You are the hole in my head

"Who the hell is Bucky?" The Winter Soldier- Bucky. Was it? Could HYDRA get any more twisted than it already was? Was that even possible?

You are the space in my bed

Apparently HYDRA had a few more tricks up their sleeve.

"The thing is, you don't have to." Bucky twisted the corner of his mouth upward. "I'm with you to the end of the line, pal."

Steve rubbed his face and unlocked the door. "Are you sure? I don't want to be a burden."

"Don't be stupid, Steve. My new apartment can fit all of your artist junk," Bucky grinned. "'Sides, your ma woulda' hated you livin' on your own. I'm just doin' her one last favor."

Steve sniffled and charged Bucky, wrapping his thin arms around Bucky. "Thanks, Buck."

"I know, pal. I know it hurts." Bucky placed his chin on the top of Steve's head. "Cry all you want."

The memory nobody knew.

You are the silence between what I thought and what I said

______________________________________________

The Winter Soldier screamed at night. He was the stories mothers told children to make them behave, and he had night terrors of a small boy named Steve.

You are the night-time fear

______________________________________________

"And a semi-stable hundred year-old man," Bucky grinned, on the edge of a laugh. Steve huffed and pulled him in for a hug. "How you doin', Buck?"

"Not bad," Bucky tossed a stray hair from his face, "for the end of the world."

You are the morning when it's clear

______________________________________________

When it's over you'll start

"Steve?"

He should have known. Nothing lasted this long in his experience. Steve crumpled as his world turned to dust, swirling around his shaking body.

You're my head, you're my heart

"Thanos did exactly what he said he was gonna do." Natasha smiled bitterly. "He wiped out fifty percent of all living creatures."

Steve looked down, tears dripping down his face. "I'm gonna kill him," He ground out. "I swear I am."

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes

I never knew daylight could be so violent

"Listen up," Steve announced. Thor looked up, his robotic eye twitching. Steve stared him down. "We lost, all of us. We lost friends,"

A revelation in the light of day

Steve?

Oh, man...

Something is happening....

Quill.

It was the only way.

"We lost family."

I am Groot.

I'm sorry.

You will never be a god.

This isn't love.

I love you.

"We lost a part of ourselves." Steve swallowed, letting misery wash over him.

You can't chose what stay and what stays away

"This is the fight of our lives."

And I'd do anything

To make you stay

"This is gonna work, Steve." Natasha held his hand.

No light, no light

Tell me what you want me to say

"I know it is." Steve clenched his jaw and looked over at her. "'Cause I don't know what I'm gonna do if it doesn't."

______________________________________________

"She said no!" Steve lunged at the bullies. They scattered, releasing the girl. She hurried away, leaving her purse behind. "Oh, damn..." He grabbed at the purse, but a boy with crooked teeth and bloodshot eyes held it over him. "I don't think so, boyo. Think I'm gonna keep it. D'you want her lipstick? Think it'd look good with your complexion?" He guffawed, and the other boys followed suit.

"Hey!" A boy with a freshly-pressed shirt and slicked back hair stood at the end of the alley, hands on his hips. "Back off, jerks!"

"This your boyfriend?" The boy with crooked teeth sneered down at Steve, and the boy with slick hair flushed angrily. "Gimme the purse, and I'll leave you alone."

"I don't think so." The bully tossed the bag behing him, and his cronies scrambled to catch it. The boy rolled up his sleeves, wrinkling the crisp fabric. "Alright, then. Guess I'll do this the hard way."

They both ended up in a dumpster.

"Don't step in for me," Steve grumbled and flicked a piece of gum off of his shoulder. "I had 'em on the ropes."

"Sure you did," The boy grinned. "M'names Bucky. What's your name?"

"Steve." Steve puffed up his chest. "Whadda you want?"

"Relax, buddy." Bucky checked the dumpster for anything he might have dropped. "I don't have any friends, and I was wondering if I could be yours."

"Alright... Bucky."

Through the crowd I was crying out and

_______________________________________

As the smoke dissolved, Steve felt his hopes disappear as Rumlow and the STRIKE team loaded him into a reinforced van.

"It was him." Steve rocked a bit as the van hit a mump. "He looked right at me like he didn't even know me."

"How'd you know it was me?" Steve picked the gravel from his scraped hands.

"I know you, pal." Bucky huffed out a laugh and ran his hand through his hair. "I'd recognize your martyr face anywhere, especially in the middle of a fight."

Yet here they were.

In your place there were a thousand other faces

____________________________________

Tony.

I'm glad you're back at the compound. I don't like the idea of you rattling around a mansion by yourself.

We all need family. The Avengers are yours. Maybe more so than mine. I've been on my own since I was 18.

I never really fit in anywhere, even in the Army. My faith's in people, I guess. Individuals. And I'm happy to say that, for the most part... they haven't let me down. Which is why I can't let them down either.

Locks can be replaced, but maybe they shouldn't. I know I hurt you, Tony. I guess I thought by not telling you about your parents I was sparing you... but I can see now that I was really sparing myself. And I'm sorry. Hopefully one day you can understand.

I wish we agreed on the Accords. I really do. I know you're doing what you believe in, and that's all any of us can do. That's all any of us should. So no matter what, I promise you, if you need us, if you need me, I'll be there.

Steve dropped the pen and folded the letter carefully before sliding it into the envelope. "I'm a dramatic bitch," He announced.

"Glad you're finally getting around to admitting it, asshole." Bucky smirked and leaned against the wall. "I was wonderin' when you'd figure it out."

"I don't remember asking you," Steve retorted, grinning easily. "I didn't even hear you come in."

"One of the pros to being an assassin, I guess." Bucky's smile became a little faker. "Not really a great package deal, though."

"You didn't have a choice." Steve gave Bucky the Empathetic Face. Bucky ignored it. "I could've died," He said it like it was an actual option. "I should've, actually."

"No." Steve stood and wrapped his arms around Bucky's waist. "If there's a reason you're still alive after everyone else has died, you should be willing to wait for it."

"Okay," Bucky mumbled. After a moment, "We did this when your ma died."

"Huh?" Steve pulled his face away. Bucky cocked his head. "...I think we did. Hugging."

"Yeah. I needed someone, and you were there to help me. You were the only one I had left, and I think that's when I... I..." He trailed off, sealing his lips. Bucky looked up at him. "When you what?"

"Nothing, Buck. It's nothing."

"Don't keep secrets from me, Steve. Don't do that to me." Bucky pressed his nose to Steve's collarbone, and a jolt of electricity shot up Steve's neck. "Please."

I was disappearing in plain sight

Heaven help me I need to make it right

"Okay," Steve said softly. "Just don't hate me."

"I could never hate you, Steve." Bucky's eyes fluttered closed, and Steve's nose went numb. He moved closer, his lips brushing over Bucky's cheek.

____________________________________

"Steve!" Bucky ran into their tiny apartment, waving his first over his head. "Lookit what I got!"

"Mm." Steve furrowed his brow and stared intently at page forty, sentence three of The Wizard of Oz, even though he could have recited the entire story without looking. "That's nice, Buck."

"You aren't even looking, Steve." Bucky pouted and flopped down on the coffee table. "What's wrong?"

"You tell me, Buck." Steve kicked him with his bony foot. "And get off the coffee table."

"Never bothered you before," Bucky grumbled, but stood anyway. "What's got you in a sour mood?"

"Try to guess." Steve cursed as the page tore. "Dammit."

"Is it about the dance hall? 'Cause I don't really remember..."

"Exactly," Steve snapped, throwing his book on the floor and storming off.

Bucky sat on the floor, tears threatening to spill over his eyelashes.

You want a revelation

You want to get it right

Steve woke up the next morning with a mug of tea on his bedside table and a new copy of The Wizard of Oz. A note marked page forty.

Steve,

I'm sorry. I don't know what I did, but I'm still sorry. I got you a new book. And some tea. I'll be on the couch, I didn't think you'd want to see me for a while.

--Your Bestest Friend In The Whole City

Steve snickered and took a sip of the tea. It was disgusting, but Bucky thought it was his favorite, so he drank it anyway. He looked up to see a bright blue eye peeking around the door. He smiled slightly. "My bestest friend, huh?"

_____________________________

"I'm sorry, I just..." Steve rubbed his face. "Can I sleep by myself tonight? I need a night to myself."

"Okay." Bucky smiled and kissed Steve's cheek. "Tell me if you need anything."

"Okay." Steve slipped the cover over his shoulders and drifted off to sleep.

"Grab my hand!"

"Bucky?"

"It wasn't him!"

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

"You're my friend."

"You're my mission."

"Steve!"

Steve threw the covers off and flailed for something to grab. "Bucky!"

"I'm right here, Steve." Bucky pressed his real hand against Steve's face. "I'm right here."

"Okay." Steve sighed in relief. "Okay."

"D'you want to tell me about it?"

"I..." Steve's eyes wandered to the window. "Tomorrow?"

But that's a conversation

I just can't have tonight

"Okay." Bucky kissed Steve's forehead. "Should I sleep with you tonight?"

"Yes please." Steve nodded feebly as Bucky tucked himself under Steve's chin. "Thanks."

"No problem, kiddo." Bucky smiled against Steve's collarbone.

_____________________________________

"You sure about this?" Steve pressed, giving Bucky The Eyebrows Of Concern.

Bucky huffed and smiled. "I can't trust my own mind. So until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, I think going back under is the best thing for everybody."

You want a revelation

You want a resolution

You want a revelation

Steve watched Bucky close his eyes as fog and frost spread over the glass.

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes

I never knew daylight could be so violent

A revelation in the light of day

You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to, to make you stay

No light, no light

(No light)

Tell me what you want me to say

_____________________________________________________

"No, please! My son-"

The Winter Soldier shot the woman.

Then he shot her son.

He remembered a little boy's last words before he remembered his own.

But would you leave me

If I told you what I've done

And would you leave me

If I told you what I've become

___________________________________________

"I understand what I did as the Winter Soldier. I understand I can't change it or take it back. I wish I could." Bucky shyly looked up at the interviewers. "But I will do anything to compensate for the lives lost by my hands."

'Cause it's so easy

To say it to a crowd

"Bucky?" Steve softly touched Bucky's face with his index finger, tracing Bucky's cheekbones. "Can you tell me?"

"No. You would... You would hate me." Bucky closed his eyes as Steve brushed his cheek with his eyelashes. Steve kisses his chin. "I could never hate you," he murmured, "But I won't force you." He tapped Bucky's metal knuckles. "Do you know why?"

"Why?" Bucky smiled into Steve's cheek.

"Because I love you." Steve pressed a kiss to Bucky's lips. "I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. And I will never hurt you."

But it's so hard, my love

To say it to you out loud

_______________________________________

"What the hell is this?"

"Oh, god." Steve took a deep breath. Then he ran.

Somewhere along the way, he started screaming.

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes

I never knew daylight could be so violent

A revelation in the light of day

You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light

Tell me what you want me to say

You want a revelation

You want to get it right

But, it's a conversation

I just can't have tonight

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I have an entire playlist devoted to Stucky and this song just happened to play when I was in the writing mood :)