" She was my childhood friend.

Not just a friend. My confidant. My guide. "

Abhijeet's voice cracked.

" She....

You mean the one who has been judging you since morning? " , her bangles tinkled as she shoved.

Abhijeet sat silently for sometime.
Then murmured,
" I hate darkness. "

He knew she was smirking again, but didn't say a thing.

He spoke again,

" We resided in the outskirts of the city then. My father was in the rails, and he had a transferable job. I was six when we had shifted to the outskirts, Vansipur.

She resided next to us. Not in the quarters, but in a small hut just outside the boundaries. With her little sister, and father. She too was almost six then. "

His eyes had accommodated to the dim red light, much now. He looked up to see, she had placed her chin on her knees and was staring at him. Her face was still unclear though.

He looked down again.

" Soudamini. As beautiful her name, was she.
The little girl with flowers tucked in her pony tail, would stare at me and smile, each time I sat at the balcony of our quarter, playing cars, and she played hopscotch in the road below with her baby sister.

One day, she beckoned me to play with her, and I ran down snatching permission from maa.

This marked the beginning of a beautiful friendship.... 

Neither did we go to the same schools, nor did she attend any of the extra curriculars I did. But, the hopscotch every evening connected our strings beyond any difference in status....

Her father was a daily wedge worker. He would pull chips and bricks at construction sites. He was a very jolly human as well, and I slowly got tangled to their entire family, at that baby age... 

Maa and baba didn't mind too. They were rather happy... that the shy boy, who couldn't make much friends at schools, was so interested in spending every evening with a bubbly baby girl, with flowers tucked in her pony tail.... "

Silence, once again...

She let out a sigh.
" Then? "

" Vansipur must have been my father's longest stay while in job. We stayed there for ten long years....

Soudamini turned almost everything to me, as we grew up together. Much more than.....just friends.

I couldn't imagine life without her, even at the age of twelve - thirteen...

Heart didn't really recognise love at such a tender age, but it did begin thumping louder with Soudamini clutching my hands.....

But fate had something else written on the runs.

During the eighth year of our stay in Vansipur, I lost her. "

Abhijeet choked, once again.

" Lost her? Did she die? " , she spoke after long, trying to judge Abhijeet.

Abhijeet lay down again, with his hand below the head. He stared at the silent fan that made rounds in the ceiling.

" When she was fourteen, her sister ten, her father had a cerebral attack, that crippled him.. Completely.

Thus cutting off their only source of income.

How much had I begged to my baba, to help them financially till she grew up to earn for herself. But, carrying the burden of three humans wasn't feasible for him as well, I realised.

One day, when we were fourteen, she had clutched my hands, and with tear beads forming in her eyes, said,

' Abhi, we need to leave. The owner of this hut is a good human. He payed for our ration and let us stay for two months. But he too has been caught in issues. My studies have ruined already, if I don't begin working now, baba and Juhi will die starving.

I have got a job, with good earnings. We are leaving Vansipur, for the city tomorrow. ' 

Though I died inside at the thought of losing her, I knew how helpless I was, I couldn't hold her back, by any chance. Because I could do nothing to fill their stomach...

I wondered though, what job she had got at that age which could pay her in good.

A little idiot me, had hardly an idea of the ways of the world then.......

I lost Soudamini, that way, that day....forever.....  "

Abhijeet sat up. The tears streaming down his eyes were drenching his cheeks and neck.

He looked at her.
And almost sprang up.
The place was empty.

Where did she go?? 

" I'm here. "

Abhijeet immediately turned to see, she was pouring water in a glass, some distance away.

When did she reach there? 

She came forward.

" You need this, again. "

" I do. " , he gulped in the water once again.

" Who could know what you need, better than me? " , she walked away again.

Abhijeet sat still.

Unable to comprehend her words. Not even trying to.

" Then? "

Abhijeet was beyond startled once more, at how she sat beside him the next moment, without even a trace of her arrival.

Nevertheless, he spoke,

" We shifted to the city of Lucknow owing to my father's transfer again, two years to her disappearance from my life.

I grew extremely withdrawn and drowned myself only in studies. I had no friends, I made none. I had decided, when I would grow up and stand on my feet, I would look for Soudamini, find her....and marry her.

Only her.

Her departure from my life, and the slow maturation of my heart ...made me realise, I had loved her. A lot. But hadn't fulfilled the duty of being a lover, because I had been tested at an early age, that had left me no option than to let her go.

Days passed, I grew up, finished schooling, finished graduations.
Baba retired from job. And Lucknow became our permanent residence.

My search for Soudamini began after that. Without a photo of her, with just a memory of a fourteen year old face.

I returned to Vansipur. Without Maa and Baba's knowlege.

I met the landlord she had talked about before leaving.

The man at first, didn't want to say a thing.

But seeing me desperate enough, he gave in at the end.

I came to know,
Soudamini had willfully thrown herself into a......a...prostitute circle, at the age of fourteen....  "

Abhijeet was now sobbing, he had hiccups.

No one talked, for a long time.

At the end of which, she spoke,

" When there's no one to stop you from doing a thing, does it still remain a wilful affair, darling? "

Abhijeet slowly raised his head. And stared at her.

In the dimness of the room too, her eyes seemed to be burning.

Abhijeet kept staring, as if hypnotized.

She talked after sometime, completely calm again.

" And her sister? "

To be continued....