It was a clear August sky with cool breeze flowing all across and few clouds going here and there near the moon. It's wasn't a full moon night, but it was indeed a beautiful night. A car was rushing across the roads of Jodhpur. And with the same speed were crossing various thoughts in the mind of the boy seated in the backseat of the car. The car stopped at the entrance gate of airport. The guy quickly looked around, got off his taxi, paid the driver, boarded his luggage onto the luggage trolley and rushed inside the airport.

The night kept getting darker as clocked ticked past midnight. Sipping his 4th strong extra sweet coffee sat a guy in his late twenties. Guy with big dramatic black eyes, curly hair and a restlessness reflecting clearly on his face. He kept fidgeting with his headphones until announcement was made. It was time for his boarding.

He was Siddharth Ganju. The famous hotelier Uday Ganju's only son. Who also happened to be Royal blood. As everyone had expected that Siddharth once finishes his graduation will join his father in his well flourished and well spread hospitality business and that's what exactly happened.

Siddharth who had dozed off to sleep woke up as the pilot announced that they were about to land Pune in after an hour. Siddharth turned his face towards the window. Only to find that Sun peeping from behind the thick blankets of heavy monsoon clouds who looked ready to just pour themselves on the mother earth. And the slowly Sun paving its way as it breaks free itself from the grip of clouds. Various shades of orange, red and yellow merging with thick snow-white clouds. Beauty is what one could see in any direction the sight could travel.

After grabbing a quick burger and a softie there was Siddharth boarding another taxi that would take him to his destination for the day. Though Siddharth was running low in his sleep count since past few days but the lush green scenery by the highway was not something he could miss out. Siddharth's phone rang for the 16th time. Unaffected by the ring sat there Siddharth humming tunes of the songs that rang through his headphones. As the song got over Siddharth glanced through his phone screen, switched it off and put it inside his bag. Letting the phone slip away to the beneath of the bag. The car applied breaks and announced the arrival of his destination of the day- Lonavala.

There comes a phase in everyone's life where you no longer feel like connecting with people. You don't even try. If someone walks away, you hold the door for them and wave them goodbye. You let them go. You often feel like you're the side character of your own story. You often feel like you don't belong anywhere. There's this emptiness you keep feeling, and nothing ever fills that void. You always feel you're on the outside. When you are with your friends and they make inside jokes, you feel left out. When you're having gala family time at the living room of your house, you sit all by yourself in a corner feeling like an outsider.

Everything has changed. And when everything changed, you were forced to change, too. You turned quieter. You are now just getting by, one day at a time. All you're left with emptiness, a conflict, a voice that says, to stop running, to find a place, to settle down. And you too want to find a place that accepts you with open arms but you don't know where exactly where to look for this place. Place where feel belonged. Place where you feel at home.

And that's exactly why Siddharth is here was, all by himself on a two weeks long trekking and camping trip. Away from the chaos of the city. Away from his connections, family and friends. Away from his phone. Away from the world. Away from life that he had been living without thinking much. Away from his routine self.

And it was first time in so many years he didn't felt conscious before speaking, walking and breathing. He felt somewhat at relief. He had missed this feeling since so long. He had missed feeling things so much. He had missed his life so much.

What accompanied Siddharth in this road trip was lush green trees and monsoon mist that made the scenery outside the car window look beyond earthy.

Siddharth stepped out of the car. He took a deep breathe, he was looking around when he was greeted by the camp host- Naksh. He showed Siddharth his way to the tent allotted to him. Siddharth kept his bags inside the tent, after few minutes of aimlessly examining the tent, he thought of going around the camp site.

The sun was all set to retire after a long day. The whole sky was painted in various shades of orange, yellow with a pinch of pink here and there. Monsoons had turned Lonavala all decked up in various shades of green. All trees were covered with lush green leaves. All lakes and waterfalls were revived. Everything combined together made Lonavala look beyond beautiful.

Everyone was asked to assemble and take a seat by the camp fire. It was time for the introductory session were everyone had to introduce themselves. Being an introvert Siddharth hatted such sessions. His heartbeat increased as soon as a person completed their introduction because it meant his turn was nearer. Somehow Siddharth managed to utter his name and gave a short crisp introduction.

After introduction session food was set and everyone was asked to help themselves up. Mostly everyone till now had got along on another and had someone or the other to accompany them. And Siddharth had his thoughts. Occupied with thoughts Siddharth served himself food and started walking his way to find himself a seat. Siddharth was so busy scanning through the campsite to find himself a quiet place to have his dinner that he stepped on a rock and was about to stumble and fall when someone held his hands, that eventually saved Siddharth from falling.

When helped himself standing straight and turned to thank the person who had helped him.

T-thank you-u, said Siddharth.

She was a young girl with deep dark brown straight hair running all the way down much of her back, few strands flew due to the windy monsoon August breeze and her expressive black eyes added on to her beauty.

Siddharth quietly kept looking at her for few moments and whose return she greeted him with a dazzling bright ear to ear smile.

Sanjana, she said giving an unasked introduction.

Siddharth, answered back Siddharth giving formality-stricken answer.

And soon she left in the other direction. Siddharth again started looking for a place to sit.

Siddharth finally found a seat by a tree. The camp host informed everyone about next day's plan before letting everyone retire for the day.

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After few hours of rolling here and there on his small foldable bed placed inside the tent Siddharth thought of roaming around a little in the open space by his tent. Maybe fresh breeze could help him cure his insomnia.

The night was dark. dark, black, dark blue, as if a black piece of velvet had been lied over the sky and sprinkled with shinning gems, sapphire, azure, violet, peacock blue, delft, aqua, navy, steel, cobalt was a dark, serene night as the luminous moon gleamed and the white twinkling stars gave harmony at the black, blue sky. Twinkling, radiant, lucid, perspicuous. The night sky was covered with uncountable tiny little spark of the fireballs existing millions of miles away. His curly hair was coming in front of his eyes but unaffected he sat there lost in staring the night sky.

Looks like sleep is far away from your catch, came a voice from behind.

It was Sanjana.

Looks like that's the case with you too, answered back Siddharth.

Sometimes its beauty of night that keeps me up, said Sanjana looking into the night sky.

Sometimes its stillness of night in which I find my solace, said Siddharth.

Sanjana looked at time. He was still looking in the sky. Maybe search his today's share of solace.

His face glimmered in the night sky's glow. Sanjana just kept looking at him. Strange isn't it we all look same at the surface but only heart knows what we are going through.

Better doze yourself to sleep tomorrow's trek is awaiting you, said Sanjana as she left.    

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Sun peeping from behind the thick blankets of heavy monsoon clouds who looked ready to just pour themselves on the mother earth. And the slowly Sun paving its way as it breaks free itself from the grip of clouds. And flock of birds flying away in the wide endless sky. The bright blue sky painting itself in various shades of orange, red and yellow. Beauty is what one could see in any direction the sight could travel.

Siddharth took out his DSLR camera from his bag. Yes, the same camera that had been buried deep behind piles of clothes in his cupboard. It was Siddharth's new found love for photography that he had discovered in his second year of college. It was the same camera that his father had gifted him on his graduation day. How happy Siddharth was that day. But when camera got replaced with piles of files in his cabin even Siddharth didn't know, just like how carefree attitude of Siddharth got replaced by constant stress of business.

Siddharth started fixing the lens of the camera. When the camp host announced that it was time to start of the day's trek.

Though this was Siddharth's first trek and he was a bit stressed about it but the scene beauty of the path made Siddharth let go the unnecessary stress.

The bag looks heavy, said Siddharth as he indicated to the huge mountaineer bag that Sanjana was lifting on her back.

Being a trek guide isn't that simple afterall, said Sanjana with a smile.

Will you carry it all the way, said Siddharth.

"Wherever we go, we carry our baggage with us. Not all baggage is necessarily bad. After all, it can help keep us grounded and humble, preventing us from flying off the handle.", said Sanjana.

And is that true about the load of past we all carry too, asked Siddharth.

However, a lot of the baggage is unnecessary, and carrying it around can cripple us in ways that would block our progress. In many cases, it may also derail us off our path, leading us to become lost and without a clue in which direction to turn. The past isn't meant to be attached to us like prison shackles. It's meant to be released and let go. Take it upon yourself to make peace with your past, heal it, and release it with love. It may not be the easiest thing to do, but it will definitely make the journey of life an easier one, said Sanjana.

Sanjana moved ahead but left behind her words to think about with Siddharth.

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And from that first day of trek to last day time just flew. Siddharth enjoyed each and every moment spent here. Something he hadn't done in years. The burden that he always felt on his chest finally drift away. He was smiling again but this time for real.

And soon short conversations with Sanjana turned into never ending chatterings. From talking all the way during treks to humming to songs at night as they dipped their tired legs into hot water after day's trek to dancing by the camp fire to adore sunrises together to sipping hot tea as they watched evenings turn into night to get drenched in sudden rain showers to cracking lame jokes and laughing like mad men. Siddharth found his lost happiness along Sanjana.

It was last night of the camping trip. The night still young. After having dinner when Sanjana couldn't find Siddharth during dinner time and in his tent, she set out in search of him. And found Siddharth sitting at the back side of the camp site in silence under a huge tree.

Here you are..you know I have been searching for you since so long, said Sanjana as she sat by Siddharth.

Sanjana, I don't want to go back, said Siddharth turning towards her. His swollen red eyes were evident of the fact that he had been crying since long.

Sanjana just side hugged Siddharth. Shocked by the sudden hug but at the moment Siddharth felt way too vulnerable to even think to react. Siddharth let himself into her arms. Arms in which he felt safe. Sanjana felt the tears tickling down Siddharth's cheeks and surrendering them on Sanjana's shoulder.

We cry when we try to forcefully hide our emotions or when mere words cannot describe what we were feeling that moment. What is it Siddharth, that's bothering you? asked Sanjana.

I feel useless. I feel that everyone expects me has things sorted. Everyone knows what to do with life. They know in which direction to move. They know what is their strength. I feel everyone is moving ahead and here I am all stuck. All clueless about what to do, where to start, how to do and what not. Everything in my life feels out of place. I feel that the world is moving ahead I am left behind. People getting out of sight. I feel that there's someone within me who's not happy with who I am, what I am, what I am doing and that's draining. It feels as if a part of me I way too tired of me and wants to leave me, said Siddharth as he finished with a heavy sigh.

You might have experienced things or people slipping away and you couldn't do much about that. You might have indulged into overthinking without any way out. So, what did you finally do? You had to let it go. You had to let it be. You had to let yourself grow. Cliché but so true that things that seem the hardest to leave make you the toughest when you leave them. So, is it always about leaving? No, it has always been about staying but only in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. As confusing as your life might seem to you right now, you should know you're not the only one. We all are taking wrong decisions, making unsuccessful connections, hiding true emotions, avoiding meaningful lessons. But what we all should also acknowledge is how beautifully we are coming out of everything life is trying to push us into. So, what is it that we might be doing wrong? What we might be doing wrong is complicating things for ourselves. The art of living is not just about wisely making the right choices. It's also about calmly learning from the wrong ones. You live when you learn. You learn when you simplify things for yourself. So, in the race of trying to know everything, pause and value what you already know. Sometimes not having an answer is the exact answer you need. And one thing that we aren't told, no one has it all figured out. We all are humans. We all are trying. Some hit the right spot earlier than others but that's okay, said Sanjana.

Whenever we feel stuck in life, we must remember that it's because there are a lot of emotional blockages that have been created due to suppressing deep feelings and past memories. This is also what causes indecision, as well as, what makes us procrastinate and delay things because so much of our energy is being used to keep things bottled up. Find ways to open the emotional 'flood gates' in a healthy manner in order to be free from unwanted burdens and move on ahead in life. We need to understand that the chaos that's going on around us, is a reflection of the chaos that's within us. Every battle we fight with others is a reflection of the battle that we fight within us. Thus, in order to find peace and love with the world around us, we need to develop a peaceful and loving relationship with ourselves. Yes, it's easier said than done, but a little self-work on a daily basis can lead to powerful and perhaps even magical transformations within our lives in ways we cannot imagine, continued Sanjana after a short pause.

But is not something we all do, asked Siddharth.

Of course, we all do suppress out feelings. Not once, not twice but God knows how many times we have done so. During our growing up years, all of us may have been told things like, "Don't cry", "You can't be so weak", "You have to be strong". The intent may be good but the outcome of these statements is mostly not so good. Emotions are integral to us. They are automatic and unavoidable. Invalidating someone's emotions lead to suppression of those emotions, and that tends to have detrimental effects. Emotions and feelings are like energy which need a release for a healthy functioning. Suppressing emotions or hiding feelings is like getting it out of sight but not out of mind. And anything which is suppressed for long goes to the unconscious mind which eventually gets its release through undesirable behaviors unconsciously. Stoicism and stiff upper lip have often been glorified especially for certain sections of society. The act of expressing emotion is frowned upon in our society. We've been told "Don't cry", "Get over it" and to brush off our feelings since childhood, giving the impression that emotional expression is wrong. We frequently find ourselves in a position of perplexity, unsure of how to react to a certain scenario, said Sanjana.

Today is my 30th birthday. And when I look back today all I find is that all my decisions from what should I eat to which degree to peruse to what to do with life were taken by someone else. All these years I kept wondering what exactly was missing me in life. Out of sudden I realize that I myself was missing in my life all these years. I am 3 decades old and still am figuring out what to do with life. I guess I am a living failure, said Siddharth with a heavy sigh.

Our society has fixed criteria's set for what that need to ticked at to be living a success full life. Finish school, finish college with this grade, finish masters with this much package, get married and have kids by this age. And it's okay to have criteria sets but problems start arising when they want all of us fit in the same boxes. They fail to understand that in life we all have to live through all our set of ups and downs and triumphs to know what peace feels like, failures to know what exactly success means to us.

I too fell in this trap. I tired fitting into the boxes of society thinking it's made for me too, tried hard and harder without even realizing all this while that these boxes weren't for me. Got married to someone that my family selected for me thinking they know the best without realizing that choice may be theirs but life was mine. Things didn't work out. And after 5 years of living a life that was supposed to happy but ended up in me feeling loneliest even in my own skin, there was I signing papers of law that gave me freedom from the ties of marriage. Life seemed all okay for few days but then I was left with this haunting question of what now? What next? After spending few nights staring at the celling there was, I packing bags to explore the world unseen and unknown to me. So, with bags on my shoulders and nervousness of new beginnings I boarded the bus. From that first day to today here I am exploring the world wide in front and within me. And trust me both are very beautiful, said Sanjana with a spark in her eyes narrating the tale of wrongs to rights in her life. Afterall it's wrongs in the life that teaches us what right looks like.

I am a clinical phycologist. I help people sort their lives and live a peaceful life. After years of toiling my head into books when finally, I got my degree of a clinical phycologist. I was happiest. Slowly after hearing people day in and day out. Helping them to find better ways to live life. Helping them look life through different glasses. I felt behind myself somewhere way behind. And when I wanted to get my life on track, I didn't have anyone. So, I packed my bag, stuffed in pieces of me and left home in search of peace. After 4 years of roaming here and there all around the globe I finally realized that the peace I was in search of in distant places was breathing within me, in small moments of life. In moments like when I sipped tea and got lost in memories of yesteryears that left a smile on my face, when I treated myself with my favourite food, when I got dressed up on random days just because I felt like, when I hummed tunes of old songs as I pressed my clothes, and there are so many of them. It's us who make simple things complicate and then try simplifying them, said Sanjana.

Sometimes, the things we're seeking in order to find fulfilment are never outside. The things that'll truly give our life meaning are those that are within our grasp, but we're too blind to see them for what they are. Rather than searching the furthest corners of the world, within the hearts of those that are distant – look within. All the answers you seek are buried deep within your heart and soul. It can be scary to go that deep – but I assure you – it'll be the most rewarding journey you've ever embarked upon. Sometimes, we try to avoid the unpleasant aspects of life – especially when they are linked with the murky and shadowy aspects of our psyche. After all, there is so much going on not just in your life, but also in the collective consciousness at large, it only makes sense not to bog ourselves down with the darkness. However, it's important that you not only face your darkness – but also embrace it. For the more we try to suppress, ignore, or avoid it altogether – the more powerful it gets, and the more persistently it haunts us – crippling us in ways we cannot even dare imagine. However, by looking it straight in the eye, and having the strength to (gasp!) embrace and accept it – we disempower it, and eventually – we are free from it!   The darkness isn't a bad thing. After all, seeds germinate in the darkness of the earth they're buried within, continued Sanjana.

Siddharth just kept looking at her as if trying to grasp all that she uttered.

Sometimes we reach a point in life where we need to focus on just 'being'. After all, we are 'Human Beings', not 'Human Doings'. Sometimes, when we focus so much on getting things done and marking various items on our checklists – we lose sight of who we are, and that causes us to get derailed from our true paths. By letting go of that need to be constantly on the go, we can finally take a much-needed peaceful breath and actually discover how we can just 'be' in life – enabling us to find the peace we never knew existed. However, it's not as easy as it seems. For some of us, it may seem incredibly daunting to take a pause and not 'do' anything – plaguing us with a strange kind of guilt and shame that we are not 'doing'. The fact that guilt and shame creep in is a sign that you've forgotten how to just 'be'. It's more than just being present in life – especially at the present moment. It's about finding a sense of inner peace so mighty that nothing can knock you down in any which way. In a way, learning how to 'be' is almost like a superpower of our own. Life will always be an uncertain bag of mixed incidents. People will always be mysterious. Times will always be different. But it's you who gets to decide how you want to live. Choose to live in a way that makes you feel better. But first start allowing yourself to feel everything. Let yourself feel what you want to. Your feelings need you more than you need them. And if you feel now is the time you want to be happy again, you're halfway done by merely accepting what you felt! Stop changing for the world, start changing for the better, said Sanjana.

This is a powerful time to broaden your horizons. Do not limit yourself courtesy of the narrow visions of those around you. They only see the sky, but you can see the trillions of stars in galaxies that are light-years away. The very fact that you can see them, shows that you have it in you not only to reach for them – but to also conquer them. Do so with your head held high, and your heart empowered so well, that no one's thunder clouds dampen your sunny disposition and stellar ambitions, continued Sanjana as she smiled at Siddharth.

Siddharth hugged her back and stayed there for few more moments. He felt at peace. Sanjana caressed his curly hair.

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Soon rose the Sun above the horizon shooing away the darkness that night had brought along. And after breakfast it was finally it was time to bid each other goodbye. A with a promise to soon catch up both set on their own paths. Siddharth returned back to his normal life and so did Sanjana. Life moved on. Calendar kept changing leaves from dates to months to years. And three years passed by.

Siddharth may have not met Sanjana again after that trip but he had tried to incorporate each and every word that Sanjana had uttered to him as a part of his life. He had parted his way from his dad's hospitality business and started a new apparel chain all by himself. Yes, his sales match to fail that of that of his dad's hotel chain business but he slept each night with peace and satisfaction. With sheer hard work and perseverance Siddharth had finally able to do what he really wanted to do. Maybe late but finally he was living his life. Siddharth was sitting in cabin of his showroom when a notification popped up his phone. Siddharth picked up his phone and an ear-to-ear smile crept on his face. It was a picture of his friend who had gone a trip to Lonavala. The same place where Siddharth had encounter Sanjana for the very first time. The girl who changed Siddharth's life. In few moments, all moments spent along Sanjana flashed in front of his eyes. And without even giving any second thought Siddharth asked his secretary to book him flight tickets to Pune. And in just span of few hours Siddharth found himself boarding flight to Pune and then a taxi to Lonavala.

As the taxi drove nearer to Lonavala so did increase Siddharth's heartbeat. He had no idea whether he would still find Sanjana working in that campsite. The car applied breaks and now he felt as if his heart would jump out. He got off the taxi.

With each step flashes of memories came infront of his eyes, from karaoke nights to barbeque evenings to trekking trips to movie night everything was alive in Siddharth's memory. He saw a lot of people around but through the crowd of people scattered all over his eyes searched for the one, whose just memory made Siddharth leave his work on hold and run here. After 20 minutes of searching here and there disappointed Siddharth sat by the same tree that was his go to place each night during his stay during the trip. He hugged the tree. Someone tapped Siddharth's shoulder. Excited Siddharth turned thinking the touch to be by the one he was looking for but alas it was the driver.

Shall we leave sir, asked the driver.

You go I am coming in few minutes, said Siddharth.

Siddharth looked around a lot of things had changed. Siddharth's eyes were still in search of that one face. Running his gaze here and there started walking Siddharth. Siddharth stepped on a rock and was about to fall when a pair of arms held him. His eyes travelled all the way up to see to whom those pair of arms belonged to. To his amazement it was the same face he was looking for.

Looks like three years weren't enough for you to learn how to walk without stumbling, isn't Siddharth, said Sanjana.

Siddharth smiled at her comment and hugged her instantly. The hug was so spontaneous that Sanjana barely had time to react. She just smiled and hugged him back.

You look different, mentioned Sanjana at the changed look of Siddharth. No more lines of stress on his face.

I take that as a compliment, said Siddharth.

And you look beautiful, said Siddharth as he kept looking at Sanjana. Same chirpiness of her face, charming dazzling smile on her lips and dark kajal on her eyes made her look elegant. She looked just the same just her hair was cut short and now ran just till her shoulders and were left open.

Sanjana smiled at the sudden compliment.

So, what brings you here after so long, asked Sanjana.

You, said Siddharth.

Sanjana looked surprised at his answer.

Came here to thank you, said Siddharth

Then thank me, said Sanjana smiling at him

Thank you, Sanjana, said Siddharth.

And may I ask why you came all the way from Jaipur to thank me, asked Sanjana.

Thank you for making me understand what exactly Life is, in life we encounter many people who make us fall in love with them but very small percentage of people make us fall in love ourselves. I met in my lowest phase and unknowingly you helped me pull myself up. Thank you, Sanjana, for everything, you really are beautiful inside out. It's you that even after so many years drew me towards you. And look here I am after three years running back to you, said Siddharth.

Sanjana smiled at him.

I am happy for you and I must say I love this happy Siddharth more, said Sanjana.

Siddharth smd at her.

And how did you know that I must be here, asked Sanjana. 

You said you loved monsoons in Lonavala and make sure no matter where you are rest of the year you make sure to spend monsoons here in the camp, said Siddharth. 

And you remembered this, asked Sanjana. 

Yes..just like all other words uttered by you, said Siddharth looking straight into her deep dark eyes. 

Is that all you came for....just to thank me, asked Sanjana.

Actually, I came you make you an offer, said Siddharth

What offer? Asked Sanjana

Offer that Ms. Sanjana will you like me to accompany in this journey called life, asked Siddharth as he forwarded his hand towards her.

Ahmm...well I will have to think about it....... shall we talk about it over cup of tea by the same tree you used to sit by, said Sanjana in dramatic way.

Sanjana went ahead and following her went Siddharth. 

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Hope this story was able to leave behind a smile on your face. Do vote and comment.