I want to spend every waking moment with Harry, but I know he has family commitments and so do I. After much planning and careful tiptoeing around everyone's feelings, we decide to spend Christmas Eve with his family, Christmas morning with my family, and then we will have the rest of the day to ourselves. My parents will be out of town, visiting family for the afternoon and won't be back until very late. My mom is less than happy that I won't be joining them, but my dad excused me from the obligation.

Harry and I will have to start talking about how our relationship will proceed when he returns to Madison to finish school. We both know it's coming, so we have to address it, whether we like it or not.

And I hate it.

I attend church with Harry and his family on Christmas Eve. At least ten Christmas trees adorn the altar. Deep red bows contrast with the healthy green of the trees. There must be twenty or thirty poinsettias positioned around the church. A gorgeous wooden stable is located to the right of the altar. A delicate blue light shines down on the intricate statues of Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus. The smoky smell of incense fills the air.

Several small children climb the steps in front of the altar. They are exquisitely dressed in suits and ties, lace, bows, and shiny black shoes. Their voices are off-key, but they still sing an adorable rendition of Silent Night. The entire scene is somewhat overwhelming. My senses are full and my heart is overflowing. My eyes get a little watery. Harry leans in and whispers, "What's wrong, Katie?"

"Nothing, Harry. Everything is perfect." I squeeze his hand and he sneaks a quick kiss to my temple.

After church, we gather around the fireplace at the Styles' cabin. Oma had made several different kinds of Christmas cookies. She insists that I try one of everything. I think she's still trying to get me to gain weight.

Christmas morning is delightfully snowy, but not too cold. Harry arrives at our house laden in snowflakes. I remember the way they had melted in his hair at the diner. This time I flick them out of his brown waves, just to have an excuse to touch him.

The service at my church is quite different than the Mass we attended last night. Our church isn't decorated nearly as much, but the atmosphere is still warm and festive. I've grown up in this church; it still feels like home to me.

I am both grateful for my upcoming time with Harry, but also tortured to know his days with me are coming to a close. We are just playing house for the day, not together in our own place, and with no plans for me to return to Madison with him.

I had originally planned to cook a big Christmas dinner with all the trimmings, but I had decided a few days ago that I would rather spend my afternoon with Harry than investing precious hours making sure the turkey doesn't dry out. We agreed to order in from the best (and only, as far as I know) Chinese restaurant in the Western Upper Peninsula that will be open on Christmas Day.

Once we've said good-bye to my family, we lock the door and start a fire in the fireplace. "Would you like some wine?" I ask.

"Well, from what I remember, you're not old enough to drink," he teases me with a wink.

I pour the wine anyway and bring him a glass. Then I bring the bottle over to where we are sitting. We sit quietly for a long time, content to just be together, neither of us feeling that we have to fill up the space with words.

After our second, or maybe third glass of wine, Harry pulls out a small box that has been hiding far behind the Christmas tree. We had already exchanged gifts while my family was still here, so I am completely surprised by the box that he places in my hands.

I open the treasure very carefully. I gasp when I lay my eyes on the delicate Celtic cross necklace from the antique shop. I look at Harry and I whisper, "I love it." I look back down at the curves of the beautiful design and then back at him. "You didn't have to give me anything, but I love it. I love you." Then I press a bit further, "I saw how much it cost. Harry, you're in college and going to med school next year. You really shouldn't have." I can't help but go on and on about the beautiful piece of jewelry in front of me.

"I had been considering a pretty diamond necklace, but when you fell in love with that, I knew you had to have it. And, um, as far as the money...there was a settlement from my accident. We were hit by another driver...."

I can tell the subject is difficult for him.

"I don't care about the money, but as long as I have it, I want to use it for something special." He takes my hand and says, "Besides, when I give you a diamond, it will be a ring."

My heart leaps with excitement at his words. I place the necklace carefully on the table next to us and wrap both of my arms around his neck. I find his lips warm and waiting. I plan to give him a thank you kiss, but it turns into an I love you kiss. He puts one arm around my waist and the other slides up into my hair. He presses his lips harder into mine and gradually opens them to kiss me more intensely. I'm sure that lightning bolts have struck me because I feel small tingles all the way up the middle of my body and into my chest. My heart is beating fiercely as I pull him closer and tighter.

Our I love you kiss turns into an I want you kiss. One that becomes overly passionate as he presses against me to lie down on the couch. We find it hard to restrain ourselves since we are alone for once, and we know that we belong together.

His lips are searing as he trails kisses down my neck and under my ear. He lets his weight rest over me and I couldn't care less that he's robbing my lungs of oxygen. My hands are keeping busy running through his hair and I keep my lips occupied kissing his forehead. Finally, he returns his mouth to mine and pushes himself against me even more.

But then he stops kissing me, suddenly, slowly sits up and whispers, "I want you, Katie." My heart pounds uncontrollably. "We could just let it happen right here, right now. But I want to wait." My heart seems to stop as I anticipate what he's going to say. What do you want to wait for, Harry? I ask in my mind. He has already said he would buy me a ring, but I want to hear him say more.

Harry continues almost painfully, "I want to wait until you are my wife." My heart practically jumps out of my chest. I'm thrilled at his words, but I feel completely torn because I want to pull him back to me and not give a second thought to our actions. However, the more sensible part of me, the more real part of me tells me that I want to wait, too. It will be difficult to pull away now. It will be difficult to wait. But I know in my heart that it's what we both want.

And I know that waiting is the right thing to do.

Harry grabs his crutches and pulls himself up. He holds a hand out to me and helps me to stand up, too. "I love you, Katie, and I want to do this the right way. Okay?"

"I do, too," I agree.

We decide to order our dinner to take our mind off of what just happened. Off of how much we still want each other.

"Let's put the wine away," I suggest with a laugh and he agrees.

After we've stuffed ourselves full of Chinese food, we move back to the couch and sit on opposite ends for the time being. I decide to bite the bullet. "So, we are thinking the same thing, right?"

Harry greets my question with a look of confusion and I respond, "You and me. It's so soon, but we want...to get married, right?"

He grins that dimpled smile that I love so much. "Yes." And then he asks, "Didn't I make that obvious a little while ago? More than once??"

"Yes, I guess you did!" I agree with a loud laugh. "So you don't think we're rushing things?"

He sighs deeply and then presents me with his irresistible grin. "Maybe we are, who knows?" He shrugs. "But I know this is what I want, Katie. I want you. For the rest of my life. I just know," he insists. "But I don't want you to feel rushed at all. There is absolutely no pressure from me, all right?"

"No, I know that and I don't feel pressured. I know it's you," I tell him. "I know, in my heart of hearts, that you're the one, the person I'm going to spend my life with. And I don't feel pressured. But you know our families will probably think we're moving too fast."

"For sure," he nods in agreement. "But we'll just have to figure it out along the way, I guess. We can talk to our families about us, about what we want, about where we're headed. It will help them warm up to the idea, I think."

I nod again, thinking that everything he's saying is making so much sense. "So, what are we going to do when you go back to college, back home? You've only been here a month. I keep forgetting you don't live here. It breaks my heart when I think about you leaving. Please tell me you have a plan." I plead with him.

I'm hoping for a Cinderella moment. That he will tell me that we are to be wed tomorrow, and that we will live happily ever after in his castle. However, I know that life isn't as easy as a fairy tale.

He is quiet for a moment and then admits with a sigh, "I don't know, Katie." I now love the sound of my nickname from his lips. "This has all happened so fast that I don't have a plan yet. But whatever my future holds, you will be part of it. You have to believe that." I believe him with all my heart. "I don't mean to sound trite, but I know that God has a plan for us, you know? I believe he meant for us to find each other." I'm awed by the conviction he seems to have about the direction for his life, about God orchestrating it for him.

I am especially moved that he thinks God wants us to be together. The same thought had crossed my mind, more than once, that we were somehow "made for each other," as corny as that sounds. But there was always the nagging fear that maybe I was over-romanticizing the situation. Not anymore. I believe as firmly as Harry does that we were meant to be together.

I decide to change the subject with a question that has been on my mind since the dinner at Harry's cabin. "So, what your mom said about you not being able to have children...is that true?"

He looks at me sympathetically. "The doctors did say that it was a possibility. Any time there's a spine injury, it can affect fertility and other bodily functions. But since I haven't had any bathroom issues, they think it's quite likely that I won't have any problems fathering children. But we won't know for sure until we try."

We. As in, the two of us, having children together. The thought thrills me to my very core.

"Will that change your mind?" He wonders. "I mean, having kids is a big deal. I don't want you to marry me and then find out that I can't give you – us – children."

"Well, I want children. I want your children." Saying it out loud sounds a bit radical. "But if for some reason that can't happen, I still want to be with you. You are the love of my life, Harry. I'll never find another you."

After another long and passionate kiss, Harry reluctantly decides to leave. We had toyed with the idea of having him spend the night. Maybe even sharing the same bed, just for sleeping, of course. But after what had happened earlier – or almost happened – we decide together that he should go home for the night.

Saying good-bye is excruciating. Harry pulls me into one last tight hug and whispers in my ear, "It won't be long before we won't have to say good-bye anymore."

I wish I could believe him, but it feels like it will be forever.

* * * * *

Merry Christmas - hope you enjoyed this special chapter ! <3