Fifth Dimensional wackjob


After getting Mon-El some clothes, thankfully Peter had a few spare clothes that was lying around, Kara comes in and explains how this guy poofed into her apartment named Mxyzptlk who tried proposing and getting her to marry him.

"You have just been visited by a Fifth Dimensional being." J'onn tells her.

"You've seen one of these things before?" Peter asks him.

"Never here on Earth. On Mars, one of them moved the Xan 'Xie mountains halfway across the planet during the Zook Uprising. Fifth Dimensional life forms possess the ability to warp reality to their own whims. Abilities that would appear, to all intents and purposes to be magical." J'onn explains.

"On Daxam, we had a zero tolerance policy for those creatures." Mon-El says.

"Even on Daxam? Wow, these guys like to get around." Peter observes.

"Agent Schott, scan the archives for anything resembling Fifth Dimensional incursions here on Earth." J'onn asks Winn.

"Close Encounters of the Fifth kind. You got it." Winn says. "Oh, hey, we're ready to send your message to Mars whenever you are." He says.

"A message?" Kara wonders.

"On Earth it's customary to send messages on Valentine's Day. We had a similar custom on Mars." J'onn explains.

"Too bad you can't call her." Kara adds.

"We Martian's are a psychic people. All our communication was through thought. But when we had something really important to say, we would often write it down. On some planets, to write something down is to truly say it."

"I'm sure M'gann will be happy to hear from you." Peter says before excusing himself and leaves them.

Kara looks as he walks off and knows it can't be easy for him, a day to celebrate with loved ones and Peter doesn't have anyone to spend it with.

-

Peter decided to take a walk, which didn't exactly help with all of the valentine events that are happening. Couples spending time together, families getting together. It's like the universe wants to rub it in his face.

But it gets a bit better when he spots a crime happening in a Jewelry store and he rushes down the alley to change into the Iron-Spider.

Once he gets back in the suit, he flies down to where the criminals are and meets Kara there.

"Hey, boys. What's the hurry?" Kara asks them as the three of the criminals shoot the heroes.

"You're wasting your ammo. Those don't affect us." Peter reminds them.

"But will bullets hurt them?" A voice asks and they look to their left and sees Mxyzptlk has appeared out of nowhere.

"Who are you?" Peter asks.

"Mxy? What..." Kara was questioning but can't find the word.

"Hello, blossom." Mxyzptlk greets kara before snapping his fingers and the guns fly out of the hands of the criminals and then they're turned on them. They try to run, but Mxy stops them from going anywhere.

"What is he doing?" Peter asks Kara.

"I saw this in a movie once." Mxy explains and cocks the guns and fires them and Kara uses her super speed and stops the bullets from getting them.

"Thank you, Supergirl." One of the goons say when Kara just elbows him.

"Let the wooing begin." Mxy says before turning to Peter. "Hello. Who are you?"

Peter just looks to him, confused to how he knows Kara but not him.

"I'm the partner and friend." Peter tells him before he just vanishes.

-

The two just return to the DEO while Peter questions how his life has become this crazy.

"And where is Mxyzptlk now?" J'onn asks the heroes.

"I don't know. He snapped away." Peter says. "Even my systems couldn't track him."

"I thought he was just after me, but he almost killed this guys." Kara said. "He's a lot more dangerous than I thought."

"Agent Schott, have you found records of human dealing with these life forms?" J'onn asks Winn.

"Yes, actually. Lots. If you just take form it want you will. But from genies, djinn and leprechauns, humans have been documenting contact with reality bending creatures for centuries." Winn informs them while showing photos.

"Well, Aladdin has went down on my favorite childhood movies." Peter says.

"How did you slay them?" Mom-El asks as he comes in. "On Daxam, we crush them."

"What? No, absolutely not." Kara says.

"We learned the hard way to deal with them was to kill them quickly. Let me take care of him." Mon-El offers.

"Small fry, we can handle this guy." Peter tells him.

"Small fry?" Winn questions why he would call him that before taking a minute to remembered what happened that morning. "Oh! I get it. Because of his...Now I wish I didn't get it." He says.

"Back on topic, the DEO as some recovered alien artifacts in a sub-basement storeroom." J'onn tells them. "Maybe one of them can send him back to the Fifth Dimension, or at least supress his powers."

"I will have them brought up." Winn says and everyone leaves when his phone goes off.

"Who's that?" Peter asks him.

"Oh, I'm having dinner with a girl I met." Winn says.

"Good for you, man." Peter says when he also gets a message.

"Now it's my turn, who's that?" Winn asks.

Peter looks and sees that it's his valentine package he ordered a while back and he seems to have forgotten to cancel.

"Just another jab to the heart the universe likes to send me." Peter says and places his phone down.

"Is this your first Valentine's Day without a valentine?" Winn wonders.

"My first in years." Peter admits when the alerts go off and they see its Parasite.

"How is he back?" Peter asks before activating his suit and taking off.

-

Parasite is attacking the streets as Peter and Kara make it to him.

"Hey, I thought you were dead." Kara tells the creature.

"You're the one who's dead." Parasite tells them.

"You're even uglier than I remember." Peter states as the two of the use their powers on him to hold Parasite back when Mon-El tries helping which ended in the three of them getting hit.

They get back up and Peter pulls out a Decimator to take him down when suddenly Parasite gets punched upwards by a new guy as he and Kara stop a fire from getting to a gas truck.

"Superman?" Peter asks when he turns around and reveals Mxyzptlk in a Super suit.

"Not quite." Mxy tells them.

"Mxy? Are you serious?" Kara asks looking at his get up.

"Thought you could use a little extra help, Supey-Baby and friend." Mxy tells them.

"Hey, I was helping them so..." Mon-El states.

"You? That's a laugh. You're both lucky I flew in when I did. I mean, do you think this fraud could have helped you save the day?" Mxy asks them.

"Wait, did you use your powers to bring Parasite back?" Peter questions.

"How dare you ask such a thing, but I suppose after everything you would be careful with who you automatically trust." Mxy tells him. "I did my research on you, don't worry."

"Don't you see what he's doing? He's creating havoc so that he can play the hero and impress you." Mon-El tells Kara.

"What's wrong with that?" Mxy asks.

"First off, Syndrome did it before you." Peter tells him, thinking of The Incredibles.

"What's a syndrome?" Mxy asks.

"Do more research." Was Peter's answer.

"Why don't you just say your name backwards, buddy, and zip back to wherever you came from, okay?" Mon-El tells him.

"Wait, that's how you send him away?" Kara asks him and Mon-El starts trying to pick a fight with him and Kara sends him away.

"What's it going to take for you to leave my friend alone?" Peter asks Mxy.

"All its going to take two little words from your friend. Or things will be getting really bad for your world." Mxy warns them before snapping and vanishing once more.

"I feel off whenever he snaps for some reason." Peter tells Kara, but he doesn't know why.

-

While at the DEO, Mon-El and Kara started getting into an argument in the middle of the room while above, Peter was with Winn who had gotten the weapons.

Peter looks to Winn. "They together or something?" He asks Winn.

"They have been acting like an old married couple recently." Winn says as Mon-El comes up to them.

"Hey, guys. How's it going?" Mon-El asks them.

"Believe it or not, I'm having girl issues." Winn admits.

"Perfect timing." Mon-El states.

"Hey, you are good with girls. You held a steady relationship for years. Come on, hit me. I need a, like, a relationship pearl." Winn begs Peter.

"Uh...just be yourself and try a not to try too much." Peter offers to him.

Winn just thinks about his advice for a minute as Mon-El looks over the cases.

"What's in these?" He asks Winn.

"Only the coolest alien artifacts ever." Winn says and opens a few of the cases. "Now I know the E in DEO means Extra-normal, but this...I didn't even know things like this existed."

"What would this to do the imp?" Mon-El asks Winn.

"I have no idea, but it tested off the charts for Fifth Dimensional energy. Now the spectrometer needs to update before we do anything and that's gonna take up to six hours. So meanwhile I'm gonna go be brave and go to Valentine's Day dinner with a girl." Winn tells them as he leaves.

"And I have a date with loneliness, so excuse me." Peter says and walks off.

When he leaves, Mon-El takes his chance to steal the device.

Peter just keeps walking until he reaches Gwen's lab that J'onn has had turned into Spider-Man's home base. Basically, anything he needs to fix his suits, work on a few new gadgets but he couldn't come up with them as good as his doppelgänger from Earth-1 or Gwen could.

As he walks in and turns on the lights, he sees a small box on the table with a note from J'onn.

Gwen asked me to keep this safe. Even after death, she's still looking out for you.

The note reads and Peter opens it and sees a new data chip for Gwen's old computer system, now his computers.

Peter doesn't know what this could be, and Gwen was always known for her surprises.

He just places it in, and just sits back as the data runs through the computer and a voice starts leaving the speakers.

"Good-good-good-good evening, Peter." Gwen's voice leaves the computers.

"Gwen?" Peter asks, hoping she could hear.

"Hello, I am G.W.E.N. Spider-Man and Peter Parker's personal artificial intelligence. I was created in the unfortunate event of Gwen Stacy's passing." G.W.E.N. tells Peter who's shocked that she was able to make an artificial intelligence. "G.W.E.N. stands for Gotta Win, Even Now; Gwen loved her anachronisms."

"She sure did." Peter agrees with her. "So, what can you do?" He asks.

"What can't I do?" G.W.E.N. asks back. "I can hack into anything in minutes, run diagnostics on your suits, even during battle. Monitor your injuries, even help treat some of them when you're in the middle of battle. Run facial recognition on any enemy you're facing, even past criminal activity in the matter of seconds. And that's only a few of the many things I could do." G.W.E.N. says while demonstrating what she can do by showing security cameras to the entire DEO, several street cameras and showed him how his suit is functioning.

"Gwen, you outdid yourself." Peter says smiling knowing that at least he can have a piece of Gwen with him.

"What'd you say, big guy? Wanna take a girl for a ride?" G.W.E.N. asks Peter who decides to see how this works and allows her to upload herself into his suits.

Peter leaves the AI to do what it does and joins J'onn and Kara as they look over the weapons.

As they look over the weapons, they see that Mon-El took a weapon to use against Mxy.

"G.W.E.N., I need you to run a scan for Fifth Dimensional activity anywhere in the city." Peter says and the two of them are looking at him like he's crazy.

"Running scans now." G.W.E.N. tells him and in seconds they have a lead.

"How'd you do that?" J'onn asks.

"Gwen left me a personal AI in case she ever died." Peter explains and leads the way to the two.

-

What they go to is some stage where Mon-El is tied in the air with Mxyzptlk pointing a gun to him and they're wearing something out of a Shakesphere play.

"What did we miss?" Peter wonders.

"Stop." Kara tells Mxy.

"Sweetheart. And friend." Mxy says seeing the two.

"Dude, either Spider-Man or Peter, pick one." Peter asks of him, hating just being referred to as friend.

"This volatile maniac tried to kill me. It'll be better for all of us once I snuff him out." Mxy tells them.

"I'll marry you." Kara says.

"You will?" Mxy asks.

"You will?" Mon-El asks.

"You will?" Peter asks her.

"Yes, I've thought about it, and you're right. You're gifted, brilliant, and together we can do anything. Take me as your wife." Kara tells Mxy.

"Darling, you and I are going to be the ultimate power couple." Mxy promises and when Mon-El tries to object, Mxy makes him vanish. "Let's get this show on the road. I'll get our officiant, you want the pope, a Lubavitcher Rabbi? Your friend can be flower boy if you wish."

"Wait, what?" Peter asks, never agreeing to anything.

"It would mean the world to me if I followed proper Kryptonian custom and got married on the soil of my people." Kara tells Mxy.

"Kryptonian soil coming up." Mxy says and raises his hand when Kara stops him.

"No, I meant the Fortress of Solitude. I'll wear my mother's dress. Meet me there tomorrow there at noon." Kara explains and asks of him.

"I'll see you soon, wife." Mxy says before snapping away.

"You have a plan, right? You're not actually going to marry this guy?" Peter asks her. "Also, how do you have your mother's dress?"

"Depends, tell me more about what G.W.E.N. can do." Kara asks of him and Peter wonders why she would want to know that.

-

The next day at the Fortress, Mxyzptlk shows up right on time wearing a tuxedo.

"Sweetums, where are you? It's time! Kara! You said noon and here I am!" Mxy calls out for her as she flies in.

"I can hear you." Kara says and he sees her drinking orange juice in her super suit.

"Where's the dress? Flowers? The pigs in blankets?" Mxy asks her as she finishes drinking.

"See, that's the thing, Mxy. I'm not going to marry you." Kara tells him. "I brought you to the Fortress in case you got violent again. 'Cause I didn't want anyone to get hurt when I broke the news. It's not going to work between us." She explains.

"But you said...you don't love me?" Mxy asks her.

"Love isn't making demands of someone, or forcing them to marry you. Love is putting someone else's needs above your own."

"So, you brought me all the way up here just to reject me?" Mxy clarifies to her before snapping his fingers.

Kara looks and sees one of the ice statues of Clark's parents begins to move.

"I think you're going to have to explain your catastrophic lack of judgment to your family." Mxy tells her. "What's that, uncle Jor-El? If you have to hold Kara down till she sees reason and becomes my bride, you will?"

The statue begins to move to Kara who takes off into the air and avoids the statue.

"I offered you the world, Kara Zor-El. Anything you wanted. And you reject it all? I could have made you a god, like me." Mxy says as the statue smacks Kara like a fly, causing her to crash.

"I don't want to be like you, Mxy. I just want you off of Earth." Kara tells him before flying up to Jor-El.

"You don't get to tell me what to do until after we're married." Mxy informs her as Kara flies up to the statue and shatters it.

Kara then flies back to Mxy to where the controls are.

"You think this is the worst it can get? One snap and I'll crack your world in half." Mxy states to her. "And where will you go, Kryptonian? I will hound you across the stars until you admit that you love me."

"I'm done with this, Mxyzptlk. And I'm done with you. You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts." Kara dares and approaches the controls before typing something in.

"Now sealing the Fortress of Solitude." A voice says as the place locks down.

"What are you doing?" Mxy asks her.

"Setting the atomic cauldron to self destruct." Kara explains and hopes that this plan works.

"The atomic what now?" Mxy asks.

"The Fortress has one of the most powerful fusion furnaces on earth. I'm overloading the Sunstones at its core." Kara explains to him.

"Okay, well, Kara. Let's not be too hasty, huh? Maybe we should..."

"Atomic cauldron fusion increased 2,000%." The computer tells them.

"When the cauldron goes up, it'll explode with a force of four hundred megaton bombs. The Fortress is sealed so should contain the blast, but anyone inside it...not so much." Kara states. "You can't stop me from killing myself. It's in the rules."

"Okay, there's only room for one crazy person in this relationship." Mxy tells her. "Maybe we should just control-alt-delete this, and we can talk it over with a cup of Thoni tea." He offers to her but she doesn't take it.

"Being with you would mean being at odds every day with my heart, Mxyzptlk. I'd rather die in here than be with you." Kara replies to him.

"Countdown initiated."

"Here's the thing. I'm calling your bluff. I don't believe that you'd destroy all of this." Mxy states to her.

"Atomic cauldron detonation in one minute."

"Okay, please. I'll do anything. Just don't die." Mxy starts begging to Kara.

"Sorry. I'm not going to tell you the cancellation code." Kara informs him.

"So there's a code?" Mxy gets from that and moves to the computers and he can't read Kryptonian. He makes a book appear that translates Kryptonian and starts to flip through it.

"Atomic cauldron detonation in thirty seconds."

"I don't have time to learn your stupid moon language!" Mxy states and makes the book disappear and gets on his knees, facing Kara. "Please, Supergirl. I'm literally begging you. Don't do this. I'll do anything. You want world peace? You got it. I can make that happen. Just don't kill yourself. The world needs Supergirl."

"Fifteen seconds to Atomic cauldron detonation."

Kara decides his begging is enough and shows him which buttons he needs to push to shut down the detonation.

"Atomic cauldron detonation cancelled."

Mxyzptlk is happy for a quick second before the computer translates what he just typed and it's his name, backwards.

"No. You made me write my name backwards." Mxy realizes.

"Yup. On some planets, to write something down is just as good as saying it." Kara tells him, remembering what J'onn said.

"You tricked me." Mxy tells her.

"No, I followed the rules. You say your name backwards, you go back to the Fifth Dimension, no questions asked." Kara states.

"That's it, you nasty woman." Mxy says before trying to snap, but then he starts to fade away.

"I just wanted...someone to love me." Mxy explains to her.

"You can't force love, Mxyzptlk, you have to let it find you." Kara says as he vanishes into flakes.

"You know, it would have been nice...if you told me ahead of time you planed on blowing us to oblivion." The computer voice changes to Peter's as she smiles and turns to see him coming out of hiding.

"Come on, the Fortress doesn't have a detonator core." Kara tells him. "And if it did, I doubt Clark would've told me."

"That doesn't make me feel better." Peter replies.

"Thanks for your help." Kara changes the subject.

"Well, G.W.E.N. did most of the work." Peter admits.

"As always." G.W.E.N. states, her voice coming from his suit, and Peter rolls his eyes.

"Leave it to Gwen to make an artificial intelligence that talks back to me." Peter thinks out loud and Kara laughs at the two of them, even when she knows one of them is basically a voice.

"Does this intelligence help you with everything?" Kara asks him.

"It makes it...easier." Peter admits to her. "Knowing I have a piece of her with me, but at the same time it's difficult knowing she's not really there. Come on, let's head back to the city." He says before walking out of the Fortress.

Kara just smiles at her friend and starts following him out.

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