"Okay, no." Bucky whirls on Steve. "It matters when you charge into battle without thinking, Steve. We found you basically dead this time," he growls, whacking Steve's shoulder. "What if next time we don't find you at all? You're not getting yourself killed on my watch."

"It wasn't a big deal. I've done countless missions like that before," Steve snaps. Bucky throws his hands up and paces.

"Why won't it get through your thick skull? You almost died," Bucky hisses. "Am I the only one who sees the big problem here? And look at you. Half your body is broken already. How much longer are you going to keep this up?" His voice shakes with anger.

Steve crosses his good arm over his other, which was in a cast. "I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing if it keeps people safe. Civilians, you, the Avengers. I can't just stand by and do nothing," he growls, standing his ground. Bucky shakes his head.

"I don't wanna hear it. You get yourself killed, and there won't be the Avengers," he snaps. "If you could just try to -- "

"What, sit by and let you take the hit?"

"I am not weak," Bucky spits, stepping up close. "No matter what you may think, I'm not some kid who needs protecting all of the time."

"That's what I'm saying, Buck," Steve says impatiently. "I'm not some kid either."

"But either way, you're an important member to this group whether you like it or not," Bucky growls, jabbing him in the chest with his finger. "So don't get yourself killed."

"I'm not having the same conversation again," Steve mutters as he steps back. "Don't you get it? I don't care what happens to me anymore. I don't care. My only job is to protect people."

"And why can't that include yourself?" Bucky snaps, his voice raising. "Nobody is that - that humble, Steve, nobody's that noble."

"It's not about being 'humble' or 'noble', I keep saying that it's just about getting the job done!"

"That doesn't matter if you get yourself killed!"

"And why do you care so much, huh? What can that possibly matter to you?" Steve yells and Bucky straightens up to his full height.

"Because I love you, you f****** idiot!" His chest heaves and he shoves Steve's shoulder. "Yeah. You can't die because I love you, even though you're an *ss," he hisses and sits on the bed, glaring down at the floor.

Steve watches him carefully, stunned into silence.

"Each and every mission, I have to watch while you almost get yourself killed, and you don't get it," he growls and runs his hands through his hair. "Your heart stopped for a couple minutes. When we finally got you out of there? You were pronounced dead. Bruce had to restart your god**** heart."

Steve swallows and hesitantly sits beside him, leaving a gap between them.

"I can't -- I can't go through that again." Bucky's voice wavers so he swallows and shoots him another glare.

Steve clenches his jaw and bounces his leg. "I didn't know," he mutters quietly. Bucky scoffs and tucks his knees up to his chest.

"Yeah, well." He stares ahead. "Everybody worries about you when you throw yourself into harm's way. Natasha was crying over you."

Steve feels guilt settle in his stomach and he shifts uncomfortably. "I'm sorry I put you all through that," he speaks. Bucky says nothing and they lapse into an uncomfortable silence.

"You said you didn't care if you lived or died. That true?" he speaks up hoarsely. Steve's silence is answer enough and Bucky drops his head into his hands, groaning.

"Steve, you coulda' talked to me about this. Coulda' talked to anyone," he mutters, finally looking up at him. Steve was staring down at his hands.

"I was scared," he admits, his voice shaking a little. Bucky doesn't say anything, doesn't move, but Steve notices his shoulders starting to tremble. "No, Buck, come on..." He slides off the bed and kneels in front of him, looking up at his face.

Bucky covers his mouth with both hands to try to keep himself quiet, and he squeezes his eyes shut tightly to prevent tears from slipping down his face.

"Buck, please," Steve says softly. "I'm sorry."

"It scares me so d*** much, Steve. Every time," he chokes and Steve's heart sinks lower. He felt awful watching how his actions affected other people.

"Hey -- I'm not going anywhere." Bucky looks up at him. Steve manages a half smile. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you cared this much."

Bucky sits up straighter and sobs, covering his mouth again. "Of course I care, you idiot," he wavers. "You're all I have left, and I do love you."

Steve nods. "I love you too, Buck."

"I know." He sniffles and wipes his eyes. He joins Steve on the floor and the blonde wraps his arms around him.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly, and Bucky nods against his shoulder.

"Me too."

After a couple minutes, someone hesitantly knocks on the door. Natasha waits a second before stepping in and kneeling next to them.

"Everyone okay?" she asks softly, laying a hand on Steve's back. He nods a little and Nat smiles. "I heard shouting so I was worried."

"Thanks, 'Tasha," Steve wavers. Bucky pokes his head up and motions her over. Nat gives them a hug and kisses them each on the cheek.

"We're just doing dinner now."

"Okay." Bucky nods, but makes no move to get up. Natasha walks out and gently closes the door. Bucky looks at the blonde. "Should we...?"

"No," Steve shakes his head, looking at him and taking a breath. "I mean, I'm not hungry, so..."

Bucky nods in understanding. They were both too drained to move. Steve rests his forehead on Bucky's shoulder and closes his eyes.

"You'll be more careful?" Bucky mutters and Steve nods.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Bucky sighs and rubs his back.

And Steve really did try, at least for Bucky's sake.