As a celebration for hitting 700k, here's a domestic look at Hydra husbands! :) Be aware of general angst and Hydra stuff.

////

"There's nothin' there, Stevie," Bucky murmurs as they sit up awake at 2:00 am, Steve shaking and Bucky trying not to feel helpless.

"I saw -- they were here," Steve breathes, voice trembling, and Bucky only squeezes his hands, heart aching with the want to do more but knowing that all Steve needs is reassurance.

"Nobody's here, you're safe," Bucky assures, his voice that same hushed promise, and Steve finds it difficult to accept. Bucky eyes the way Steve looks ready to bolt, hands trembling but trying to hide it by clutching Bucky's own.

"It'd-- it'd be silly to check the front door, right?"

"If it makes you feel better-- "

Steve nods jerkily and is quick to do a perimeter of their apartment. Bucky just... watches him, heart sinking low in his stomach. He felt awful.

There was nothing to be done about it. Wounds needed time to heal, and Steve's stay with HYDRA had been long, too long; the ramifications seemed astronomical and overwhelming, and Steve didn't know how to cope with it.

Bucky glances at his phone. Almost 2:30; he mentally curses and watches Steve pace the apartment, briefly checking window bolts and the deadlock of the door. Once he's finally assured they're going to be okay, he joins Bucky in bed once more and tries to settle in, his racing heart slowing as Bucky wraps his arms around him and kisses his shoulder.

"You okay?"

Steve closes his eyes and nods. "Sorry, Buck," he murmurs, and Bucky shakes his head against his shoulder.

"I've been there too," he says softly. "You got nothin' to apologise for."

They lay together in silence, each thinking the other has fallen asleep, each lost in their own thoughts. After maybe an hour or two Steve gently pulls himself free and starts getting dressed for a run; Bucky lets him.

Everybody needed an outlet of some kind, and Steve's happened to be running. Bucky saw him jot down a hastily scribbled note on one of their post-its: how they primarily communicated. Bucky waits for him to leave before starting his own day. He sets to work brewing some coffee and stares idly at the sunrise.

His phone buzzes to life -- Fury messaging him about a potential week-long mission, Steve too. That was either the last thing they needed, or the best thing to take their minds off the fact that they'd both been used as HYDRA's brainwashed lackeys for the past however years.

Bucky leaves him on read and slides his phone across the table. Maybe... maybe he'd extend the offer to Steve and see what he thought. He seemed pretty rattled by whatever nightmare he had; it might be a good distraction.

Or this mission could be another waking nightmare that neither of them woke up from.

Bucky pulls on a jacket and shoes, pouring coffee into a thermos or two for the both of them. He knew Steve's usual running route; he'd swing by and hand him a coffee, see how he's doing.

////

Steve slows to a stop, panting, drops his hands onto his hips and takes a brief look at his surroundings. It was just beginning to brighten, the sun peeking out from the old buildings, something that promised to be a beautiful morning.

"I can't believe you left the house without coffee," Bucky speaks as he walks down the path towards him. Steve, flushed red, grins as he meets him halfway. "Last night really got you you, huh?"

"Guess so." He accepts the thermos gratefully. "Came out here just to give me coffee?"

"How dare I want to spend time with my boyfriend," Bucky drawls, but smiles and tilts his head. "You okay?"

Steve looks down briefly, pondering the question, before sipping some coffee and nodding. "I'm fine, Buck." He tries to come across as teasing, but his voice is quieter than he'd wanted. Bucky's smile softens and he studies him, like all he wants to do is make everything better, knowing he can't.

They start walking home, taking the long way through the city; Bucky had always loved studying the architecture, and Steve knew this so suggested they take the long walk.

"So Fury reached out to me," Bucky mentions as they cross the street. "Says he's got a mission. It's in Washington, something about, um-- " He hesitates over his words, and Steve doesn't have to guess at what he's trying to say. "HYDRA," he says, the name bitter in his mouth.

Steve says nothing for a while. Bucky could almost see the gears turning in his head. Finally Steve looks at him.

"What'd you tell him?"

"Figured I'd ask what you thought first."

Steve sighs and takes another sip of the cooling coffee. "How long, a week?" When Bucky nods his agreement, Steve furrows his eyebrows. "Stealth, recon..?"

"He didn't say," Bucky sighs and focuses ahead. "Probably burning it to the ground."

Steve nods distantly. "So what do you think?"

Bucky measures his words as they round the corner. Home was just ahead. "I worry how therapeutic that would be," he says slowly. "For both of us, I mean, it wasn't so long ago that... "

Steve looks down. No, he remembered exactly how long ago it truly was. This Saturday it will have been three months since he had been successfully rescued; three months since Bucky had brought him home, confused and scared, so unlike himself.

He takes a trembling breath and clenches his jaw. "Maybe burning them to the ground would be therapeutic," he says, trying to sound more casual than he feels. "Getting rid of them would certainly feel nice."

Bucky looks at him carefully as Steve unlocks the door to the building. "Okay," he finally says. "Wherever you go, I'm following."

"Buck -- "

"No way in hell are you doing this alone," Bucky interrupts, louder than he wanted. He shakes his head. "I want to be... done with all of this, Steve. I'm coming with you."

Steve doesn't bother arguing about Bucky's safety. That man was stubborn, almost as stubborn as Steve himself, so there was no point trying to talk him out of it.

"Okay," he finally agrees as they enter their home. "So we take them down together."

Bucky smiles slightly as he hangs up his coat. "Cute date idea, anyway. Raise hell."

Steve smiles back at him. "Exactly."

////

The HYDRA base seems abandoned. Steve turns slowly, ready to jump into action. Bucky was in the hallway behind him, guarding the only exit and entrance while Steve scopes the room.

It's quiet except for the humming of a machine. Rounding the corner, Steve comes face to face with the machine.

He stops dead in his tracks. It wasn't on,  there was no evidence showing it had been used in a while, yet Steve felt panic at the base of his spine.

He squares his shoulders and keeps going.

"Got one of those machines here," he speaks, pressing a finger to his comms.

"Alright." Bucky hears the struggle in his voice to remain calm. "Anything else?"

"Not yet," he muses, stepping closer to investigate. The closer he gets the more overwhelming his memories get, flashing quickly through his mind. He blows out a breath and tries to remain focused, but the buzzing of the idle machine mixes with the sounds in his head and suddenly he's back in that spot, suddenly he's sitting in that chair and he's screaming.

"Steve?" Bucky abandons his post, gun at the ready as he makes his way down the hallway. It's been uncomfortably quiet; it feels as if something's going to pop out any second. Steve hasn't been answering him, hasn't spoken a word -- and Bucky was terrified.

Steve remains motionless, locked into place, eyes glassy. Bucky hurries up to him and grabs his shoulders, abandoning the gun to the floor. "Steve," he says urgently, searching his eyes for any reaction. "Steve, come on, look at me, hon."

Nothing -- Steve looks trapped in a trance, eyes wide with an unseen terror. Bucky hated that look.

"Steve, come on," he pleads. They were too exposed, he knew this had been a bad idea and now Steve was going to be even more broken than before --

"I'm okay," Steve mutters, blinking, breathing too hard. He swore he was on the verge of a panic attack, wanted nothing more than to simply sink to the ground and stop existing. "I'm okay, Buck," he exhales and steps away, readjusting the grip on his shield.

Bucky follows him closely to the next room, heart beating a little too quickly for comfort.

"Once we clear this place out we're gonna take a break from all this," Bucky breathes, eyeing him carefully. Steve doesn't bother objecting, focusing purely on not spiralling.

After searching the place top to bottom, finding no one and nothing but a handful of useful documents, they set to work destroying it; instead of cutting off one head, burning it, destroying any remnants of HYDRA.

Thankfully it was far enough removed that a little fire wasn't going to affect the people.

The pair stand on the hill and watch it burn; Steve doesn't move until it's a smoldering mass.

"Okay. Let's go."

////

Back in their cheap hotel room they'd stayed in, smelling of ash, the pair take their respective spots at the table and on the bed; Steve focuses on filling out important forms Fury'd sent to be signed post-mission. Bucky watches his hand shake while he writes, the way he rubs the back of his neck with his free hand.

"You wanna talk about what happened?" Bucky shifts his gaze to the window, seeing nothing but the blaze of fire flickering behind his eyelids.

"Not necessarily," Steve says as he flips the page.

"Thought I lost you in there."

Steve pauses in his hurried writing and swallows. He still saw himself in that chair, knew the moment he first started forgetting things and tried to force himself to remember, knew the moment Bucky saved him and he didn't recognise him for long after.

"I'm fine, Bucky," he reminds, a mantra he's trying to convince himself of. Bucky gives him a dry look that Steve ignores intently, turning back to his work. "Just got a little rattled is all."

Bucky didn't bother pointing out the fact that Steve looked like he'd been about to pass out. He lays back on the bed and sighs deeply, closing his eyes.

That night Bucky sits up, gripping his metal arm, attempting to quietly gasp for air, ignoring that his metal hand is gripping his other arm tight enough to bruise. He sees Steve sleeping fitfully beside him.

A helpless noise escapes him and he allows himself a moment to feel that pain of what they're going through. Releasing his grip, he hangs his head and tries to breathe evenly, struggling to swallow. He looks at Steve instead and his heart aches more.

He curls up behind him and wraps his arms around him; noticing that Steve is clutching the blanket with white knuckles he gently pries his hand free and holds it.

This was familiar -- the feeling of protecting the man he loves despite all odds against them. The feeling of Steve curled up with him, cuddling for warmth and comfort.

When Bucky hears Steve mutter a quiet "Bucky?" as if he's afraid he's not with him anymore, Bucky responds in a soft voice, "I'm right here, baby. I've got you."

////

Finally home, Bucky curls up on the couch and Steve quickly joins him, burying his face against his chest. Bucky holds him close, cradling the back of his head.

"You okay?" Steve's voice is a rough murmur. Bucky hesitates a second.

"I'm worried about you," he confesses. "I've had time to adjust, you... haven't."

Steve presses closer and swallows the lump in his throat. "Is this what it was like? When you... "

Bucky nods absently, gently brushing through his hair. "Yeah."

Steve hugs him a little tighter. "I'm sorry."

Bucky kisses the top of his head and stares distantly ahead, ignoring the rush of memories when he was in Steve's shoes; still scared of himself, still scared of what had happened. Still unsure. "You got nothin' to apologise for, Stevie."

Steve has no reply for that other than profusely apologising for not understanding sooner, so he keeps his mouth shut. He closes his eyes and focuses instead on the feeling of Bucky holding him, safe. Out of HYDRA's grasp.

////

This was more Steve driven than I thought it would end up being, but there we have it. :)