"It's not the same," I say in a quiet voice hugging my knees to my chest resting my chin on them.

"But I'm the only one who actually stays with you,"

I nod slowly my bottom lip shaking "What's wrong with me?..."

"For a start, you don't appreciate what you have, and you should probably go on a diet,"

"Yeah..." I nod and tears fall down my cheeks as I do so, "You know I wouldn't lie to you right?"

"Yeah... I know," I mutter in almost a whimper, "Com 'ere," He reaches his arm out encouraging me to sit on his lap for a hug.

I move over to him my face resting agsinst his shoulder as I hug his torso

He strokes his hand through my hair as he whispers in my ear, "Forget about him,"

"I dont think I can," I say with a gentle sob, "I'm not going to help you if you don't even try,"

"I think I loved him Namjoon," I mumble.

"But he doesn't love you, he just used you for sex and left when you got too dependant,"

I sob at his words my grip tightening on him, "Com'on it's okay, you got me,"

"I know," I whimper biting my bottom lip not wanting to sound any more pathetic then I already do.

He rubs my back soothingly, "You're better off this way,"

"I don't wanna be better off. I wanna be with him," I sob.

"You don't get a choice,"

I nod squeezing my eyes closed, "You let yourself get attached to people too easily,"

"I know," I shuffle in Namjoon's lap "Imma go to my room... I think I wanna be alone..." I mumble.

"Hm okay, take your tea with you," Namjoon says switching on his tv.

I nod picking up the cup. I walk to my room placing it down, I take my phone out my pocket dialing Jimin's number.

"Helllooo Kookieee~," He coos down the phone after a few rings, "Have you talked to Tae today?"

"... No, why...? Want me to call him for you?" He says with a hum, "No... I was just wondering if he told you what happened already,"

"He said he had told you about the video. That must'a been hard for him,"

"Yeah but I'm not talking about that," I sigh remembering him finally opening up to me.

"Did something else happen Jungkook?"

"He wants to end our relationship, whatever it was,"

"Wait your joking right?"

"No, he said he shouldn't have let it go this far to begin with,"

"Oh my gosh," He mutters, "Are you ok?"

"No," I bite my lip feeling my eyes start to water again, "Am I really that hard to love?"

"No. Sweety it's not you. You are perfect" Jimin coos gently.

"Namjoon says it's cause I need to appreciate things more and go on a diet..."

"Jungkook don't you dare. You are underweight already,"

"If I went on a diet Tae might want me back. He only wanted my body to begin with,"

"That's because at first you had a strictly sex relationship. But then he got feelings for you. He told you himself you should eat more,"

"He didn't get feelings for me, he doesn't do relationships,"

"Why do you think he ended it? He is scared of being in a relationship so if he feels like he is gonna be in one he bails,"

"Either way he left me..."

"Dont take it personally... He really does care for you,"

"Just not enough to be in a relationship,"

"He is scared Jungkook. He is scared of being hurt again..."

"Why can't he trust me?"

"Because he doesnt want to get hurt again. He wants to trust but he is scared to,"

"And I was scared of him leaving me, he knows that. It didn't stop him,"

"Everyone at some point puts their own fears above others'

"Not to someone you care about,"

"Jungkook, he shouldn't have ended it but he was scared,"

"I know,"

"Just know he does really love you,"

"How am I supposed to believe that?"

"Because he let down his walls to you. He trusted you enough to keep his secret and to not google the video and watch it yourself. He'd only do that if he really cared for you,"

"I guess so... But what do I do now?"

"Give him space he has to be the one to call you first. I'll talk to him if you want me to,"

"And say what? ... Will he fuck other people now...?"

"I don't know, not for a while I guess. He has a 4 week no sex after break up policy,"

"It's not a break up... There was no relationship,"

"But even then its a 2 week policy. But he saw a relationship forming that's why he stopped it. I'd give it 4 weeks,"

"I don't want to..." I whimper curling into a ball, "I know sweety but you gotta give him the time he has to think."

"I don't want him to think. I want to be there with him,"

"Sometimes you dont get what you want. Maybe he'll relise he can't be without you and come running back"

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then he doesnt."

"And I lose him?"

Jimin sighs down the phone, "Yes... I know it's cliche but if you love him let him go,"

"No..."

"I know it's hard but trying to hold on will only make things worse,"

"It's not fair..."

"I know it isn't,"

"He was the best thing that happened to me since Namjoon and now he's gone,"

"Namjoon was never a good thing for you. But just know he'll still be your friend,"

"Namjoon usually stops me from doing good things, he never stopped me from seeing Tae,"

"He thought it wouldn't be more than a fling. That's why he allowed it,"

"I know, he'll never let me do it again... Taehyung told me to find someone else,"

"Because he doesn't want you to be hooked up on him,"

"What do you mean?"

"He doesn't want you to be sad over him,"

"And he thinks fucking someone else will help?"

"Well the only ways to get over a guy is to get under another one..."

"If I'm fucking someone else I'd be top. Are you suggesting I do as he said?"

"It's up to you Kookie. I can't make that desision for you,"

"I dont know, would it really help?"

"It works sometimes,"

"How would I find someone? Could Namjoon choose again?"

"Could go to a bar and find a hook up? I could be your wingman,"

"When are you free?"

"Tomorrow night? That ok with you?"

"I'll try wait that long,"

"Ok just pine for a little longer ok?"

"You make me sound like a needy dog,"

"More like a lost puppy,"

"More like an abandoned puppy,"

"Not abandoned. I still love you,"

"Hm. Yeah, I still got you,"

"And you always will,"

"Promise?"

"Promise,"