#SAT9S

DEDICATED TO : KRIS RAFANAN

(Note : Don't mind my errors.)

LAST CHAPTER : SHINN ACE ASLEJO

"May I come with you?"

Anne looked confuse by my question. She was planning to go back to Phil and stay there for good. She graduated in Stanford years ago and now practicing pediatric field of Med. I, on the other hand, was taking the last requirement course on neurosurgery.

We remained friends and it's easy to kept in touch with her. We're still living in same circle, some of her friends are also connected to me, not to mention, her family is on the same line of business. I've met the Martins personally and they negotiate well. They are bunch of classy socialites and probably living on the same level of standard as the Aslejos. That lifestyle was nice and good enough to keep me yawning everyday, keeping me in constant of feeling of boredom.

I guess I'm also done with this kind of life. That's just a matter of luxury, anything which can be dealt by money. I may sound like a hypocrite who did not enjoy what wealth have been offering but honesty was never lost on me. I want to get away from here. This is already noxious.

It bounced back, huh? Should never underestimate the irony of life. I still remember the times that I'd been boasting about power, my obsession with freedom, the greediness that I naturally have, and many more things that concealed the true essence of living. I thought I already know what I want. How come I feel incomplete and lost these past few days? I inhaled deeply. I've been keeping these thoughts for quite a long time now. I've been wasting a great time on thinking. I couldn't believe that it has been a year. . .

I've been restless since I came back. I couldn't stay in one place. I was studying in Cambridge but I traveled from time to time, trying to find a place that I could call home. Yet, there was none.

It took me months before I bothered to visit Anne in California. We talked about a lot of things, about my awesome-but-fucked-up life, my unnecessary getaways, and about the things happened in Phil that forces me to go back here. Then, I realized that some things weren't on its rightful place and I've already lost my insights. The fucking situation that you have plenty of choices and I can't pick even one. Here I am, relying on my instincts and tolerating my impulsive side once again.

"You sure about that?" Anne sounds unconvinced. "I thought you want to cool down."

"I think a year is enough." I answered.

Anne focused her gaze on me for seconds, then she shrugged. "Baka hindi na ako bumalik."

I sighed. "I'll think about that."

Her grew wider. "You're kidding, right?"

"I've never been this serious in my entire life." I grinned. Trying to ease the tension in the air. I know she felt it, too, while I'm trying to be bleak as I hold my emotions,

"Why?" Confusion and worry laced on her gentle tone. "You're life is here. You've been living here since birth and-"

"And that doesn't mean I would live here forever."

"Then, why do you want to go back? Is it about Rhea?"

I didn't answer her. It's a no. I wasn't being denial, or maybe I was. I don't fucking care anymore. I'm not sure if she still remembers me. After what happened, I hope she prefers to forget for the peace of my conscience.

"Are you cool with her?"

"The right question is 'is she cool with me.'" I said drily.

"Of course." Anne stated undoubtedly which made frowned.

"How did you know?"

She rolled her eyes on me. "We still communicate. Ikaw lang naman ang tumigil sa pagtawag sa kanya. And have you become in an idiot? Do you think Rhea would have a heart to ignore you like the way you managed to forget her-"

"Hey, I didn't. That accusatory-"

"But you wanted, you've tried it and you're still trying. Where did your braincells go? You even call yourself a genius." She crossed her arms. "Well, you are. But you've been acting like a brat for a year. Grow up. Ang gusto mo pa ata ay si Rhea ang mag-initiate na kumustahin ka. Remember, Shinn, ikaw ang may atraso sa kanya. Have you lost your guts?"

Sometimes, I regret that I've let her get into me. Anne could be nosy in certain times, just like today.

"I did not, Anne. Why are you suddenly being grumpy?" Oh, women. Such a pain in the neck.

"She's your friend, right? A dear one. Tinapon mo na lang ba lahat ng pakialam mo sa kanya?"

That's another 'no.' Let's just say that I had my share of mistakes. I cared and I guess, I've cared too much that I ended up hurting her, too. That scene on the beach. . .damn, it was sickening. That was the first time I've seen a girl down on her knees, begging in front of me. It wasn't wrong to show my concern as her friend but it was wrong to go that far. That was when I realized how callous and heartless I had been. The realizations comes late. My desire to destroy the man who puts her on state of depression destroys her, too. How fucking worse am I?

My guts had escaped me that time. I couldn't even call her brothers. Even at the last seconds that I had, I didn't confess what I've done. I had to wait for a few days before I gained the strength to face her again. I went straight to their house.

"Shinn. . ." She looked surprise that I showed up. I couldn't help but stare at her face. She doesn't look depress, but she doesn't look fine either. I wanted to ask but I hold it. We have more important things to discuss.

"I'm here to apologize for what happened last time." My throat had dried. I was out of words for a few seconds. I closed my eyes.

"I don't regret anything." Or maybe I regret everything. I just couldn't admit it to her or to anyone. Worse sad effects of being too proud of one self. I closed my eyes in disgust.

"But I didn't mean to make you cry. After what happened in the island, I felt like I was the biggest asshole that could destroy you in a glimpse when my only intention is to protect you from him. I knew from the very beginning that I'm no good as a friend but I was caught off guard and I totally forgot to protect you from myself."

I was pacing the floor and couldn't look at her. Damn it. I am far from being like this. I hate too much drama but the fucking drama inserted itself in my life and give me a taste of its vengeance. How great is that? I'm just a little grateful that I didn't lose all the humor.

"It's okay, Shinn. I forgive you. Okay na ako." I looked back at her and she was smiling. A fake one. I sighed. There was nothing I could do about that. In the first place, I had my own faults. I was the one who convince her to go back, remember? And it's too late to regret for that. "You should go back to US."

I stiffened. I felt like I was being rejected. But the idea sinks thoroughly in my mind. I got her point. It's for the good, I guess. So, I nod in agreement. I have to stay away from her before I lost my mind. I might do worse. She must be really worried because she knew what I'm capable of. "Staying here is a bad idea."

"But I'm grateful." Again, I froze. She was grateful after what putting her on- Oh, I don't want to think about it. I closed my eyes as say the words, the word which rarely comes out of my lips.

"I'm really, really sorry." I whispered. She deserves it, she deserves more than my apology but as of that day, that was the best thing I could say.

I remembered my conversation with Ryan on the phone months before Rhea go back to Phil. He warned me but I got used on being stubborn, plus the fact that I never really listened to anyone.

'Alam kong hindi ka makikinig sa akin kung ayaw mo talaga. Kilala kita pero umaasa ako na hindi ka gagawa ng bagay na masmakakapagpasakit sa damdamin ng kapatid ko. Sana hindi ka magpadala sa galit. . .'

And it just happened.

"Shinn?" Anne snapped.

"Just let me come with you and our conversation is done." That was my final say.

So, I went back with her with no back-up plans. Anne had given me a piece of her mind but just like the old times, I was too lazy to listen. I couldn't answer how long I am going to stay and had no insights of what will happen next, no plans of what I am going to do. In short, I have no idea. In other words, I'm fucked-up again. I guess the best thing to do right now is go with the fucking flow.

"Anne! Shinn!"

I stopped on my track as I heard that familiar. The next thing that I saw, Rhea was already running towards us. She jumped on me and I almost stumble on the floor. I got stunned and Anne was laughing beside me.

"I miss you, Shinn." That was it. Just one overwhelming greeting and I've forgotten all about the past. I wonder if I was the only who had a hard time getting over it.

My arms wrapped around her waist and lift her up on the ground. "I miss you, too, feisty."

My eyes went to the man behind her. I loosen my grip and put her down. She went to Anne and hug her best friend while I was having an intense eye to eye contact with Coby Ramirez. The man smiled.

"Welcome back." He greeted and offered his hands. I was puzzled by his presence. After a few minutes, I got the answer. He's now Rhea's fiancee.

Thoughts rumbles inside my head but I kept it to myself. I just came back and intriguing them was not convenient. Everything goes back to normal after our first meeting. Later on, I've got the news. The three assholes got back months ago and decided to work here instead of living afar from each other. The Marvals are one tight family. I got a chance to bond with them again.

"Kailan ang balik mo sa US?" That was Rex.

"Oh, come on. Ang tanong dapat dyan ay kung babalik pa siya sa America." Ryan chuckled.

"You'll gonna stay here?" Roy asked flatly. Damn. The asshole didn't change. Still the same human stone with less facial expression. Not to mention, I easily get disgusted by his presence. Never too old for sarcasm.

I didn't answer them and just shrugged my shoulders. I turned to Rhea who has laughing merrily with her father. Beside her is her fiancee who's laughing with her.

"We feel what you feel." Rex gave me a glass of wine. I divert my attention to the sky and gave up a long sigh.

"Really?" I wonder if we all have the same thoughts. "What happened to her ex? Where is that asshole?"

"Studying abroad."

"He left her again, huh?"

"Can't force someone to stay even for my sister's sake. I believe also deserves some space." He said drily.

"You still have a soft spot for your sister's ex? That's so kind of you." I said caustically.

"No need to be sarcastic here. Ren wouldn't hurt her intentionally. We trusted him-"

"And still trusting him after what he'd done? You're sick, Rex."

"He deserved some credits, you know. We owe him big time even before it happened. I believed he truly loved my sister. We're just blinded by anger and we didn't realize sooner that we, too, have our own faults. Mahirap nga lang kalimutan ang mga nangyari." He paused. "My sister is in good hands now. Though, we can't help it. Hindi talaga namin magawang ipagkatiwala agad siya sa iba kahit pa mabuting tao si Coby. Minsan sumusobra talaga ang protective instincts naming magkakapatid and we can't help to go beyond the limit."

"She's engaged."

"Yeah. Another reason why my father is being paranoid these days. He doesn't want to lost her, you know." Rex shook his head. "And he really likes Ren for my sister. He'd seen them grown and fall apart."

"He wants them back together?"

"You can say that." Rex nod. "But still, he doesn't have a say on Coby and Rhea's relationship. For him, masmahalaga pa rin na nakikita niyang masaya ang kapatid ko. Sapat na 'yon para hindi ipagpilitan si Ren."

When I was in States, I already assumed that Rhea and Ren went back together. I never had any idea how Coby was able to proposed on her when she was so vulnerable with Ren. Is that the reason why she accepted her proposal? But seeing them together creates another good impression. It was like they were having a fresh start.

I stopped thinking about it. Who am I to interfere? I got my lesson. It affects me, yes, just like her brothers, but Rex is right. At the end of the day, the thing which matters the most is Rhea's happiness and we don't have the rights to dictate what she should do.

I stayed in the country. I never had plans of staying longer but I did. I managed my business abroad through computers. I sell a part of my shares. The board wants me back but I declined. My brothers are hunting me for a different reason. The world got busy looking for me and I gave them a hard time for real. I don't want to be found.

Then, I became a licensed doctor. I worked hand in hand with the Martins (who keeps on throwing me to their heiress.) Oh, come on. Anne and I are good friends and had I become interested on their offer, I would easily take advantage. But no, I got no hots for a dear friend.

As much as I wanted to give up my kind of living, it was already tattooed on my skin. With no party, booze, and girls, I think I would die. So, I live that way with a better perspective in life. I kept in touch with the Marvals. Two of them got married in consecutive years. I got a good time teasing them and the same time, the envy scattered on my system. Lucky bastards.

"You know what? I've never felt so lucky 'til the day I was set to marry." Said by one of them.

I can't be sure if I'm ready for marriage but for the past four years, my crave for freedom  was not as intense as before. I don't if it's a good thing, though. I hope it is. I'm not getting any younger and getting tired of my nightly routines. Different bed and different women. If ever I stick to someone and stay loyal like a fucking dog, I wonder what it would feel like.

"That would be hilarious." I commented on my own thoughts.

I was updated to Rhea's life but I tried so hard not to interfere. That was a hard one. Keeping all the concern to myself. Sometimes, we talked and she lets me know what she feels. And I'm just there to listen. I don't talk too much. As much as possible, I don't want to influence her by my not-so-good-to-hear opinions. I no longer trust myself when it comes to advise, especially when she's the one
I'm talking to. I won't dare. Not again.

I was invited on her wedding. That was a bad timing because I have an operation in the morning. Then, she called me.

"Hindi pa ba nagsisimula ang kasal mo?" I asked.

"I still have twenty minutes before I leave our house. Ikaw? How's the operation?"

"Kalalabas ko lang ng operating room."

"So, makakapunta ka pa rin?"

I sighed. I can't leave my patient right away. "I'm sorry, feisty. My patient is under observation. Hindi ako makakaalis agad-agad."

"I see. Sayang naman." I could sense her disappointment.

"Huwag mong iparinig sa akin na nanghihinayang ka. Baka magbago ang isip ko." I laughed. To be honest, I'm also disappointed.

"Seriously, Shinn. Kailangan pa ba kitang piliting pumunta?"

"I'm serious. Kung pwede ako, kanina pa ako nasa simbahan. Why would I miss your wedding?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm very sorry. Don't worry. Napadala ko naman kay Anne yung regalo ko. Iyon ang una niyong buksan." I grinned. Those gifts. She would love it. She would slap it in my face once we met again. Those are sex lubricants, condoms and sexy negligees. I tried so hard not to laugh.

"I don't trust you when it comes to gifts." Then, I burst out laughing. She knows me well, eh?

"Ouch." I cleared my throat as I tried to be serious. "How are you feeling?"

"Mixed."

"Uh-uh. I'll take it as good. Nervous?"

"Sobra." She sighed.

"Where's the thrill if there's no jittery feeling?" I paused. "Can you send me a pic of yourself?"

"Are you thinking something naughty?"

I chuckled. "What? That's just you and your sewer mind. Come on. Send me something. I just want to see how you look."

"Fine. After this call. Hindi ka talaga makakapunta?"

"Can't make it." That's final,

"Okay. Sandali lang kami sa reception. Babati lang tapos aalis na rin agad. Pero kung makakahabol ka pa, we might stay longer."

"I still can't make it, feisty. I'm really, really sorry." That line sounds familiar. The call ended, minutes later, she sent me the photos. Her, wearing her wedding dress with the big smile on her face and no sign of loneliness, I felt relieve. I finally convinced myself that there's nothing to worry. She chose her path, as well as her own happiness, and I was left no say about that.

Months later, I got invited by another wedding. A rush wedding somewhere in Antipolo. It's Anne's. Hers was another fucked-up love story, but has a happy ending. It's the thing about love, you don't measure happiness on what people might be thinking. It's within one self. No matter how I desperately want to go against it, it's not my story to judge. Seeing them happy with their partners lessened my doubts. It automatically shuts me up.

That was where I met Rhea again. It has been months since her wedding. I was grinning at her while she's glaring at me. When she got close, she pinched my arm and I winced.

"That hurts!" I was about to hug her but she pinched me again. "Aww, damn!"

"What's with your gifts!" Her face flushed and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I already explained, right? I phoned you." I smile wickedly. "Did you use it?"

"Nakakainis ka, alam mo 'yon?"

I stared at her with so much adoration, but I frowned when I notice something. "Tumataba? Mukhang nasarapan ka sa honeymoon niyo, ah?"

She pouts. "Well. . ."

"I wouldn't be surprised if you're pregnant by now. . ." I don't how the words slip out of my tongue. Oh, well, that's a big possibility. They'd been out for months.

She was trying to hide her smile and my lips parted in wonderment. "Are you?"

Her smile finally showed up as she nods. "What the fuck?" I said in astonishment.

She pinched me again. Her eyes widened. "Shinn! Bibig mo!"

"Alam na ba ng asawa mo?"

"I-I was about to tell him. Dapat kanina kaya lang nakatanggap ako ng text na ikakasal si Anne kaya pinagpaliban ko muna. Baka kasi hindi siya pumayag na bumyahe kami kapag nalaman niya agad."

I'm speechless. I kept on staring at her. I don't know what to say. I cleared my throat and smile at her. "I'm happy for you. Magkakaanak na kayo."

"Yeah. Ang saya-saya ko rin nung nalaman ko. Humahanap lang talaga ako ng tyempo bago ipaalam sa iba. Ikaw palang kasi nasasabihan ko, eh." She chuckled while I got immobilized again by what she said. I was the first one who knew her pregnancy. Somehow, it spread warmness inside me. "Kukunin kitang ninong. You missed my wedding. Bawal ka na mawala sa binyag, ah?"

"Of course." I feel lightened. She includes me in her life even after her marriage. That's a nice thing, isn't it? "Kung gusto mo ako pag magpaanak sa'yo."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't fool me. You're a neurosurgeon, not an OB-GYN."

"May I name your baby?"

Rhea smiled cheekily. "If my husband permits."

"Where is he?" I asked.

Oh, well. I don't think I will get the privilege of naming her child. Let's not make it a big deal. Soon, I'll have mine with my own woman. I smiled at the thought. I got a good time talking with Rhea and I almost forgot that I went here with someone.

"Shinn. . ." I turned and I saw who I was pertaining to.