" I returned from Vansipur with the heaviest heart possible.

I am actually a meek individual. My love for her had driven me, all this time.

But, her being in a prostitute circle... as if at once broke every single web of a dream life with her, I had wound.... 

The landlord knew nothing more, all he said was I could search for her if I really wanted to, in the Gunti Nagar area of Lucknow. Rest, he knew nothing about her father and her sister....

I honestly didn't have the courage, once I returned, to keep the search on.

Days passed... wondering why I was alive even, if I couldn't help the 'one love' of my life, from...dying in hell...... 

Maa didn't realise what went wrong with me suddenly, that led me drown in an unending darkness with every passing day. 

In the meantime, being the good student I was, I cracked banking exams even while running through such inner turmoils... 

Everyone else seemed happy with my life, except myself. And maa would time and again question if everything was alright.
I couldn't tell her, because, somewhere a faint hope of finding Soudamini remained, and I didn't want anyone to know of her past if I could ever bring her....home.... "

Abhijeet choked once again. He cupped his face with his hands. And stayed that way for a long time.

Her earrings and anklets tinkled, her gajra smelled more intense.

" And hence your search for her ended.....right? " , she asked, her voice deeper.

Abhijeet immediately looked up.
" No. No, it didn't.

I.... I joined a job. And with each passing day, with hard earned money in hand, my desperation to find her, returned, and only went on increasing.

Forgetting my meek self, leaving behind everything, I went to Gunti Nagar. In search of Soudamini.

The place choked me. Women there, horrified me.

Could that even be a way of a living? How could someone smile... and pull 'customers' in, even after enduring such immense pain?

I ran out, gagging and burning within.
No one there led me to Soudamini. Either they didn't know, or they weren't interested... "

" You cannot find someone by their previous names once in the circle, darling! 

It's like a new birth. You are not allowed to nurture and carry along, your past. " , she was playing with her anklet.

Abhijeet kept staring at her, intently.
A sudden desire struck him.

"I want to see your face. You seem so.....different... " , he said abruptly.

She looked up, at him.

" Finish the story first. It's a long night. There's time for business. When we'll come closer, you'll get to see everything you need. "

Abhijeet looked away.

They'd never come closer.

Solace, was in letting the heart out. Only. Not in someone else's arms.

Never....could be......

" At my workplace, I met a girl who was new to the job as well. 

Sunita Malhotra.

She sat next to me, and through general talks we discovered that her father was my father's boss at the rails. And that, they used to share good rapport during their joblife.

Sunita is a good human as well, she insisted upon meeting my parents. So did they when I told of her.

They met, and then did her parents. Slowly the connections grew stronger within the families.
Sunita talked a lot to me, but being the withdrawn self I am, I couldn't even seek her help as a friend for the biggest search of my life.

In the meantime, I kept my search on, in several other red light areas of Lucknow, without anyone's knowlege.

In vain. "

Abhijeet desperately needed water again.

She held a glass in front of him.

" How did you...... " , Abhijeet was completely taken aback by this mysterious woman's instincts, with every passing second.

" Then? "
She shifted away and sat hugging her knees.

Abhijeet cleared his throat and kept the glass on the floor.

" Time flew.

And then, a drastic thing happened. Two months back.

One of our colleagues fell ill, and I went to meet him at a govt. hospital.

As I was returning through the wards, my eyes suddenly fell on a known face.

A very known face.

With a lean body and a broken appearance, Rajesh uncle lay on a bed.

Soudamini and Juhi's father..... 

My head twirled, my legs felt weak.

Somehow balancing myself, I went over to his bed.

He seemed to be sleeping.

A woman, around fifty, sat on a stool beside him.
Staring at me anxiously.  "

Silence, again.

" From her, I came to know of more disastrous happenstances. I knew I could no longer stand the upheavals of my life this way, one after the other...

She told, Soudamini was 'purchased' by a broker at Samanth Nagar. Her sister Juhi who was a kid then, was spared. But could that be for long?

Soudamini, the fourteen year old kid then, had to grow up much before her age.

The broker, a lady herself, might have felt bad for her, and helped her find a dwelling for her paralysed baba and sister in Lucknow.

The woman who sat next to Rajesh uncle now, happened to be their landlady in Lucknow. She knew after many days, that the elder kid, after settling everything,  starting from her father's treatment, to her sister's schoolings, along with a stout henchman kind of a person, was taken into a prostitute circle at the end of the day..... "

Abhijeet was now sobbing vehemently with hiccups.

The lady beside, didn't even breathe. The only thing she did was stare at him, intently.

Abhijeet controlled his sobs, and spoke again,
" It was from the woman, I came to know, years later, when Juhi was on the verge of finishing her graduations, Rajesh uncle fell severely ill once again.

Despite Soudamini's repeated warnings of never going to meet her at Samanth Nagar, Juhi ran to her. With the news.

The broker by then had changed. A man now, whose eyes didn't escape the beautiful Juhi, despite the sisters' meeting that happened quite away from the area.... 

Days to this, Soudamini was shifted elsewhere, from Samanth Nagar.
And months later, Juhi was picked up from home by three stout henchmen under the instructions of the new broker.

She had just finished......her graduations. "

Abhijeet stopped speaking.
The pain that rose in his heart, bundled up in his throat, burnt his eyes and flowed down his chin.

All he could feel, was a cold hand slowly placed on his.

Through eyes blurred with tears, he looked at her.
She seemed to be his last resort....at the end of the day.....at the end of everything........

In an almost inaudible tone, she said,
" Then? "

To be continued....

(there's nothing called Gunti Nagar don't beat me 😂😂 )