Josh Kim

Tuesday 22nd February

6:30 am-10pm Toronto

I wake up early and leave my bedroom immediately, checking on Natalie. As I open my bedroom door, I notice a plate of pancakes and oatmeal on the dining table. But when I walk into Natalie's bedroom, she was nowhere to be seen.

I get my phone and call her only to be told that the line wasn't connected. She really didn't want me to contact her at all. I notice a text from Natalie that was sent around 4am.

Hey Josh,

This feels weird texting you this politely. The point of this message is to say thanks for yesterday. You helped me release all that pent up anger and sadness that I had in me; built up over the years.

I'm calling you first.

From

So called Hazelnut

I read the message and stand in silence. She clearly knows what she is doing. Plus, Natalie knows jujutsu, she'll be fine.

I get ready for work as usual and eat the breakfast Natalie made for me. Tempted to text her to see if she would respond.

She'll be fine.

I got work only to be distracted because I'm waiting for Natalie to call me. She never specified what time of the day she'll call me, so I'll wait. I hear a notification from phone only for it be texts from spam numbers.

She'll....be fine.

Maybe if I send her a little message, then she'll respond.... probably.

Natalie how are you going? Your day has been great?

Nope.

Hey hazelnut, where the hell are you?

Nope. Weirdly to mean.

Natalie are you alright. You better be eating!

Nope. Aggressive.

Don't forget to eat.

It's casual and doesn't sound desperate.... send.

Send the message, Josh.

Natalie. Will. Be. Fine. Josh.

Why do I care so much? Am I worried?

She'll be fine.

"Josh, are you alright?" Cory asks me around midday.

I haven't done a decent amount of work today and look like I haven't slept great. Found it hard to focus knowing Natalie is somewhere out there in Toronto, alone.

"Uh...yeah. Just worried...I think." I respond nodding awkwardly and getting myself a cup of coffee.

Calm done Josh. She'll be fine.

Hours passed before the clock struck 5pm, signalling the end of the workday. I stand up and pack up, knowing full well I produce less work today than every other day. As I leave the office, Cory follows me to the car park.

"Josh are you alright?" he asks me, following me like a reporter.

"It's fine Cory. Just had something else on my mind today. I wasn't the model employee today I know," I remark unlocking my car and placing my work bag on the passenger seat.

"Josh, I worried about you as much as you a worried about someone else. You can't be keeping this to yourself. Is it about Natalie?" he reassures me blocking my way from entering my own car.

I don't respond and just nod my head, looking at his face of satisfaction.

"How did you know?" I ask.

"Bro, that girl changes your emotion way more than I do. Whatever she does, it always reflects the way you feel. I'm gonna mind my own business, but I think Natalie matters to you way more than you think." Cory states walking off and leaving me with my thoughts.

I hop into my car thinking about what Cory had mentioned. Does Natalie really matter that much to me? It's only been a few days since I've seen her, but I'm going crazy worried about her. Maybe I need to test my feelings before I draw any conclusions. Driving off in my car, I arrive back at the apartment block and walk into my bedroom. Still thinking about what Cory had said.

I take my mystery book from my shelf and read for a while after making myself a cup of tea. I check my phone and see that she hasn't seen my message. Sighing as I go back to reading my book. Time passes and it's eventually 8:30pm. I stop reading and get ready for the blind date.

Once again leaving my apartment, I drive off to an Italian diner near downtown Toronto. Hopping out of my car, I walk into the diner with sound of chatter filling my ears. Examining the faces in the room, I spot Cory amongst the crowd. He was sitting with Mabel and another girl that I couldn't see.

Walking up to Cory, I sit next to him as he calls me liar as the mystery girl wasn't here.

"Sorry. Forgot to tell you." I tell him only for him to glare at me. It's only then I realise that the second girl is Emily of all people.

A double date with my ex. Well played Kelly. This would have been more awkward if Natalie was here.

"Hi Josh." Emily greets me as I greet her back awkwardly.

The blind date is already not off to a great start. Especially with the chemistry radiating between Mabel and Cory. Last time I checked, I'm pretty sure I was paired with Mabel but whatever.

"As you know already ladies, my name is Cory and I love to go mountain climbing. I'm one skilled mountain climber if you ask me." He bragged boastfully.

"Really? I think you and I should a mountain climb one day. I bet I could beat you easily!" Mabel remarks, smiling brightly at Cory as he does the same.

Fireworks were shooting between these two as Emily and I sit in awkward silence. I wouldn't be surprised if Cory were to start dating Mabel. As the date continues, I hear a ring from my phone and snatch it within a second and answer it.

"Hello?!" I shout, surprising my friends.

"Hello sir. We are calling to inform you that your Microsoft account has been terminated and you need to pay us a charge of- "

I cut off the scam caller in anger and place my phone on the table. Only now noticing my friends' face of confusion.

"Dude, calm down. Whoever you're waiting for. Probably Natalie, they'll call you. Just be patient." Cory says calming me down.

"Huh? What's up with you and Natalie?" Emily questions me.

"Well.... here's the story. She came to Toronto, got really drunk so I took her to my place. Only for her to kiss me, puke on my cardigan and break my mother's vase. She got sick so I took care of her for her to compensate by cooking for me. Then her ex came along so I pretended to be her boyfriend and that ended with us going to dinner yesterday and she kinda cried her eyes out, so I gave her space. And now I'm waiting for her to call me." I explain as quick as possible.

Silence.

"Holy crap, what the hell is up with Natalie and me?" I asked myself out loud.

"Josh, you're an idiot for not realising your feelings." Cory notes with no hesitation.

Emily and Mabel just look at me in silence before Mabel takes a gulp of her drink and shakes her head in amazement.

"Josh, I honestly don't know what to say to you. I think that you like Natalie and in denial about it." Mabel expresses laughing to herself.

It's only then did Emily burst into laughter, slam her hand on the table as we watch in confusion. She laughs, "Josh...you did the same thing when you liked me in high school, dumbass. You keep denying your feelings."

"I feel like a missed a chapter of Josh's life here." Cory adds before Mabel tells him to pipe down and listen.

"You know, when you first liked me back in high school, you denied your feelings. It literally took me to yell at you for you to realise that you liked me. I think the same thing is happening here. Josh is starting to like Natalie and denying his feelings way more than usual. I guess it's because of the rivalry between you two." Emily explains as I feel more and more called out.

"Can we change the topic? I feel called out." I ask as my friends laugh at my embarrassed face.

"I love how this double-blind date turned into a relationship advice session for Josh." Mabel points out seeing Cory laughing at her joke.

"Where's Natalie?" a sudden voice asks, interrupting our conversation.

I turn to see Isaac with that red nose of his.

"Busy." I snapped, taking a sip of my drink.

"Look. This clearly looks like a blind date. You're not actually dating Natalie, are you? How about you tell me where she is."

"Sometimes the truth is hard to believe when it hits you or in your case, frozen tomatoes to your nose."

Isaac scoffs seeing my face of satisfaction and walks off as I signal for him to leave.

"Was that Natalie's least favourite letter? The 'x'. I hate that letter too." Cory jokes noticing Mabel laughing at his joke and he grins.

'Yeah, that was Hazelnut's ex. A cheater too." I inform my friends, taking another sip of my drink.

"Who's Hazelnut?" Cory interrupted.

"Natalie is Hazelnut. It's a nickname, I gave her." I murmur finishing my drink.

"So, Natalie is calling you right now?"

I look towards my phone and snatch it in the speed of light, answering the phone.

"Where have you been!" I shout attracting the attention of the whole diner.

"Josh, calm the fuck down. You just peaked on my speaker, Jesus." Natalie nags in her usual annoyed tone that I missed.

I repeat my question also asking if she was okay.

"It's weird that you're asking me if I'm okay. I shared my location with you so could you" Natalie starts before I cut her off.

I close my phone and stand up from my seat; Cory asking if that was Natalie for me to nod in excitement.

My friends wish me good luck as I run out of the diner and drive off to the location that Natalie has shared with me. Arriving there moments later, I hop out of my car and scan the park searching for Natalie amongst the small groups of people. It starts raining and I find it hard to spot Natalie. I spot a girl with hazelnut brown hair and run towards her, tapping her on the shoulder. It wasn't Natalie and I apologise, still looking for her.

"Didn't I say to calm down?" A familiar voice tells me.

I turn around to see Natalie wearing a coat with her short hazelnut hair in a bun.

"Are you in a rush to see me?" Natalie asks me.

"...I forgot to bring an umbrella," I tell her taking deep breaths.

Natalie gently smiles, "I brought mine just in case."

She takes out her yellow umbrella and smiles putting it over my head.

"This is the first time you've been so organised..." I mutter as she scoffs.

"I am organised...sometimes." Natalie laughs.

I smile back at her, and she slightly blushes, noticing me take steps forward. I take her umbrella and position it over the two of us.

"You have a small umbrella" I inform Natalie inching my face closer towards her.

"Maybe...that's a good thing..." she whispers, and I stare at her, surprised.

Lowering the umbrella, I kiss Natalie, and she pushes me back. Still staring at me as I look at her.

"Sorry for kissing you without asking. I think...I like you, Natalie," I apologise, before she grabs my cheeks and kisses me back.

She kisses me more passionately, surprising me by her sudden move. I drop the umbrella and wrap my hands around her. Kissing her as if there was no tomorrow, as the taste of gum filled my mouth. Despite us not being sad, it still rained.

For the first time in my life, rain felt amazing.