15 - If You Leave Me

<Choi Palace>

"You go, I'll come, don't worry." Seungcheol guided him to their room and opened the door, "Just a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay." Jeonghan nodded as he walked in and closed the door.

Seungcheol made his way to the place where Jeonghan was present when he had arrived.

He approached a guard.

"Hail the majesty." The guard bowed.

"Since when, Jeonghan was here?" Seuncheol asked.

"Since morning, your highness."

"What?" Seungcheol frowned.

"The majesty didn't leave this place since morning. He didn't leave for lunch or dinner either. Chief majesty and Queen Mother came to talk to him but he didn't go."

'And he told me he was here just a few minutes ago.'

"Okay." Seungcheol nodded as he went back towards his room.

He was worried. Jeonghan waiting for him was still acceptable but what was so wrong that he had to stay there for the entire day? Why was he so restless?

Seungcheol pushed the door open as he saw Jeonghan sitting on the bed.

Seungcheol closed the door behind him as the younger stood up.

"I prepared a bath for you, go freshen up." Jeonghan chuckled lightly, "And if you're not in a good mood then tell me, I'll help you calm down, okay? I hope everything went well today. It did, right?"

Seungcheol just stared at the odd behaviour of the younger, "It did."

"I'm glad. Go freshen up."

Seungcheol decided to take a bath first and then talk to the younger, calmly.

He quickly freshened up as he walked out of the bathroom. He saw Jeonghan, still waiting for him eagerly.

"Jeonghan." Seungcheol asked, "I know something is bothering you. What is it? Tell me very honestly."

Silence fell inside the room for a while.

"Seungcheol, I need to tell you something." Jeonghan hesitantly muttered.

"Yeah, what is it?" Seungcheol asked, "Why are you so worried?"

Jeonghan turned around to face the mirror while Seungcheol was standing behind him at a distance. Jeonghan looked up, locking his eyes with the older through the mirror, "I don't have the mark anymore."

"What mark?" Seungcheol frowned.

"The mark for which you married me." Jeonghan shifted his shirt a bit to expose his right shoulder. And that was true, there wasn't any mark on it.

Seungcheol remained silent as Jeonghan looked down. The day he had feared the most was here.

"It's gone since morning." Jeonghan mumbled.

"What do you feel about it?" Seungcheol asked, "Are you happy? You didn't want it anyways, right?"

"I want to be happy."

"Want to?" Seungcheol pointed out, "If you want to be happy with this situation then what's stopping you?"

"You." Jeonghan breathed out, "And I don't have any further explanation for it so don't ask me."

"When it appeared on your shoulder, you were worried. Worried that you'll have to marry a person who was obsessed-"

"Was." Jeonghan intervened, "I don't care what was the situation initially, Seungcheol. All that matters is what you think now."

Seungcheol trudged towards the younger, "Jeonghan, I'm extremely sorry for what I'm going to do. You can yell at me after it but this is required."

The next moment, Seungcheol wrapped his arms around the younger's waist, engulfing him into a back hug. He leaned in to press his lips against the bare skin of Jeonghan's shoulder where the mark used to be.

He sucked on his skin biting it gently while Jeonghan kept staring into the mirror, trying to understand whatever that was going on. Seungcheol pulled him closer as he nibbled on the younger's skin recklessly.

Jeonghan looked at the reflection of him being amidst the older's arms while he continued, "Seungcheol what-"

"Shh." Seungcheol intervened, "Speak only AFTER I'm done." He kissed the younger's earlobe after which he leaned down again.

Jeonghan unconsciously closed his eyes as he let the older take over himself. He tilted his neck, providing more access to the older as he didn't spare a single inch of his exposed skin. Jeonghan clutched Seungcheol's palms which were on his waist, tightly as he leaned closer to him.

The only sound audible at that moment was Seungcheol sucking on his shoulder fiercely as he held on the edge of the younger's shirt. Jeonghan clutched his chest as his heartbeat raced. Seungcheol's tongue lurked over his skin until he was completely satisfied with his work.

"Open your eyes, darling." Seungcheol gently whispered.

He looked at the mark he had created as he kissed it once again, sending shivers through the younger's entire body. He made an eye contact with the younger through the glass furniture, "You don't need any mark. If that one is gone then here you go. Will this new one assure you that I'm not going to leave you in any situation?"

Jeonghan gulped the lump in his throat as he stayed within the older's embrace.

"You're my husband. No mark, no past and no other human can change this fact." Seungcheol tightened his grip on the younger's waist as he kissed his neck once again, "I've already hurt you a lot and I'm genuinely sorry for it. I know you don't trust me yet but I'm not going to repeat that mistake Jeonghan.

It's better that the mark is gone, I'm really happy. Now at least you won't say that I'm with you because of a pathetic design. You mean much more than it to me. The strength you've provided me in these few days means a lot to me. Please don't worry about it, I'm here, I promise."

A tear rolled down through Jeonghan's eyes and he didn't know why. Probably because a huge burden was released from his chest? Or probably because he didn't expect this at all.

Seungcheol took a deep breath after which he guided him towards the bed and settled the younger against the headboard while taking a seat in front of him.

Seungcheol took his palm into his hands, "Don't you dare cry because of me. You remember my declaration, right? Or you're indirectly asking me to go and die somewhere?"

Jeonghan broke down into a brief laughter as the sound of his soft giggles echoed in the room.

Seungcheol stared at him with a small chuckle. He had succeeded to make him smile, genuinely. He did it. He managed to bring that pretty smile back on Jeonghan's face.

No wonder everyone wanted to see him smile. Because, he looked breathtakingly mesmerizing with that happiness plastered on his face.

"Thank you." Seungcheol chuckled.

"What for?" Jeonghan looked up.

"For existing." Seungcheol offered his hand, "Come."

Jeonghan contemplated for a while after which he held the older's hand who took him towards the window.

They stood by the huge window as Seungcheol engulfed the younger into a back hug while resting his chin on Jeonghan's shoulders.

"Look at the sky." Seungcheol's husky yet gentle voice echoed, "The moon, the stars. Pretty, right?"

"Hmm." Jeonghan nodded, feeling the older's breath against his neck, "The sky is beautiful with the moon and stars."

"But still, the sky must be really jealous of me right now." Seungcheol chuckled, "Because I'm the only one who has Yoon Jeonghan. You know, people call their partners with names like my world, universe, moon, star, gem, diamond blah blah but I'll never give you these acronyms. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you're much more precious than all of them combined." Seungcheol kissed his shoulder, "No one glows like you do. Your eyes are more serene than the moon and your emotions are much vast than the universe.

You're more valuable than any gem out there. So giving you these names will simply depreciate your worth. You can't be compared to anyone, Jeonghan. You're not one in a billion, you're one in a lifetime, my one and only."

Jeonghan smiled as he slowly leaned back towards the older's chest.

"I know I realised it late but I did." Seungcheol muttered, "The fact that I've hurt you so much that you had to worry about a mark leaving your body, aches my heart. I'm ashamed of myself, your majesty. I committed the biggest sin of my entire life span. And now, I can even sacrifice my soul to repent for it."

"I don't want you to sacrifice anything for me. It's just-" Jeonghan inhaled a deep breath, "You won't leave me, right?"

"Can you ignite a small fire?" Seungcheol asked.

Jeonghan nodded as he put forward his palm and recited a spell to which a small flame sparked on his palm.

Seungcheol grazed his palm over the fire, "I swear to this holy element of fire, if the thought of leaving you ever comes to my mind even by mistake, this fire can feast on my soul and burn me alive."

Jeonghan gasped as he retracted the fire and turned around, "Why did you do this? You can't predict the future like this, Seungcheol."

"True, I can't." Seungcheol placed his hand on the younger's cheek, "But I just know, no matter what the situation is, I'll stay by your side. Even if you push me away from yourself, I'll be there."

Jeonghan fought with his thoughts within himself but he finally decided to snuggle himself in the older's embrace.

"Have you finally started liking me?" Seungcheol grinned as he caressed the younger's back and hair.

"I don't know about liking you but yeah, I don't hate you anymore." Jeonghan muttered, "If you won't get upset then may I say something?"

Seungcheol broke the hug to look at his husband, "Say anything you wish to."

"If-" Jeonghan contemplated for a while, "If these words and promises are just some pretty lies, then please tell me already and don't continue it. It's better for me to stay alone than being left alone."

"You won't be able to trust my words, would you?" Seungcheol cupped his cheeks, "Look into my eyes and find the truth yourself. I don't think anyone can fool the finest manipulator of all times."

"That's the problem, your highness." Jeonghan whispered, "Your sweet promises, gentle voice and tender touches are always willing to break the walls I've built around my heart. But everything that has happened makes me feel vulnerable.

I want to forget it, I want to trust you, I want to dedicate myself to you but something always stops me. One part of me says that accepting you would be the most soulful feeling ever but another says that falling for you is dangerous.

I'm at that point where I can't understand if I'm with you because it's my responsibility or because I genuinely want to. When the mark disappeared, I feared, Seungcheol, I'm not lying. And I don't know why was I so scared. I don't know why the first thing that came to my mind was you.

Seungcheol, I don't know why all day I was bothered that you'll leave me. Every passing second, I was just dying to see you. Mom, Joshua, everyone said that it will be fine and nothing would go wrong. But I calmed down only when you said it yourself. My worries faded only when you embraced me.

Tell me, should I rely this much on you? Tell me Seungcheol, am I supposed to give my peace of mind to you? Even if I still can't forget anything, even if those days of me getting ruined still haunt me, why do you mean so much to me? How did you take the rights of the reason for my smile and tears?

Am I supposed to give you rights on me when I don't have any rights on you?"

"Who said that?" Seungcheol almost teared up, "When I said you've all rights on me, I wasn't lying, Jeonghan. I know you don't express yourself often but I'm happy to know that I mean this much to you. I don't think I deserve it but I'm grateful to you.

I'm over the moon after knowing that you were scared to lose me but at the same time it hurts to know that you had to bother about me drifting away from you. Trust me Jeonghan, losing you would be MY loss. I should rather be scared to lose you."

Seungcheol held the younger's palm and kissed the back of it, "This hand, I promise, I'll never leave it." He next kissed Jeonghan's forehead, "Whenever you feel overwhelmed, you can seek shelter in my arms. Make me your home where you can feel comfortable without thinking about anything else."

Jeonghan rested his head against the older's chest while clutching his shirt. Without realising, he started crying. For the first time in a while, he had decided to show his vulnerable side to someone.

Seungcheol knew that he was releasing everything off his heart, everything that had been piling inside him and bothering him since forever.

Seungcheol wrapped his arms around him, "Let it all out, Jeonghan, everything."

There was that day when Jeonghan had cried while blaming Seungcheol for his misery and today was the day when he cried again, while seeking comfort in Seungcheol's arms, escaping the chain of all his miseries.

Beautiful, wasn't it?

Jeonghan kept weeping continuously. The intensity of his cries were evident that he was dealing with a lot but now he knew that he wasn't alone.

Seungcheol felt moisture in his eyes while hearing the younger's cries but he kept consoling him, "Calm down baby, enough. I'm here, right?"

As Jeonghan calmed down, he slowly broke the hug, wiping away his tears.

"Good job Jeonghan, you finally let out everything that was bothering you." Seungcheol gently held his shoulders, "Don't worry, I'll be with you, forever."

"And as a matter of fact, forever is a lie, Seungcheol."

"Is it?" Seungcheol nodded, "Then, you know, I'll stay by your side, until I burn every drop of myself in your fire, until I walk with you to the serenity of the moon, until I read you a hundred times like prayers, until my wishes flow in you waves, until your eyes keep searching for me, I swear you'll always find me, Jeonghan.

Every string that you'll hold, I'll be standing on the other end, holding it with you. If not forever then until my heart beats, if not always then until the end of time, the day where I leave you alone would never come, never."

Jeonghan placed his hand on the older's cheek, "My husband."

Seungcheol chuckled as he kissed his palm, "Exactly."

After staring at each other for a while, Seungcheol lifted Jeonghan in his arms without breaking their interlocked gaze. He reached the bed and settled him over it.

He quickly got into the bed to sit beside him and raised the covers over both of their legs, "Now, you should rest, okay?"

Seungcheol leaned in to press a kiss on his forehead, "You were so stressed for the entire day. I should've been here, with you."

"It's okay, Seungcheol. It was your responsibility." Jeonghan assured.

"Right." Seungcheol mumbled.

"You know what?" Jeonghan muttered while holding the older's hand firmly, "My heart is beating really fast, right now."

"Why so?" Seungcheol asked.

"I don't know." Jeonghan whispered, "Maybe because I know that I have you?"

"Obviously, you have me." Seungcheol grinned.

Seungcheol escaped the younger's hand as he removed the chain he was wearing. Jeonghan just stared at him as Seungcheol removed his own chain as well after which he made Jeonghan wear it while he himself wore Jeonghan's.

"What was this?" Jeonghan laughed slightly.

"I just felt like doing it." Seungcheol nodded, "Hold on- you didn't eat anything today, right?"

"Who told you?" Jeonghan asked.

"I know everything." Seungcheol scoffed, "Jeonghan, seriously? Why would you not eat huh? And I'll talk to mom tomorrow. In my absence, is there no one to take care of my stubborn husband? This is not done-"

"Seungcheol, calm down. I didn't feel like eating that's why I didn't." Jeonghan explained.

"You shut up." Seungcheol glared at him, "Let's go, you need to eat something."

"Don't disturb anyone right now, it's late at night." Jeonghan stated, "So what if they're our staff, they need to rest too. And it's not their fault that I didn't eat."

"I won't disturb anyone, I'll cook for you." Seungcheol nodded.

"What? No, you just came back, all exhausted! You should sleep now, I'm not hungry at all-"

"Shh." Seungcheol intervened, "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you to come with me."

"Seungcheol-"

"No, just come with me." Seungcheol ordered as both of them walked out of the room.

"You said you don't want to eat and everyone just agreed." Seungcheol started blabbering, "And that too for the whole day? How can they do this? Ridiculous."

"I'm not a kid that everyone has to run behind me to make me eat." Jeonghan rolled his eyes, "It's no one's fault."

"Yeah, it's my fault that I thought you can take 'good' care of yourself." Seungcheol retorted.

"C'mon Seungcheol, it's not a big deal." Jeonghan sighed as they reached the kitchen.

"Fine then, even I won't eat for an entire day and when you'll say something about it, I'll also say that, c'mon Jeonghan, it's not a big deal."

"I swear, you're so dramatic." Jeonghan chuckled.

"Do you think you're not?" Seungcheol raised a brow, "But- you should be. I'm here to take all of your dramas."

"Oh?"

"Yes." Seungcheol stepped forward as he tucked his hair behind his earlobe, "Any doubt?"

"How can I doubt if you're literally going to cook for me at this late hour?" Jeonghan chuckled.

"Anything for you, your highness." Seungcheol grinned as he quickly started cooking while Jeonghan kept staring at him with a small smile.

It was when four staff members rushed in and bowed to both of them, "Hail the majesty! We're so sorry we didn't get a clue that you both were here, we'll cook-"

"It's fine, you can go." Seungcheol stated, "Don't worry."

"We're really sorry, your highness-"

"I already said it's alright. You all, go and sleep." Seungcheol looked at them, "Solitude."

The staff members bowed nervously as they left.

"Done!" Seungcheol declared as he served the food in a plate.

"I'm going to eat alone?" Jeonghan looked at him.

"I already ate." Seungcheol stated, "I didn't know you were starving."

Jeonghan got in the mood to tease him, "And then you say, I mean a lot to you."

"Pardon?"

"I was starving because of being stressed and you didn't even get a feeling?" Jeonghan crossed his arms, "That's not done, Seungcheol."

Seungcheol felt guilty as he looked down.

Jeonghan immediately broke into laughter as he held his cheek, "Aw look at yourself. I was just joking."

"Wow, seriously?" Seungcheol sighed in relief.

"Your face-" Jeonghan continued to laugh, "It was so freaking funny. I can't-!"

"Stop teasing me, okay?"

"Why? You can only bear this much drama?"

"My husband is a manipulator."

"Suitable for you."

Both of them laughed as their soft giggles echoed within the four walls.


A/n : They're dangerous to my heart *sighs.

Anyways take care of everyone!
-Jeonghanneyonghaseyo

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