My eyes snapped open as the horrible memories danced through my mind, calling out to me, stealing away my soul. My mouth opened slightly as all the pieces clicked into place. I had just gotten the details on why I didn't sleep at night, and why I was so good at what I did. I guess whatever I told Clint were fake memories planted in my head, I thought to myself as I stood up off the floor. Then I saw them.

Tony, Bruce, Steve, and Thor were sitting on the couches in the movie theater watching my memories, my life play on a screen, and it was just finishing. I opened my mouth a bit wider and fled to the gym with tears in my eyes, threatening to spill onto my pale cheeks.

This time was much like the last time I cried, only there was no comforting from Clint. Only the sound of my sobs as I threw punch after punch, doing what I knew.

With mixtures of sobs and yells I broke a hole in the brown sand bag and watched the insides become the outsides as the sand poured out and the bag drooped. Not wasting anytime, I grabbed a new bag and hung it one clip over, leaving the broken one alone. My bloody hands shook as I threw another punch, following up with a left elbow and then a right knee. I wanted to collapse and never get back up, but I can't. I need to be strong even when my worst nightmares are me. I need to stand strong and never-

I fell.

When you've been strong for a really long time, breaking is hard. You either puke, pass out, or die, and I'm pretty sure I was barfing up my soul as the disgusting mush fell from my mouth in a large splattering pile. My body needed a break both physically and mentally, but my determination wasn't letting it have one, so I picked myself back up and punched the bag again. And again. And again. I could see the blood from my hands staining the blue fabric of the punching bag but still I punched.

I didn't know what I was trying to accomplish by hitting the same unmoving object over and over again, but whatever it was clearly wasn't good for me, because Natasha came running in and hurtled over my barf pile before taking me to the floor.

"Luna you need to calm down," she said pinning my arms above my head and sitting on my legs so I could go nowhere.

"No!" I yelled with a sob. "No I need to punch Natasha! I need to hit something....I need!" My words quickly became incoherent as I thrashed my head around on the ground, hair sticking to my tear-soaked cheeks. I finally yelled out in anguish and closed my eyes, completely shutting down my systems. "You don't understand," I whispered miserably. I started retching again and Natasha sat me up, putting her hand on my shaking body as the food rocketed out of my body.

"I do understand," Natasha whispered as she lifted me off the floor and into her arms.

Natasha placed me on my bed and ran into my bathroom to grab something while I danced on the line of consciousness. I was still shaking and thrashing, but the barf had stopped which was nice. My arm flinched as my body twitched as I tried to accept yet refuse all the information at one time, causing my head to hurt. Natasha ran in with a wet washcloth and surveyed my body.

"JARVIS get Steve down here," she called to the AI. My leg twitched as Natasha tried to wipe the throw up from my mouth. "You'll be okay Luna," Natasha said calmly as the cold washcloth ran over my face. "It's hard to break down, I know. You just gotta push through."

Steve burst through the door in a panic which frightened me, making my body flinch.

"Do something," Natasha called.

"What?"

"Anything!"

Steve ran over and got on top of me, grabbing my arms and legs and holding them still.

"That hurts Rogers," I moaned as he applied pressure to my limbs.

"Sorry," he said quickly lifting his hands off me.

"Steve get a Benadryl," Natasha said, so Steve ran off into my bathroom and grabbed a pill for me and a glass of water. Natasha helped me sit up as Steve handed me the glass and the pill.

"By the way," Steve said quietly to Natasha as I swallowed the pill. "We've got a mission in a week. Another HYDRA base."

"Alright.

Luna?" Natasha put a hand on my forehead.

"Yes?"

"Stay in bed okay? That Benadryl will put you right to sleep so just close your eyes. If you need anything I'll stay in here, but don't forget you can always ask JARVIS," she reminded me. I nodded as my eye lids began to feel heavy and my body stopped twitching.

Right before I drifted off I could hear Steve whisper to Natasha,

"Anxiety. She's got it the worst I've ever seen."