#SAT9S

DEDICATED TO : Angelica Verbo Lodevico

CHAPTER 56 : STRANGER

Further questions is uncalled-for. It would only add confusion. I refuse to know it myself. I may have loved her as a sister, or more than what I could offer to a friend. I leave it as a mystery, maybe because I'm a sucker for thrill. At first, I constrained that unusual feeling but in the end, I found out that it wasn't tolerable. I tried to resist and I failed for a few times. I remembered our escapes. Days that I indulge her caprices because I wanted her to decide on her own after a temporary freedom and lure. Ironically, at the end of our escape, I was the one who couldn't make a firm decision.

Three months after, I went back to New Zealand for business. Along with it was the excitement to see her again. That woman must be a witch who secretly made a potion to put me on state of great enticement. Minsan, iniisip ko kung bakit ganito kalala ang epekto niya sa akin.

"Napapadalas ata ang pagpunta mo sa NZ?" I was talking to Rex over the phone. He was on the countryside that time, working on his new project. Tinawagan ko siya ipaalam na nasa New Zealand ako.

"I thought you're in the city. Who's with Rhea by the way? Your father?" I asked.

"Bumalik na si Papa sa Pilipinas."

A frown started to form on my forehead. Iniwan nila si Rhea na mag-isa? "So, your sister is alone?"

Rex gave up a long sigh. "Yes. Akala ko alam mo. Di ba nag-uusap naman kayo ng kapatid ko? I thought she's getting closer to you?"

"What made you think that way?"

"A hunch."

I smirked. "I don't believe you, asshole." Sinabi siguro ni Ryan 'to sa kay Rex.

"Madalas ka niyang nakakausap, di ba?"

I didn't confirm it because I don't think  a 'twice-in-a-week' call was frequent. It should be 'everyday.' Our conversations weren't that long either. We just throw a simple greeting and usual questions, then end of the call. Very common. Was checking her out a bad idea?

"Is she done with her exam?"

"Sa susunod na araw pa."

Great timing.

"Hindi mo ba pinaalam sa kanya na nasa NZ ka ngayon?"

"I'll call her later."

"Ano nga palang aasikasuhin mo rito?"

"Same duties. Business, as usual."

"Are you planning to visit, Rhea?"

"Yeah, after her exams."

"She'll be surprise."

"That's the goal."

"Are you planning something? Parang hindi maganda ang kutob ko sa pagbisita mo ngayon."

I chuckled. "Paranoia can cause heart attack. Calm down, asshole. I don't have plans."

"Hindi ako naniniwala sayo. May balak ka bang ligawan ang kapatid ko?" His tone laced with a warning.

I smirked on his conclusion. "I just want you to know I don't do courtings. That's a bull."

"Yeah. Because you're a shameless flirt." He said drily. Then, he became serious. "Come on, Shinn. Spare my sister from your hook." That was a straight forward plea from Rex.

Rex may sound euphonious but I know for a fact that under his words was a grave threat. Ryan gave me the same warning, but I shrug it off. Si Roy na lang ang hindi nagbibigay ng opinyon. Hindi ako umaasang kakausapin niya ako tungkol kay Rhea dahil madalas ay wala siyang pakialam.

I wasn't doing anything wrong. . . yet. Besides, that was just normal after the incident. Rhea is their only sister and they know that I'm no good when it comes to girls. Can't blame them, though.  They've witnessed my wild escapades. Hindi naman ako nangako sa kanilang titigil ako sa mga nakasanayan kong gawin.

However, I automatically exclude Rhea from the rest of the girls I've met. I couldn't tell her brothers because they would surely shriek in disbelief. She's not the 'hook-up' type and definitely can't play the same game that I usually deal with. I know that she's special but I didn't want to know how 'special' she can be. The admission is enough. Digging deeper might kill me.

But damn it, I like her being fierce. I miss our escapes. I wanna see more of her dark sides. I wanna know all her secrets. She's like a part of celestial bodies and I'm the astronaut who's madly searching for a new world of discovery. I already knew some of her secrets but I'm certain that she keeps a few more. Hindi ako nakikialam sa problema ng iba pero pagdating sa kanya ay gusto kong alamin ang lahat.

I waited three days for Rex's confirmation. Her exam was already done. I called her after.

"Who's this?" A mellow voice answers the line. Oh, I don't want that. I still prefer the angry and pissed tone of hers. It was more thrilling.

"How's your exam, feisty?"

"Shinn?"

"Hi there. Missed my calls?"

"Akala ko kung sino. Iba na naman ang number mo? Pang-ilang palit mo na 'to?" Now, she's pissed. Sounds better.

"What a nice greeting." I said while chuckling.

"Ba't ka tumawag?"

"I asked first ,so you should answer my question first. How's your exam?"

"Maayos naman."

"You think you passed the board?"

"Hopefully."

"Want to celebrate?"

She sighed. "Imposible 'yan ngayon unless papuntahin mo ako dyan sa Cambridge."

"Nah. I'm in the same city."

"City?" She muttered, she gasped after. "You mean, dito sa Auckland?"

"Imposible pa rin ba?" I couldn't help but grin.

"Kailan ka pa nandito?"

"Almost a week."

"At ngayon ka lang tumawag!" She snapped.

"I don't want to distract you." I explained nonchalantly. "Where to?"

"Ano bang balak mo? For sure may balak ka na. I'm still shock, you know."

I chuckled once again. "Party tonight? I'll fetch you in 6. Let's dine in Bellota first."

"Okay, deal."

"Dress nice. I want you sexy." I suggested provocatively.

"Prepare for my slap, Aslejo." Then, she hanged up and I burst out laughing.

So, we party almost every night. It was the same kind of escape but it's getting more interesting. The desire was there. It was hard to ignore. Well, I'm a man with sexual needs and I'm old for hypocrisy. They may say that lust is immoral but it keeps men and women alive. Prudery is such a crap. Too bad, Rhea is still a prude and I tried to take it off her.

"There's nothing wrong with being wild." I said while biting her earlobe. She pinched my arm and I winced.

"Bad influence ka pa rin." She looked up to me and I catch her lips. She wasn't responding, she didn't resist either. She just let me kiss her. And because I'm a selfish wolf, I took advantage. Of course, I would have punishment later. Either a slap or a punch.

That was one of the few moments. Sometimes, I could really sense her sadness. Her lips is sweet but there's something missing. Inaalam ko kung ano 'yon. . .o baka alam ko na pero hindi ko lang gusto ipasok sa isipan ko kung ano talaga 'yon.

"Tinuturuan mo ata ako maging liberated." We're on Deschlers, having a fine conversation in a classic night spot. We took a 'day-off' from night-to-night bar hopping.

"Is it bad?"

"More than bad." She sipped on her cocktail.

"That's freedom, feisty. No restrictions. You're free."

"Told by a person who was born ready." She was pertaining to me. "Hindi ako tulad mo na sabik sa freedom. I just want a temporary escape."

"I'm telling you this because liberation can offer more."

"Ayos na ako rito." She gave up a long sigh. "Pansamantala lang naman ang kailangan ko. Not a lifetime escape."

"You sure? You don't wanna try it?" I smirked, challenging her.

She glared at me. "Do you want me to kill you?"

"What if I court you?"

Her eyes widened, "Oh, no, you don't! Basted ka kaagad sa akin! Courting a girl will never be your forte. You don't court, you flirt endlessly 'til you have that girl in bed-" I covered her mouth with my hand while laughing because of absolute amusement.

"Such a bad mouth. You love hurting my ego."

I didn't court her but we dated a few times. It was like a mutual agreement on my part. Though, I don't know if she also take it that way. We kissed, or maybe it's more proper to say that I always initiate but there was no second motion. I couldn't decide whether to hate her stiffness or be grateful that she doesn't let her defense down.

And at the end of the lure, she would fight me with all her might. Makatatanggap ako ng suntok, sapak o sabunot sa marahas niyang kamay. She's really violent sometimes. Ang nakapagtataka lang ay nagugustuhan ko kapag lumalaban siya kahit literal siyang nananakit. In that way, nararamdaman kong kahit papano ay natutulungan ko siyang lumakas ulit.

One night, I went to a bar alone because Rhea was fixing something. The next day, I woke up in a hotel with a stranger beside me. That was when all realizations shoots perfectly on my skull. I would only make her situation worst if she'll end up with the likes of me.

Because on my vocabulary, cheating is normal. Having sex with various girls is a common scenario. Lust is just an ordinary sin. It was fucking abnormal to her and I'm pretty sure she would end up traumatize and extremely depressed by cheating men. She experienced it once and if I kept on pursuing her, I can't promise that she wouldn't experience it again.

That day, I realize that I would not be enough. She wouldn't be enough for me, too. 'Coz I think I couldn't love anyone more than my obsession on freedom. I would end up asking for more, finding someone better who can fill my needs as a man. I refuse to be contented because that might be a trap. I would not let anyone cage me once again.

So, I backed out. It's better to stay as a friend, or take a role of a brother. Kung anuman ang naramdaman ko noon ay nagawa kong limitahan. She deserves someone who's far from the characteristics that I have. Kung mahal ko man siya, inilinya ko 'yon sa pagmamahal na meron ako para kay Rome. Isang kapatid.

I left NZ after a month. I tried to find her bestfriend named Annielle Martin, who's currently studying on Stanford University. She was also one of our interns, so searching wasn't that difficult. I stayed in California for a few weeks 'til I had a chance to talk with her.

"You know my friend, Mr. Aslejo?" She said in disbelief.

"I met her in New Zealand. Her brothers are my long time friends." I smiled at her. "No need for formality. You can call me Shinn. May gusto lang akong itanong."

Her eyes widened. "You're a Filipino, too?"

"Not that obvious." I shrugged my shoulders. "But to answer your question, yes I am."

"Tungkol ba kay Rhea ang pag-uusapan natin?"

I nodded. "I hope you don't mind me invading your friendship with Rhea."

"I-It depends." There was an obvious hesitation.

"I am her friend, too. Believe it or not, I really consider her my friend."

Annielle Martin nodded. She was intimidated by my presence, I could see that. I must have made her feel uncomfortable.

"Tungkol saan?"

I stared at her. "Can you tell me something about her past?"

She gave up a sigh. "There's nothing much to tell."

"There is." I insisted. "Alam kong meron."

Anne cleared her throat. She's getting nervous. "Why don't you ask her?"

"I want to hear it from other person's lips."

Anne has reservations. Well, I couldn't blame her. That was our first meeting, so I let it pass. Pero hindi ako tumigil hanggang sa makakuha ako ng resonableng sagot sa kanya. That happened on our third talk.

"She's not weak, Shinn. Actually, she's the most strongest girl that I know."

"She acts otherwise. She isn't independent." I said drily. That must've offended her because that flared her up.

Her face went grim. "Dependence doesn't measures one's weakness. Ano naman kung hindi siya independent? All her life she was craving for attention pero kahit kailan hindi niya sinabi sa ibang tao kung ano ang kailangan niya. That's because she doesn't want to be a burden to anyone."

Napatuwid ako ng upo. "What do you mean you say she's craving for attention?"

"The first person she depended on was her mother. Nung namatay si tita, everything wasn't enough for her. Siguro naman alam mo na nag-iisa siyang babae? Tito was always busy. Her brothers wouldn't understand because they're all boys. She only has me as her friend. Then, she got bullied and that changed her into someone else. I hope you understand my logic. Hindi siya mahina dahil lang sa hindi niya kayang mag-isa. She's already carrying tons of baggage at kailangan niya lang ng masasandalahan para mabuhat lahat 'yon."

I remembered something. Yung gabing sinabi niya sa akin na minsan niyang naisip na maging lalaki para masabayan niya ang mga kuya niya at yung malabong parte na sinabi niyang wala siyang magandang alaala nung bata siya dahil kay Ren. So, the jackass was the one who bullied Rhea?

"There were a few people who stay including me, so I knew everything. She depended on me. Habang lumalaki kami, ako ang kasama niya. 'Til our teenage days. Kailangan ko lang umalis para mag-aral dito and I was even thankful that Ren was there for her."

"Her jackass ex." I commented.

"I advise you to know him more. He's not as bad as what you think." She said with conviction. "Whatever happened between them, hindi ko 'yon binalewalang lahat. Ren has his reasons. As well as Rhea."

"So, you take his side and left you bestfriend in misery? Kaya ba wala siyang kakampi ngayon?" I smirked. "What kind of friend are you?"

"I wasn't taking sides! I'm just trying to be reasonable. Ren didn't cheat. Rhea was just too hurt and I can't blame her. Ren was her wall and when they broke up, the wall also breaks. She stumbled and fall. Wala akong kinakampihan. I will always be here for Rhea pero may mali rin siya. Ren, too. Parehas lang sila."

"How did you know that the jackass didn't cheat?"

"That's for you to find out. Ask Rhea. That wasn't my story to tell. I already gave you more than enough information. Please, huwag mo na ulit ako kausapin tungkol rito." She stood up and left me in state of confusion.

A month after that conversation with Annielle Martin, Rex called me to spread the news. Rhea passed the board examination. I scheduled my flight back to New York.

I've witnessed her struggle and fight but every fight has an inconstant momentum. There were times that it's on Rhea's side. There were times that it's on the opposite. I've seen her rise and fall. She was trying, giving her best, setting aside her limits and I admire her will. But the tricky thing is she really can't get over with her ex. She wasn't suicidal anymore, but depression takes place.

I've met another person in her life. The man was obviously attracted to Rhea and I could say that it's on different level. It must be higher than mine. Who cares about fucking levels anyway?

"Do you know Rhea's ex-boyfriend?" We're in the bar counter. Mula rito ay naririnig ko ang malakas na tawanan ni Roy at Ryan. The Marval got completed once again and they were having a good time. Kaysa mainggit sa samahan ng pamilya nila ay nakipag-usap na lang ako sa isa pa nilang bisita. The man named as Coby Ramirez.

"Ren? He was my friend."

"Was?"

"Childhood friend. Kami nila Rhea."

"I see. So, I bet you know the reason why they broke up." He frowned, so I add a question. "You didn't know?"

"I didn't want to ask Rhea about it. She seems traumatized."

"That's the right word. Traumatized. She needs psychological assistance." I said while sipping my drink.

"Hindi baliw si Rhea." Marahas nitong sagot.

"Did you hear me say that she's insane?" I said with sarcasm. "Psychological assistance is not only for those mentally deranged. Can't you see that your friend is acting strange than the usual? She's depressed. She needs a help of a professional. Staying by her side won't as good as consulting a doctor. Believe me, I care for her. My concern for Rhea alone was as bigger than my concern for all the woman I've gone to bed with."

Minsan kong nakita si Rhea na nakatulala sa isang tabi. Binalewala ko nung una pero nung napapadalas na ay nabahala ako. Depression is eating her up.

I grinned viciously. "Do you know that I wanna kill her fucking ex? I wanna rip his head. I wanna cut his balls, but then I realized that he didn't have any of those. Kung meron siyang ulo, meron siyang utak. Kung meron siyang utak, marunong sana siya mag-isip. He's a pinhead. He should be thankful our paths didn't cross or else I would gave him a little part of my sharp-witted brain."

The man sighed. "Do you know the reason why Rhea broke up with him?"

"The guy cheated on her." Though, Annielle Martin stated that they didn't. Rhea also confirms it but it was same banana.

"Ren can't do that." The man countered. I almost snarled at him. What's with these people? Did they truly trust that jackass?

"He just did. That guy don't deserve Rhea."

If I am on the jackass place, I would never go back to Rhea because that wouldn't just for the sake of dignity but respect to what I've already left.

Ginamit ko si Coby Ramirez para makumbinsi Rhea na mag-consult sa psychiatrist. He did it. Nakumbinsi niya si Rhea at hindi namin pinaalam sa mga Marval. I want Rhea to decide if she'll spill it to them. She almost breakdown when she opened it up to me. Hindi niya alam na sa akin nanggaling ang ideya. Malapit na ang pag-alis ni Coby kaya ako na ang nakasama niya.

"Am I acting insane, Shinn? Kailangan ko ba talagang gawin 'to?"

"No, feisty." I calmed her down. "We'll consult a psychiatrist not because you're insane but because depression is eating your system. Don't deny it this time. I can clearly see it."

Nag-uumpisa palang ang session niya sa psychiatrist ay nakahalata na si Roy.

"Anong pinupuntahan niyo ng kapatid ko sa ospital mo? Don't tell me may nangyayari sa inyo at sa ospital ninyo ginagawa?" He asked in dangerous tone. I almost laugh.

"Why don't you come with us then? For you to see it by yourself."

"Say it now, fucker." He hissed.

"Fine." I resigned. "She has a regular consultation with a psychiatrist. Nakikita mo naman siguro ang lagay ng kapatid mo?"

"Psychiatrist?" He repeated it incredulously.

"You're sister can fool you with her smile and fine words, eh? How pity. If you and your other asshole brothers gave her enough attention, you could've seen it sooner." Roy froze. I know I don't have the rights to blame them but it all started on them. The excess baggage were firstly made from them.

Coby went back to Phil. Isang linggo palang kami sa session ay pinayuhan na siya ng doktor na mag-relax at magkaro'n ng bagong environment. Binalewala ko na ang pag-uwi sa Amerika. I want Rhea to be fine. So, we planned go to the countryside. But we go back on partying first.

"Cut all the ties, feisty, and set yourself free." I whispered on her ear while we're dancing. She's high by inebriant. She's already wasted. Hinila ko na siya paalis ng dancefloor at pumunta sa table namin.

"I want to drink more. . ." Sambit niya kahit lasing na lasing na siya. Natamaan na rin ako ng kalasingan.

"More alcohol won't make you feel good, but my kisses will." Yeah, can't get it out of my system. I'm such a horny guy.

I pulled her to me and caught her lips. Her eyes were already close. Hindi pa siya tulog dahil naramdaman ko ang paggalaw ng labi niya. I groaned. That was. . .the first time she respond. I would've enjoyed it but someone nabbed my collar.

Nabitawan ko si Rhea at inis sa gumawa no'n. But even before I could react, a solid punched touchdown on my face that made curse. When I looked up and saw a stranger. I was punched by a stranger! Fuck it!

A girl rushed into him and drag him away from me. Even with the loud music, I heard the girl's scream. "Ren, stop it!"