A/n: this takes place in middle school... you'll see why.

(In the hallway)

Jared (to Rich): Hey Dick.

Rich: My name ith not Dick!

Jared: Your name is Richard, correct?

Rich: Yeth.

Jared (scrolling on his phone): According to Google, people with the name Richard can be called Richard, Rich, Richie, Dick, et cetera.

Rich: I hate you.

Jared: Thanks Dick, but I have to go to class.

Teacher: Jared Kleinman, go to the principal's office.

Jared: Ok.

(At the principal's office)

Jared: Why are you here?

JD: I tried to blow up the school again. You? (JD TRIED to blow up the school but he didn't die. That's why it's set in middle school. He still dies in high school.)

Jared: I called Richard Goranski Dick.

JD: You called him Dick or a dick?

Jared: Dick, as in the nickname for Richard.

JD: You shouldn't go to the principal's office for that!

Jared: I know.

(And then they sued the school and lived happily ever after [living happily ever after is a LIE])