Chapter 18: Provoking
I wake up in the morning feeling a little more hopeful after my cathartic crying session and another good night's sleep. My dad is leaving today so I give him a giant hug and thank him profusely for bringing me to Harry. I ask him to tell everyone that I'm okay and that Harry is going to be okay.
And to tell them I don't know when I'll be home.
A short while after seeing my dad off, Dave pops in for a bit, this time with a lovely raven-haired girl at his side. "Kate, this is Scarlett. She grew up with us."
"And?" Scarlett nudges him in the ribs before I can return any form of greeting.
"And..." he pauses for dramatic effect, "I asked Scarlett to marry me on Saturday." They are both beaming wide. Strange, Harry hadn't mentioned that Scarlett was dating one of his friends, not that it really matters.
"Oh, Congratulations!" I squeal and hug them both at the same time. Mrs. Styles joins us with hugs and greetings.
"Harry told me about you, Scarlett," I smile. "I'm glad to finally meet you."
Dave eventually pulls away and tells us, "We came by to tell Harry the good news." I love the way Dave talks to Harry as if he were perfectly alert. "Harry, buddy," Dave greets him, again giving his limp hand a real handshake. "Came to tell you that Scarlett and I are getting married. Yeah, I know you're laughing inside because you always told me that she was into me, but I was too dense to realize it. Well, you have a knack for these things, man. You finally convinced me to ask Scarlett out, and then you convinced me to marry her."
When I give him a confused look, he continues talking to Harry by way of explaining to me as well. "You knew Kate was the one and you proposed to her before she could get away. It took me far too long to make Scarlett mine, and I'm not waiting any longer."
Scarlett and I glance at each other, both of us a little misty-eyed at Dave's words. I can't help but continue staring at Scarlett while Dave keeps chatting with Harry. She's not at all what I had imagined. I had thought she would be a tomboy after Harry told me how she tormented him. Maybe that used to be true, but now she's more like a cover girl. Her jet-black hair is stunning, and her eyes are the kind of blue-green I would imagine to be the color of a tropical ocean. Her complexion is pale and perfect, and I'm sure that every man she meets notices her unbelievable curves. I can't imagine why Harry didn't fall for her. She seems perfect in every physical way. More than that, she has been such a good friend to Harry. She helped him through the hardest time in his life. She led him to God.
How could he not find all of that attractive?
Then I decide that it doesn't matter. I'm in love with Harry and he's in love with me. Now Dave and Scarlett are getting married. I'm starting to grasp that God must have a way with orchestrating such things.
Scarlett shifts while I'm still staring at her. "Kate, can I come and take you out to lunch soon? I'd love to get to know the girl who stole Harry's heart."
"That would be awesome, but..." I pause and bite my lip. "...I hate to leave him."
"How about if we don't go too far? There's a super Mexican place just down the street. Or we can just eat in the cafeteria, if you're more comfortable with that," she offers.
"Sure, that sounds great," I nod.
She tells me she'll be in touch soon, and after more hugs and kisses, we say good-bye. I turn the CD player on as soon as they're gone, and I pop in One Direction's Midnight Memories album, cuing the music to track #7. I move back to the side of the bed and tell Harry, "They're playing our song." I cuddle up next to him and hope that he's listening somehow as I sing the lyrics quietly.
I'm sorry if I say, "I need you"
But I don't care
I'm not scared of love
'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker
Is that so wrong?
Is it so wrong
That you make me strong?
The bridge of the song makes my throat tighten with emotion.
So, baby, hold on to my heart, oh, oh
Need you to keep me from falling apart
I'll always hold on
'Cause you make me strong
With all the willpower I can muster, I whisper into his ear, "Baby, you have to wake up soon. I really do need you to keep me from falling apart."
As the song ends, I ponder what it is that makes Harry so strong. Why does he make me feel so strong? I know there is a more spiritual answer than a pop song. I close my eyes and lean my head against his chest, his heart. It's beating, thank God it's beating.
A memory floats from somewhere deep in the back of my mind. Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow. I challenge my brain to recall the old church song and finally remember the title, "Great is Thy Faithfulness." It's such an old-fashioned song, yet still so full of meaning. I realize that God has been faithful to me, especially during the past few days. I've had enough strength to get through each day. My needs have all been provided for: food, sleep, and just enough hope to keep me going.
I recognize the voice again, the same one I heard, or at least felt, that day in the chapel. God is speaking to my heart through the song, through both songs.
Day six quickly gets into full swing with more of the same: Vitals, nurses, doctors, specialists, all doing the same thing, poking, probing, and prodding Harry in order to find out if he's any closer to waking up.
I don't know how anyone can watch a loved one go through this for days, weeks, and months on end. Harry's family and I are already so tired and so sick with anticipation, we can hardly stand it. We all want to see some change, but we have no idea whether it will happen today, months from today...or never. The fear rises again, but I grit my teeth and decide it that I had let it take over for long enough last night.
I get started with my daily routine of moving and stretching Harry's arms and legs, talking to him as I go. I babble on about wedding plans and I joke that it's unfair that he's making me do all the work. I take extra time to massage his fingers. They're long and slender, yet sturdy and defined. I wonder where his rings are. I pull his hand up to my mouth and kiss his cross tattoo and his fingertips.
"We have to find a nice wedding band for your finger, too," I murmur as I'm still holding his hand in mine.
I move on to stretching his left foot and massaging it, and then I finish my dragging my finger down the middle of his foot. His foot flinches and I hear a small, almost imperceptible groan. I can't quite believe it was real, so I drag my finger across the bottom of his foot again and get the same reaction, his foot flinches and the groan is louder this time.
"Harry?!" The word bursts out of my mouth. "Harry!"
His parents, who had been dozing in the recliners while I did his stretches, rush to his side and start touching his arms and holding his hands. They talk to him quietly and try to persuade him to respond as well. I grab the nurse call button, slam it down with my thumb and then move up to his face. I lean in close and stroke his cheek lightly. "Harry. I know you're in there," I whisper. "Please open your eyes for me. I miss your big beautiful eyes."
The nurse enters and Harry's father tells her, "I think he's responding! Get his doctor!"
I turn back to Harry and continue coaxing him. "Come on, Harry! Do you know how badly I want to kiss you?" His parents chuckle as I realize what I've just said in front of them. I don't care.
Dr. Horowitz arrives. He begins performing the same routine of poking and prodding to try to elicit a response. He repeats the foot scratch and gets the same flinch, only this time, Harry tries to move his mouth. With great effort, he pushes out a sound, "ssss..."
I kiss his ear. "What did you say, Baby? Tell us what you want."
His mouth barely moves, but he manages to make the sound again, "SSSsstah..."
"I think he's trying to tell us to stop," I laugh with tears rolling down my face and he seems to relax.
The doctor finishes his evaluation and tells us that Harry is definitely waking up and although he can't be sure, he thinks Harry will become fully responsive again. "Then," he adds, "we will be able to tell how much damage has been done."
Damage? As in brain damage? This time I don't even let the fear into my throat. I just shove it away and turn my attention back to Harry.
Dr. Carbondale tells us that as much as we're tempted to keep provoking him, we should give him some time to rest. Try not to overstimulate him. His brain will be working hard to come back.
I can't resist one more try, "Open your eyes for me, Baby." I kiss his cheek and then lie back down next to him.
I rest my head right next to his face. After several minutes, I feel a flutter in my hair. I jerk back and look up at him. His eyes are fluttering, opening and closing as if he's trying desperately to wake up. "Come on, Baby," I whisper. "You can do it. Open your eyes for me."
After several minutes of opening and closing his beautiful green eyes, he manages to keep them open for small amounts of time. His parents have joined us at his bedside again, smiling and cooing over him like a baby. "We missed you, son," they tell him.
I kiss him fully on the mouth and say, "Whenever you're ready, you can kiss me back." The corner of his mouth twitches just a little, exactly the way I had seen it yesterday.
"Don't try too hard," I smile. "I'll be ready when you are."
* * * * *
Yay! He's awake! :D
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