I hold her for a long time since she has a lot to cry for. I knew before she was in pain and that the guy broke her heart but I never thought she'd be hurt beyond recognition. Kind of ironic of me to say that, no one understood how hard it was for me to deal with my mother either. 

If her sobs get weaker, it's not because she has relived every memory of him and has accepted he won't be the one to kiss her in the morning when they wake up. She's too exhausted to cry any more and she becomes heavier in my arms. 

She's clinging onto me and soon I'm the only thing that's keeping her up, otherwise, she'd collapse in bed and fall asleep in tears. 

I stay with her until she's asleep. I don't want her all alone in a room feeling worthless and lonely. She has sobbed silently alone before. If I leave her before she calms down, it just might get worse for her. 

Like rocking Devon before, I do the same with her.

It's so weird to think that at this hour yesterday we were kissing and undressing each other. Just twenty-four hours ago she was throwing her head back in pleasure and now she's burying it away from the world so her tears wouldn't be on display.

I have a feeling I did do something to her. I don't know what it was like for her when she was alone in her apartment but I doubt she has cried herself to sleep every night. I think sleeping with me did something to her. For all I know, it could be guilt for sleeping with one and yearning for another. 

I look at the mess of red hair in my arms and sigh. She's one sensual being. I knew it from the moment I met her, how she held back, how she was learning how to bring her walls back down again. But then again, she always brought herself back up. 

Years ago when I've already lived only with my mother, Dad told me something. I called him after I made sure May and Daniel were sleeping and while my mother and... some guy were making sounds. I struggled to talk and I as well couldn't damn breathe. He told me to calm down and he stayed on the line until I told him the sounds had stopped. He said strong people are the ones who fall because it's the strength that is needed to lift yourself from your knees. 

I haven't called my Dad in a while...

Annabelle is just like that, falling in the evenings, rising in the mornings. 

Maybe she thought that sleeping with me would erase the feelings of despair towards her ex or maybe she's too afraid to let go. Four years of living together just indicate they've been together for an even longer time. Patty and I dated for two years and it's needless to say we both had some picking up to do after we broke up. But more than four years, that's a big commitment and from the looks of it, Annabelle still loves him in a way. As she's said, she gave him everything and he dropped it. 

Slowly and gently I ease her down on the bed. As I let her head down on the pillow, her hair gets in a way, covering her eyes and her nose. With a soft touch, I swipe the red strands of hair away. The skin around her eyes is still pink and slightly puffy, and her nose is still runny. 

If it weren't for the obvious features indicating she cried her heart out half an hour ago, one could easily say she's sleeping soundly. What's going on in her dreams, is a whole different thing. Maybe she's dreaming of him, reliving some memories or believing she's creating new ones, a new reality that will hurt once she'll open her eyes and see he's nowhere close. 

I get up when my eyelids become as heavy as if made out of iron.

I should really get some sleep...

I open the door for myself to leave when a silent whisper disturbs me "Nathan?"

I turn, hoping she won't be plunged back to tears and regret "Yes?"

A moment of silence before she speaks "Thank you."

My lips twitch into a smile and I whisper warmly "Anytime, Annabelle. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

***

Like the previous morning, I struggle to open my eyes. Somehow, with Annabelle not by my side I'm not so inspired to run for the hills and I want to turn to my other hip and doze off some more. 

I groan when I'm trying to turn and mumble something before I drop with my full weight into the cushions again. 

I hear and feel something drag itself by the couch and even though I'm curious I'd still rather sleep a few hours off. 

"Be-buh!" Tiny hands reach for my trousers where I usually wear my belt and pull on the tiny straps of fabric. 

"No," I mumble, trying to break free from the hands but they are persistent. "No," I say again, louder this time. 

The sound of steps approach the couch where I just want to sleep and a bright Annabelle's voice speaks "Good, you're awake."

"No," I mutter, "I'm not." Sighing, I turn back to face the day and see Devon peering up at me. "What?" 

Annabelle picks Devon up and caresses his hair "Don't be like that. If you're not awake, you also don't have to be grumpy."

"I'm not awake nor am I grumpy," I say while rubbing my eyes. While doing it, I recall being awake before but I'm not sure if it's a part of my imagination or is it something that really happened. 

"Well, you are. There are fresh coffee and breakfast in the kitchen, but I suppose you're not interested because you're not awake." She announces, teasing me along and walks back to the kitchen with Devon. She's probably going to feed him. 

The moment before she leaves, I notice what she's wearing and it's definitely not a bra!

I get up which sounds much lighter and brighter than it is. It's a process in my case, sitting up, staring into nothingness then burying my face in my palms, lying back down and sitting up again, all before I actually get up. 

With uneasy steps, I drag myself to the kitchen and see French toast gazing at me from the table. I still see the smoke of heat coming off of it and my mouth water at the sight of it. 

Devon's in his chair, wailing with his arms in anticipation of food Annabelle's preparing. She's behind the counter, smashing various fruit into a puree and when I walk by her to get my coffee, I just can't resist but imagine what would it be like if she bent down and let us do a little morning quickie. 

I haven't even been awake for half an hour... 

Ignoring the sudden desire pulsing through me, I keep myself busy getting a cup and pouring coffee in it. All the while, I can't help but eye her figure, her fingers, her slim neck and how she's dressed. I approve of the simplicity she's put on today - pink shorts and a white T-shirt. I wonder if I could see anything through the white fabric... 

"How did you sleep?" She asks me out of nowhere. I suppose I should be the one asking her that. 

I take the first sip of coffee and begin to piece myself together. There's no such thing as a good morning without a good cup of coffee. "I think I passed out, to be honest. I don't even know if I called to work this morning or not." 

"You did," she informs me and when she notices I don't understand how can she know about that, she elaborates "Your secretary called on the home phone and when I picked up, she just said she took care of Lenart and Jed but that they expect some kind of e-mail from you." 

Wow. For once Justine did something good. 

"Yeah, probably a report on what I'll do from home. Did she ask any questions when she heard a woman speak on the phone?"

"Actually," her voice fades out and I see she's suspecting something "she didn't even give me a chance to say anything. She rattled that in the phone and hung up." 

"Did she say I'm an idiot?" 

Annabelle looks surprised by the question and a bit startled "No, but she called you a 'selfish ass'."

"Ah, so it is my secretary. Okay." I get to the table after I get sick of only swallowing my own saliva instead of eating the toast, all the while feeling Annabelle's eyes following me. 

She approaches the matter carefully as she walks to the fridge and gets out a bottle of dark pink liquid out "Is there... something that's bothering your secretary?"

I chuckle "Me, I guess." I look up and see the distrustful look in her eyes "Oh, god, no! No! Never, believe me!" 

Uncomfortable images of Justine and me occupy me and thankfully, I am strong enough to focus my mind on jiggly Annabelle's buttcheeks. A much nicer thought, indeed.

Her empty hand rises in the air in defeat and she says "It's none of my business what you do, I just thought it weird when she hung up so quickly." From one of the cupboards, she fetches a glass, fills it with the drink she got from the fridge and places it in front of me "Drink."

Suspiciously, I eye the beaming pink colour "It looks radioactive."

"Unlike your secretary, I don't want to poison you. It's pomegranate juice." She sits down opposite to Devon and starts feeding him. Happily, he munches on whatever he finds is on the spoon and I doubt he even knows what it tastes like. He's like a dog, licking and swallowing everything on his way. 

"But why do I have to drink it?" I object, not trusting this no matter how nicely coloured it is and how exotic the fruit may look. 

Annabelle's eyes meet mine as she's giving Devon a spoonful of food "It's very healthy and a strong aphrodisiac."

I continue to stare at her and when our eyes lock again, I lift up a glass "Do you really think I need an aphrodisiac?"

She flushes. And she flushes dark. Now... We could do something about that...

She gets back to feeding Devon, rolling her eyes "That's just a by-the-way thing. Now, drink."

"A by-the-way thing, huh!" I mutter and lift up the glass. I expect something disgusting to run down my throat but once I taste it... I think I could drink a gallon of this.

"Yes, a by-the-way thing!" She repeats my words as if to scold me but it looks like she's more trying to convince herself of that.

She concentrates on Devon from now on, maybe on purpose to avoid the conversation of aphrodisiacs with me but as she does that, I care of look at her.

I know, I've been looking at her a lot but lately, she's shown so many different aspects of her. It's infuriating and intriguing. I've rarely been so interested in women I have slept with yet there's something about Annabelle I can't figure out. It could be nothing but interest is still there. It's probably because I talked to her multiple times and spent weeks before actually having sex with her. But for instance, I feel no need to see Carly ever again or Kenzie. Eliza though... She's like Annabelle, someone who sparked my interest. 

Annabelle looks nothing like the mess she was in the middle of the night. The only factor, that could indicate how she felt yesterday is the black bags under her eyes, otherwise, she looks eager to start the day. As I've said, that's just how she looks, what she feels on the inside is a whole other story. 

Now, that her torso is more or less facing my direction, I settle my curiosity regarding her white T-shirt. After I'm pretty sure she's too busy talking to Devon and feeding him, I, without any remorse, look directly at her breasts. 

There's a slight pinkish circle on the shirt but it's too subtle and definitely not enough for most men. With my wild imagination, a memory of her naked and this strong aphrodisiac she made me... Well, it's enough for me, even though I think she looks nicer without the shirt on. 

Devon smacks his lips together and when another spoon of puree comes his way he looks in every possible direction to avoid it. 

"Pumpkin, it's just one more spoon. Come on, this is the last one," she begs him and tries to persuade him to take another bite. 

He closes his mouth shut and even shuts his eyes. He's an expert at showing what an ass he can be. 

Annabelle leans back against her chair defeated. Her look travels to me and lifts a bowl "Could you finish this?"

With a mouthful of toast in my mouth, that is mouth-watering and too good to be true, I shake with my head "I'm good."

"Please, Nathan? It's just a few spoons and it's fruit." She protests, trying to persuade me now. 

I swallow the bite I've been chewing and eye the bowl "Is it a strong aphrodisiac?"

Annabelle's face flushes once more, which has a springing effect on me, and she pouts my way when she slides the bowl over to my side "Don't be an ass and eat this. You're a grown man, not a baby, I think you can manage this."

Hey! 

I glare at her, actually pretty triggered by this. Just because I'd rather eat French toast, I'm behaving like a child? What? 

"How come you decided to stay home today?" She asks as she's busy wiping Devon's mouth and hands because the kid eats like a pig. 

I shrug and eat the first spoon of the puree. Well, damn, that's hella good! "I thought because of a bad reaction you had to that pill yesterday you'd still be feeling awful."

Her eyes rest on me and with a smile showing disbelief she asks "Really?"

Okay, the douchebag in me wants to laugh and say "No, but it sounds real poetic, huh!" but I know better than that. Even though, it's bugging me to say it really bad. "You were in a pretty bad shape yesterday and I also don't like random people walking in and out of my apartment." 

Annabelle puts on a smug smile "You're thinking of Caitlin, aren't you?" After I nod slightly and finishing off the puree, she chuckles "She was hesitant to leave me yesterday. She finds you insensitive."

She finds me insensitive?

I could comment on it, about how cold I find her and how distant she is to any human emotion but I let it pass. She's Annabelle's sister and I understand even if I told her the truth, she'd protect her. It's a sibling thing. Instead, I go for something that has nothing to do with personal issues I have about her sister "I value the privacy of my home and I only see Caitlin as a mere acquaintance. I know you needed someone around yesterday, I don't have a problem with that, but if I can avoid it, I will."

She smiles and looks at the table when she's cleaning the puree that fell from the bowl and didn't find its way into Devon's mouth.

"What?" I ask.

"Oh, nothing. You just strike me as someone who likes to keep his things his and his only."

Her words carry a weight of truth. People who are close to me barely know what's going on with my life. Nobody even knows why Patty and I broke up. Maybe it's better that way, this is nobody else's busines but ours.

"I think everyone loves their privacy. Some, like me, are just stricter about it." I shrug and watch Annabelle pale a little.

Carefully she proceeds with shifting in her seat "Yeah... Could... You know, what happened yesterday stay between us?" She bites her lip and before I can tell her it's none of my business to talk about her personal issues, she goes on to explain where the trouble lies "Caitlin is really pushing me to move on, she keeps trying to drag me on dates and she wants to have neverending conversations with me about being single and stuck in a past and all that. And I'm kind of really sick of it. So... Could that be our little secret?"

Showing a sign of weakness. That's probably the reason I find Annabelle nicer than Caitlin, she hates looking weak but she knows she can't control it. While her sister is all about being distant and unapproachable. Like Austin has said, Annabelle is warm.

"And if," she starts talking again but flushing this time "you could keep the other night for yourself too?"

Ah, that night.

I smile even though I'd love to tease her and ask her for a more... detailed description of the night she's talking about "You don't have to worry about any of it."

Annabelle responds with a warm and relieved smile. I guess some guys do like to boast about having sex with this or that girl but I grew tired of it. 

Devon protests in his chair when he notices the world isn't turning around him for a split one second and Annabelle quickly takes him in his arms. He gratefully puts his head on his breasts and looks at me. He looks at me. It's like he's trying to say: 'Yeah, look where I am fucker!' 

"Apparently you two need some alone time," I get up, holding a plate with one French toast still on it. Annabelle peers up at me and I show her with my look I'll be in the office, working for a living. 

***

Working from home is so much easier. One of the reasons is there is no nagging secretary who's out there to get me whenever I suck in a breath of air. Instead of Justine handling her nails, I have Annabelle checking up on me how's it going and if I know when will I be hungry. Now, that's one big difference!

As for what's related to work, I don't feel so pressured replying to the gnawing e-mails. Maybe because I know they can't seek me out later and complain.

I open one of the last e-mails and see a plan drawn before me. I look at it from all possible sides and all I can say is "What the fuck..." Then I actually look in which department the guy is and I get it it's from the water department, on short: something I know almost nothing about ever since I wanted to specialise in solar power.

Usually, the e-mails I get are mostly disappointing but today is not one of those days. One of those who is somehow close to my heart, Owen Ritz, has impressed me the third time in a row. In most cases, I get bored quickly, so this guy really knows what he's doing. If I approve another one of his projects, he's going to look for Miss Jimenez and ask her to create a prototype. I think he deserves that, so he gets a big fat yes from me.

Sometimes I really love my job. I am so praised from all sides, respected, cherished, and to think I came from a zero to this without any family or friends connections, it makes me feel even better.

Not as great as having sex but it counts for something.

Somehow all the while I should be working, what's on my mind is a replay of the previous night and I find it funny how she's never mentioned her ex's name. Who knows why he left but I'd sooner imagine her leaving him since she's one great gal.

Then my thoughts shift and Annabelle is no longer wrapped in a blanket, crying into it to stiffen the sound of sobs. Nope. She's walking around in those pink shorts, her buttcheeks attractively jiggling, calling me like sirens call to a sailor. Well, I'm one hell of a horny sailor. I'd jump on her like a lion if it'd be acceptable.

My imagination has always been hard to deal with, specifically when it revolved around a naked girl but this time it's plunging me into despair. Before I could get hard thinking about Annabelle, imagining what she's like under the skirt and cotton T-shirt, but now that I've slept with her, it's gotten worse. Now I know exactly how things look, how they react and the desire to see and experience it all over again is like an itching feeling you can't scratch away. 

I spy on the door of my office and listen to the sounds. There are some baby laughter and lots of squealing, I take it no one will check up on me any time soon. Devon can play for a long time, he's tireless, especially when he's with Annabelle. Where I'm concerned he just likes to walk over my balls, apparently. 

Remembering of the pain is like reliving it. I sigh as the bloody taste in my mouth resonates throughout my body but looking down at my manhood... It's still more than ready for another go.

I guess I could jerk off... I don't want Annabelle seeking me out to tell me lunch is ready and I'm there swinging like a freaking chopper. Who knows, maybe she's gonna be impressed, rip off her shirt and shorts and be at my disposal. 

Wishful thinking...

What I need is a cup of coffee and the rest of the e-mails answered. 

A/N: Nathan will never change, will? :P

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