Bucky figured he might be gay when he signed up for the role of an English professor keeping his sexuality a secret in a school set in the forties.

He figured he was extra gay when he saw the actor of his love interest, a quiet blond he hadn't gotten the name of.

No, he reached supreme gay when, outside of work, he invited him to a "work outing".

He just hoped it wouldn't become an outing. He could play it cool -- he was an actor, after all.

////

"So, Steve -- " Steve smiles and nods, and Bucky's relieved he remembered it correctly. "How long have you been acting?"

"Maybe... six years?" Steve shrugs and blows on his coffee. "Since college, I think. You?"

Bucky looks around the shop, having difficulty trying not to stare and look like a creep. Just face him, idiot!

What, no! He'll think I'm a stalker!

It's basic human decency, for God's sake, just --

"Uh," Bucky says intelligently, sidetracked by his thoughts. "Oh, um, seven years." Steve looks impressed as he nods.

"Impressive, you must have quite the package to offer."

Bucky swallows his coffee way too quickly and burns his tongue and mouth. Eyes watering, he plays it cool and covers his mouth casually. Steve raises an eyebrow, trying not to look amused. "Your portfolio? Resume?"

"Oh! Of course, yeah," Bucky agrees, taking a breath. "Yeah, I've got a couple things below-- in my belt," he says. Steve sips his coffee and nods wordlessly.

Idiot. He's probably laughing at you right now. He never wants to see you again.

Just tell him!

What? No! I just started this job --

Just say: Gay. Me. I'm gay. Do it.

"You okay? You look a little warm," Steve comments and gestures to his face. Bucky takes a deep, shuddering breath, and nods, collecting himself.

"Just a little jumpy today."

"Maybe caffeine isn't what you need," Steve says with a shrug. "Worried about the movie?"

Relief at the opportunity of an escape washes over him. "Yes, that's it."

Steve smiles and shifts in his seat, drinking more coffee. "You're James, right? You'll be great in the role."

"Oh, I don't know," he laughs and scratches the back of his neck. "It'll be fun to try, I think."

"I'm looking forward to it." Steve hears his phone buzz and glances at it, then frowns. "Hey, sorry to cut this short but..."

"No, no, don't worry about it," Bucky dismisses and sips at his forgotten drink. Steve smiles apologetically and stands up, leaving some money on the table to pay for his coffee.

"I'll see you Monday?"

"Early in the morning," he adds and nods. Steve nods back. "Okay, I'll see you then. 'Bye, love you."

Did you just...

NO NO NO Nononono.

AAAAAHHHH

Steve has the grace to laugh away the awkwardness as he rolls his eyes playfully. "See you, Buck."

Bucky stares blankly, at a loss for words, and as soon as Steve is out of sight, his head falls onto the table and he closes his eyes and quietly curses.

Nice going, Buck. A winner is you.

He sighs and downs his coffee in one go and instantly regrets it.

////

It's on set when he next sees Steve. Over the weekend he had plenty of time to go over what had happened down to every single miniscule detail, so he was absolutely prepared for Monday morning.

He was, as it turns out, not prepared for Monday morning. He walks up to Steve, his exhaustion allowing him to do so with very little internally screaming.

"Sorry," he speaks and goes to say more, but shrugs. "Sorry that was such a... disaster on Friday."

Steve smiles a little. "Was that... method acting?"

Bucky blinks. "Sorry?"

"On Friday. Look -- " He leads them to the character pages spread out on the tables. "James: awkward; unsure; smart mind; social anxiety... " He looks at him and raises his eyebrows.

Bucky sees his chance. It feels as if Heaven has opened up to smile on him. "Yes! I was hoping you'd catch on to that!" He smiles and shrugs as if it's no big deal. "Of course, man, that was method acting!"

"Man"?

"It was good," Steve admits, smiling, and Bucky's heart flutters at the sight. He was in deep.

"Dude, I do that sometimes to test it out, see if it works," he dismisses.

"Dude"?

"Huh, that's kind of smart." Steve looks at him warmly and Bucky smiles back.

Wait...

"Hey, after we're done the cast is going out for drinks. You in? I could give you a lift if you wanted."

"Awesome, bro, I'll be there."

"Great." Steve claps him on the shoulder and smiles once more before walking off to get ready. Bucky holds incredibly still, screaming internally very much.

Dude... man... bro..?

I'm turning into a bro.

Oh, no.

And then just as quickly the Heavens start to spit fire and acid and everything bad and then Bucky realises with a sinking feeling that this is where it begins. The spiral of lies.

Welp.

////

Bucky was a gay man masquerading as a bro supposedly 'method acting' his social awkwardness and personal shortcomings to play an English professor keeping his gayness a secret from a blond soldier.

What was that saying, fantasy mirrors reality? Bucky thought it was something along those lines but couldn't be bothered to remember now.

He'd watched football. A decent game, really, American classic, but it was just... boring. Dull. Just a couple of dudes handling balls.

He couldn't think straight, literally and figuratively.

////

"You'll be headed to London, then?" James turns from the board, tilting his head. A blond soldier stands there -- James was pretty sure he'd heard the name Johnny pop up in reference to him; he preferred John. It was a little more mature for a twenty-three year old.

"First thing tomorrow."

He walks to the door and James purses his lips, looks down, and wipes off the chalkboard with wide, sweeping gestures. "James." He turns. John walks over and looks around, and takes a breath, stepping closer.

"And that's a wrap for lunch, people, be back here by two thirty to do scene seventeen, JJ's kiss," the director says as she pulls her curly hair behind her shoulder and reads through the script.

Bucky walks over to Steve, grabbing a drink from his water bottle. "So, you ready?"

"Yeah." He smiles, raises an eyebrow. "You?"

Bucky smiles charmingly and steps forward, tilting his head.

"I'm always ready to kiss a soldier, it's every Tuesday for me," he says with a nervous laugh and Steve gives him an amused smile.

"So -- " Steve shuffles papers on the table, picking them up and putting them down again. "Are you seeing anyone?"

Bucky freezes in place.

Uh...

Wait. Steve? Gay?

Please.

"You know, would they be okay if -- Well, with the..." Steve gestures vaguely. "You know."

Oh.

Bucky works a smile onto his face. "Oh, yeah. No," he replies, crossing his arms. "No, I'm single. You?"

"Same here," Steve speaks. Bucky tries to keep a smile off of his face. "Hey, wanna grab lunch?"

"You goin' with the other boys?" He hated referring to them like that -- Steve's friends. Steve smiles a little at that and shakes his head.

"You and me, pal," he hums. "Better get kinda comfortable around each other, right?"

YES.

"Yeah," he agrees and waves his hand as if it isn't a huge deal and he wasn't screaming on the inside. "Yeah, sure, let's do it."

Steve smiles. "Okay."

////

It was conflicting being with Steve, just the two of them. Bucky could put on any sort of face for an audience, but with the one guy he actually liked? Well, that was a different matter. No matter how many masks he tried on, none seemed to fit around Steve.

He couldn't show him his true self. That had sort of backfired beforehand, but if it was method acting...

"What's up? You're uncharacteristically quiet," Steve says as he takes a drink. Bucky smirks a little at that, amused.

You think? He shrugs and looks up at him.

"I'm chill."

Steve gives him a look as he folds his arms, and Bucky doesn't look away. That's when he knows that Steve must know.

"You said you loved me," Steve suddenly recalls, lifting an eyebrow. Bucky stares at him and shrugs.

"Uh... did I? I say that to everyone," he dismisses. You're doomed. It's over. Great job.

"Mm." Steve makes a hum of acknowledgment. Bucky doesn't trust that look in his eyes. "Look..."

Here we go.

"That first day we hung out..."

Uh-oh. He braces himself for the worst, and only sees Steve smile at him.

"You weren't acting."

"No," he says slowly, feeling his face slowly flushing hot. Steve's smile grows and he tilts his head.

"Kinda figured. So all of this, because you were afraid you were awkward?"

Bucky stares at him. "Yeah."

Steve laughs and Bucky feels even warmer, struggling in his seat.

"I much prefer awkward Bucky to 'bro' Bucky," he says with finger quotes around the word bro. Bucky winces, embarrassed. Finally he manages a rueful smile as he rubs the back of his neck.

"I hated pretending, but -- sorry, I should've told you weeks ago."

Steve smiles and shrugs, then checks his watch. "Ready to go back?"

He smiles a little. "Okay."

////

The movie has a nice ending to it -- the soldier and the professor confessing outside the school before sharing a heated kiss. Bucky feels his heart lift when he kisses him, and feels Steve's arms around his waist tighten just enough.

"And... cut!" The director walks over with a grin on her face. "Good job, folks. I could feel the chemistry."

Bucky looks at Steve briefly and nods, smiling. "Acting," he says and the director smirks.

"That's what I pay you for. Okay, everyone, be back here by eight in the morning to reshoot!"

Steve looks at Bucky and raises an eyebrow.

Where do we go from here?

Bucky smiles shyly and walks up to him. "Wanna grab a drink or something? Promise I'll never call you man or dude."

Steve nods, cheeks warm. "I'd love to."

Bucky loved acting. It was his passion, and he was apparently quite good at it. But it was a first around Steve -- he acted as himself, and it was a wonderful feeling.

////

This was just super fun to write.