~ One week later ~

I can't remember how the rest of the week has gone. I've been buried in work since Jed came to me both as a boss and a friend. I took his advice for the words of God and started following job descriptions of a head engineer. 

Mark my words, be careful what you wish for. I've dreamt of this position since I showed my Dad one of my first designs. It may or may not have been a project for children but it was enough to spring my interest which potential only grew when renewable resources appeared as something realistic and reachable. 

Since then I've had this dream of becoming a boss in my field of engineering and now that I've become one... I'll just say it comes with many extra and less pleasant tasks. I still enjoy it, definitely more than the last one where I was practically an errand boy, a pawn to run around and do everything and more for my boss who'd barely lift a finger. 

What I'm not so fond of is the running around, checking how others are doing, how are their own projects going and see if they've come up with anything that could be worth mentioning to Jed and Lenart. And I've only begun with listing all of the responsibilities. I'm also the one who needs to sign thousands of documents that allow my other workers to go on a field legally and in the name of the company. Guess what, I still need to work on my own designs and projects. 

Man, I remember when I had to work on field. If that wasn't a nightmare, I don't know what it was. It sounds weird, right? Engineer that hates working in the field. It's true, though. I was a little intrigued with it when I first started. I loved to play the boss and tell them where they needed to back off and where they could continue. The thing that became so bothersome was the interaction with everyone and how the fault would always fall on my shoulders. 

Thankfully, that's all behind me now. I work from the office, always doing research, dragging pencil over the sketches that could be turnel into prototypes, then doing even more research, do some more drawing of the same idea with different materials used, and guess what - even more research! 

It may not be as dreamy as it sounds but after working on solar cells for so long you know exactly what adaptive cells need, how surface texturing works best and then you're only trying to find a way to improve the thin-film solar cell or work on the intensity of absorption in another place. 

I won't go in any more details, because frankly, I'm too tired to do that. I've worked like a slave and if my description of my job sounded a little exciting earlier, I'm telling you, it's really a bother right now. I spend most of my time just looking up certain materials then calling around our departments to ask if we even have it! And then they say it we don't and I gotta start all over again. 

It's how this week went. It went with me not being aware of anything. I recall coming home, seeing Annabelle who spoke graciously of how Devon is the sweetest kid in the world and after she left, I rememeber wrapping him in a fresh diaper one last time and then there's only a memory of me collapsing in my bed. 

Even when I am free of calculating and rethinking the choices I've made, I dream of defining certain problems, narrowing research and analyzing criteria. My job follows me everywhere. It's infested in me like a virus that has a potential to be beneficial. 

This Thursday, or was it Wednesday, I nearly knocked a poor old woman off her feet with the stroller. No matter how much more drawing my sketches needed, I still tried to find the time to take Devon out for a stroll. Annabelle told me she takes him out twice a day which is more than enough for a baby but I believe this was my excuse to leave my work. 

Sadly, the work didn't leave me. I walked as if I were sleepwalking. In the park where I took Devon are usually tons of parents. It's a nice neighbourhood and the park has a playground in the middle of it, perfect for children. Whenever one of those kids cried, I stuck a pacifier in Devon's mouth. You know what's funny? The pacifier was in his mouth all the time... I have no idea what I was trying to accomplish. 

But as we walked around and Devon played with one of the mini plushies in his stroller and stuck various gummy toys in his mouth, my mind was still fixated on meeting all the requirements a photovoltaiv cell needs. 

I fell in such a deep and silent discussion with myself about generating electron-hole pairs of excitons and separation of change carriers, I didn't see that poor old woman in her shiny red mini-scooter as she tried to come across from one side of the road to the other one where she could feed the pigeons. 

Yes, I knocked her off her seat. She was fine, though! 

Let me clarify this is my only direct and clearest memory of my day after I was done working in my office as Wells & Hether. That didn't mean I stopped working.

Devon was safely in his crib, tossing around his plushies and I was in my office at home, identifying, understanding and interpreting the constraints.

Jed was specific last week, he needs the new design or at least an inovative idea that could work. I don't blame him. I did shit in the past six months and karma came by to say hello. I could stall with the CEOs, I could come up with various excuses or tell them I'm close to finishing it but I want to get it done. I want to show them I am still more than reliable. On short, I just want to keep my job the way it is. 

My body andmind worked in sync for the past week. Everything I did was done automatically like this drive to home today. 

For some reason, I'm sitting in my Alfa Romeo in silence and staring at the windshield. I'm exhausted. If there was a mugger who threatened me with a gun, like hell I'd give him the wallet. I'd let him shoot me! 

Just a minute or two. That's all I take for myself, then I get from the car, lock it and head towards the elevator. 

On my way up, someone joins me but I can't say who it is. I blankly greet the person but I'm so burnt out I don't bother to see if it's one of my neighbours or not. 

Before I enter my apartment, I check on my watch and I see I'm almost one hour late. I'm surprised to see Annabelle still waiting with Devon, even though she is supposed to hold a dancing class today. 

When she sees me, she jumps on her feet and runs to me, of course, all dressed up and ready to leave "Hey, what happened? You're a bit late." 

Annabelle's been my only link to the world this week. I didn't even speak to Austin or Daniel or any other co-worker. Just Annabelle and occasionally with Devon when I wanted him to stop doing something that was annoying me. 

"Yeah, sorry. Work." I mutter so incomprehensibly it's amazing to see she understood it. 

I thought she'd storm out, finally free and would be on her way to work but when she takes a few cautious steps to me after I strolled directly to my office, she doesn't look to be in a hurry. 

I lift my gaze to see her and she looks worried about something "Nathan-" 

"Right, uh, sorry, I completely forgot." I jump and pull my wallet from my back pocket. I can't freaking believe I almost forgot to pay her. Now, that I think about it, did I pay her for the whole past week? 

She observes me but she gives the appearance like there's something she wants to talk to me about. It may soung heartless but I don't have time for emotional crappy-wappy. I've got work to do. 

"I think that's enough or... Y'know, whatever." I hand her the money bills while my other hand is turning on the computer and the monitor. 

Annabelle's hand takes the money and looks at it only to bring her sight back to me "This is hundred dollar bill." 

She passes the money back to me and I take a closer look "Right.. Look, just... I trust you, here. Take as much as you need." 

Just like that I give her the wallet and leave that hundred dollar bill rest somewhere on my desk. If I won't get this done by the end of this weekend, this might be my last hundred dollar bill.

Annabelle beams at my wallet or just looks at it. I don't know, I don't look at her or give her much attention, since I need to rub my eyes and rest them for a second. It feels strangely satisfying to close my eyes and enjoy the the calming darkness. 

It's how my internal battle starts. It feels so calming and soothing to be like that but I know I need to work. I know I have plenty of things to finish and my mind is just jumping between two extremes, trying to find the solution to get both. 

In the end I open my eyes, I'm aware otherwise I'd fall asleep. Annabelle is still sitting on my desk, glaring at me with a slightly furrowed brows but not in an angry way. 

"What is it?" I ask her as I get up and head to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. When I say a cup of it, I mean a coffee so strong I might as well be chewing the beans. 

She follows me wherever I go, even when I'm behind the kitchen counter, leaning on it with my elbows and using all my willpower to stay awake until coffee machine announces it has finished preparing the drink I crave so much. 

"You don't look so well, Nathan." That is all she says, or whispers. Her voice is unusually quiet and alarming. "Are you sure everything is okay?"

I take the largest mug from the cupboard and pour coffee until it's so full it nearly spills over the edge "It's just work, nothing to worry about." 

Except I got plenty to worry about. It's because of that job why I can afford this apartment, why  I can sometimes buy a more expensive brand of clothing like Tom Taylor. The job at Wells & Hether can be easily called my dream job. It's not just about working there and going to lunch breaks with CEOs as well as being their favourite pet. It's a company that offers so much. Yu can start from the bottom and crawl to the top if you're good enough. If you're not as good but you still try, work extra hours and do the best that you can, you get a reward for it. To believe this all could end because of a one fucking power cell is heart-tearing. 

"I'm not the one to get in people's business but I've been here for a week and every day I saw you nearly stumbling through that door." Annabelle starts, always looking at me closely. 

I take a huge chug of the coffee and nearly empty the mug. My God, I need more of this. "Trust me, I'm good." 

I see her shrug and put both of her hands on her hips like she's about to do some squats "I don't know you that well but I never saw you so..." 

"So what?" I ask when her voice trails off.

She looks a bit embarrassed to say it and you know what? She should be. "Fucked up." 

Normally, you'd expect me to throw a tantrum but in this case I just chuckle and let it all slide. Like it matters right now. I know she's trying to be nice and that she's worried but really I'm doing fine. I've been worse. "Girls usually like that." 

"Not that kind of fucked up." Her response makes me glance her way and what I see is a blush stretching across her face. However, she quickly puts on her brave and serious face to get to business and debate a few things with me. "Will you tell me what's up?"

It's a unique thing in this week that I stop thinking about power cells and more about Annabelle's preferences. She made it more than obvious she likes some fucked up things and I might as well explore it. Not in... that way, though. "I wonder, are you more into messy sex hair fucked up thing or torn shirts and tattoos."

When I meet her eyes again, she's giving me the glare. For some reason, I obediently shut up and to make the situation less awkward I make it look like I really need another sip of coffee. 

Annabelle lets the pause stretch a bit longer then she speaks clearly, not like an embarrassed doll at all "To be clear, I like both but this isn't what I'm talking about."

"Oh? Let me guess, your boyfriend in high school a tattoo sleeve and ripped jeans?" I continue to ignore her statements how I look even though I appreciate she noticed I'm not in my best shape. When she doesn't budge and looks more than determined to have the real conversation with me, I give in and tell her what she needs to know "Look, I have a lot of work to do and I'm running late on the projects. That's all." 

"How late?" She demands more information, which doesn't really put me in the good mood. I don't feel the need to consciously remind myself how much I fucked this up. I don't tell her anything and stretch my hand forward to pour myself more coffee. Annabelle grabs my wrist and forbids me from refilling my mug but before I can react she asks me again "How late?"

It's funny how she wants to know it all, really. Now, this is one of the reasons I prefer to remain single. The fucking freedom. 

"Why do you want to know?" I push her hand from my wrist and pour more coffee in the mug while I stare into her eyes. Watch me!

Annabelle shakes her head and shrugs "Because you look tired and coffee will not help you. You'll just start shaking from too much caffeine but you'll still be tired." 

I smile a little and take a few steps around her so I can go back to my office "Annabelle, I'm a strong and independent coffee drinker. I think I'll survive it."

"Why wouldn't you take a rest? Even a power nap is better than nothing." She follows me and stalks me through the apartment, while Devon is still on the ground in the living room playing with his toys. 

"I came to the point where a power nap will result in a long night spent sleeping and I can't afford that, not now." I stop in my tracks  and turn back to her "Look, thank you for worrying about me but I'm a grown guy and I can take care of myself."

"I don't know about being a grown guy but isn't that just another reason more to actually take a break?" Her first remark strangely doesn't annoy me but instead makes me want to smile. Maybe after such a rough week it feels good to hear something funny. 

"At least you kept your sense of humour." I say and Annabelle reluctantly smiles. 

She tries to keep her face straight and now that she's like that, she begins to remind me of the Annabelle I met on that date night. Bubbly cheeks, small smiles and cute determination. I still can't believe Austin fell for Caitlin and not for her. 

"Okay, the thing is I need to bring this finished project to the CEOs eyes this morning. Working on something like that it takes time and if I gotta check up on Devon whether he shat himself or not and to feed him five times a day, I won't be able to do that. That's why I need this!" I lift up a mug and point at it. 

Annabelle crosses her arms and looks over at Devon and back at me. She stretches her both hands forward and takes the mug carefully from my hands. I don't know why I let her and may I add how soft and warm her hands are? "I know you're trying and you get extra points for that but you're struggling with Devon. He's a baby, of course he's demanding but-"

"But what?!" I interrupt her and try to appear mad. At first, I feel angry but after I give Annabelle's words more thought.... She just said the truth. 

She narrows her eyes at me for a moment and proceeds to talk "But it takes you a long time to feed him. It takes you a long time to change his diaper. It takes you a long time to put him asleep. Sometimes that's the way it is with babies but with your running short on time and with sleep deprivity, it's only gonna be even worse for you."

I close my eyes as I usually do to emphasise my annoyance and irritation but the darkness feels so good on my eyes. For a moment I have a feeling of trembly legs and moving back and forth like I'm gonna fall every minute now. I open my eyes and keep what just happened as my secret "What are you suggesting exactly? That I suck?"

She rolls her eyes and pinches the area between her eyes "Let your ego rest, Nathan. There will be plenty of time for it later. I'm saying you need help." 

I pout and, most likely, look like a stubborn baby "First of all, leave my ego alone, he's fine. Second, I'd love to but there's a thing called quality time."

Her brows jump up so daringly I know I'm gonna be here with her for a long long time. What happened to her job, again? "Quality time where you fall asleep holding his spoon in midair? If you're ready to stay awake whole night for probably not the first time in a row, you can sacrifice this weekend as well."

"Yeah, that's all great, I just don't feel like asking Austin to help me with the kid. Maybe it's hard to believe but I'm better with children than he is. Can I get my coffee back now?"

That mug that she took from me earlier stays in her hands. She blushes again and it's a strange thing to see since I didn't really say anything special or grab her for her ass. "I'm single, Nathan. I don't really have much to do during the weekends and it's better to be here with this kiddo than at home watching romantic comedies. Even if that means I'll have a comedy right in the next room." 

I contain the smirk for myself only because it's kind of fun to tease her like that. She has smart comebacks and even sassy at that "I was tempted to accept the offer. But no, thanks. I might look like it but I'm not here for the show."

She is quick to realise I'm joking about the first thing. I can imagine Patty being all butt-hurt and slapping me across the cheek. Annabelle is truly a balsam after dealing with that woman for years. "Okay, then I'll come here tomorrow too."

"I sense a but," If it only was a real butt... 

"Well, aren't your perceptive." She grins and puts my mug of coffee on the counter, away from me "My condition is you go and take a rest. If not anything else, just for a few hours."

Just the thought of going to bed and rest without worrying about it too much makes me feel like myself again. My second thought is would she grin like that if I dropped my pants as well? "Alright, as you wish."

She nods with a smile "Okay. Now, I really gotta go." 

She turns on her heel, when I remember to mention an important thing to her that could as well destroy this whole deal "Hey, uh, there's one thing, though. Is it okay if I pay you for the weekend on Monday? I don't have that much cash on me and I don't write checks."

Annabelle throws her hair over her shoulders and dismissively sways with her hand "You don't have to pay me for the weekend," She goes to Devon in her Converse sneakers and kisses his forehead "Bye bye, baby." 

He responds with a few syllables that don't even form a solid word but that was to be expected. At least he's making a nicer sound than usual. 

One final time she looks at me and smiles "Bye, Nathan and good night." 

Before I even say anything, she's out the door and I'm alone with Devon. Thank God, she is ready to jump and thank the heavens she came forward to aggressively and demanded me to go to sleep. Now, I have an excuse why I can't work today and besides, she was right about everything. I am struggling and I am gonna collapse any moment now. 

From the ground I pick up Devon and change his diaper one more time before I change his day clothes into a baby PJs with red rockets and put him in his crib with all of his toys. 

And for me? I leave the doors of my and Devon's room wide open in case he'll start crying, which he probably will. Then, I take off my jeans and my T-shirt and half naked dive into my sheets. I think I fall asleep before I even hit the bed.

A/N: You finally got a closer look what Nathan actually does for a living. Does it intrigue you or are you just as confused as I am? How did you take Annabelle's offer? Do you think she has a hidden agenda? 

This chapter feels so weird. For the past ten or fifteen chapters I'd write at least 5k words and this one is only 3.8k! What is happening to me! I just thought this chapter could be a bit shorter given all the extra info about engineering and other boring things. I'm glad the publish date for this chapter was this Monday and not the next one, 'cause I probably wouldn't write anything. It's my birthday on Friday! (Yep, Friday 13th)

I dedicated this chapter to chekitarose with whom I discussed many struggles of being a writer, especially a struggle of research about things you weren't really born for - like engineering.

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~ Blackie