Journal Entry FivePrincess Alessandra Twenella Rowebern of PentoyaStruvland

Maybe, my reaction towards all that I had experienced yesterday was a bit too dramatic. Truthfully, I am not sure what had come over me, it is almost as if I reverted back to my old juvenile ways of dealing with things that upset me, not that I have ever been good at experiencing disappointment but this was quite the unexpected reaction. I wonder if my reaction is a result of my tiredness combined with stress. I hope no one brings up my tantrum or I might just have another.

Lately, I have been wondering if I blame others for my own faults. If I do, and I continue, will there ever be any hope for me to change and grow from this? Or am I doomed to never take responsibility for my own actions? Would murdering Oliver make this worse? The Red Eyes would cover it up and I would be dead by Queen Adelina's hand or my father's if I admitted my betrayal. It seems as if this is something that will never be able to be repaired.

Speaking of Oliver, I cannot believe he kissed me. I wonder what brought that on. Should I confront him about it or should I leave it be? These are the questions that will keep me up for nights on end from now till forever.

Sincerely,

Princess Alessandra Twenella Rowebern of Pentoya