Trigger Warning

Chase's POV

I'm so excited! I get to see my boyfriend Mike again today. After yesterday's hot make out session I think I'm ready to go a little bit further. I'm still not ready for sex though I want to be in love with the guy I lose my virginity to and while I do really like Mike I'm not in love with him yet but I'm definitely starting to fall for him.

I wasn't necessarily ashamed of being a 24 year old virgin but I still hadn't told Mike about me being a virgin. I didn't want to freak him out. The guy I dated before Mike freaked out and refused to go on a third date with me after I told him I was a virgin and wanted to wait until things were serious between us to have sex. I think I'll tell Mike tonight though, our relationship is getting serious and I'm sure I'll be ready soon.

A lot of people think I'm a hopeless romantic even my older brothers Mason and Justin tease me about it, not my twin Jesse though he thinks it's cute. I wouldn't say I'm a hopeless romantic. I just want someone I can trust who will take care of me, listen to me, make me smile, never cheat on me and love me forever. Is that too much to ask!

I turn off the engine and walk into Mike's apartment complex. As I approach his apartment I start to get nervous, what if he thinks I'm dumb for wanting to wait? But then I think of how sweet he has been so far and how even though he got frustrated every time I stopped our make out sessions he had always respected my decision.

Smiling, I knock on the door. I hear shuffling and after a few seconds Mike opens the door. The smile is immediately wiped off my face when I see him standing there butt naked and hear moans coming from inside his apartment. Was he cheating on me? We had agreed to a monogamous relationship so why did it seem like he was cheating on me? My face pales, I feel a knot forming in the pit of my stomach, my breathing speeds up. I should just walk away but I need to be sure that he's actually cheating. Mustering up my courage, I manage to force the words out of my mouth. "Are you cheating on me?"

Mike shrugs, "well you wouldn't put out so what did you expect?" When he opened his mouth I smelt the booze on his breath. I instinctively took a step back.

I hated booze, my father, after my mother left, started drinking and once he started he was angry all the time. Most of his anger was directed at me since I looked the most like my mother while my brothers all had more of my father's features. His abuse was mostly verbal but one day while all of my brothers were out he had beat me within an inch of my life. Since then, my father was in jail and my brothers had become extremely protective, especially Jesse. He was tiny but fierce and didn't take crap from anyone.

I need to leave. I take another step back. I notice Mike's eyes now have an evil glint in them. I turn to run back down the corridor but I am too late. I feel Mike's hands cover my mouth and I am dragged towards his door. Tears flow down my cheeks and my heart breaks, I trusted him. I need to get away. I start kicking, scratching, elbowing him in the ribs and trying to bite his hand; anything I can do to get away. I feel another set of hands pulling me towards the apartment door.

They get me inside the room and Mike's hand comes away from my mouth. I scream at the top of my lungs but my scream is cut short when a cloth is shoved into my mouth, gagging me. I kick and wriggle trying to get free but my efforts are in vain. They force me onto the bed and the other two guys that were there hold me down. I pleaded with Mike with my eyes, begging him not to do this but he just took a swing of vodka. The four of them took turns holding me down and raping me. I was in and out of consciousness and everything hurt.

*****

I don't know how long they held me down and had their way with me but eventually they tired themselves out and let go of my hands and legs. I am in so much pain but my mind feels numb. Silent tears run down my face as I scoop up my clothes and struggle to put them back on. "By the way if you ever say anything to anyone we'll do the same to your brother Jesse, umm I would love to see that pain in his eyes as I pound him over and over again." One of the guys threatens. How did he know who my brother was? Did Mike tell him? Did they plan this? My breathing hitches, no, no, no, they cannot touch my brother! I nodded before limping towards the door.

It hurt so much to move but I slowly made my way to my car. I whimper as I sit in the driver's seat. I can feel the blood staining my pants. My dream of the perfect first time is shattered. In fact my chances at love are nonexistent, who would want someone so impure and filthy. I start hyperventilating. No! I can't have a breakdown right here, it's not safe. My hands shake as I start the car and pull out of the parking lot. I am barely focusing on the road. I just want this pain to end.

I want to go home and tell Jesse everything that happened but I couldn't because he would be disappointed in me. I think it would break me to see the disappointment in his eyes or hear him say I told you Mike was bad news.

When Jesse first met Mike he had been friendly to him but as soon as Mike left he told me that he didn't like him. Jesse told me that he didn't think Mike was right for me and that he didn't like his vibe. At the time, I had gotten so pissed and yelled at him saying that he was only jealous because I had a great boyfriend and he didn't. To which he replied saying, 'whatever, don't come running to me when he hurts you, all I'll have to offer is an I told you so.' We hardly ever fought and that was our biggest fight. When we both eventually calmed down, Jesse apologized, taking back what he said telling me that I can come to him for or with anything and I also apologized for my comment.

I should have listened to him and broken up with Mike. Jesse would think that this was my fault and that I could have prevented it. Somewhere in the back of my mind I know that isn't true but I can't help it. Plus that guy said that he would hurt Jesse if I told anyone. I would rather go through this turmoil again than have Jesse go through it. I have to be strong and at least try to protect him. No, I can't tell him. I can't tell anyone. I can never tell anyone which means I have to pretend to be ok. I need to think of a believable lie that I can tell my brothers so that I can have a few days to at least be able to walk and sit properly.

I am startled out of my thoughts by bright headlights coming towards me. The truck is far away enough and the road is big enough that I can swerve to avoid the truck hurtling towards me but instead I just continue on in my lane and let the truck continue it's approach. Maybe I'm better off dead. I close my eyes. The truck collides with my car.

Chase is so sweet! I love him so much and my heart breaks for him! <3  

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