Man always thinks about the past before he dies, as if he were frantically searching for proof that he truly lived.

I am no different.

My past, once so gory and painful is actually not so bad looking back. Eventually I had people who cared for me, although being thrown worlds away from them was tough, I found others,more that care for me.

I have always been an optimist, maybe that is clouding my judgment here. Maybe it was never real, something could have gone wrong, I could be in a coma or something of the like and its a dream.

I dont think so though, the sharp air stings at me in such a way that it couldn't be fake.

The bitter cold water washing over me is a bit too real, the warm hands dragging me ashore are real too, the strong arms that hold me now are alien yet scream to me that this is the reality I am living.

I don't really like this reality, my chest hurts and I can't breathe, move, I can't do anything.

I don't like the pain, or the pounding in my head. I want to sleep, its warm and frankly, I am comfortable in this unfamiliar hold.

But I hear something, a voice calling, bright yellow hair, a laughing jovial face yelling at me to catch up, waving his arms like a madman.

Do I know him? Stretching my arm out I wish to follow the whiskered boy as more people gather.

Their is a pretty pink haired girl giggling and standing next to a navy haired boy, who snickered at me smiling and blushing ever so slightly. A tall white haired man, masked by half his face had his arms around all three of them and was laughing with a close eyed smile.

I want to go with them, I feel it, somewhere I know them, the blond ones smile sends fluttering in my stomach, they all look so happy and I yearn to know them, experience their joy.

But as soon as I can almost reach them, a frigid hand clamps on my ankle.

Looking down, I see a man, he is frowning wickedly and has eyes like mine. He pulls a whip out and wraps it around my arm. I struggle, feverently trying to reach thembut he is so heavy and he hurts to pull.

Another hand makes home around my opposite ankle, a crying woman, she has the same face as me and she kept sobbing. Soon she throws bandages around my waist and pulls me harder.

I start to scream, they hurt and tire me but o haven't reached my friends yet, I have to keep moving!

Soon, a warm presence touches my back, a little girl clutches to my back, I gasp at the familiar face, its me.

She is crying and screaming and yanking on me, pulling me to a stop. She sobs at the 4 figures starting to turn and walk away in a lax fashion.

My heart aches but these chains of people are to heavy to carry, I don't want their burden anymore. I fall down and struggle to place my hands on my ears to block out the noise, I just want them gone, they are to heavy, I can't support myself any more.

'I can take them away for you, the chains' its a different little me, she is no longer crying but wears a soft cream dress that didn't fit the other wailing child that clung to me.

'I can take them away, just take my hand and they can't weigh you down' I can't chose, I know they are important for some reason but I can't think rationally with all this noise.

I grab the child's hand and she smiles so sadly. 'There is such a price but as promised, they are lifted from you'

I smile as the heavy weight disappears and I can stand, they aren't here anymore.

She floats up as I smile happily up at her, silent tears fall from her delicate white skin as I fill with such a child-like mirth. Sinking in front of me she wails to me 'I am so sorry, but it was your choice, it has always been your choice ' I stop grinning 'I can't blame you, weakness is natural, but you made a decision you can no longer revoke, and for you, us, I am so very sorry' she touches my head.

I tumble.

Water Lapps at my feet again.

My eyes flutter open like the wings of a weakened butterfly.

He grins at me and I look confused back at the unfamiliar face.

"Keira, you don't know how glad I am that you're awake. I thought I lost you!" Lovely dark blue eyes fill with water and black bangs cover his eyes as the boy looks down.

I touch his cheeks and he looks back up startled.

"Ke-ira" I roll the word on my tongue, so familiar but I don't know it.

I pause, what do I know?

"Why do you cry? Who is Keira?" I look up at him, as my head laid in his lap.

"W-what? Keira tell me your joking here?" My face didn't change and I simply blinked.

"Oh no. Oh no oh god, Kami what have I done!??" More tears streamed down his face and I sat up looking at him as he looked at me with such guilty and sorrowful eyes.

He held his head in his hands, "that jump, I knew I couldn't do it, oh god, what have I done" I lay my hands on his and turn my head.

"Who is Keira?" He looks so sad, this Keira must have been bad to have done such a thing to him

"You, you are...." He stops and bites his lip, obviously withholding tears.

"I am...what? Who am I, did you know me?" Every word seems to slash him like a knife.

"You are Keira, I -I messed up a-and" he hiccups and I touch his face again.

"I am Keira?" He nods his head weakly and I blink. I am Keira. Keira is me. Why does this feel so foreign, if we are one, then why do I feel like this, like I don't want to be her?

I look at him and he starts to sob again, crying and crying.

What are you supposed to do when people cry? Pat them? Hold them?

I chose the latter and crawled beside him, gently wrapping my arms around his waist.

He flinches but seems to welcome the comfort and soon pulls me into his lap and cradles me, as if I was the one who was crying.

"Mister, who are you?" This only seems to make him pull my closer and cry harder so I just sit for a while, letting my arms hang loosely on his.

We stay like this for a while, long after he stopped crying, its not uncomfortable though.

I try and peer into my mind to find something, anything but it was empty, a vacant home in which nothing resided in.

I don't know him, why we are in such a dimly lit cavern, why my mind and body hurts and aches, what I was doing here, I only knew one thing.

There was something, maybe someone I had to find. A flash of yellow, determination, streaks of red, a small dog, pink and health, a drop of navy and revenge, white slashes of lightning, my head aches, I feel like a bomb i s gonna rip my brain apart any second.

I don't know what they are, what they mean, but I have to find them, a fire lit inside my heart flickers and shines at that. I can't let them fade, its hard enough to get ahold of anything I may have known and I won't let them slip through my fingers.

I will find it, I will solve this, I will known who I am.