Keira's POV

It was sick.

Shri made me do things, to get my body back.

So much pain.

I don't even know anymore.

>Time skip 2 weeks)

I had spent the first 4 days resting and under tight surveillance with the Anbu. The other ten days I spent training.

Tai jutsu with Gai - sensei

Chakra control with an Anbu guard who had offered to help.

Ninjutsu and Genjustu by studying in the library and practicing by my self in the training field.

I honestly had a vast amount of chakra and 60% was available to me after Shri and I's shaky treaty.

I had seen so much of Naruto and Kiba that I wasn't sure what team of theirs I wanted to be on.

Naruto was holding me after my inner battle against my beast. It was only 12 minutes outside since my 'death'.

Inside of my head, I broke the cage with my hand, no idea how though, and I fought Shri mentally. No swords this time, just grit. For the first 17 days she tied me to a post in my weak form and starved me. The next two days she plunged kunai into my legs. Then my arms, hands, feet, stomach. Finding anyway to induce torture without killing me. After day 24 I escaped and she made a deal with me. I accepted and performed 1/2 of the deal for her right there. The other 1/2 was going to be satisfied later on.

It wasn't a deal as much having my body back, although I wanted it, it was protecting my nakama. And maybe, finding away to go home.

>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<

I got dressed in my chain undershirt and loose tee that covered my back, upper arms, and stomach safely.

I sighed, Naruto has been making me live with him to make sure I don't die again. I explained that what happened was just experiment, as Shri told me, but he still didn't listen. I think he just wants someone to make him ramen and do half the work here.

I stepped out and hollered for Nazu to get up and walked to make breakfast in the kitchen. I had only gone to school 3 days in total and today was the day Iruka gets stabbed. I decided on making him a huge breakfast to give him strength and made him a bento. He was going to need it.

He yawned, walking in, scratching hi head lightly and put his chin on my shoulder. It reminded me of how Lion would get up for Sunday pancakes when he spent the night, his mom was busy some nights and wouldn't come home and he hated being alone. He would walk in like Nazu and wrap his little arms around my slim waist and open his mouth, in which I would put a piece of pancake for him to try while I was still cooking. For his first big test in second grade I made him pancakes all the colors of the rainbow, one for each vibrant shade. They were beautiful if I do say so myself.

Naruto shook me out of my pleasant my daydream, literally shook my shoulders and yelled at me. Jeez, he had been so clingy lately. I told him I was ok and lied to him saying Shri was subdued, because in all aspects she could still take my body while I was sleeping, in the horror filled deathly nightmares, but she and I had a deal and I trusted her word. Until she wants to kill me at least.

Naruto was peering in my blank face and saw when I blinked, confused, that I was ok and he smiled goofily.

"So what's the breakfast for?" he asked. I usually never cook breakfast, I am a late sleeper but I wanted to at least start his day good.

"For you, Nazu" I smiled at my rhyme. When I stopped Naruto from glomping Sasuke, I had separated the day Mizari tries to take the scroll and delayed it along the plot line a little. They stopped the genin test until I could return, thanks to the Hokage I was able to perfect the ninjutsu. I felt a little bad for Nazu and his inevitable failing of the test so that was part of the answer. I can't tell him that though, I don't want to screw everything up.

"Why?" he looked at me weirdly. A mix grateful and suspicious. Seriously, I hadn't done anything bad to him, we even went pranking together! Stop being so reluctant! I am your friend so trust me.

"I mean it is not like I am don't want it," he continued, Kami, hate it when he could read my facial expressions.

"It's alright, don't be so scared, I didn't poison your food." I smirked a little at him "I did it because, I WUV WOU NAZU!!!!" I threw my arms around him and looked up, my chin resting on his chest. He had a red tint spreading across his cheeks and nose. I laughed loudly and let go of him, twirling back to my pancakes cooking in a pan.

"So did you want something to...." I got cut off as he put his arms around my waist and turned me around super fast. "Nazu whatcha doin'...?" he pressed his lips chastely against mine and leaned his head back a little, smirking.

Now it was my turn to blush. He tried holding his laughter in but it came out in loud guffaws.

"You! you ---! Why I ought a kill you!!" I screeched, my face got more and more maroon and his laughs got loud enough to start a stampede. I grabbed my bag, turning off the skillet, took a pancake and left Naruto to pick up the mess.

I jogged to where Kiba usually waits for Naruto and I, but mostly for me, he kinda glares and looms at Naruto with envy at the same time. Creeps me out a little actually. I spotted him, with his back to me, in deep thought.

I tiptoed silently to him and put my hands over his eyes "Guess who?" I struggled not to laugh, but giving up and giggled. I could feel him smirk beneath my hands. I wasn't mad at Naruto and forgiven his crazy humor on the way, I just ran out in the heat of my embarrassment for being embarrassed so I was cheerful again.

"Ooh is it, Keira?" I laughed and stuffed half of my pancake in his mouth, making him choke a little.

"Hehe get this man a prize! So whatcha think Kibear? Yummy right?!"

He swallowed and nodded and his eyes widened at a puddle of Popsicle now on the floor.

"My Popsicle. " He looked so dejected, I hugged him tightly.

"I sowwy" I pleaded to him and he looked to me, playfully glaring.

"You owe me 10 yen" he stated, challenging me to deny it.

I smirked. I had a trick for this. My mom told me about it.

I pressed my lips to his cheek and smirked

"There, have a Yankee dime. Now we are even"

I walked on my way to school, smirking and holding my annoying laugh in. Leaving him to blush, knowing that we were even, but wondering what in Kami was a Yankee Dime and how he could get another.

))))))((((((

TIME SKIP - at school before Iruka arrives.

I looked over at my fellow students and realized, none of them know me yet. I spent the minor days here to busy trying to catch up with them and studying.

I have to introduce my self!!!!! YESS!

I smiled inwardly and walked to where Shikamura was complaining about how what a drag the test was.

"Hey, I'm Keira. And the test isn't the drag, the people who fail it are" I smiled and stuck out my hand which he shook amusingly.

"Shikamaru, it's just to trouble some" I laughed and agreed.

"This seat taken?" he shook his head and I sat down.

"What a bother, if Iruka can't come on time, might as well not come at all. " I sighed and Shikamuru snickered.

We made easy friends because of our equal laziness and sarcastic humor.

"I'll see you later 'Maru. " I hugged him lightly. If you haven't noticed I am a huggy kinda person. He turned a little pink and mumbled a goodbye and I went to meet some more peoples.

Sakura. I caught her bubblegum pink hair and smiled. I hated Sasuke and that she liked him onesidely irked me but in shippuden she kicks but.

"Hey, I'm Keira. I love your hair" I smiled pleasantly at her.

"Oh I'm Sakura and thanks! I love yours too!" she smiled pleasantly and we both started talking and playing with each others hair after 10 or so minutes. Iruka stepped in and called the class to attention, preparing the exam and calling roll.

I said here and took a window seat beside Kiba who smiled at my arrival.

Everyone was much nicer to me then I thought they would be. I wish I could stay here........

what about Rin?

I don't know. He will be ok if I left right?

no, he won't be handle losing anymore loved ones. what about miss Sarah?

She can take of Rin. They will move on.

your being selfish. you are sick, thinking only of your own happiness.

Stop it

you don't even care about the people that took you in.

I do. I love them

they saved you

Stop talking

they loved you

No no no no

YOU BETRAYED THEM.

.

.

.

I know.

I was called up. I am dizzy. I focused my chakra to my hands and made the signs. A clone poofed into existence. An exact replica of Iruka.

The real one handed me a head band and I dissipated my clone, heading back to my own seat.

I felt so out of it. Like it was a fake and blurry. This must be what going mad feels like. Iruka called the other kids in my class and they all passed, except for my Nazu. I left directly after the bell avoiding everyone and dashed beside the wall and into the woods.

I was gonna have a panic attack soon. I could feel it coming on. I used to have these every couple weeks or so.

I don't know what stressed me first

Or how the pressure was fed

But I know just what it feels like to have a voice in the back of my head

It's like a face that I hold inside

A face that awakes when I close my eyes

A face watches every time I lie

A face that laughs every time I fall

And watches everything

So I know that when it's time to sink or swim

That the face inside is hearing me

Right underneath my skin

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back

It's like a whirlwind inside of my head

It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within

It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

I know I've got a face in me

Points out all my mistakes to me

You've got a face on the inside too

And your paranoia's probably worse

I don't know what set me off first

But I know what I can't stand

Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is I can't add up like you can.

I cry. The sun goes down. I sink and sleep, only to be greeted by Shri's demonic cackles.

The nightmares.

Killing

My sanity walks away

Blood

Who needed to be sane anyway?

I dream of murder. And lost hopes. It's real there. It's horrible and awful and crazy and angry. Biding its time to chew me down piece by piece.

Somedays they show my the future.

It got worse as I got farther from Him. My scars would ache as much as my heart. He could save me.

But he doesn't.

And I die to save him.

The end is not death.

No, the end comes when they give up.

Death is just a pittance after that.