Annabelle has agreed to stay over for the night. More like surrendered. I hated the thought of her driving sick, and even more, of her being alone in an apartment with no one to jump to her aid. She has helped me many, many times and since this pain she's into is a part of my doing, it's only fair I help her out this time.

She leaves a couple of times to go to the bathroom and cough out more of the disgusting green bile and whenever she comes back to rest her head on the couch and partly on my shoulder, it looks like she's going to doze off.

I'm too hesitant to give her anything to eat. It's not the best that her stomach is completely empty but I have a feeling macaroni and cheese wouldn't stay in there for long. I do make sure she drinks. She drinks very carefully and water only but I don't want to find her next morning all dried up.

"Are you at least getting a little bit better?" I ask, concerned with her condition and if she'll get through the night normally.

She shifts and takes a deep breath to keep her stomach from twisting "You should've seen me around lunchtime. I was in the bathroom so much I felt guilty about leaving Devon all alone." She lifts her glance apologetically "I'm sorry about him, Nathan."

"Annabelle, you're in really bad shape, don't feel guilty about him. I'm sure he had fun nonetheless." I smile and put the blanket, the very same I gave her this morning, around her shoulders again.

Annabelle smiles lightly, though it seems like it's too painful for her to do so.

"What if you lie down? Maybe you could fall asleep easier." I suggest. She looks half-dead and too tired to dig up her own grave. Maybe if she falls asleep, her stomach could calm down.

"I don't know. I have a feeling if I'll lay down everything will just get worse." She shrugs and adds "Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea, though."

With closed eyes, she's leaning back to lie down and try to fall asleep.

I stop her on her way and bring her back up "Oh, no, no."

She brings herself to open her eyes "What is it?"

"You're not sleeping here. Come, we're going to bed." I say and get up.

I look down at her and see her weakly shaking with her head "I'm fine here, Nathan. I don't want to get up, really."

"Good thing you don't have to." I crouch down and swoop her up into my arms.

Her eyes light up with life when she's taken by surprise. If I hear it right, she even gives out a yelp "Nathan!"

I laugh and keep her up in the air, up in my arms "Let me take care of you!"

She laughs lightly and silently as if giving the sound more power could doom her "Alright."

It doesn't take us long to reach the bedroom. I notice she's very light as I carry her but I suppose that's what ballerinas should be like. Thanks to my reflexes, I avoid bumping her head into a doorframe. By the bed, I slowly kneel down and place her on the sheets.

Annabelle smiles as she looks up to me "Thank you, Nathan."

"You don't have to thank me for that," I smile and am about to leave. It'd be probably for the best if I leave her to her rest. Having gawking eyes on you while you're sick and desperately trying to fall asleep, doesn't really help.

"Nathan?" She mumbles, her voice so thin it's nearly lost in the silence of the room.

I turn around when I'm standing under the doorframe "Yes?"

My first thought is she's going to throw up again. It'd be a good idea to bring her a bucket or something by the bed so she wouldn't have to run to the bathroom if she'll be in distress.

She looks like she's talking in her sleep with her eyes closed, her face expressionless and only her lips barely moving. It's quite a beautiful sight if you take away her sickness. "Could you tuck me in?"

She takes me by surprise but I smile instinctively. The picture that jumps to my mind is the one of Aidan whenever we've had a long day of playing. From running around the place to throwing him in the air and giving him a three-hour long bath with bubbles and toys. Annabelle reminds me of that right now. She looks like a helpless child and I suppose she feels that way too. I remember when I was eight if I got just a little bit of cold, I wanted my Dad to treat me like a baby.

"Sure," I smile and sit on the edge of the bed. I reach for the covers and slowly pull the over Annabelle and making sure she's packed with warmth from all sides. Tucking her in is much more enjoyable than tucking in any child.

I don't know if she's still awake but from her slow breathing and gentle expression, I conclude she's probably already asleep. She's had a long day.

Right before I get up, I look down at her and somehow have the urge to kiss her temples. That's... what you do when you tuck someone in, right? Aidan didn't want a kiss unless it was from his mother, 'cause he obviously doesn't see his mother for who she really is - a dragon.

In the end, I just sigh and leave the room. I'm careful when it comes to closing the door and since I've been so busy making sure Annabelle's not gonna throw up all of her intestines, I go to see how is Devon.

As I walk in, I see him sitting in his crib, pulling off his socks and throwing them around. When he sees me, his lips pull into a wide grin and he throws the remaining sock in my direction. He's lucky it didn't hit me.

"Hi, buddy. Why aren't you asleep, hm?" I kneel by the crib and look down at him.

"Eguh-!"

I smile "Is that so, huh? Well, you were kinda lonely today, weren't you?"

"Egegeh-!"

"Women, am I right?" I shake with my head and I get him out of the crib. I'm not gonna play with him, I still gotta go to work tomorrow but I figure I could at least read him a story.

I sit down on the carpeted floor and craddle him in my lap. I'm thinking really hard what would spring his attention to listen to the story but it looks like he's not interested in it at all. He feels his feet are steadily pressed against my thighs, which is not comfortable at all, but Devon believes it's extra fun. He starts to jump, giggling a little, gazing mesmerizingly at his feet pushing him off the ground.

Is it the time for him to start walking? Doesn't that happen later, in a few months? This doesn't hurt him, does it?

After he bruises my thighs for good, I hold his hips and make him stop "Alright, buddy, that's enough. Storytime."

Apparently, it's not story time. He just steadies himself on my thighs again, on the very same place as before, and starts jumping again. I mean, he's done it before, this isn't something new, but...

And he misses my thigh...

I go cross-eyed when his heel hits me in my most precious masculinity and I think my eyes roll back. My whole abdomen feels like having knives stabbed in a wound that never really healed properly and I think my balls are going to fall off.

Mother... Fucker... this fucking. - KID!

When I curl together, as if that will fucking help, Devon rolls off of me and stares at me weirdly. Yeah, wonder what the fuck is up, huh? I can give you a fucking try of it!

"Bebuh..." he mumbles.

I feel my eyes getting teary and honestly, I do want to cry. This gives me all the reason to do so!

"It's fine, it's fine..." I try to say which comes out as a squeal, something that could be referred to as a condition of a really bad voice mutating of a teenage boy. I manage to open my eyes and I squeal at Devon "I'm gonna kill you!"

And he laughs! He laughs!

As the pain slowly fades away, I get a feeling of uncontrollable sickness. I just want to lie down, sleep it off, maybe throw up or something. If I move, my groin still aches burningly.

Devon crawls to me and slaps my face. People would probably say his reflexes and feelings of his muscles aren't that developed yet but I know for a fact that he slapped me! He then lies on his tummy like a frog and peers at me laughingly.

"Oh, no!" I groan, my voice breaking and my whole body breaking a sweat as my irritation gives me some of the power to function properly. "You, villain, are going to sleep! I don't care if you want to play or jump around on people's balls, you're going to sleep!"

I get up, everything still aching in my balls and my stomach having a fucking migraine.

I stumble around and pick up Devon. I'm putting him in the crib, still stumbling around when he holds tightly onto my hand and refuses to let go of it.

"No! Let go!" I groan with a husky voice.

I don't want him playing cute! I'm not in a cute mood and I want to be angry with him!

He tugs on my sleeve, hanging onto my arm as tightly as a baby possibly can.

"Devon..." I speak quietly, beggingly. I just want to lay down and see if my gear is ever going to work again.

"Muhhh..." he whimpers like he's on the verge of crying but not really.

I sigh with a tinglingly painful feeling coursing through my body "Let go. Time to sleep."

If these are not to biggest and most begging puppy eyes I've ever seen...

"Devon, I said let go," I grunt and push my arm away from him. When his touch tears from mine, I see it as a tragic slow-motion scene in a movie.

He doesn't start crying. He grabs for the fence of the crib and pulls himself up. He's literally standing and I don't know what to do! Do I put him on the ground? Do I film it? Is he gonna walk? Will I stop his progress if I push him back? What do I do?!

He stretches one of his hands to me and whimpers again "Buh-!"

From afar, I try to decide what would be the easiest solution and what would be the right one. These two are rarely the same thing unless you a noble selfless man, which... I am not.

Devon tries to reach for me, slightly stumbling as he struggles to stay on his feet. I can't look at him without feeling bad for him and rather... desired.

Suddenly, I exclaim "Storytime! and Devon starts jumping slightly when he sees me approaching him.

He climbs into my arms more than willingly and he immediately snuggles under my neck. It's funny how comfortable he gets since I haven't shaved in a while. I press Devon tightly against me when he shifts so he's lying in my arms. I smile when I realize he just wants me to cuddle him to sleep.

Slowly swaying from left to right and from right to left, with a soft murmured melody of Bed of Roses, I put him to sleep. Devon struggles to stay awake and fights against his closing eyelids just like I have this morning. Eventually, he closes them for good but I don't stop with babying him. I'm more than aware there's still a long journey ahead till he falls asleep for good. Thankfully, it appears being in my arms means half of the work done.

The melody slowly fades out and I turn on the ventilation. While I'm waiting for him to fall asleep for good, I take a moment to really look at him, the little meatloaf in my arms and that wants me to hold him so desperately.

He's not a perfect child but just like others, he came to this world with the purpose to love. Who would give up a sweetheart like him? Most of the time, I do want to pull my hair out because of him but then there are moments like this when I don't regret bringing him home and even believe this could actually work if Mr Ritchie won't take him away.

Devon's breathing is slow and his little chubby chest falls and rises in sync. Again, just by observing his breathing, I become sleepy. If I weren't standing, I'd definitely have fallen asleep. I inspect him one more time and gently put him in his crib. He grunts baby-like but he doesn't let anything disturb him.

I cover him with the soft blanket he likes so much and with a pinch of his fat cheek, I'm out of here.

Dropping on my couch, I'm more than happy to close my eyes and let them rest in their own darkness. The blackness is so comfortable I breathe out a big chunk of relief. The silence, however, is not present.

Something that sounds like quiet yelps comes from the bedroom where Annabelle is sleeping. I sit up when the sound continues to linger in the apartment. Then it hits me - is Annabelle crying? I thought she has fallen asleep and seeing her so tired I didn't even remotely expect her to wake up any time before ten in the morning.

I get up from the couch and approach my own bedroom like it's a cage with a dangerous and unpredictable animal inside. Slowly, I open the door and peek in. When I see her curled together, sobbing silently, I feel like an idiot for not knocking first. And also a bit guilty, what if she's crying because of me?

Anyway, I knock on the already opened door just to announce my presence.

Annabelle flinches momentarily and her breath is caught in her throat as she tries her best to stiffen her tears.

"Is... everything okay?" I ask and a part of me wants to slap me. Of course, something is not okay! Look at her!

The light resonating from the city beams through the window and that's the only way I can see her nod slowly in the dark shadows that surround her silhouette. "Yes, everything is fine."

I walk deeper into the room and sit on the bed. She's still facing away but I take it that's how she wants it. She isn't the type of a girl to weep in front guys and beg for them to pity her.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I'm just a little emotional, okay? It's been a rough day and now leave me be." She tries to blow me off quickly but unlike some idiots, I see when even a girl herself doesn't know if she'd like someone close or not.

I sigh and m fingers graze the fabric of the sheet she's covered with "Is it something I did?"

The question rolls off my tongue harder than I expected it to. It's a heavy subject by itself but wording it makes it all that much harder. I don't know if she's gonna leap at me, start crying more or give me a relieving answer. And in case it is something I did, what do I do next except apologise?

Annabelle sighs heavily and I prepare myself for the worst. The wheels in my head start to turn as I begin to think about proper words to say. Then she steers to a whole different direction.

"I miss him."

That answer makes me perk up my ears and look at her. She's... referring to her ex, isn't she?

"I miss him so much," she says again and sniffles. She struggles to say more but words fail her. Either she doesn't know how to word it or she doesn't even know where to begin.

"Clearly he didn't see what he had, Annabelle." I start, trying to figure out what would give her some comfort. "Just because it's me, it doesn't mean I can't see a lovely girl that you are. I don't mean that in just physical way but... You've done a lot of things for me while plenty of people would rather watch me burn. That says a lot about you."

Annabelle shifts and curls up together tighter than before. "I appreciate it, Nathan, but... Being nice to you doesn't help me in dealing with-" she stops abruptly and lets the last word roll out in a whisper "-him."

"People are never nice. At least, not by itself. People are nice if they want something in return. You are not nice, you're kind-hearted, which is... Probably why he managed to make you suffer. If he dumped you after living together for years and without giving you an explanation, you should stop 'missing' him and see him for an asshole that he is."

"That's the thing. He was very nice, he didn't just gather his stuff and leave, he talked to me about it, he was... a gentleman. That's why all of this is even worse, I can be the only one to blame for the failed relationship." All while talking, she's still crying. Every now and then she pauses to swallow down her tears in order to speak comprehensibly again. "He wasn't an asshole."

"Uh, trust me, he was and still is." I lean close to her and mutter "Takes one to know one."

Annabelle chuckles lightly and turns around to look at me. Her smile doesn't fade, it stays on her face, the same way as it's looked before. Her lips don't twitch in trying to keep up the smiling facade and her eyes are still smiling along even though they're a bit teary. "You're an asshole expert now?"

I nod lightly "I can give you all the list with the years of service."

She smiles again but it's fading now.

"Annabelle," I start and figure what she really needs is just the truth. I bet all of her friends have given her pep talks and dragged him through the mud. Even though they did that all for the right reasons, it doesn't look like that helped her in the long run. "He may be an asshole but if you keep repeating that in your head, it won't make things better. Neither will if you won't stop thinking what you or what he did wrong. It's a process but eventually, you'll have to accept he's no longer with you and the sooner you allow yourself to accept it, the easier will be to move on with everything."

She sniffles again and when she speaks her voice is slightly husky which is probably from throwing up and crying "I don't know whether to call you insensitive or helpful."

"You can just call me a douchebag as people usually do when I tell them the truth." I shrug and look down at her.

"Tough choice, really," she chuckles again and takes a deep breath. "Where is this advice coming from? It doesn't sound like something out of Cosmopolitan."

"'Cause it's not," I chuckle along "I had girlfriends before, you know."

"Well, yeah, you mentioned your brother's fiance?" When we start talking about me it looks like the whole burden on her shoulders becomes easier to carry. Maybe talking about anything else but her relationship with the guy who left her is easier to do. "Were there others?"

I pout my lips and give her a side glance "Annabelle, look at me. Of course, there were others as well."

She laughs for the first time today and it makes the atmosphere lighter. She's always been easy to talk to because, unlike with Patty, I don't have to be so careful with what I say. She'd probably smack me a couple of times for things I say but she brushes it off with a scolding joke. Hearing her laugh brings that back, sort of puts everything back in order.

"I mean, sure," she says after she's done laughing, "but you don't seem too fazed talking about her. For you, it's like a by-the-way thing."

I shrug "Hasn't always been, honestly. It just happened a long time ago and time has a tendency to fossilize the remains."

Annabelle's brows furrow just a bit and the edges of them turn downwards "So, the advice you gave me is actually your own."

Slowly, I nod. It's not hard to talk about this stuff, just slightly uncomfortable. Especially with Annabelle who seems to dig up the nitty-gritty parts of these confessions.

However, it looks like she is taken aback by it. People are always surprised when it turns out that I do have feelings.

"As I said, things with Patty ended badly. It just so happens it was bad for both of us, even though she doesn't think so." I force out a small smile 'cause I'm done looking at her pitiful look.

She sits up a little and looks more uncomfortable by asking me what's on her mind than me answering it "Is she the reason you don't want to... you know?"

"Have a relationship?" I finish her question she is too afraid to word on her own and when she nods, I shake my head "No. She's not the reason."

Annabelle looks down, somehow surprised by it. I suppose people do think she was the turning point in my life. "I'm sorry, I just thought that after she broke your heart that-"

"She didn't," I mutter, interrupting her. Her eyes dart up at me, I suppose she hasn't expected that either. "If anything, it was me who broke her heart."

"How?" When the word flies out of her mouth, she seems to be embarrassed to say it out loud. Maybe it wasn't meant to see the surface and Annabelle looks slightly uncomfortable that she's spoken before she thought about it. But I understand this, it happens to me at least a couple of times a day.

"It was me who ended it."

Annabelle just glares at me for a while.. Maybe it's for a few minutes the silence is present but I already expect the next question, something anyone and everyone would ask in any given circumstances.

"Why were you so hurt then?"

I gulp when I realise the question isn't the one I expected. Why hasn't she asked me 'Why did you end it?' and why has she asked me why was I feeling the way I was back then?

She catches me at a loss of words. After such a long time and after so many people giving you same questions over and over again, you develop regular answers. It's true I've told Annabelle more than I've told others. More than I've told my Dad or even Daniel.

"I-uh," I shift a bit on the mattress, "I thought it would be easier just letting go, I suppose. She wasn't a lousy girlfriend and I guess we did have a lot of fun together. To let it all go and put it behind me was tougher than I expected it to be."

Annabelle looks at her knees she has folded before her and her fingers gently caress the fabric of the cover that's keeping her warm. Without looking up or stopping tracing the pattern on the sheet, she whispers "Is it possible he's going through the same thing, now?"

Then she looks up like she wants to see if I'm going to answer truthfully or not. With ease, I smile gently "I think it's safe to say that yeah, things probably aren't easy or him either."

She looks back down, sniffling once more. Another tear slides down her cheeks but she wipes it out quickly. Nodding quickly and in small movements, she sighs "Okay."

Sitting by her side, looking at he struggling not to cry, it's really heart-wrenching. People break up all the time, relationships end and marriages turn into divorces but... Annabelle must have really loved him.

I hug her over her shoulders "Hey, it'll just take you some time to process through it. If he thought he could get someone better, it clearly wasn't worth it being with him."

The whole wall in her breaks. The tears start running down her cheeks like the army running towards the enemy in war. Her voice can't remain calm any more and when she makes a sound, it's full of distress. "It just hurts so much. I gave him everything and he... and he dropped it off like it doesn't matter."

I hold her for a while, then she accepts my embrace and climbs deeper into it, crying into my shoulder.

"It hurts so much..." she mumbles again between her sobs and sinks deeper into my arms as if I can shield her from her feelings.

I sigh uneasily and just hold her. Eventually, I whisper "I know." I tighten the embrace and take a deep breath "I know."

I know that damn well.

A/N: Is it strange even I broke into tears?

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