3 years later

Nisha's POV

"Welcome to our company, Ms. Nisha."

The interviewer said confirming my job. It brought a small smile a face. Finally I would be able to help my mom. I thanked the interviewer and walked out of there.

I walked into the conference hall.

We had a small coronation and photo shoot for all those who were selected.

Everyone congratulated me not just for this but also for finishing masters with flying to the sky colours.
Yes you heard it right... not just my degree but even my masters is now done.

And today we were being allotted to the companies that selected us for jobs.

My classmates and friends congratulated me and I responded to each one of them with a smile.

I drove my car through the main road avoiding all the short cuts... I wasn't afraid what would happen but was afraid of recollecting of what had once happened there.

It's ironic.. memories are supposed to make you smile but here they are hurting me.

A lot has changed since then. I don't drive my bike through the hidden but free roads of Chennai. Where I had a taste of real world. These days I only see the world through my car's windows, like seeing something on the T.V... there are only three channels that I play though.. the road that connects my college and home, the road that connects college and mom's hospital, the road that connects home to Shubhi. This was all I had anyway... everything else is kind of lost. Kind of not completely... but still a bit lost.

Before the train of my thoughts could even get properly started, I reached home.

I got down with the file that had the confirmation letter. I opened the door and...

POP!!

I opened my eyes and saw Amma and Shubhi standing there with two party poppers and the purest of smiles I have ever seen on them.

I smiled... although my smile was a bit adulterated with pain... it would do.

"Congratulations Chellam!!" My mother said embracing me in a hug filled with warmth and pride.

"Thank you ma!!" I said melting in her embrace.

When mom finished her embrace... it was Shubhi' s turn. Her's was rather goofy but equally warm. It felt nice to know that this is one of the things that will always bring a smile on my face, be it while experiencing or remembering it. Unlike few others which kill me from the inside and strand me in nostalgic darkness.

Not yet... I can't give in to it yet. I can't disappoint the people who still believe in me. I maintained the smiling facade firm in it's place all through our dinner. Shubhi and ma were cheerful and lively. They kept on talking without giving a chance for silence to take over. But silence was all that existed inside me. I didn't let it show. I might not be able to fool the world with an illusion... but sometimes you don't need illusions, masks are just enough and I was pretty good with masks.

I did good, for someone who was used to being on point and straight forward, who.. who used to be an open book.

Oh wait... I still am an open book. It's just that no one is able to read the words that are written on me right now.

I might sound dramatic, philosophical and sappy but what I actually am is just sad.

I am not always like this.... I have started to cope.

At first I was hurting because I was in love with him.... then I was desperate because I was still in love with him... then I was sad because I love him.... then I was bitter and hateful because I still love him.... and..... now I am indifferent because I loved him.

I don't feel anything for him no love no hate just indifference because that is all he deserves.

I am not all melancholic every single day since than.... I have moved on or at least trying to... I smile, look ahead, feel love and excitement in other things. There are some days though which were supposed to be our days... days which we have dreamed about to do things... getting a job and settling down together had been one of them.

Those are the days the indifference feels a void and then pain. This is one of those days.

I came out of my room and my thoughts. Shubhi and mom were laughing while watching T.V. A small smile graced my lips.

"Ma" I called out to her and she turned to me. "I am gonna go paint something."

"Ok" she said smiling "dinner time ku vanthudu."

"Seri ma" I agreed and headed out to my penthouse. It was a small and cozy penthouse on top of an apartment in our neighbourhood. I've always wanted it.. just for different purposes.

It was raining slightly and that didn't bother me because I liked it... I always have in some or the other way.

I opened the door and peeked in.... the room was equally decorated with finished art and littered with everything you needed to finish the art.

I tip toed carefully not wanting make mess of room when I am already a mess.

I turned to art and painting especially to distract myself from pain and also remind myself there are other things in life other than love to carve and chase like peace, serenity, excitement, glory.

Anyway it served its purpose.

I stood in front of my almost finished painting and studied for a minute.

Time to finish it!!!

I took a brush and started the finish. This was nice and serene until it ended. I sighed with contempt as I gave the finishing stroke. I looked at the clock... hmmm it took an hour just for the finishing touches... art really is time consuming. I look at it...

There is another reason why I took to painting... I wanted a place to let out my pain. Words, didn't seem enough. So, I tried something else.

It had pain but also beauty.

If there is one thing dad taught me.... it was that time heals everything except for love. There was no love in him... I realise that now. There is no love in me now just pain.

And pain heals with time.

I shook my thoughts away and took a picture of the painting. Amma always asked me, actually demanded me, to show her my paintings. She found them good. Normally I would take my it with me and 5hen get it back. But now it was raining and I didn't want to spoil it.

I took a few more in different angles. Then I looked around. What a mess!

I have been delaying this... but now I do t have anything else to do for another hour and a half. So I started cleaning it a bit. Bit by bit... starting with pencils, brushes and ending with papers and canvas sheets.

I managed to turn this trash can into an artist's abode. I smiled proudly looking around. Satisfied... I grabbed the keys to lock the room and go back.

I came out looking down at my shoes and filled with thoughts of different things. I could feel that it was still raining. I looked the door and then turned I finally noticed my surroundings and with them a man standing in front of me wearing all black. I took in a breath and looked at him.

I looked at his face and then his eyes.

Involuntarily, a whisper escaped my mouth as I exhaled.

"Sanjay"

To be continued....

Well hello y'all.... Sorry first of all...

Between my lazy butt and crazy brain...I could not give an update.

But some part of the colossal disaster that my life must have gone well... because here I am with an update...

Hopefully... it will become a streak...

K now.... how was the chapter?

Was it any good?

What do you feel about Nisha?

Has she really been coping?

What do you feel about Sanjay?

Why did he leave her?

Why did he come back?

Let me know....

Meet you in the next chapter...