No. 9.: Internally screaming
~ 2 months later ~
"Pats, I get it why you're not answering my calls and I'm sorry, but... Just... just call me back." I press the red button on my smartphone and hang up the call. Once the line is dead, I sigh loudly in desperation.
This has been going on for months. I've been calling her for god knows how many times per day. All I wanted to do was to apologise. But seriously, she is overreacting with this cold-turkey bullshit. Fine, I learned my lesson. Never ask Patty anything, don't even engage in a conversation with her and don't sleep with women while you're babysitting your nephew. Can we all just make up and kiss already?
This crap Patty's been putting me through dragged influence to my job and work, not to mention my intimate sex life.
Jed, the other CEO returned. He was more than thrilled to see me in the head engineer office and I was pleasantly surprised when I was his first stop after he made the first step in the company after so long. He congratulated me, told me he's been rooting for me almost ever since I started working for Wells & Hether Inc. However, even he's been noticing my lack of ideas and work overall. I was slacking in my office, constantly calling Patty and my e-mails were only opened in case some boss came barging in and was wondering whether I'm working or not.
Plenty of times I got (and still get) a feeling Lenart and Jed have been rethinking their decision about giving me the promotion. Whenever I saw then exchange unnerving glances when I was around, I told myself I'd try better, that once I got home I'll start working on the new prototypes and plans. None of it happened. The moment I got home, I first needed a drink, then a shower and then bed. I noticed I lost a few pounds because I just didn't feel like cooking or calling the Chinese restaurant for a home delivery. I wasn't feeling hungry.
Problems in the family can be worrying and very stressful, so it tends to be only natural you're not in your best shape for a while, but literally, the best and last sex I have had in the past six months was with Eliza and then with Kenzie. Yeah, that was my last sex, not just last good sex, but the very last. It's not that I don't go out now, I do visit clubs to find girls, but they've been turning me down as if the girl Becca who was the first one to accuse me of being old left such a big mark on me all other girls noticed and followed it. Now, everything depended on my being lucky, not just charming and attractive.
Speaking of getting lucky, if I managed to get a girl home and we started making out, it didn't last long. Not that I'm not able to control myself like I was 15 years old, but girls usually stop me and tell me they'd rather go home. I seriously do not understand what's going on in my life, it can't be just the fact that Patty cut me out of Aidan's and Daniel's life, can it?
So, if you have any empathy for me, you must be thinking 'Poor Nathan, he's been through so much. I doubt it could even get worse for him.' Well, news flash, it can and it did.
Because I was promoted and left an empty position behind me, someone else had to take it. Lenart came up with a splendid idea of putting Austin there. Jed agreed, giving some strong arguments why that would be for the best – Austin's been my shadow for a while, he knew how I work, what I do first, what follows, how to make a good representation and just how to be a good engineer after all. Now, if Austin was promoted, that means things changed in my office as well. He got his own assistant and I got a new one. A young, sassy and very undiplomatic female, called Justine, who doesn't realise I am her boss and I can fire her with a blink of an eye.
Justine Karlsen. The woman that's been killing my patience with every single breath she drew.I've always wanted to have a female assistant, which could occasionally assist me in more than just in business and work if you know what I mean. Getting Justine for as assistant was just the universe's sick joke of granting my wish. She refuses to do anything I tell her to do, she talks back all the time and whenever I ask her nicely if she could do something for me, she tells me she doesn't have the time or just doesn't want to do it.
Did I also mention I can't jerk off anymore? Yeah, that's new too.
I've called Patty for the third time in one hour and I am getting more desperate with every second. I check the time and see Daniel's probably at work already, which means I can call him. Patty's wrath reached further than just unanswered phone calls and ignorant behaviour towards me. Even Daniel has to pay the price now. He used to be angry with me too, but after an exhausting conversation we cleared the air and I think he saw how worrying it must've been from my perspective. It wasn't as if I tried to steal Patty from him or anything, I was actually worried about him.
I reach for he phone and dial his number. After a few rings, I start to believe he won't answer me as well, some PTSD that must've been, but soon my phone releases a crackling sound and before I know it, Danny's voice speaks to me. "Nathan, I'm still at home, this better be urgent."
"Wait, what? You're still at home?" I ask and listen carefully what he'll say. Whenever we have this secretive conversation, he keeps it lowkey by whispering.
"Danny, will you take Aidan to the kindergarten?" I hear Patty in the background and then Aidan who's laughing loudly. Hey, kid...
"Yeah, yeah, I will." Danny raises his voice when he replies her, then lowers it when he turns his attention back to our phone call "What's up?"
I rub my eyes tiredly "She's still not answering. When she started to just cancel my calls, I thought she would eventually soften up."
"She's still pretty pissed," he says. "You could've figured it out by now, man. If we're not allowed to talk, I doubt she softened up, don't you think?"
"Okay, good point, but..." I sigh, "I miss you all and Aidan's birthday is coming soon. I already bought him a gift, I think he might like."
Danny is silent on the other side of the line, but speaks up after a short while "Nate, I don't think you'll be invited to his birthday."
That is the first time I actually stutter after years that I've grown out of the disability. "W-w-what?"
I can hear Daniel gulp over the phone and sigh, speaking to me in the kind of panicky way, maybe because Patty could hear him "She doesn't want you anywhere near her or Aidan. Hell, she doesn't even want me to mention you, even though you're my brother." He pauses, waiting form y reaction, which doesn't come. He knows that's his cue to speak some more and fill in the silence "You know that if it was up to me, you'd practically live here, man."
When I speak, my voice is hollow like an old broken tree trunk. The only difference is when you speak in the hollow trunk, you can hear the echo. My voice has no echo, no such power to be actually heard. My voice is just there and if I didn't trust the technology and the good microphones, I doubt the sound of my vocal cords would come to the other end of the line. "Daniel, you can't let her do this."
"It's not just up to me," he whispers into the receiver.
"You can talk to her, you can tell her how much I care about Aidan. Jesus fuck, man, I love your son. And you know Aidan loves me." I protest and the panic in my chest soon shifts onto my voice. "You two are getting married soon. You have some say in it and Aidan is your kid as well. You can stand up and tell her she doesn't rule the whole fucking world, Daniel. Why won't you man up?!" I nearly yell at him, then I grow silent. He doesn't say anything back either, but he doesn't hang up either. "You know that I would never hurt you or Aidan or her. You know it. And I'm a damn good uncle, she knows it too. What, is she gonna invite May? Who's all about making robots out of her kiddos?" I swallow saliva and my voice breaks when I speak again "You can't... You can't let her do this, Danny."
"Nathan, I don't think Patty is doing what she's doing just because of what happened two months ago." I let that sink in. I think I've known it for a while, maybe since the very beginning. I stay quiet, then Daniel says goodbye "I gotta go, gotta take Aidan to kindergarten and then go to work. We'll talk later, okay?"
"Yeah..."
"Nate, I'll try, but... I promise nothing," he says and then hangs up.
I lower my hand down with the receiver in it and gently place it in its place. Of course, I've known it this all couldn't have been because I asked her if Aidan's mine. For Christ's sake, it wasn't a crime. I get it why she's mad about Kenzie, but the truth is, it couldn't be enough to just remove me from everything. Her reasons don't make me feel guilty or sad, but angry. She's still dragging that shit all around the place. I can't imagine how Daniel feels like. He is forbidden to speak to me because she used to date me, how sick in the head is she, really?
I stare at my desk, then reach for the phone again, pressing it against my ear and typing in the first few numbers of Patty's phone number to tell her how could she do such a thing to her beloved Daniel, when the new idiot of an assistant barges in with some papers "Hi. So, that came."
She lays the papers on the table and I stare at them blankly "What is this?"
She shrugs "I don't know, some things to sign. I think it's fort he new prototypes and modules you were supposed to show one of the CEOs last week. They were on my table when I got here."
I roll my eyes in front of her and sigh heavily "Okay, fine, I'll check them out. Bring me some coffee then."
"Uh, no. I won't."
I look up at her and furrow my brows "What do you mean you won't? You're my assistant!"
She smiles widely and lifts her brows in that angsty teen kind of way "Yeah, I am and my job description doesn't say I have to bring you coffee. It says I handle your paperwork and sometimes assist you with things."
"Yes and now I need you to assist me by bringing me a cup of coffee. And how hard can it be just walking to the machine and pressing a few buttons?" I fight back. This is the last thing I need right now, her attitude and just her overall.
"Exactly. It's not that hard. So, get up and get it yourself, while I deal with the CEOs in your name."
"Don't have me for an idiot, Justine," I tell her, eyeing her warily. Oh, she'll learn not to mess with me.
Justine throws her long hair over her shoulder and strokes her skirt until it's not wrinkly anymore. "I don't. If I had you for an idiot, I'd bring you that coffee you want so much."
"Are you aware of your position? 'Cause I don't think you are." I tell her, still sitting in my comfy black chair. She's the one to roll her eyes now and she leans her body weight on the other leg as if: 'Welp, we'll be here for a long time, now.' "You know what?" I tell her when I realise I am only making matters worse. I don't want to see her, so why would I keep her in my office longer than necessary. "Just go and leave me alone."
She scoffs to herself and turns on her heel, leaving the office. When she closes the door, I lie back on the chair and Justine giving me some peace has been the best thing that happened today. Which makes matters kind of sad and just... Well, sad.
I close my eyes and enjoy the silence around me if not exactly within me. I still can't believe Patty would do such a thing. Reasons are obviously selfish, 'cause Aidan pretty much adores me and Danny would never plot against me. The idea of her talking to May just sounds ridiculous. May hated Patty when they first met, she even called her a whore and that was before Patty switched between brothers. If May had to be invited anywhere, I'd just like to be there to see how distant and hateful they'll be against each other. Hell, I'd even pay to see that. I don't like May, but if she can do anything, she can roast and my opinion is Patty needs some extended roasting. Someone has to bring her back to the ground.
I start dozing off without even being aware of it. I've been having trouble falling asleep and just sleep throughout the night. I keep waking up during random hours in the middle of the night and often I find it hard to close my eyes and fall asleep again. Sometimes it takes me hours to go back to sleep, but usually, I don't fall asleep at all.
"Price!" a loud feminine voice screams at me, opens the door of my office like a wild animal, causing walls to tremble and barge in with loud taps against the floor with her heels.
I don't have time to scream or to react, I just fall back from my chair and along with it, crumbling on the floor like a piece of garbage. When I get up in the manner of having seen some shit, I see Justine standing before my desk, holding back a giggle. "Don't you fucking dare," I tell her.
That should scare her, but it doesn't. It doesn't. She starts laughing like my words were just a cherry on the top, pushing her over the edge and she just couldn't resist her laughter. "You should've-" Laughter interrupts her. "You should've-" She starts laughing again. "You should've-!" She cries out again.
That's until I scream at her "Knock it off with the giggles already!"
She draws a long breath in her lungs, which gives her just enough power to tell me what she's been trying to say for three fucking times. "You should've seen yourself!" She laughs again, "You were all chill and sleep and then-" She makes a grimace of the killer from Scream and uses her hands to wail around the place before she proceeds to laugh.
I do not find her show amusing.
I need to wait a good ten minutes for her to calm down and stop laughing. I keep checking my watch, actually find it entertaining to see how long she can do this. Then I remember she's actually mocking me and suddenly the feeling of being entertained is replaced with pure bitterness. That little bitch.
Whenever she stops laughing and the red blush drains away from her cheeks, I am in expectation to find out why the hell did she even come in my office and scare the shit out of me, but whenever she lifts her look and sees my serious and unamused face, she begins to laugh again and even louder and even more horrible than before.
"Can you just..." I sigh "Stop?"
Justine drinks some water and I sincerely hope she'll start to giggle again and choke on the water. Yes, she brought me that far.
"Oof, that was good!" she says and glances at me. I can see it in the corners of her mouth she wants to snort at me again, but to my surprise, she holds back. Finally, she did something right. "But really, you should've seen yourself. That was-" She looks at me with a playful grin "Priceless."
I close my eyes. I'm so done with today's day. I bend my head down and just remain quiet, trying to unsee the thing she did there.
"Oh, come on, it was a great pun!"
"No, no, it wasn't. Why are you here?" I ask her, quickly switching the subject, so she will go away and leave me here to forget what she sounds like when she chuckles.
"Er, yeah, right. Wait, I forgot, I'll be right back." She gets up and trots away in her high heels. Moments later she's back "Okay, got it!" She checks it once again and I want to throw my stapler at her. "Your friend, Austin called."
I lift in my chair and look at her "When did he call?"
She checks the record again "Like an hour and a half ago? I think? Yep, that's what it says."
I swear, one day I will turn in Mr Hyde because of her incompetence. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"'Cause I saw it now. Maybe you'd have talked to him when he called you if you'd stop pestering your brother and his girlfriend." She shrugs and when she catches the squint of my eyes, she smiles "Just a thought."
I keep my eyes on her when I dial Austin's number. He picks up in a matter of moments "Oh, man, I need a favour."
"Hello to you too, my friend," I say at first and smile. I notice Justine still standing there, casually listening to our conversation, when I mouth her to leave me the fuck alone. "What do you need?"
"There's this girl. Man, she's really hot and I want to take her out." Austin says, sounding like a little kid.
"Okay, what do you want me to do? Ask her out in your name?" I chuckle a little and it makes him smile as well.
"Nah, nah, I already did that."
"Congratulations." I mock him.
Austin laughs "Fuck you, dude." We both laugh some more and this conversation with Austin is really refreshing and encouraging. At least someone answers my calls or you know, calls me first. "But seriously, uh, she said she'd like to keep the first date casual and friendly. Just to see how it goes, because that's logical for some apparent reason." I snort at his remark and nearly choke on the amount of sarcasm he puts in one sentence. "But, I like her, so I said that I'm cool with whatever she comes up with. Her idea was for each of us to bring someone with us, so I was thinking-"
"No."
"No? Nate!"
"No."
"But-"
"Austin, I don't do dates. They're not my style. I'd be happy to be your wingman anytime, but this, dating bullcrap, that's below me." It sounds as brutal as it is. I don't do these things and he knows that well.
"It's just one tiny favour." he continues to beg me. That girl got him wrapped around her finger like a little bitch.
I decide to be honest with him. He's my best friend and knows what's been going on. He could barely believe what I told him actually happened and if not anything else, he'd respect the distance I crucially need. "Austin, I'm really not in the mood for going out anyway."
"Shit."
"Yeah." I agree with him, "Shit."
"She's still not answering your calls?" he asks and I don't appreciate how pitiful he sounds.
I tell him she doesn't even pick up the phone at work when I call her, so she's really serious about it.
"You know you can call if you need anything, okay?" he says with a hint of a smile.
"Yeah, I know, thanks," I say gratefully, lingering on the phone some more.
Before Austin and I end the call, Justine appears in my office again. Oh, for fuck's sake. The tone of voice visibly changes once she's in the same room with me and Austin asks me a few times if I'm maybe angry with him more and if he did something wrong. Eventually, we say goodbye and he apologises for multiple for even considering me as potential wingman on a legitimate date.
When I hang up, Justine is glaring at me angrily "You're an idiot."
I blink a few times in disbelief. "Excuse me?" I give her an opportunity to excuse herself and I already prepare an unforgiving speech for unforgiving remarks such as hers.
"What, you deaf? You're an idiot. Idiot! You hear me?" she screams like a child at me and I need to cover my ears to preserve my hearing.
"Okay, I hear you! You made it clear enough. Now, elaborate, 'cause I am really looking forward to getting a good reason to fire you." I smile widely, a smile I usually use in the club, just that in this case, it wasn't meant nicely.
She scoffs "You won't fire me. You like it when someone bothers you, I learned that much in these three months of me being here."
I lick my teeth in an annoyed manner and stare at her blankly "I said, elaborate, not analyze me."
"You're an idiot, Price."
"Yes, you said that already." I nod and widen my eyes at her as if that is some top secret.
"Don't think I don't know your reputation. One of my friends was head over heels in love with you, even though you two just made out, 'cause apparently, you couldn't get your dick to stand up. And then I come here working for you and I learn you keep crying over some life tragedy. Man, for once in your life someone decided to cut you out and you make a world's problem out of it. Now, I don't know if people around you are honest, but you aren't exactly in your early 20s, so you might as well stop acting like some emo kid, call back Austin and tell him you'll go out with the chick he paired you up with."
I furrow my brows at her in that horrified way and just stare at her. I have so many things to say to her, but I don't know where to start. "How do you know about my erection?"
"That's not the point." Justine says, rolling her eyes, which she seems to do a lot, especially around me "You have to-"
"No, that's exactly the point!" I protest and I am ready to hit a woman for the first time in my entire life.
"Can you just shut up? I'm trying to say something here!" she argues back, but I don't care.
"And what do you mean I'm not in my early 20s? Are you trying to say I'm old?!" I get up on my feet, rising from my chair "You haven't even thought about sex as good as the one that I could give you. It takes years of experience to become a stallion like me, girlie!"
"Oh my god, you're not seeing the real point! You're stuck in a cave, not even trying to crawl out of, you're slacking away, laying your frustrations out on me, while you're getting older and older, which is also probably the reason your erection is failing you. I know you know about your dick biology."
Okay, that's it.
"You're fired!"
"I'm not." she says and gives me the phone "Call Austin and tell him you'll go out!"
I glare at her in disbelief "How do you dare to do this? And why did you listen to my conversation with him?"
"Does it matter?" she asks me, giving me a quizzical look. After a while, when I don't say a thing, she says "And who knows, maybe you could finally get your gear to start working again."
We have some kind of staring contest until I rip the phone from her hands and spit out "Fine."
She smiles triumphantly and is on her way to leave the office when I say "You're still fired." and all I get back is her middle finger as she sits down behind her assistant's desk and checks her notifications of Facebook.
Once that little war is over, I look at the phone, weighing my decision. Justine wasn't right, but she wasn't wrong. As much as I hate to admit it, she was right about my problems with erection and she was right maybe I could get it to work again if I went out and did something different than I usually do, which is go home and do nothing else of such importance.
The last thing I am aware is, Austin's voice on the other line, confused why would I call him, and suddenly the sound of my voice that somehow doesn't even sound like my own says "When's the date tonight?"
A/N: I dedicate this chapter to yabookprincess who has been the most supportive friend when I started Wattpad and who inspired me to write something 'funny'. Love you x
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~Blackie
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