I've enlisted Fiona to take my remaining shifts on the trolley, which she's more than happy to do. I want to spend every available moment with Harry before he leaves. Unfortunately, you know what they say about the best laid plans, that they don't always turn out the way we want them to, to paraphrase the poet.

I get a text from Harry early on the morning of December 26, barely twelve hours after we said good-bye on Christmas night. The text is brief, but it sounds serious: We need to talk NOW. On my way over. He appears at my door not even ten minutes later.

I greet him with a giant kiss and try to play down my swelling emotions. "What's so urgent that you had to drag me out of bed?"

"Let's sit down, Katie." The sober tone in his voice puts me on high alert, my heart beating rapidly as fear rises in my throat. My anxiety is immediately apparent to Harry.

He takes my hand gently and says, "It's going to be okay, Katie. Really." But then he launches into the most frightening thing I've ever heard. "I'm leaving tomorrow to go back to Madison. I've been accepted for an experimental treatment at the UW Spine Center. We applied a long time ago and we just assumed that I wasn't being considered any more since my injury happened so long ago. But this particular trial is for patients who have been living with a spinal cord injury for several years."

"Is it surgery? You're going to have surgery?" I ask, still trying to prevent the panic from taking over completely. "I thought you were fine with the way you are. With these," I say, gesturing to his crutches. "You move around so well and you've adjusted to your life now, right?"

"Katie," he says with excitement in his voice, "I could walk again! It's not a sure thing, but it's a possibility. Can you imagine? I might be able to walk!"

I realize how selfish my fear must make me sound. Of course I want him to walk, to be completely recovered from that horrible accident. But I also know that my fear is not irrational. "What are the risks?"

"Well, it might not work, you know?" He shrugs. "It's experimental, so it could just not work. I'm trying not to get my hopes up. I have accepted the way I am now, but don't you want me to at least try? To at least have a chance to get better?"

"Of course I do," I agree. "And I'm sorry if it sounds like I don't. I really do. But you're not telling me everything. This is spinal surgery. I know it has to be dangerous. What else, Harry? What are the other risks?"

"Well, it could make me worse," he sighs. "The spine is very intricate. Even the best surgeons and researchers can't predict every possible complication. I have to sign papers, saying-"

"Saying what, exactly?" I'm on the verge of becoming hysterical. "Does the waiver say that you'll be okay if you're completely paralyzed. Or that I'll be OK if you die? Because I won't be okay, Harry! I won't be okay with that!" I get up and pace frantically around the room, wanting to run away from this conversation.

"There's a very small chance of permanent paralysis, but yeah, that's what the form says. I'm voluntarily letting them experiment on my spine." He finishes with a whisper. "I mean, they have to take the normal precautions that they do for any surgery. But there are risks that are specified, built into the contract." He looks back at me and his voice strengthens. "I'm not scared, Katie."

"Well you might not be scared, but I am terrified!" I realize that I'm yelling at this point, but I can't help it. "Yesterday we were talking about getting married, and that I can barely handle having you leave to go back to college. How do you think I feel now that you could die?" I break down into uncontrollable sobs.

Harry comes to me and lets both of his crutches drop. He steadies himself against the back of the couch and wraps both arms around me, holding me tight. He whispers, "I'm not going to die, Katie. I promise," he adds a little laugh, trying to lighten the situation, but I'm still terrified.

Apparently my breakdown has awakened the entire house. My dad walks in cautiously and asks, "Is everything all right?"

I pull away from Harry slightly and quietly tell my dad, "Harry is having surgery...tomorrow." More tears begin rolling down my cheeks.

"Well, sir, the surgery is not tomorrow, actually," Harry clarifies. "I'm going to the UW Spine Center tomorrow, checking in so that they can do some tests before the actual procedure. It's an experimental trial that my parents and I applied for a long time ago. They just called us last night to confirm my participation. Can you believe they called on Christmas?" Harry looks hesitantly at me and then back at my dad. "We actually spoke with them about a week ago, when they first contacted us about the possibility." Harry turns back toward me, "I didn't want to tell you until I knew for sure. I didn't want you to worry about me. And I had no idea we would hear back from them so soon."

This triggers another round of sobbing. My dad comes over and puts his arms around both of us. "This must be really scary for you, Kate. But it sounds like a promising opportunity for Harry. I think you know that, honey. I believe he will be fine, just fine."

I slowly pull away and retrieve Harry's crutches from the floor. "Leave it to the two men that I love the most to conspire against me," I try to smile and give my dad a kiss on the cheek.

"What about college?" I ask Harry. "Aren't you supposed to finish this spring?"

Harry nods. "I will have to postpone my last semester until I've recovered from the surgery. I'll have to finish in the fall. Or in the summer, if I'm up to it." Then he asks, ""Will you come and help me pack?"

I sit on his bed all afternoon and fold the items he places next to his suitcase. He laughs a little when he catches me smelling his t-shirts.

"What?" I laugh. "You smell good! I might just keep one of these to help me get through this hell."

He laughs and gestures toward me as if to say, "Be my guest."

I grab the t-shirt and stuff it into my purse. He breaks out in laughter and I can't help but join him. He leans over to give me a squeeze and tells me he loves me yet again. It's been an ongoing litany all day - he tells me he loves me and I parrot it right back to him.

Once his bags are all packed, I can't bring myself to leave. He knows it, too. He pulls me into another firm hug and whispers, "Please stay with me tonight. Just to sleep, nothing more."

I don't even think twice before saying yes, but then another question enters my mind, "What will our parents think?"

"They know I love you," he says softly "And that I need you," he breathes.

I close my eyes and let that realization sink in, Harry needs me. He needs me to stand by him, to be courageous just as he has been, to support him no matter what.

On Christmas, we had decided that it wasn't a good idea for us to share the same bed. I know that we're still planning to wait until we're married to become physically intimate. But the game has suddenly changed. We don't want each other in that way right now. We just need to be close to each other.

After a quick dinner, we get ready for bed. I send a quick text to my sister, Staying with Harry 2nite; don't worry :) Tell Mom I'll be good.

Harry offers me an over-sized t-shirt and some shorts to sleep in. He finds a new toothbrush in the medicine cabinet and hands it to me. He grabs a hairbrush and takes it back into the bedroom. As I climb into the bed, Harry gently brushes my hair, something I've always enjoyed. It strikes me as funny, more than once, that Harry seems to be comforting me more than I should be comforting him.

"Katie," he smiles and kisses me. He pulls me down onto the pillows, pulls the comforter over us and turns out the light. I don't want to go to sleep. I just want to stay awake all night and feel Harry's arms wrapped around me. I want to forget that he's leaving in just a few hours. But I'm exhausted from the emotions of the day.

As I drift off, I tell Harry, "Don't let me go."

"Not a chance."

Morning comes too soon. Harry and I eat a quick and quiet breakfast together and we linger for as long as possible while his parents pack the car.

"I can't do this," my voice cracks as I'm suddenly consumed with the same panic from the day before.

"Katie," he caresses my hair and then pulls my face close to his. "This will all be over in a few weeks. Then we can make some real plans for our future together."

I smile for a moment, through the tears that are falling freely again, and I whisper, "I'm so scared."

He whispers right back into my ear, "Don't be afraid. I'll be fine, I promise. Remember how Scarlett prayed for me after my accident?"

I nod.

"She will be praying for me again. And I'll be praying for you."

The tears come harder and faster, soaking my entire face. "I should be the one praying for you."

"I know you will," he assured me. At this point, I notice that Harry's eyes are brimming over with tears as well. Something tells me that he's not crying because he's afraid.

It's because he loves me.

Harry and I talk, text, and video chat any chance we get. I learn that his procedure is scheduled for January 3 so I plan to drive to Madison on January 5, after I've registered for my last semester of classes, which won't begin until January 14. I will have a little over a week to spend with him as he recovers.

As we're chatting on Skype one particular day, Harry removes his hospital gown from the waist up to show me all the wires and monitors attached to him. I've never seen him without a shirt on, so his muscular physique catches me off guard. "You're pretty buff," I remark. "Better put that gown back on before the nurses start to swoon over you."

He flexes his bare muscles like a body builder. "I've been working out, you know."

His lightheartedness helps my fear to dissipate. I'm a little more relaxed, now that I can connect with him throughout the day. We both try to have constant access to our phones or leave a video chat option open on our laptops so that we can see each other whenever possible. He watches me putter around the house, or I watch the nurses poking and prodding him. I can't stand the fact that I can't touch him or kiss him, but I'll take what I can get. One night, I start to strip off my clothing to change into my pajamas and I hear Harry's cackle loud and clear through my laptop.

"Whoa," he laughs. "As much as I'd like to watch this show, you should probably turn the camera around to get dressed." I laugh along with him at my oversight and it makes me feel better than I have all week.

Harry has listed me as one of his emergency contacts. He tells me that he has made it absolutely clear to his doctors and the hospital staff that they have permission to communicate with me about anything and everything.

To me, that says just about everything. I'm part of his life now, an irreplaceable part, as he is part of mine. And as much as I want to be the one receiving reassurance from him and everyone else, I know that I also have to be there for him.

I have to be strong for him.

* * * * *

So there you have it, a sudden turn of events. What do you think? :)