and Buffy were working on one to point parents toward the library.

Sheila, of course, was a no-show.

"D'you think you can help me cram some French tonight?" Buffy asked Willow. "I don't want Mr. DeJean telling my mother I'm an imbecile."

"Calls me one all the time," Kitty spoke up, an easy smile on her lips. "It sounds funny in his accent."

Xander then whispered the word imbecile under his breath in a horrible French accent, earning a giggle from Kitty.

"I thought we were going to the Bronze tonight. 'Cause of how you thought Angel might show?" Willow asked her.

"If he does, he'll meet some other nice girl. Studying comes first," Xander stated, giving Buffy a pointed look. It was the sure-fire way to get Buffy to come.

"We're going to the Bronze," Buffy declared. "I can study and party and do parent-teacher night and make my mother proud as long as I don't have to—"

"Buffy!" Giles called, spotting the four of them.

Buffy's shoulders dropped, knowing he was going to ruin the plan. "—Fight vampires."

Giles wandered over with Jenny Calendar, the computer teacher at the school that they'd all grown close to.

"What's the up, guys?" Xander asked. It must have been important if Giles couldn't wait for them to swing by the library.

"We - um, Ms. Calendar has been researching, well, uh, surfing on her computer, a-and she's — Well, according to her calculations, this Saturday is the night of St. Vigeous," Giles informed them, seeming quite worried.

"Let me guess," Buffy mumbled, "he didn't make balloon animals."

"No, he led a crusade, of, uh, vampires," he informed them. "They swept through Edessa, Harran, and points east."

"And they didn't leave much behind," Jenny added.

"Well, if I survive Parent-Teacher night tomorrow, I'll see what I can do about Saturday," Buffy said, glancing back at her sign.

"You're being a tad flip, don't you think? This is serious," Giles said, moving closer.

"And getting kicked out of school is laughs aplenty?" she shot back.

"You know what happens when you - you let your life interfere with your slaying," he warned.

"Okay, well, if my slaying doesn't get me expelled, then I promise my banner-making won't get me killed, okay? Just please let me get through this week," she begged.

"This Saturday's going to need a great deal of preparation," Giles said.

"Well, we'll help," Willow offered.

"Yeah, I'll whittle stakes," Kitty said, wiping some glittery paint off her hands and onto her jeans.

"You nearly cut your thumb off last time you tried to make stakes," Giles said flatly.

"I'll whittle stakes," Xander offered.

"A-and I can research stuff," Willow added.

"I can, um, sing a little song while you're whittling and researching," Kitty said sheepishly. She was about as good at researching as she was whittling. "For moral support."

Giles looked at the three teens and held back a grimace. "Yes, your help will be greatly appreciated, but when it comes to battle, Buffy must fight alone. You are, after all, the Slay—" Jenny cleared her throat, calling attention to Principal Snyder, who was coming their way. "—slay-ve. Slaves. You're, you're all slaves to the, uh, television."

"Yes," Jenny said, agreeing with his quick save.

"Young people nowadays," he muttered. Then he glanced at Jenny, not wanting to be around for Snyder's talk. "Shall we go?"

As they scurried off, Snyder glanced at the banners and then the students with unimpressed looks. "You wouldn't be helping Buffy in Sheila's place, would you?"

Xander laughed nervously and set down his paintbrush. "No."

"We're hindering," Willow said quickly.

"Yeah," Kitty agreed. "You know us. Always hinderuses."

"Hindrances," Willow quietly corrected.

"She ditched," Snyder said, ignoring them while looking at Buffy. He took in a deep breath. "I feel an expulsion coming on."

"No!" Buffy quickly said. "No, actually, Sheila's been helping us for hours. Um, she just went to get some more paint."

As if she was summoned, Sheila wandered in through the door behind them. She walked slowly and took off her sunglasses while leaning against the wall, clearly drunk or hungover. Snyder was very unimpressed, but Buffy kept trying to cover for her.

"Oh! Oh, is there no more teal in the art room?" Buffy asked, walking over to Sheila. "I know you wanted everything to be perfect, but let's just go with what we have."

Snyder didn't believe her for a second, but let it slide with an eye-roll since Sheila was there. "Just make sure everything is perfect on Thursday."

As Snyder stalked off, Sheila nodded to Buffy. "Thanks for covering. Guy's a serious rodent."

"No problem."

"Did you really burn down a school building one time?" Sheila asked, wanting to know about the rumors.

Buffy sheepishly looked down at the paint on her hands. "Well, not actually one time."

That, of course, impressed someone like Sheila greatly. "Cool."

"But when I almost burn down a building, I get scolded," Kitty whispered under her breath.

Xander pat her on the shoulder and led her to their sign to finish. "That's because Buffy was saving lives. You just put a PopTart still in the metallic wrapper in the microwave."

"Well, they should really put a sign on them or something to not do that."

"They do."

♡︎

Spike stood on his own in the middle of the crowded club called the Bronze. His eyes were fixed on one table in particular where two girls were crowded over schoolwork, one with red hair and the other with blonde. He had found the Slayer and her friends almost instantly, the other of the three a boy who was dancing badly all on his own.

Knowing that he wouldn't be killing the Slayer that night, he simply stayed back, stalking her as a beast stalked its prey. As the night progressed, he knew he'd need to sacrifice one of the Anointed One's vampires in order to get a glimpse at the Slayer's fighting style.

Though he was focused on the Slayer, he wasn't clueless to those around him, alert and ready for anything that would come at him. And what came at him was a very clumsy Kitty Hart who tripped on her way past him.

"Scuse me, scuse me," Kitty had been saying politely as she moved through crowds of bodies. When she'd see someone she knew, she waved brightly. "Scuse me. Oh, hey Gage! Good luck at tomorrow's meet. Gotta find Buff. Scuse me — oof!"

Spike's supernatural reflexes kicked in on instinct, hands reaching out and catching the girl who never was one to have great control of her limbs, even after having them for more than a year. She had stumbled over her own feet and bumped into Spike. She'd have fallen on her ass if he hadn't caught her.

It only took a second for Spike to study her features — once brown hair dyed dirty blonde, soft pink eyeshadow dusted over wide, hazel eyes, cherry-scented lipgloss with traces of glitter in it. And then her scent hit him, sweeter than that of any other human. It had him longing for her blood, and he wondered if she smelled that way to all vampires. Surely she wouldn't have survived seventeen years if she did.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Kitty breathed out, looking up at the man who caught her. She was, of course, none the wiser to his thoughts about her blood. As soon as her feet were firmly on the ground, he let her go and stepped back, clearly wanting space between them. He was dressed mostly in black, which contrasted his platinum blonde hair greatly. "Thank you, though. I didn't spill your drink or anything, did I?"

"All's well," he said, speaking in a low British accent. "Perhaps watch where you're going next time."

The man seemed annoyed at her for bumping into him, which was understandable. Kitty toyed with the end of her dress anxiously, feeling bad. "Oh, right. Again, super sorry—"

"Hey, there you are!" It was Xander who interrupted and pulled Kitty away from the man, not caring as he did so. Kitty didn't even give him another thought as Xander led her through the crowd and toward the table where Buffy and Willow were seated at. "Look who's finally here."

"Sorry," Kitty said sheepishly. "Giles didn't want to let me out. Went on about grades and stuff as if he's actually my uncle. Wants to know what he's gonna hear at the Parent-Teacher conference."

"And what is he going to hear?" Willow asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean, I think Snyder will say my GPA is impressive," Kitty told them, rocking back and forth on her feet.

"—ly low," Xander muttered under his breath. Kitty retaliated by digging her elbow into his side — it didn't hurt as she wasn't exactly strong. "Now, I'm all alone out there. Somebody has to dance with me."

Though Kitty would obviously join him, Willow glanced at the French textbook on the table. "Well, we are studying."

"C'mon, one dance. You've been studying for nearly twelve minutes," Xander reminded her.

"No wonder my brain's fried," Buffy mumbled. She closed the book and stood, ignoring Willow's protest. Xander dragged her from her chair while Buffy pulled Kitty to the dance floor.

The group was none the wiser to the blonde vampire watching them through the crowd, circling and studying them. He watched as the Slayer held hands with the clumsy girl that ran into him earlier, raising both their hands in the air as they danced together.

Spike wasn't expecting the clumsy girl to be friends with the Slayer. It'd certainly ruin his plans to steal her away and share her with Drusilla. She was oblivious to the countless longing stares she was receiving due to the little pink dress she wore. But he wasn't concerned with her dress. He was thinking about her smell, her blood that almost called to him even from across the room.

The first thing he'd do after taking care of the Slayer was sink his teeth into her.

Kitty let Xander twirl her under his arm as he stole her away from Buffy. She sang along with the band on stage, dancing to the upbeat tune. Why would she want to do homework or think about Parent-Teacher night when she could be dancing?

Unfortunately, the first song didn't even finish before the voice of the same man from before hit their ears. He approached a nearby worker, speaking loudly enough for the Slayer to overhear.

"Where's the phone? I need to call the police. There's some big guy out there trying to bite somebody," he claimed.

Buffy acted quickly, rushing from the dance floor. Kitty and the others followed, albeit, a little slower. They got outside just as Buffy pulled the vampire off a terrified girl.

"Slayer!" the vampire hissed, recognizing her.

"Slayee," she shot back.

Then Buffy did a roundhouse kick, hitting him in the face. The vampire only flinched a little before swinging at her, which she easily sidestepped. Buffy went to punch him, but he caught her arm and threw her against the brick wall. He tried to hit her just as she got back on her feet, but she ducked, making him hit the wall.

"Get her out of here!" Buffy shouted at her friends before punching the vampire repeatedly in the face. "And a stake would be nice!"

Doing as instructed, Willow helped the terrified girl to her feet and took her inside while Xander ran off to find the stake in Buffy's purse. Kitty stayed back and watched the fight, not wanting to leave Buffy alone. She wasn't the only one watching either, but he remained in the shadows.

Buffy continued her assault on the vampire, hitting him in the chest. But then the vampire managed to slip out of her hold and punched her hard in the face. Buffy went spinning to the ground and laid there for a moment, stunned by the blow.

The vampire loomed over her, a smirk on his gruesome face. "I don't need to wait for St. Vigeous. You're mine."

"No, she's not!"

The last thing the vampire had been expecting was for a teenage girl to throw herself at him, legs wrapped around his neck and arms obscuring his view. He staggered backward, trying to get her off.

The chaotic distraction was just what Buffy needed, who got back on her feet. She swiped at the vampire's shins, knocking him and Kitty to the ground. Kitty crawled off him and backed up against the wall, letting Buffy handle it.

"Spike!" the vampire shouted as Buffy kicked him in the face. "Gimme a hand!"

However, the so-called Spike never showed up to help. But Xander did show back up and had a stake in hand.

"Buffy!" he shouted to get her attention.

She turned and caught the stake just as he threw it. In one, smooth motion, she plunged it into the vampire's chest. The vampire didn't even have time to fall to the ground before crumpling into a pile of dust.

"I got dirt on my dress," Kitty commented with a pout on her lips.

Buffy scoffed playfully. "I didn't tell you to latch onto that vamp like a vine."

"I think it's a tactic you should use more frequently," Kitty claimed as Buffy came over to help her off the ground. "Thanks."

Suddenly, someone started slowly clapping. They all turned and watched in confusion as the blonde man came out of the shadows. There was a pleased smirk on his lips as he stared straight at Buffy.

"Nice work, love," he praised.

"Who are you?" Buffy asked, making sure Kitty was behind her.

"You'll find out on Saturday," he said mysteriously.

"What happens on Saturday?" Buffy asked, not liking how vague he was being.

"I kill you," the vampire declared smugly.

Buffy and the others were speechless and could only watch as he walked away. Clearly, the vampire must have been powerful if he was confident enough to openly tell Buffy that he would be coming for her. And he had no problem sacrificing one of his fellow vampires to get a glimpse at her fighting style.

"Okay," Kitty whispered, biting her lip. She felt a little foolish for not realizing he was a vampire when she bumped into him inside. "Maybe there is such a thing as a jinx."

♡︎

The gang met in the library very early the next day. Not wanting to get scolded for jumping on that vampire — something Giles would definitely not be pleased with — Kitty let Buffy tell him about the attack at the Bronze when morning came. Countless books were spread over the table, most about St. Vigeous, but a few about notable vampires from history so that they could try to find out more about the blonde guy.

"Spike. That's what the other vampire called him? That's a little unorthodox, isn't it?" Giles asked, flipping through his books.

"Maybe he's reformed," Buffy suggested casually.

"Reformed what?" Kitty asked, swinging her legs back and forth as she sat on the table.

"Perhaps he went by another name in times past," Giles guessed, ignoring Kitty's question. Xander looked at her and shrugged.

"Well, whoever he is, we'll need all the help we can get come this Saturday," Jenny commented.

"So, this night of St. Vigeous deal," Xander began. "If they're gonna attack in force, aren't we thinkin' vacation?"

"We can't run, that would be wrong," Willow said, frowning. "Could we hide? I mean, if that Spike guy is leading the attack—" Willow simply shuddered, recalling how unnerved he made her.

"He's not that scary. My wings didn't even pop out," Kitty told Giles, shrugging. Then again, he also hadn't attacked them or even flashed his vampire face.

"Well, he can't be any worse than any other creature you've faced," Giles said, not wanting them to worry.

"He's worse." They all were startled as Angel appeared without them noticing. He had a deep frown on his face as he thought of Spike. "Once he starts something, he doesn't stop until everything in his path is dead."

"So, he's thorough, goal-oriented," Xander said sarcastically.

Buffy stood and moved closer to Angel, a shy look on her face. "We were at the Bronze before. Thought you said you might show."

"You said you weren't sure if you were going," he told her, the corners of his lips turning up.

"I was being cool. C'mon, you've been dating for, what, like, two hundred years? You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show?" she asked, bummed that he didn't show up with hopes of seeing her.

"Wow, two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that's still, like, four hundred dates with four hundred different..." Willow trailed off, realizing that her rambling was doing more harm than good. Now Buffy was worried about Angel's potential ex-girlfriends. Willow quickly changed the topic, gently patting the mace on the table next to Kitty's thighs. "Why do they call it a mace?"

"Well, you didn't know Buffy would be there, but you knew I would," Kitty said, crossing her arms and pouting. "How can we continue to be best friends if you don't make the effort to see me?"

"Oh, I'll be sure to try harder next time," Angel told her, smiling at the ground. Kitty was Angel's favorite of the gang, second only to Buffy for obvious and romantic reasons. He liked hanging around the carefree Cupid who often managed to wipe away the brooding expression that practically stayed on his face permanently.

"That's all I ask," Kitty said, resting her feet on the armrest of Willow's chair. "I'd die without attention from all my friends."

"We give you constant attention. Too much attention," Giles commented flatly. "And get your feet off the furniture. Now, we do have slightly more urgent matters to discuss."

"Yeah, like keeping my mom away from Principal Snyder tomorrow night," Buffy mumbled.

As the attention was off him, Angel silently slipped out of the library. But Kitty caught his eye before he left and wiggled her fingers to say goodbye.

"And not dying Saturday," Jenny said, continuing the conversation.

"Angel, do you know if this Spike fellow goes under any other name?"

They all looked at the last place Angel had been standing to notice he was gone. Kitty smiled, finding the expressions on their faces funny.

"Okay, that's it," Xander complained. "I'm puttin' a collar with a little bell on that guy."

"If he doesn't wear the friendship bracelet I made him last month, something tells me he's not gonna let you put a collar on him."

"You gave a friendship bracelet to a vampire?" Xander asked, scoffing. He waved around his wrist which had a bracelet made of red, blue, and green thread. "I thought you only gave them to Buff, Will, and me."

"Nope," she said. "Cordy and Harmony got one too. And Amy."

"Well, now this feels less special."

"Children," Giles said, sighing. "Vampiric crusade and this Spike roaming around town. Focus up."

♡︎

When Thursday came, the group was spread thin as they prepared for St. Vigeous and the Parent-Teacher night. Willow, Xander, Cordelia, and Jenny were working on making stakes while Kitty was helping Buffy put the finishing touches on the food for the night. Buffy was chopping vegetables up while Kitty arranged them on a platter.

Giles wandered around them, reading an account of the last successful St. Vigeous night. It wasn't doing anything to make them all worry less. "For three nights the unholy ones scourge themselves into a fury, um, culminating in a savage attack on the night of St. Vigeous."

"Does anybody remember when Saturday night meant date night?" Xander asked.

"You sure don't," Cordelia said snidely.

Buffy glanced at the clock, not a single thought on the coming danger on Saturday. "Parents start arriving in an hour. Okay, so, um, banners are in place, the lounge is comfy... What am I forgetting?"

"Punch?" Willow asked, knowing they'd need a drink with the veggie tray.

"Punch. I need, I need punch!" Buffy exclaimed.

"My fingers are cramping," Cordelia complained, setting down the stake she just finished. "How long have I been doing this?"

"Three minutes," Xander informed her.

"So, can I go now? She doesn't need this many stakes. I mean, if this guy Spike is as mean as you all said, it should be over pretty quickly," Cordelia said. Buffy looked up at her in disbelief. "We're still all rooting for you on Saturday. I'd be there for you myself if I didn't have a leg wax."

"You guys hold down the fort. I'm punch-bound," Buffy declared. "Kitty, with me and away from sharp things."

Kitty happily trailed after Buffy out of the library. But as soon as the door shut behind them, she looked back. "I think they're gonna eat all the food because that's exactly what I'd have done if you didn't ask me to come."

"Ugh," Buffy said, spinning around and poking her head back in the library. Just as Kitty assumed, Xander and Cordelia both had cucumber slices raised to their mouths. But they froze when they saw Buffy. "No!"

"See," Kitty said, skipping down the hallway with Buffy. "They were eating. I know things sometimes."

The two girls rushed to the nearest store and loaded up on lemons. By the time parents started arriving at the school, they had a huge serving bowl full of lemonade. They began filling up little cups so that parents could easily grab them.

"What kinda punch did you make?" Willow asked, coming over to the two of them.

"Uh, lemonade," Buffy said, handing her a cup. "We made it fresh and everything."

"How much sugar did you use?" she asked, beginning to take a sip.

Buffy and Kitty shared a confused look. All they'd done was juice all the lemons. "Sugar?" Buffy questioned.

They missed how Willow grimaced as spit the mouthful of lemon juice back into her cup before setting it down. "It's very good," she lied. How did they not know what went in lemonade? Though at least Kitty had the excuse of only being on Earth for just over a year.

"Okay, now all I have to do is keep my mother and Snyder from crossing paths for the rest of the night," Buffy said, taking a deep breath.

Willow spotted Joyce Summers over Buffy's shoulder. "Hi, Mrs. Summers," she greeted.

Joyce smiled at all of them as she came over. "Hi, Willow, Kitty. Hi, honey. Did you, uh, do all this?"

"Yeah!" Buffy said proudly as her mother admired the banners and such. She grabbed a cup of lemonade and offered it to her mother. "Um, here, have some lemonade." But then Buffy spotted Snyder on the other side of the room and knew she needed to get her mother away. "Right after Willow shows you the library. I have to stay here and hostess."

"Great, the library," Willow said, putting an arm around Joyce to guide her.

"But Giles and the others are busy making st—"

Buffy quickly cut off Kitty before she could say the wrong thing without thinking, as she often did. "Making study guides," she said. "Right, locked in studying. So, French class it is!"

As Willow led Joyce away, Kitty smiled apologetically at Buffy. Then Snyder made his way over to them, looking displeased, as he always did when Buffy was involved.

"Was that your mother?"

Buffy quickly grabbed a cup and the ladle to fill it with lemonade, hoping to distract him. When she turned back around, she faked a spill, getting the liquid all over his shoes. "Oh! Oh, sorry! Um, yeah! Yeah, I was gonna introduce you, but, um, she wouldn't have said much. Y'know, she doesn't speak a word of English."

Even Kitty knew that as far as excuses went, that was a horrible one. And Snyder didn't believe a word. He didn't bother to humor her with a response and simply walked off, hoping to track down Joyce and Willow.

"I'm sure he won't run into her," Kitty said. "Two and a half hours isn't that long. We can keep them apart."

Buffy's lips disappeared as she pressed them together and narrowed her eyes at Kitty. "One word. Three guesses as to what it is."

Sensing that she'd said something wrong, Kitty dragged the toe of her pink Converse across the tile sheepishly. "Um, lemonade?"

"No."

"Vampire?"

"Guess again."

"...Jinx?"

"See. You know things sometimes."

♡︎

To Willow's credit, she did keep Joyce away from Snyder for almost the entire two-and-a-half hours. By around 8:45, Snyder swooped in and whisked her off to his office. And by the time they came out, no doubt Buffy would be grounded until graduation.

Not wanting to be yelled at for jinxing it again, Kitty slipped away and left Buffy to sulk. She didn't go to the library either though, as Giles would no doubt lecture her on her grades. So, the safest place to hide to avoid being yelled at was in the bathroom.

Yes, it was almost nine at night, but that didn't mean she couldn't reapply her lipgloss. The Cupid stood in front of the mirror and combed her fingers through her hair, which had been dyed a dirty blonde color shortly after befriending Cordelia, who always went to the salon with her when it was time to touch it up.

Kitty's time spent admiring her reflection and hiding from Buffy was rudely interrupted by the power going on. The sudden darkness startled her, and for a moment, her wings ruffled in and out of sight uneasily. A moment later, an emergency light turned on, giving her a bit of sight. Kitty slowly wandered over to the door, trying to listen for any kind of noise.

What were the odds of it being a regular power outage instead of something dangerous?

Unfortunately, Kitty wasn't good at calculating odds, so she stepped out into the hallway after a few quiet minutes. The sound of her shoes slapping against the tile echoed through the abandoned hall. Some of the classrooms that previously had teachers in them were now empty, which was odd as there were still a few more minutes left of Parent-Teacher night.

"Buffy?" Kitty whispered, thinking she heard someone else walking toward her as she came around a corner. "Buff — not Buffy!"

A high squeak escaped Kitty's lips as she ran right into Spike. The vampire had a delighted smirk on his lips and he grabbed her wrist before she could even think about running away. There were other vampires behind him, just watching with twisted looks on their bumpy faces. They had previously been stabbing poles into the ceiling tiles, as Buffy was crawling through the vents. Kitty at least distracted them enough for Buffy to get away, even if she didn't know she was helping.

"Well, hello there, Kitten," Spike greeted. Then he used his other hand to grab her by the neck and slam her against the lockers. Kitty cringed as he leaned down and pressed his nose to her neck, taking in her scent. "God, you smell divine. What is that?"

"Oh, um, thanks," Kitty said uneasily. "It's this new perfume from Chanel. Got it at Bloomie's."

Spike tightened his hand around her throat, earning a whimper. "Not the perfume, Sweetheart. It's been a long time since someone made my mouth water like you."

Fear continued to creep up on Kitty, who was doing her best to keep her wings in check. Angel once explained that Cupid blood smelled particularly good to vampires, more so than regular human blood. And it would taste just as sweet as it smelled. That meant Kitty was constantly a target for vampire attacks.

Luckily, her best friend was the Slayer. Unluckily, said Slayer wasn't here at the moment.

"Look, Billy Idol—"

"Hey!" Spike interrupted, pointing a finger with chipped black nail polish in her face. "He stole this look from me."

"Oh, that, uh, that's kinda neat," Kitty admitted. "But, uh, kill me, and the Slayer's gonna totally wreck your shit, my dude. Yeah."

"Ooh, Kitten, I'm shaking in my boots," he said in a mocking tone, looking quite amused. Kitty was about as threatening as a, well, kitten. Hopefully, Buffy would come along soon to do the real threatening. Once again, he brought his nose and lips close to her neck, and she flinched. "Time to draw out a Slayer."

Kitty didn't really have a choice but to let Spike drag her around the school, a grip on her upper arm that would no doubt leave a bruise. "You know, I hate to poke holes in your evil plan, but I've been kidnapped and held as leverage lots of times. Me and my friend Xander, actually. Damsels in distress, he and I. And it never really works out for said kidnappers."

"I'm not kidnapping you for leverage, love," he informed her. "I'm taking you as a Happy Meal to go whether the Slayer shows or not."

"That... that's still kidnapping," she muttered under her breath. "And really? Just a Happy Meal? I'm not even a ten-piece or a Big Mac?"

"Most of my victims don't talk this much unless it's begging for their life," he grumbled, rolling his eyes. "You're very annoying."

"You sound like my teachers," Kitty said, sighing. "You could've at least attacked before Snyder told Giles my GPA is a 2.3."

"Explains why you're not even smart enough to be scared," Spike said under his breath.

"Hey!" she snapped, not appreciating the comment. "Mean! And I am scared, thanks very much. Not being able to shut up is a side effect of being super terrified."

"Oh, you called me mean. That hurts my feelings," he said sarcastically. Then their bickering was cut off by two people walking through the front entrance. Well, one walked and one was dragged.

Kitty watched with wide eyes as Angel — fully evil vampire face on display — dragged Xander in by his neck, similar to how Spike was holding Kitty. She just couldn't understand what kind of stupid plan this was.

To her surprise, Spike seemed delighted to see Angel. "Angelus!"

"Spike!" Angel exclaimed, a wide grin on his face.

"I'll be damned," Spike said, chuckling as he walked over to meet him, dragging Kitty along.

Neither vampire cared about their hostage as the two hugged. With their faces so close together and hidden by the hug, Xander managed to mouth the words 'play along' to Kitty just before Spike and Angel parted.

"I taught you to always guard your perimeter," Angel told him, tutting in disapproval. "You should have someone out there."

"I did. I'm surrounded by idiots," he replied, rolling his eyes. "What's new with you?"

"Everything," Angel said, shrugging carelessly.

"Yeah. Come up against this Slayer yet?" he questioned.

"She's cute," Angel said with a smirk. "Not too bright, though. Brighter than the one you've got at least. Can you say 'ditzy'?"

Angel knew he'd have to apologize for that one later, seeing the hurt look flash across Kitty's face.

"It's not the brain on this one that I'm thinking about," Spike said, chuckling. "Tell me it's not just me. This one smells different. Irresistible. Thinking she'll make a nice treat to share with Dru later."

As he spoke, Spike pushed Kitty's head to the side so that he could smell her once more, nose brushing along her skin as she cringed.

"Could you stop smelling my neck? It's creepy," she informed him, a slight tremor in her voice. "I've gotta get me one of those T-necklaces like Buff wears."

That comment made Spike pause and he finally put some distance between him and her neck. "T-necklace?"

"You know. The T that burns you guys. Wouldn't be sniffing me if I had one. Xand, if we don't die, let me know where to find one," she said.

Xander didn't know whether to call her an idiot or a genius, as this was definitely stalling for time. "A cross, Kitty," he told her.

"Across from where?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No. It's called a cross. Jesus died on it," he claimed. "It's not a T. Why would a lowercase letter T burn vampires?"

"Well, how am I supposed to know how Jesus died? I didn't even know who the dude was before last—"

"Are you two doing a bit?" Spike asked, looking between Kitty and Xander in disbelief. "This is the dumbest distraction technique I've ever witnessed if so."

It was good he interrupted when he did as Kitty was about to say something about how she'd only been on earth for a year. And the religions of the world weren't at the top of Giles' list of things to teach her.

"I told you. Idiots," Angel said, scoffing. "And the Slayer is the easiest to fool. Gave the puppy dog 'I'm all tortured' act. Keeps her off my back when I feed!"

Angel and Spike laughed together as if it was a funny joke. "People still fall for that Anne Rice routine? What a world!"

"I knew you were lying," Xander muttered. Angel only tightened his hold around him to try and shut him up. "Undead liar guy."

Angels gripped Xander's hair and forced his head down, exposing the back of his neck. He looked at Spike expectantly. "Wanna bite before we kill her?"

"No! Let him go!" Kitty demanded, struggling in Spike's hold. He was too strong though, and it didn't make any difference.

Instead of sinking his teeth into Xander, Spike studied Angel. "I haven't seen you in the killing fields for an age."

"I'm not much for company," he said stiffly.

"No, you never were. So, why're you so scared of this Slayer?"

"Scared?" he asked, scoffing.

"Yeah. Time was you would've taken her out in a heartbeat," Spike said, recalling how wicked Angelus had been. "Now look at you. I bet this, uh, tortured thing is an act, right? You're not... housebroken?"

Angel did his best to keep up the evil act as he shrugged. "I saw her kill the Master. Hey, you think you can take her alone? Be my guest. I'll just feed and run."

Angel let out a low growl and bent toward Xander's neck. Spike held up a hand to stop him, not wanting to miss out on a snack. "Don't be silly! We're all friends. We'll do it together. Let's drink to it."

Spike didn't care that Kitty's face was smushed up against Xander's as he leaned closer to the human. However, before either vampire could bite him, Spike punched Angel in the face, making him stagger backward. Kitty was thrown back against the lockers angrily as Spike practically threw a tantrum.

"You think you can fool me?" Spike asked angrily as Xander and Angel backed toward the exit. "You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda!"

Kitty had to refrain from making a Star Wars comment. But she just couldn't picture someone like Spike sitting in a theater to watch it.

"Things change," Angel said, his face now back to normal.

"Not us! Not demons! Man, I can't believe this. You Uncle Tom!" Spike shouted. He grabbed one of the metal poles they'd previously been stabbing in the ceiling. "Come on, people! This isn't a spectator sport!"

"Kitty!" Angel shouted as the other vampires roared and moved toward them.

"Just run!" she told him, not wanting them to get hurt.

With a reluctant look, both Xander and Angel fled from the school, the other vampires following. Spike turned to Kitty with a smirk, who was still cowering against the lockers. But then just as he sensed another presence behind him, her trembling stopped and her eyes moved to the other end of the hallway.

"Fe, fi, fo fum. I smell the blood of a nice ripe girl," Spike said tauntingly before he turned to face Buffy.

"Kitty, get behind me." The Cupid didn't have to be told twice, who ran to the safety of the Slayer. Buffy was watching Spike with a dark expression, an ax clutched in her hands. "Do we really need weapons for this?"

"I just like them. They make me feel all manly," he said, shrugging.

But Spike did drop the pole. Buffy let the hand holding the ax fall, and Kitty took it from her, wanting some protection if other vampires came along. Buffy and Spike sized each other up, neither one particularly intimidated.

"The last Slayer I killed, she begged for her life," he said as Buffy watched him intently. "You don't strike me as the begging kind."

"You shouldn't've come here," Buffy said.

"No," Spike said, glancing at all the banners. "I've messed up your doilies and stuff. But I just got so bored. I'll tell you what. As a personal favor from me to you, I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a bit. Your little friend though — I'll drag that out for days before I drain her."

Thankfully, Spike's threats toward Kitty weren't near as scary with Buffy there.

"No, Spike," Buffy said lowly. "It's gonna hurt a lot."

Spike made the first move, which Buffy easily dodged. The pair exchanged several blows that would've had Kitty on the floor crying if she were on the receiving end. And she certainly wouldn't have gotten back up as Buffy did if she was thrown into the wall. Buffy retaliated by punching Spike repeatedly in the face. He caught her arm and shoved her up against the wall, and she quickly dropped to avoid his next punch, which sent his fist through the wall. She got behind him and delivered a hard kick to his neck.

"Now, that hurt!" Spike complained. Then he pulled his arm out of the wall, ripping a stud out with it, and swung it against Buffy's face. It sent her flying back and she landed close to Kitty. "But not as much as this will."

Spike stood over Buffy and went to hit her again with the stud. But someone arrived suddenly and snatched the ax from Kitty's hand and rammed it into the back of Spike's head. Spike went sprawling to the floor and looked up at Joyce Summers, his attacker.

Joyce held the ax high, ready to swing it again. "You get the hell away from my daughter!"

Buffy quickly got back on her feet, and the Summers women looked down at Spike, who seemed to realize he wouldn't be winning tonight.

"Women," he spat bitterly. Then Spike jumped up and ran through the lounge, jumping out the broken window that he'd arrived in.

Joyce exhaled in relief and dropped the ax. "Nobody lays a hand on my little girl," she declared. Then she hugged Buffy tightly, glad that she wasn't hurt. Next, Joyce looked down at Kitty, who was still on the floor and looking out the window that Spike jumped out of. "Or precious Kitty."

Of course, when Joyce called Kitty precious, it was always veering on the edge of condescending. Joyce overheard her and Buffy studying once where Kitty had quite confidently answered that Thomas Jefferson invented the lightbulb. The next morning, Buffy wanted to the ground to swallow her whole when her mother asked if Kitty was mentally deficient in some way. Buffy's exact response was, "No. She's just stupid," though Kitty would never know about it. Buffy couldn't exactly explain that her friend never went to elementary or middle school, meaning she was missing out on a lot of basic information. Even with being in the low-level classes, Giles and Willow put in a lot of work to keep Kitty from completely flunking out.

With all the vampires run off, the police arrived and everyone escaped the school. Everyone was accounted for except Willow and Cordelia, so Kitty wandered back into the empty school, calling out for them. She found them holed up in a supply closet, and if she hadn't come along, they may have remained there all night, too scared to check and see if it was all over.

On the walk out of the school, Kitty filled both girls in on everything that happened, including Spike catching her and Angel's little evil act. Kitty didn't like how easy it was for him to act so cruelly.

"He just didn't have to be so mean. Didn't have to call Buffy dumb or me ditzy."

"Well, you kind of are," Cordelia said, shrugging. "And you've been called worse."

"I'm sure he didn't mean 'ditzy' in a bad way!" Willow said, coming to Angel's defense. "Xander's pretty ditzy too, though that's probably not a comforting comparison now that I think about it. But - but Angel will apologize. You're his best friend — actually, his only friend. He won't want you to be sad."

And Willow was right.

Not long after Kitty returned to Giles' apartment, where she was staying, Angel found his way into her room. She was sitting backward on her desk chair so that it wouldn't get in the way as she combed her fingers through the feathers of her wings that she could reach. Many of them were uncomfortable and out of place after the event at the school.

Kitty might not could walk around school and town with her set of fluffy, white wings on display, but at home, she was free to stretch them out. It wasn't uncomfortable to hide them, but it was one less thing to think about and focus on. Giles had long since gotten used to seeing them at the breakfast table.

"You're not ditzy," was the first thing Angel said once his feet touched the ground. "Or dumb."

"Yeah, I am," Kitty said, sighing. "Even Cordy thinks I am."

"I don't think you are," Angel told her, coming to lean back against her desk. "You don't need to understand what they teach in public schools. I never went to school."

"You're like a billion years old. They didn't even have schools," she grumbled, earning an amused scoff.

"I'm not a billion," he told her. "But Kitty, you learn and you grow as a new human in this body every day. And I don't think less of you for the things you don't know. I know I hurt your feelings back there, but I didn't have time to warn you like I did with Xander. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Kitty said, feeling a little better. "You can make it up to me somehow."

Angel shut his eyes and sighed. "Please don't say karao—"

"I'm thinking another karaoke night next time Giles has a night out," Kitty said, grinning.

The Watcher bought the karaoke machine at Kitty's request only to very quickly regret it. Kitty may be learning each day, but learning to sing wasn't one of those things. Even if she didn't sound good, she had fun nonetheless. And the Cupid had persuaded Angel to use the karaoke machine exactly three times, who was somehow even worse than her. But the vampire would never admit that he used it to anyone, even Buffy.

"Can't I just... take you on a shopping spree?" Angel asked. Though internally, he kind of liked the fun he had when goofing off with Kitty, forgetting about all the troubles and the weight of his soul.

"Better brush up on your Beach Boys," Kitty said in a singy-tune.

"Oh, God. Not The Beach Boys."

"Don't pretend like you're better than The Beach Boys, Angel," she said with a scoff.

"Fine, but I'm not singing Kokomo," he informed her, knowing good and well that Kokomo was Kitty's favorite song by them. "Oh, before I forget. I snagged this for you."

Kitty watched as Angel dug something out of his pants pocket and then held out a small black back for her. As someone who loved gifts and material possessions, Kitty excitedly took the box, which she assumed contained a present.

Taking off the lid revealed a necklace with a dainty, golden cross hanging off the chain. It put a big smile on Kitty's face.

"I got you a T-necklace."

♡︎

Spike may have been cross about not killing the Slayer, but he made up for that disappointment by burning the little brat that called himself the Anointed One alive. He made it very clear to the leftover followers that he was the one in charge now.

Most everyone was too scared to say anything as Spike took the hand of a delighted Drusilla to lead her to their room in the factory.

"Let's see what's on TV," Spike said, feeling his mood improve.

But before the couple could make it to their room, Drusilla came to a sudden stop and clutched her head. She let out a low pained moan, and Spike held her shoulders to keep her upright.

"What is it, pet? What do you see?"

"You," she said breathlessly. "Wrapped in wings that hide you from my mind."

"Then don't look at me in your mind. Open your eyes. I'm right here, love," he said, trying to fend off a potential fit.

"But here, you are not. Not forever," Drusilla said, her mind swimming with thoughts she hardly understood. "Arrow and arrow and arrow. Already surrounded by wings."

"Arrows of the Slayer? Does she fancy crossbows?" Spike asked, trying to make sense of it all, especially if there was a threat.

But there was no sense to be made. Drusilla continued to deteriorate, a useless babble of arrows and wings and losing Spike. And it would be a long, long time before Spike would even begin to make sense of it all.