This is probably one of the first mornings after a long time when I wake up with a smile on my face. Maybe not literally, but my heart isn't heavy, life doesn't seem too obligatory and I can breathe with ease.

There is no better way to start an early morning than to go under a hot shower and then take your time to drink coffee and read jokes in the newspaper. Because that's what newspapers are for - reading jokes.

As I said, I take my time this morning and as I think about that, I am taken to my past when I barely went to sleep so I could finish projects my asshole of a boss wanted. In reality, he just wanted to get me fired, so he could employ his own son, so he'd give me three or four projects per night. Even though he was a total dick, I liked working in Wells & Hether company and luckily, CEOs are both capable men and when they saw every project that dickhhole represented was my idea, they quickly made the decision who was the productive one and who the slacking one.

Sadly, I am turning into the second one. Maybe now that I stopped feeling bad about everything and after my life got back on track, I'll get back to work. It's a weird thing for me not to work on any projects since I love my job. For me engineering isn't just a way to pay the bills and get through life, it's something in which I legitimately enjoy and what I'm passionate about.

When I tell people I'm an engineer, they always jump to conclusions I studied that so I'd take a place higher on the social ladder than other professions. But, do you really believe studying physics, mathematics, even chemistry and all other specialised fields, is that easy and something you only do to get a good job? Maybe some people do that, but you have to be at least a little interested in that topic to get a degree.

I was joking earlier when I said I read the newspaper only for jokes, that's not true. I usually read the articles that interest me and no, Kylie's new baby isn't one of those and if sometimes newspaper has nothing of my interest in it, there are always jokes. Sometimes they're good, sometimes bad, but they're always a big plus when ladies are involved. Experienced or not, a man knows you have to make a woman laugh. If you'll make her cry, she definitely won't let you take off her bra. Unless you're Patty, but that's a story for another time.

I read the first joke and take a sip of my dear coffee, I can finally enjoy.

• A lawyer was just waking up from anaesthesia after surgery and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said 'You're beautiful.' then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.

A couple of minutes later, he opened his eyes again and he said: "You're cute."

His wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful' she was 'cute', so she asked 'What happened to beautiful?'

He replied 'The drugs are wearing off.'

• A priest, a minister and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So each one of them goes into the woods, finds a bear and attempts to convert it. Later they all gather and the priest goes first: 'When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with Holy Water. Next week is his first Communion."

'I found a bear by the stream' says the minister 'and preached God's holy Word. The bear was so mesmerised, it let me baptize him.'

They both look at the rabbi who is lying on a gurney in a body cast 'Looking back' he says 'Maybe I shouldn't have started with circumcision.'

• A blonde was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said 'I'll radio you ever 1000 feet to see how you're doing."'At 1000 feet the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2000 feet he said she was still doing well.

Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped and she twirled to the ground. The instructor ran to where she crashed and pulled her out of the helicopter. He asked her 'What went wrong?'

The blonde said 'At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off.'

I snort at the last one and almost painfully bite my lower lip. Too bad there are only three of those, I wouldn't mind reading few more of them.

I swallow down the last chug of coffee I've left in my mug and that's when I get a message from Austin, urging me to come to the office quickly since Jed and Lenart would like to speak to me. At first, I'm terrified as to what they want from me, then I remember that's probably one of many meetings they've had with their potential partners. I've joined them a few times, but mostly I am not needed, however, it looks like this time I am.

"Alright," I say to myself out loud and quickly type a reply to Austin, letting him know I'm on my way. With that, I grab for my jacket and my briefcase and I'm out of here.Except...

"Weeeh-!"

Muffled crying, hungry tears, walls suffocating the penetrating sounds, all those factors remind me this morning was too beautiful to be true.

Standing between the doorframe, I slowly turn and my eyes drill in the door to Devon's room "Oh, fuck."

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?!

I dash back, dropping both briefcase and jacket and I run to Devon's room, where he is in painful hungry agony. I lift him in my arms in hope to soothe him a little, so I'd get an opportunity to figure out my next step without his vocal chords splitting my head in half.

My first thought is 'You should've been put in jail for this, you fucking moron!' And I agree with it one hundred percent! I have no idea why I never thought about my work and what would happen to Devon in the meanwhile. During my research, I was nowhere close to thinking about babysitters, even less hiring them!

Checking the time on the clock, I know I can spare ten or twenty minutes to do something about Devon, so that isn't so bad. The real trouble lies how I'd manage to get to the point where Devon would be taken care of and I'd be happy and relaxed at work.

Happy and relaxed sound too strong, so I'd rather use a description of not being put under direct pressure.

With crying baby in my arms, I look around the room as if the fridge or a lantern are going to whisper me a solution or some old granny would appear and offer herself to be a babysitter for the day. Well, none of that happened. It would be great if we did, but this isn't science fiction, this is my life. It used to be fantasy, but recently it has become a tragedy.

When I glance at the door again, I am swarmed over with an idea what I could do. I've been such an idiot for not thinking of this before! The real estate agent warned me about it, that this is the perfect place to raise a family and that these apartments are bought very quickly. Most of my neighbours had families. Hell, they even had the stay-at-home mothers, so asking them to look after my kid wouldn't be too weird, now would it?

I check the time once more, even though I last checked it thirty seconds ago, and I leave my apartment, walking to my neighbours' doors and knock.

"Molly, hi," I say sheepishly.

The woman before me curiously peers her eyes at me. She's always been a delightful creature and I have no idea what she's doing with that prick. She's too good for him if you ask me.

Of course, she smiles at me lovingly "Morning, Nathan. Did you run out of coffee again?"

My chuckle is anything but forced. Like I said, Molly is a ray of sunshine "No, no, I have enough of it. I still need to repay you for that, but er..." I pause, trying to find a proper way to announce I'm a fucking ignorant idiot.

Meanwhile, her eyes swim to Devon who stops crying the moment he makes an eye contact with her. She smiles widely and her arms drop a little "Hello there, little pal!" She looks up at me expectingly "Is he yours?"

God, the way she squeals!

I glance at Devon in my arms, then back at her, smiling awkwardly and nervously "Yeah, I adopted him a few days ago."

Molly's cheeks catch a shade of red and she tips her head, while still holds the door "Really? I think that's very brave, Nathan, and very nice of you. So many children need a safe home and a loving parent and even though you haven't found the one, you didn't give up on having a family. Very admirable."

If I'll ever need any ego-boosts or pep-talks, I'll just stop by her place for a coffee. The way her eyes gleam give away how delighted she is by the news. If I'm correct, that makes her the first one who didn't jump to any weird conclusions and wasn't engrossed with me. Wow, people truly don't believe in me. Wonder why, huh?!

It takes me a moment to come back from her shocking reaction "Thanks, Molly. But what I wanted to talk to you about uhm, it's about - him." When I say the last word, I wiggle with devon's legs, while his torso is safely pressed against my chest.

Molly nods and looks kind of excited "Yeah?"

"Could you... keep an eye on him for today? My babysitter just called-" Liar! "-and bailed" You fucking liar! "...please?" Stupid ass fuck.

Molly's eyes are full of empathy and sympathy. Sadly, pity is there too. "Nathan, Rob and I put children in kindergarten when I returned to work." She looks around, her thoughts running around the place just like her eyes "I used to have a babysitter for kids, but only on rare occasions and I believe she moved to Europe too."

I swallow hard as ideas what to do are shrinking to zero. Molly is one of the nicest neighbours and of those who see me as a person, not as the demon of sex.

"I'm so sorry, Nathan... I wish I could help you. But I bet Inna or Veronica would be up for it." Molly smiles like there is no sin, no war, no global warming, no abusive relationships and no human trafficking in the world.

Honey, if you only knew...

I don't think Molly is aware that anybody who knows me and lives here also hates. Especially Inna and Veronica, but I never gave them much thought. I'd just say to myself 'Haters gonna hate and I'm gonna get laid.' And then I would swing by them proudly with my masculinity. But now, I see why people are so obsessed with everyone liking them or, you know, eliminating their enemies. For instance, if I got rid of Inna or Veronica, maybe a new girl would come by and she'd love to take care of Devon. And me. She'd love to take care of me too.

With a heart as heavy as a ton of iron, I go to talk to Inna, first. Maybe she forgot about the fuss from the past and has moved on. That would be ideal, but nothing is ideal in my life, at least not anymore. There used to be ideal girls, ideal sex, the ideal job, ideal friends, everything was ideal. Now, I have a screaming baby that won't shut up just for the fuck of it.

I knock on Inna's front door and hope for the best. She shows up and when I open my mouth to reason with her, she slams the door in my face. Well... That was to be expected.

I knock again and put more will into it.

Inna opens the door again and passive-aggressively hisses at me "What do you want?!"

"I need your help." I raise Devon a little and state "Could you watch over him?"

She scoffs in disbelief and strikes me with her words "You finally fucked up, huh? Oooh, this is too good!" Inna leans on the doorframe and licks her bottom lip, but not sexually. There is nothing, but evil about her. "Nathan Price, screwing around only to get screwed by getting a kid. Wonder how you're gonna pull it off being a father and a disrespectful whore."

I cover Devon's ears. Maybe it helps, maybe not, but it's worth a shot and once that is done, I bark at her "I didn't know you were getting married, okay?!"

"I had a ring!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, but when a girl nearly sucks me off, I don't expect her to have her loyalty promised to someone else!" And I'm not a whore! I don't deny I like to sleep with women, but I'm not a whore!

She pushes the door open some more and I don't know if it's for her husband to hear it or not. I don't even know if they're still together. "So, you just jump a girl in an elevator, like you're a horny deer or a tiger?"

Debatable.

"I'm just asking you for one simple thing, please do that for me!" I am so close to begging, I feel like I'm going to throw up and the puke will be my pride.

Inna pushes her head forward like she can't believe what she heard "Are you serious?" She rolls her eyes and speaks to herself, though she doesn't mind if I hear it too "You sound so pathetic, Jesus."

Thank you, bitch.

When Inna's eyes fix on me, they also narrow and shrink aggressively "No!"

"Inna-"

And once again I can only see the door. Devon's head bumps my chest when he looks up at me and leans his head back to do so. He's probably weirded out because I'm still holding his ears shut.

I look down at him and shrug "You'd probably have to watch over her anyway."

My last try is Veronica. God, she doesn't exactly send a shiver down my spine, but I am very well aware she doesn't like me. She talks to me, she greets me, but only if that's necessary. This is definitely going to be quite an adventure, but I'm not sure if I'm going to survive it.

Veronica's face is smiling like she's having one of the best mornings, but the smile only lasts until she sees me. That's when her face falls and her eyes roll "Yes, Nathan?"

I try to soften the situation up by apologising for whatever I've done to her "Hi, Veronica... Listen, I know we're kinda not getting along and maybe we had the wrong kind of bumpy start."

"You don't say." She says and by the sound of her voice, I see she's not interested in talking to me.

I hold back some responses because otherwise, she'd never help me out "Yeah, so maybe... maybe we could bond over kids? Start fresh and all that!"

Veronica tries her best to stifle her smile "Aha? Over the kids, you say?"

I nod, giving her my million-dollar smile "Yeah! This guy's mine!"

Her brows dart up to her hairline and her eyes inspect me. She doesn't know whether to believe me or not "You... have a kid?"

"Yeah." I see no point in explaining it wasn't an accident, especially not because all of this is the product of my stupid ideas, so I am definitely not going to let her know about it. Pride may have left me when I spoke to Inna, but, baby, it's growing back and taller than before!

Veronica covers her forehead with her palm and hides her smile behind the elbow. I see it, though. I see it very clearly! "Give me a break, are you serious?"

"Can we talk about bonding?"

"Yes! The bonding!" She exclaims and looks at me in a way people do after they've had a really good laugh. For some reason, I already know how she's gonna react. Either she's gonna laugh some more or cringe herself to infinity.

I can feel it how miserably I'm going to fail. I think I've known that since the moment I mentioned bonding. What was I thinking?! Right, I wasn't! Man, I used to think everything through and now I've become a nervous wreck. Do bad decisions come along with age?

Devon lets out a whining sound. He's been sitting in my arms in the same position for a while, so that's nothing strange. Veronica isn't disturbed by it, she's still persistently and expectingly looking at me, waiting for me 'bonding' idea.

"Here's my idea-" I start only to be interrupted by her.

"What? Really?" The weight of her sarcasm reminds me of a special female I know.

I narrow my eyes at her. Woman, just silently hear me out, for fuck's sake! "Now, we both have kids. You have, what, three of them?"

"Two."

Shit. "Yeah, two! Wasn't that what I said? Well, anyways, I thought maybe Brandon and Cory-"

"Boyd and Colin!"

Nice job, Nate. "Yeah, right. I was close, though!"

Veronica is irritatingly crossing her arms, hissing angrily "That idea better be good, neighbour Price."

I sigh and think about dropping this act. I could just ask her right away and maybe she'd agree. It feels like this bonding is just ruining all my chances.

"Veronica, I just... I need a babysitter, okay? I meant it when I saw I wanted to make things between us right and maybe some days you could watch over my kid and other days I could. It sounds pretty fair, doesn't it?" I ask nicely, not staging humbleness or trying to make her feel sorry for me because Veronica isn't stupid.

Her body language changes as she hears me out. She looks more relaxed and if I'm right, she's even thinking about accepting my proposition. Then all of a sudden, after I've gotten my hopes up, she takes a step forward to the hallway and closes the door to her apartment.

Veronica's palm lands on my shoulder the way mothers tend to their crying children. When she's about to speak, she stops halfway a few times, but at last, she gives me her answer "Okay, Nathan, the fact is... I just don't trust you, especially not with my boys. I feel sorry for Damon, I do."

I interrupt her "His name's Devon."

She smiles devilishly and I can almost hear fate's voice saying 'What goes around comes back around.' "Wasn't that what I said?"

Oh, touche.

"But listen, I don't know what happened that you got a kid, but I honestly hope someone will tag along and give this child to someone more responsible." She continues and gives me a distasteful sideways look. She pats my shoulder and smiles "See you around."

When she thinks she can just leave after calling me a fucking manchild, I stop the door from closing "We aren't finished yet." Man, I always wanted to say that!

Veronica's surprised glare meets mine and by the way, she's currently looking at me, I expect her to scream for help.

I stand closer to her, Devon chewing his sleeve "I've never done anything to you or anyone around here, but you all choose to insult and ignore me or wait for me to fail."

She pushes my hand away from the door, so she can now close it "It doesn't have to be personal, Price. You're a self-absorbed, annoying and complaining whiner who has an opinion for right about everything. You're a very distinctive human being, but sadly not lovable. And I don't want Boyd or Colin anywhere close to becoming like you." Veronica sighs, "I find it hard to respect a man who doesn't want to stop living like a teenager and probably doesn't know what he wants."

I am frozen in my place right where I stand and I wait for her to tell me that's what Inna thinks and not her.

I don't say anything and Veronica shrugs in my way "I'm sorry, but..."

"But what?" I blurt out automatically and when I say it out loud, I actually do sound like an angsty teenager "I ask for help and this is what I get?"

Veronica's face darkens. If there was any sympathy for it before, there is no trace of it on her face anymore "Goodbye, Nathan."

The door closes and I still can't find any power to move. I want to drop everything, fall on my knees, scream in frustration, then lie down and take a nap to forget about Veronica's unimportant opinion. But if it's really that unimportant, why do I care about it so much? She's been my neighbour for a few years and she never had any role in my life, yet here I am stressing over the unimportant opinion of an unimportant woman.

Of course, I care what people think of me, but I've never heard an opinion so sharp. I can't count on my fingers how many times I've been called a jerk and a douchebag or bastard and an asshole. But no one ever called me an annoying, selfish and complaining person.

Do I whine a lot? I don't think so. I'm sorry if I find poop and puke disgusting and I'd rather not touch it. And she ought to speak about being a complainer. People just can't seem to please her. In her opinion, she is perfect and everyone else have no idea how to get work done.

Now I finally understand why people move to another house, apartment, city or state because they can't stand their neighbours.

"Ack, ack."

My eyes follow the sound and soon they meet Devon's curious pupils. We glare at each other like this in the middle of the hallway for some brief minutes, then Devon lifts his arm and puts his palm on my cheek with a loud schlop!

I smile at his gesture, close my eyes and cover his palm with my free hand "At least you love me."

I open my eyes and Devon's cheeks stretch his mouth into a big fat baby smile.

A/N: veyroniqa I know you don't like my character and your honesty was very welcoming. You're officially the first person and the first girl to ever criticise Nathan for his view of the world. I don't mean anything in the wrong way and if you read this, I hope you won't be insulted by anything (I used your name for Nathan's neighbour that dislikes him and bits of your review too) because that's not my main reason for dedicating this to you :)

It took me long enough to write this chapter, huh? I'm so sorry, but I can't stop torturing Nathan, he's such a perfect candidate for my evil plans!

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