Sorry for the late update, I was trying to find time to give it a final proof read before posting it.

Also I'm probably going to change the name of this story to 'Poles, goals and losing control' to match the AO3 version.

Jungkook impatiently skipped towards Taehyung who was once again slouched outside his building waiting.

He was dressed differently for once, wearing a well fitting shirt and slacks. The top button of his collar was undone causing the fabric to curl away from his neck and allow chilled gusts of wind to hit his skin.

Taehyung looked over him briefly before holding the door open and guiding him up to his apartment.

"You can come up on your own you know," He mumbled, kicking off his shoes. "You know the way,"

Jungkook nodded and gave a small apology, hanging his coat on a free hook and walking to the bedroom where he assumed Taehyung had disappeared to.

He was sitting in the centre of the bed, already unbuttoning his shirt.

"Did you come from work?" Jungkook asked, carefully climbing onto the edge of the bed.

Taehyung gave a dismissive shrug and took hold of his arm to pull him further onto the bed.

Jungkook let out a soft gasp and tried to make himself comfortable.

A rough hand pushed down on his chest, pinning him down to the bed. Jungkook took a tense breath, his lungs fighting against Taehyung's weight. Quickly the fabric covering him was ripped away and tossed aside.

He squirmed under Taehyung's blank stare, holding his breath as the man tackled his belt.

His skin felt cold against the air as the rest of his clothes were removed. Taehyung held his thighs, his warm hands burnt his skin as he took handfuls of the flesh before wrenching them apart to make room to sit between his legs.

Jungkook felt his eyes water, a crippling vulnerability overwhelming him as he looked up at Taehyung who loomed above him and felt the bruising grip on his thighs.

He stared down at him, a trace of lust in his eyes hiding behind that same blank stare he had met on his last visit.

Taehyung shifted to lean forward.

"Red,"

He stilled. Then moved back, lips pressed into a line. "What is it?"

Jungkook let out a short breath of relief, his head falling back on the pillow. "I'm uncomfortable," He admitted quietly and turned to stare at the wall. "You're too rough,"

"You were fine with it before,"

"That was different," He whispered, slowly pulling himself up, shifting back to sit on the pillow. Taehyung's hands tickled his thighs as he moved, his grip loosened but still resting on his legs.

Taehyung waited for him to continue.

"You were nice to me before. Now... I feel like you're using me,"

He scoffed. "I'm using you? Did you forget what this is Jungkook?"

Jungkook looked back at him with wide eyes.

"If anything you're using me," He continued. "You want me for sex, yeah? That's why you call me. When have I asked anything of you?"

He still didn't speak, struggling to take in what he was saying, the words echoing in his mind as he tried to organise his thoughts. He didn't have to though because Taehyung wasn't finished.

"You aren't entitled to my friendship, Jungkook. I was nice to you for Jimin, now you're talking again we're just sex, yeah? I don't care about you,"

Jungkook pulled his knees up to his chest, internally cursing as he felt his lower lip quiver. He bit it roughly and lowered his head. Before he did he noticed a flash of emotion cross Taehyung's face.

"I- I didn't mean that. I mean I did but not the last part. I don't not care about you I just don't want to be your friend," He spoke more softly now, crawling closer to him on the bed.

"I don't care," He mumbled, slipping off the bed to collect his shirt.

"Jungkook," He sighed. "You don't understand,"

"Then make me," He snapped, smoothing down his shirt across his torso.

Taehyung ducked his head. "... It's not easy for me to let people know me and I know you'll leave if I do care about you. I can't deal with that. If anything happens with your parents you would leave, wouldn't you?"

Jungkook's fingers coiled around the hem of his shirt. "I would,"

"So you can't blame me,"

Jungkook rolled his eyes. "I can blame you for not having human decency," He muttered, tugging his jeans over his thighs.

"You say that like you give a shit about me. You only care about if I make you happy,"

"That's not true. This is meant to be mutual, Taehyung. I don't know why you have this fucking resentment towards me but I'm not going to let you treat me like shit,"

"I did not treat you like shit! I get a little too rough one time and you act like I'm awful. I'm sorry I've been stressed lately and I'm not as warm and fuzzy as you'd like but it's nothing to do with you!"

"Oh because it's definitely nothing to do with Jimin?"

"Don't talk about shit you know nothing about."

Jungkook finished buttoning his shirt and turned to leave.

"Don't call me again," Taehyung said, staring at Jungkook's back as he hovered in the doorframe.

A few moments later the front door slamming echoed through the apartment.

Jimin sat his phone on the white plastic table before throwing himself onto accompanying chair.

The thick scent of fried food wafted through the air of the restaurant making Jungkook's stomach churn and the loud chattering that surrounded him was completely tuned out as he thought about his order.

"We aren't ordering til you tell me what's happened," Jimin reminded, leaning forward on the shiny table.

"But I'm hungry,"

"Then you better tell me quick!"

Jungkook groaned, tossing his head back before slowly collecting himself and facing his friend again.

"Taehyung and I had an argument,"

"I got that much but why?"

"He was rough and I told him to stop then he got angry with me. Said he's not my friend and I'm asking too much or something, I don't remember exactly,"

Jimin sighed.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just frustrating. I care about you both and I wish you would get along," He said, fingers tangled together as he picked at his nails.

"He doesn't seem very interested in getting along,"

"I know," Jimin mumbled. "He might be mad for me telling you this but he has a pretty bad attachment issues. That's why he doesn't want to talk to you. Please be patient with him,"

"Attatchment issues?"

Jimin seemed to hesitate. "He knows and is liked by a lot of people but he doesn't let anyone get close to him. He panics and pushes them away,"

"He told me not to call him again, I don't think he cares,"

His friend frowned, toying with the edge of the menu as he took a deep breath. "I promise he cares about you Kookie; I can tell. He's just scared and acting stupid, I'll talk to him for you if that'll help?"

"I don't know... I don't want to talk about him anymore,"

His friend nodded slowly. "I guess I'll go order the food. I'll be right back okay?" He dragged himself out of his seat and wandered to the queue.

Jungkook frowned, unsure whether he had done the right thing with Taehyung but far more bothered by the fact his friend didn't ask him what he wanted.

Jungkook was about to follow and make sure when the phone on the table buzzed.

It hummed rhythmically against the table for a second until Jungkook picked it up to take with him.

He took a quick glance at the contact name and slumped back in his seat.

'Taebear 💘💞🧸'

He stared at it, questioning the contact name but having no doubt who it was.

Jungkook gave a final look to Jimin before turning the phone off and catching up to his friend.

Taehyung called his friend for the 5th time, going straight to voicemail. He threw the device on his sofa with a grumble, pressing his fingers firmly against his temples.

He followed after it within a second to call again only to get the same result.

Gripping onto his hair he let the phone fall into his lap. He could feel panic rising in his chest and tried to force it down.

Why did everything feel as though it was going wrong?

Was Jimin not answering because of how he behaved to Jungkook?

But he promised not to take sides. The thoughts spiralled in his mind, forcing doubt into each crevice of his thoughts, every word his friend had spoken under a microscope as he tried to deduce what was happening.

Of course it was pointless. He had never been able to quench anxiety with thoughts but with no one to reach out to he had no other ideas. Everything had accumulated to an ugly peak that insisted on stabbing his mind.

The world became distant apart from the phone in his hand that proved useless in this moment.

He forced a deep breath, along with with an ounce of reason into his thoughts.

He kicked himself for his dependency. He had gone without Jimin for years before but now he seemed to fall apart everytime something happened and he wasn't by his side.

It wasn't even a big deal. Arguing with Jungkook shouldn't matter. He had much bigger things to worry about. Focusing on the less important consequences was easier than facing his struggles head on. It was a cop out.  He knew it yet he still wanted to pin his emotions on the argument.

Even so he found himself curled up on the cushioned seat, mind filled with a thick fog as he struggled to process his isolation.

Being alone had been so long, so painful that he hadn't realised how crippling it was until it ended. And now he was falling back there faster than he could process. Was his social life so fragile that one argument could make it crumble? It felt as such.

There were people he knew who would no doubt hear him out if not for any reason but politeness but he didn't trust them. They didn't care.

His fingers once again traced the edge of his phone and he pulled the dense object back up to his knee. His thumb hovered over Jimin's contact again before clutching the the device tightly, silently hoping, praying, that he would callback.

But he didn't.

After a while the screen turned black and he tapped it impatiently to bring it back to life.

He chewed on his cheek as he stared at the list of contacts he had accumulated. Could he try talking to someone else?

The idea of reaching out alone was daunting enough to make him want to shrivel into ball but still he found himself glancing over each name, immediately dismissing them all but considering it nonetheless.

He could call Yoongi. He wasn't sure how the man's number had ended up in his phone but his friends grouchy fuck buddy knew of him. They had spoken at least once a week for months and gotten along but never more than customer and bartender.

Further down the list he saw his families contacts. He would often call his nan in times of need but he could barely bring himself to look at the number that was so deeply ingrained in his mind.

Kim Seokjin. The drag queen occasionally worked the same nights as him and made casual efforts to become close that he weakly pushed back against. He owed him too, after all he did save his sisters birthday cake free of charge.

He hesitantly thumbed at the contact, heart seizing at the thought.

Yet in a moment of desperation he lowered his thumb to the heated screen, resting it there for a second when he saw the colour change to a navy blue, faint ringing audible from where he held it curled on his lap.

He slowly brought it to his ear.

The ringing continued for a few moments until he picked up, a short second of silence followed where Taehyung felt his throat constrict uncomfortably, creating a pressure in his chest.

"Hey Taehyung, what's up?" The familiar voice rung through the phone.

It took him a few seconds to respond with a pathetic greeting.

"Is something wrong?" The other man soon questioned, concern laced in his tone.

"No," He answered instinctively. "I mean yes but it's not a big deal. Do you uh, want to hang out?" He asked. Taehyung wet his lips and braced himself in preparation for the answer.

"Like now?"

"Nevermind it's stupid," Taehyung interrupted, ready to throw his phone across the room and go and lie in bed for a few hours instead until his loneliness passed.

"No it's okay, I'm free. It's just a little sudden, I thought you didn't like me,"

Taehyung stilled. "Why's that?"

"You always seemed annoyed when I tried talking to you," He explained nonchalantly. "I was really scared to ask you for that favour but Hobi insisted. I was surprised you said yes but I guess he was right,"

"Oh," He muttered, slouching against his seat.

"But I'm happy to hang out now, I mean, I've got nothing going on til the evening,"

Taehyung nodded to himself. "Where do you want to go?"

"I'm not sure, I'm up for anything," He chirped.

"Can- can we do something small?"

Jin agreed and soon they had arranged for him to visit his house, with a book in case things became slow. Somehow he seemed to catch on that this was a struggle for Taehyung and made the suggestion, saying that they could just set and read together if he'd like.

As the call ended and the phone dropped back into his lap Taehyung felt a surreal calmness. He struggled to comprehend a person being so accomadating to him. He checked his call history as if checking it were real before getting ready, a small smile resting on his lips as he pulled the book from his bedside table and left.

Despite the darkness that loomed in his thoughts he was happy he made this step. He pushed the thoughts and situation to the back of his mind so he could get ready.

Jin lived closer than he thought and he was able to get there quickly with a brisk walk.

It was a smaller apartment than his and wasn't as well kept but still decent. He climbed the stairs and sucked in a breath before knocking.

The door opened to reveal Jin, it took a second for him to adjust to the sight of him without make up and in casual clothes, though he assumed the other man also had to adjust.

"Come in," He smiled. "Sorry it's a bit messy, wasn't expecting company,"

"No it's okay,"

Jin guided him to the livingroom, a small pale grey room with a corner sofa where they sat.

"So, what are you reading?" Jin asked, gesturing to the small bag that was slung over his shoulder.

Taehyung gulped and pulled the book from his bag, thankful that he hadn't immediately jumped into why he had called out of the blue and what was wrong.

"It's just a book on the stomach microbiome," He said, holding it out to him.

"That sounds dense,"

Taehyung stared at him for a moment until it occurred to him that Jin knew almost nothing about him. Yet somehow he didn't feel too apprehensive about it. "I'm a nutritionist, my day job I mean,"

"Oh yeah? You enjoy it?"

He nodded, a smile sneaking onto his lips. "My nan always wanted me to do a hard subject and since she loves cooking it felt fitting. It was boring at first but it grew on me; I like being able to help people,"

Taehyung looked back to Seokjin who gave him a soft smile, unsure if he was going to continue. He felt a pang of distrust but attempted to smother it.

"I get it, my dad wants me to be a doctor. I settled for nursing instead, more my style,"

"Why's that?" Taehyung asked without thought.

"I don't know, I like caring for people. I'd rather do the dirty work and be positive for patients than be a surgeon who sees more of their organs than anything else,"

They spoke for a while and Taehyung found himself relaxing in his presence, offering small pieces of information whenever he felt ready and appreciating Jin's response as he seemed to catch on that it was difficult for him.

Eventually the topic ventured further, after almost an hour of chatting about pointless, distant topics, being met with endless patience towards his awkwardness, he felt calm.

"Do you talk to anyone other than Jimin? If you don't mind me asking," Jin finally asked, by now they were both comfortable on the sofa with bowls of cereal in their laps.

He shook his head. "I've had a few fuck buddies but Jimin is the only person I've ever really opened to. He's been busy lately so I thought I should try to make more friends,"

"It's good you're taking that step," He commented.

Taehyung gave a nervous glance towards him. "Would you be my friend?" He whispered.

Jin smiled. "Sure, we can hang out again,"

Taehyung slumped back on the sofa.

"It was weird seeing you so tense, I always thought you were overconfident if anything," Jin smiled, collecting milk on his spoon.

"I am," Taehyung smirked, tilting his head to look over at him. "It's only talking about myself that makes me nervous. I hate it. That's why I don't,"

"So you just never talk about yourself?" He questioned.

"Nope. I spoke to Jimin because he wouldn't leave me alone and he grew on me so I worked through it... It was hard but worth it. After that I was satisfied with having just him, I don't need anyone else,"

"Yet here you are,"

Taehyung's smile faltered and he nodded, shifting to sit properly again. "Can I tell you something?"

Jin nodded.

"My latest fuckbuddy turned out to be one of Jimin's old friends. I was nice to him and helped them meet up again but now Jimin spends all his time with him. It stresses me out," He sighed. "There's family stuff too I guess but I think I was too mean to Jungkook. I can't help but think he and Jimin are both going to fuck off together,"

"That's Understandable,"

"It is?"

Jin shrugged. "I get it but maybe you should apologise to him, Jungkook, was it?"

Taehyung huffed, placing his empty bowl on the coffee table and flicking through pages of his book. "I don't want him to think he's my friend,"

"Why can't he be?"

"Don't trust him,"

"And you trust me?"

Taehyung tilted his head before giving a small nod. "A little, yeah. I've known you for ages and you've always been nice to me,"

Jin hummed, pausing for a moment to drink the milk before placing the bowl on the table. "I can only go off what you've told me and it sounds like you should apologise,"

"Maybe," He mumbled. "I just want to keep things how they were before we met,"

"That's not usually possible, change is inevitable," Jin shrugged and stood up, collecting He bowls and taking them to the kitchen. When he returned he brought a blanket. "Im sure things will work out. How about we watch a film? I've still got a few hours before I need to leave,"

Taehyung agreed, grinning as they flicked through the different shows available.

A/N This one was hard to write 😭
Sorry it's only 3k words, I don't like having too many skips per chapter so I break it up instead of having a third